Roleplay for One | The Island

You're about to listen to the first experimental season of our show, formerly called Nat One Presents the Podcast. For better audio quality and our current ongoing DD campaign, skip ahead to season two featuring the Daft Monks. On this episode of Nat One Presents. Where some weird numbers and symbols went across the keypad, and I'm like, okay. And then it was a [expletive] smiley face emoji. And I'm like, oh my god, this is straight out of a hacker movie. Like, I just got hacked. I'm poor now.

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Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents the podcast. Hey Nate. Hey Nate, how's it going? It's fine and dandy. Ooh, I can see that. You look good, you know?

Thanks. You uh you noticed the change?

No. Yeah, did you get another job?

No.

But I did get uh two like giant ass splints taken out. They did remove like some cartilage and stuff inside so I can breathe better. Did you get to keep it? I wanted to, but it looks super gross, dude. They were like two and a half inches, dude. When they pulled them out, like they were this [expletive] for sure. I was like super grossed out and impressed. I'm like, I had that going down there, I had no clue. Inside them. Right? Like, apparently, anyway, lots of jokes that could be made there, but not gonna go there. Um, but you're feeling good. Feeling, yeah, feeling feeling good, feeling oxygenated. Ooh.

Yeah.

Is there a bomb gonna go on?

Yeah, yeah, we just heard some ticking from our equipment, so that's uh a little terrifying. Oh, and he just got his nose fixed now. The computer's gonna explode.

Cool.

I can afford one of those things.

It's the rise in the machines. So this thing happened to me the other day at the gas station. I decided to use the sweet uh self-checkout robot machine. At a gas station? At the gas station. What kind of gas station? Circle K's have them now. So all you do is it has this weird platform where you go up and set your stuff on top of it, and somehow it takes a picture of it and then it automatically scans it. You don't even have to scan it, it just does it. Now, I've used this thing probably 12 times because I have a Red Bull addiction and I buy a lot. Accurate. Yes, and it's worked flawlessly every time.

But now, on this time, it did not want to function right, and then something happened on the key bet, uh, the keypad after I already put in my debit card, where some weird numbers and symbols went across the keypad, and I'm like, okay, and then it was a [expletive] smiley face emoji, and I'm like, oh my god, this is straight out of a hacker movie. Like, I just got hacked. I'm poor now. Hacker got my whole banking account. Did you check your account? I did, it was fine. But like, how weird is that? Like, I don't know what kind of program they're running, but when you're giving me a winky smiley face emoji after a financial transaction, it'd be like if you finish a transaction, like, congratulations, you didn't get hacked.

Like, I'd be like, Did I? Right.

Instantly second guessing it. So then I'm just standing there, like, did I pay? It didn't say I paid. Did I get robbed?

I just imagine you slowly are reaching for your products as you were thinking about that and just walking away.

And then I cracked open a Red Bull too as I'm still thinking about it. But I'm like, this is like the machines coming, like the self-driving cars. I saw more of those coming. I think they want self-driving semis now, which is [expletive] terrifying. Yes.

Absolutely not.

Human beings can barely drive them. Like, I have a commercial driver's license, so I know what goes behind it. And when I see one of these dudes with a tractor trailer on his phone eating a bowl of cereal at the same time, he's I'm like, oh man, I am fear of my life.

It always reminds me of like Final Destination. Like, there's like one of them where it has like lumber on the back and [expletive]. Like, that's gonna be like those guys driving on the road.

And now if they're robots, man, chaos. Because I've seen robots that can't even walk, they just fall down. So now you're in a giant semi on the road.

Clearly, no, no robots can do anything.

I'm just saying you gotta learn to crawl before you can walk, and you gotta learn to walk before you can drive a [expletive] car.

Before you can drive a semi. That's all I'm saying. Nate, pondering the real deep things I think about. Amazing. So I mean, I I need closure. Like, did you check your bank account and did it come out of your account? Like you get a free drink or no, no, no.

It was fine. Um, everything came out as normal. It almost charged me a second time, but the lady came over and helped me out.

But I was still Did you ask her about it? You were like, hey, I got some jumbled text and uh She had no idea what that meant. Well, that's not surprising. Well, yeah, she works at a gas station.

Nothing against people work at a gas station, but I'm just saying my grandma used to work at a gas station. There's nothing wrong with it. But you're not qualified. Thank you. Sorry. I don't want to offend anybody. Of our 12 listeners, one of them could work at a gas station and he's like, nope, [expletive] these guys. I'm out.

I mean, I keep saying, like, eventually we should have hit the point where there was no more listeners. Like, we should have offended everybody by now. If you're still listening, it's your fault. So it's really just on you.

That's been my goal this entire time. Anyway. Okay, so Rise of the Machines is coming, but we're gonna look past that. Today we're gonna be playing uh Call of Cthulhu again. Another role play for one. Excellent. And this one's gonna be called The Island. And little sweet adventure going on. It's again out of the Berlin book as a side quest, but I think that worked out well last time. So we're gonna keep rolling with it. I made Nate's character this time because he said previously he hates making them, and I love making characters. So you are Bartholomew Pepin. I'm terrible with names, by the way.

Yeah.

Bartholomew Pepin. I'm gonna call you Bart, though. Yeah, we're gonna definitely shorten that. Bad Bart, maybe.

Can't deal with my gay lisp.

We clash so much. And uh I have him labeled as an explorer, but the way I tweaked his stats is uh he was an explorer, but he's now retired and has decided to take up a life of trying to get educated and maybe stick more to the books now.

I'm trying to go on a rant, but like what is an explorer? Like if someone says like I'm an explorer, I'd be like, what does that mean? I think nowadays you can't say that.

No, everything's already been explored. But I think in the 20s. Could you say that in the 20s? Oh, absolutely. Like, I'm an explorer, be like, oh, have you been to the Orient?

All things point to the Orient on the show.

Like, look at these fine silks. Or the ones who like would go uh on safari to Africa or stuff or check out the hunids. Yeah, but you know what I'm saying.

Like, yeah, I just don't feel like it's been true explorers, right, for like hundreds of years. No, so I don't think so. I when I hear when I we see that all the times in games though, it's like, oh, who's the explorer? Dora the explorer. Like, but I'm like, that's not like a thing anymore.

Yeah, plus the map's telling her everywhere to go. Like, what what are you [expletive] exploring, [expletive]? The map's already telling you everybody.

Sorry, I took us off this track. Let's get back. Uh let's go back.

Okay, so you are a retired explorer who's now uh Barty Pepin. Yeah, Barty Pepin. Who's now trying to um basically become an educator of sorts and maybe tell people what he's done with his life. Um with this comes the fact that you need to open up a side business now that you're not exploring so much anymore. So now you're taking little odd jobs here and there, mostly as a private investigator type, because you're qualified, and if anything, it'll help you write your books and stuff that you want to do.

Yeah. They wouldn't take me as an investigative journalist, so I do. Obviously. We're not doing investigative journalists. Ever again on the show.

Ever again. After the two women back to back, well, that's a hard pass.

I use that for every promo clip that week. Like every single promo clip was out. That seemed to say you know.

It was pretty good. It was pretty good.

Um okay. So, are we ready to start?

Any questions, comments, concerns about your character?

Barty Pepin 52. Yes, you're 52. Ready to go?

Do you have a 52-year-old male voice?

Um, I'm gonna figure it out. We'll wing it. Alright, we're just gonna wing it. Okay.

So right now you are currently sitting in your office and then you hear a on your door. Hello. Ooh, I like that. That's nice. Excuse me, sir.

Are you a Mr. Barty Pepin? I am good, sir. Who are you?

Oh, my name is Felix Christofferson, and I have a j I'm terrible with names. Back the [expletive] up, okay? Now my name is uh Felix Christofferson, and uh uh I was hoping you could aid me in some way or form.

Oh, depends on the aid, my friend. What are you looking for?

No, I'm gonna sit down for this.

Is that okay? Kind of like a PTSD.

Uh yes, how see it? Oh, thank you.

I'm really shook up about it. Now, my pet poodle, poopsie, poopsy the poodle, was brutally Christoffenson. No, he didn't want to take my name for some reason. Okay. He's one of those type. Now, Poopsie the Poodle was uh brutally murdered right in front of my eyes at the local lake here in Arkham. I'm sorry for your loss. Oh, thank you very much.

Doesn't sound like much of a mystery to me, though, if you saw it brutally in front of your eyes.

Well, yeah, but the the thing is, it was a creature that got it. And uh I just couldn't take it, you know. I went to the authorities and the cops said, go away.

Can I roll um what's the equivalent of like insight check in this? Psychology. Can I roll psychology? Because your jowl uh noises are making me very uncomfortable. Like I've seen that in my travels, and that's not usually a human reaction to things.

Okay.

Um, so let's go ahead. Oh, yeah, 717.

That's probably good. Um psychology.

I'm gonna say that's a pass. Now, with all of your travels and everything, you can see that he is just a fat, rich man who, because he's so obese and rich, is having a hard time breathing. Okay. And it's just a regular shaking of the jowls to kind of loosen up.

Sir, I I do apologize. Uh upon first impression, I actually thought you were of not human descent and uh of some kind of grotesque wildebeest type like background. But in fact, you are just morbidly obese and struggling for oxygen, and uh for that I do apologize.

Yeah, sorry about that. It's one of my ticks that I have.

Now, sir! Can you help me with my poopsie?

Well, uh I feel obligated now based on that small interaction we just had, and uh Yes, yes, I've I've seen many things in my travels, and uh so tell me a little bit more about this creature.

Now there we were, walking right near the closest part to the island there in that lake. The island, Lake Arkham. Okay, sure. And as I as I was getting closer, good sir, that's when the creature came out. He was about human height, you know, but kind of crawling on all fours a little bit. But the weird thing was he had this red glass for eyes, you see, and he's peering right into my stole, and I was just awestruck by this thing. I couldn't move at all, you see, so and then he got poopsy. Got him good. Mr.

Kristoffson. And I'm gonna like place my Please call me Felix. Felix. I'm gonna place my shoulder uh or on on your shoulder or his shoulder and be like, You have been bamboozled, my friend. I I am so sorry to admit this, but in my travels and I've been many, many, many leagues in in all directions, and uh there are no eight foot creatures with glaring red eyes who walk on all fours, especially not in Lake Arkham. I see that. Somebody played a very cruel dark prank on you, my friend, and for that I do apologize, but I don't think there's much of a mystery here to to solve except for who who that man was impersonating that beast.

Well, if you, sir, can get to the bottom of that, there is a hefty, hefty sum of money in it for you.

Uh I'm gonna like slide a piece of paper your way and a pen too if you're not prepared.

Oh, okay, and then I'll write back like uh it just says Wow, that's that's a big sum for the church. In the 1920s, yeah.

That's how it was poopsie meant to. I'm gonna kind of be like, I suppose I could make something happen for that amount.

Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you. Uh it's you the the last spot Poopsie was at was the the closest point to the island there. I'm sure you've walked that path. Many lovers go out there.

Am I aware of the island?

Do I like is is the island some mysterious entity, or like I know there everybody knows there's an island and yeah, you already know there's like a weird man-made island in the middle of the lake.

It's like Coney Island or yeah.

Yeah, kind of something, whatever. It's out of the German book I'm I'm making alteration.

Yep, we're translating. Deal with it.

Yeah.

Gosh.

Dunkler Schatten is the one we're going right there.

Oh, is that the island?

No, that's the name of this adventure. The location is Faffelnischnell.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. We need to do one of these just in the language. In Germany? Yeah.

Okay, maybe the next one.

That'd be fun. You know some German, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah. Anbissian, a little bit. Okay. Okay. Nope. So you're taking the job for $50,000?

Yes, uh, I suppose. Uh give me everything you have.

All right. And then uh he proceeds to go on and on about the location and how he's talked to other people in the area who have seen sightings of this creature and they have contacted the police who walk up, show up, and they're like, Man, I'm not looking for a monster, and then they get the [expletive] out of there. So he has some eyewitness accounts and things like that, but really all um everything, all the information kind of points to the island itself.

Okay. Uh, does he give me the names or addresses of those people? Um, nothing like that. Nope. So I'm just gonna go, then I will make my way is to like a ferry. Is there a ferry service that will take me?

I'm gonna say this kind of weird island is just like a long bridge. Like a bridge, like a walk. Like a pier that doesn't end. Yes.

Bridges of nowhere. Yes. Like Russia. Yep. I can see my neighbors from Alaska, Russia. Yeah, yeah.

Rich with timber and oil. Timber and oil. So uh you're making your way to the island itself, and Lake Arkham is pretty decent-sized, and there is this weird man-made island kind of in the middle of the lake. Well, not in the middle, it's kind of off to the side a little bit. So there is one bridge that goes across, and it's like a regular path or trail people might take. Like I've never been to Central Park, but something like that, where you kind of walk near the lake and then you can go on to the island and then come off, kind of deal.

Got it, gotcha. I'm gonna say that Barty Pepin, uh, being an explorer, he's a journaler. And so as I'm walking the path, I have my little like mole skin, whatever they had back in the day. And uh yeah, I'm gonna be writing uh dearest diary, illness day. A crazed man came to me about a tragic story involving his dearest dog Poopy. It's Poopy, right? Poopsy? Poopsy. Yeah, poopsy. Um the man first says he saw a beast, but I know in fact that that cannot be possible in all my times in all my travels, as this journal very well knows. I've never encountered anything like that. And I don't know, I'm just gonna go on as I'm kind of right. I don't have to.

And then uh as you're journaling and walking, maybe I'm not paying total attention though, as I'm walking. Okay. And then uh while you're journaling, you kind of hear this loud, like screeching noise, like forward or behind me? Uh forward deeper, like off the normal path, kind of towards the center of the eye band itself.

Let me roll. Is there a what's uh anthropology? That's not necessarily people. Um there's gotta be something for animals, right? Yeah. Um, what could we do for animals?

Let's just do education. Like, does that sound like an actual animal? Yeah, perfect. Kind of say like a crow or yeah, that's a 15 as a couple. Oh yeah, that's good.

Uh it sounds similar to what you've heard when humans try to mimic bird cries.

Okay. Total [expletive]. Yeah. So yeah, so and I can continue on journaling and uh like there's no doubt that this creature is uh an imagination, a figment of his imagination, only further uh spoiled by uh the imitation of uh some likely Ryoli wild child who has no uh no job or or purpose in life, blah blah blah. Yep, perfect.

Uh go ahead and uh since you are still walking kind of off the path now towards the sound, maybe uh just roll for either spot hidden or if you want to do any kind of survival check or nature check to kind of like check your surroundings kind of deal.

All right.

Ooh, 005. I'm gonna say who gives a [expletive]. Whatever it is, I do well on that. Perfect check.

Yep. So um you come across what looks like a scene of a tussle, and you've seen it before, but now it's gonna be a tussle. It's almost like you're the Sherlock Holmes Benedict Cumberbatch where everything slows down and zooms in, and then you notice that you can see sets of prints, uh, a lot of animal prints being dragged in one direction, uh, human footprints, and as well as human hand and footprints, kind of all leading in and out towards a straight path kind of through the thick part of the trees and stuff that have grown over the island.

Okay, so I've finished, I've completely traveled, like traversed the bridge, and I'm now on the island, and I see all these tracks, and there seems to be a claritusle that occurred and is going into that forest.

Yes.

Be like, mm-hmm, a red herring if I ever did see one, but uh since there is I imagine this is not a very big island. Um, no. I'll be like, I'll just follow the yellow brick road.

Oh, perfect. Okay, so you continue on, and there's really nothing. There's like the one path that looks like most people just circle around the island, and then like only like punk kids or vagabonds or whatever might go into the woods part itself. But you're walking into the woods and you see the signs of the tussle, and then now there are old ruins on here that really you've been here quite some time and you never knew that this existed. It's almost like an old stone cottage of some kind that's old, really old, probably as old as the island itself kind of deal. And it's just broke down and weathered over time. Just no roof, no door, just almost the bones of an old stone cottage.

Okay. Hmm. I wonder how long this has been here. This is uh probably a man-made island, but I don't even this actually looks very aged. And uh can I do an archaeology. Yes, you can. I mean, I don't have any numbers for it, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Yep. Uh 13. I'm rolling pretty nice numbers. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't know if you want to give that to me because I don't have archaeology, but no, that's fine.

I'll give it to you. That's a great one.

Definitely a better explorer than I was investigative journalist the other day. That is true.

So far, we're looking great on rolls. So you don't know how actually old the island is right now, but you can tell that this stone structure probably was built as soon as the island was done originally. It's like that old looking.

Okay. Uh yeah, I want to kind of go in.

So perfect.

Um, is it dark? Does it appear dark?

No, there is sunlight coming in, so it's like it's not dim, but it's not bright either. Yeah, it's like sunlight through the woods, kind of. So you walk in and it looks like a mess in here. It looks like Dirty Mike and the boys have been living inside this [expletive] shack for quite some time. And it's just like cans of beans and stuff all opened up, thrown down, nasty bedrolls, maybe some rat droppings all over the place. Um, everything seems to be kind of messed up inside. There's nothing really safe. Uh, barring one fireplace kind of off to the side.

Um, and then that's pretty much it for what looks like uh you deduce basically with your knowledge and everything that homeless people have been camping out and kind of living in here for a while.

So I would like to spot hidden both. I'm gonna do two, one in general, and I then I also kind of want to just investigate the fireplace, like how recently it was the last embers. Perfect. So first one is an 87 for the regular, the general spot hidden. Yep. So nothing great for the fire. Um 53. I gave you a 55. Yeah, so it passes nice okay. That's an investigator.

Um, you do notice that there is a very nice kind of family crest over the fireplace, and this doesn't seem tarnished whatsoever. Like this thing was built to last, and it's of an all Alchemist holding up a scale in one hand and a vial in the other. And then it looks like it's been rubbed clean in some way, but that's all you really get from your spot.

The crest has been rubbed clean?

Yeah.

Okay. Alright. Interesting. Can I like use like a tool to like pop it off?

Kind of like you can uh try to fiddle with it and stuff. Yeah, I'd like to do that.

I have like an adventure knife. Yeah, yeah. Um, whatever. A uh what do they call them? I don't know. Anyway. Uh what, a mechanical repair for removing something? I think so.

Or yeah, that works for me. No, that's fair. Okay. You shimmy with it, and it seems like it is stuck in there. It's not really doing much of anything. Okay.

I'll uh take a page of my diary. I'm not gonna rip it out. I'm just gonna like loosen the page so it's like sing like and then put it over and do the sketchover. Yeah, I love it. Perfect.

You nailed it. You've done it a million times. Your hands are just like art. It's going so smooth right now. So smooth.

So smooth. Um okay. Uh well, then since I didn't see anything else in here aside from just kind of a mess, uh, what about any kind of footprints going out of here into another direction?

Roll one more spot hidden check for me. Or if you want to do survival or nature. How about a nine? Jinkies. Now uh that you've kind of got your bearings inside this little cottage, you do notice that there are uh blood patterns kind of just strewn all across inside the floor of this, but you're like, I don't know what homeless people do. Maybe they just drop blood.

But it seems like I feel like maybe my guy doesn't jump to that conclusion, but um well, okay, that's fine.

And then and then uh you do notice that as far as you mentioned specifically the the footprints and everything, everything seems to kind of be leading into this cabin.

Okay. Um but when you say this cabin, a different one or the one we're in?

Yeah, this cottage, this this one we're in, yeah.

Okay.

Like all the foot traffic kind of just all leads to this one point.

Okay. Um you know, I'm gonna keep pushing. I I just feel like there's more going on here, right? So I want to like lift up carpets. Okay. Like I'm I'm [expletive] trapdoor [expletive] now. Okay. Um I'll take two points to make that of sanity to make that work.

Okay. So as you're rifling through more stuff, um, there is a journal that you have found from one of the homeless people that got left behind. And inside it's very hard to read, like they're not very legible. Um, they kind of just sound words out, they don't know how to spell words properly and everything. But there is a sketch of the creature that um Mr. Felix Christofferson mentioned, and it describes it to a T. Like he's actually a decent artist, this homeless vagabond.

Very intriguing, very intriguing indeed. Um, I'll take take out that sketch, rip it out, add it to my journal. Um, and then I think I'll call it quit, so I'll head out of here. Okay, perfect. Um, anything else to investigate on this small island? Um, if I look around.

Uh basically, uh, you've actually been out here before and walked this path, but for some reason you never ventured into the middle because it's so small of an island. Like, what's the point? Yeah. Kind of deal. So along the whole outer edge of the normal walkway, there's really nothing else to notice.

Like, you know, no like major uh like icon, no like rocks, no like giant rocks, no um like like Taurus spots or anything.

No, nothing like that, really. Okay, it's kind of just blah.

All right. Um, I'll do one quick lap, see if anything comes up, and then I start walking back. Okay, perfect. Collected what I've needed. Yep, perfect.

Uh, what's your next move from here? So you have a little bit of information about the island, but not all the information.

Yeah, I think I need to go back and then maybe now I have like contacts in the in the you know private investigator business. So maybe look into that.

Okay. So um you go back, set up back in your office, and then uh you do actually have a personal library in your office, and I'm not gonna make you roll for that. Um, there is one book in particular on the island itself, if you wanted to like go through that.

Yeah, absolutely. And especially that whole like crest thing seems very odd to me. Like that doesn't seem that seems very out of place. Right. Um, so anything I can like tie into that and the history of the island.

So um, what you do know from the island itself is that it was built in about 1630-ish, let's say.

Sure.

Yeah. So before like uh things were independent and everything, and it was built by like a Gaul, like not a tribe, but like a Gaul settlement was here originally in Arkham kind of deal. And they kind of had this whole setup. A Gaul settlement? What's that? So it'd be like uh the old Germans, like the the Hessians or whatever, got it. Right? Hessians? Hessians, something like that. Okay, Hessians, yeah. Hessians, whatever. Got it. And then uh that pretty much is all it says is that it's been here since the foundation of Arkham.

Interesting. I always thought it was just kind of like a touristy thing. Um didn't didn't factor then at all. Um, but that didn't give me a lot of information. Right. So what else do I have available to me?

Um as far as your list of contacts, um really think of anything and we'll try to wing something.

Like, really, I I guess um dude, does alchemy, did that image really strike me as alchemy? Like the the kind of roll four.

Uh what do we think we'd roll? Not really a call, but like you can even do a general knowledge role if you want, or an education. Yeah, some knowledge or education role to see if that really strikes you. Yeah.

Four out of a hundred.

I'm rolling great.

That doesn't sound like it, but I am.

Yep, absolutely. You know exactly that that was an all-chemical symbol crest of some kind, but you're not sure what family or person to associate it to.

So is there like I mean, even like an apothecary or like anything, anything that would maybe like have all chemical like type research.

Yeah, I'm gonna say in town there is like uh it's not the library, but I'm gonna say there's like an old like bookstore that kind of has like occult type stuff or stuff from before the war. Yeah, yeah. Kind of things linked to that that they specialize in.

Maybe they're more collectibles than actual, like taken seriously literature, but yeah, let's let's go there.

Okay. Uh you make it there, no problem, same day and everything. And um you walk in and there is a nice elderly woman waiting there, and you know her personally from your dealings with this kind of stuff, the being that you do want to like make a book and it has like some things that you found on your adventures or whatever, and her name is gonna be Ethel. Yeah, that's what I decided right now. Her name is gonna be Ethel.

It's the best name in the whole campaign so far.

Well, greetings. How are you there, Barty?

Your old woman sounds just like your old man. Oh, good, Ethel, good. Good to see you alive and well.

Oh yes, alive and kicking I am. My bones hurt.

Yes, yes, I'm feeling that way too these days. Uh listen, I I have a pretty fascinating one for you. I think you might be pretty excited today.

Oh, I'm excited as soon as you walked in that door with those bright rosy cheeks of yours.

Oh, you make him blush, Ethel.

Oh.

Alright, take a look. Take a look at this. And I like slam the uh sketch, the etching of the uh Hold on, let me get my bifocals. And they're like thick.

Yeah, they're really bad.

They're thick and they have like things to like like almost like the gem thing. Yeah, the zoomers like for the gems.

Oh, I have seen something like this before. It's uh hot dog, no way.

It's an alchemist symbol of some uh family crest of some sort. That's what I was thinking. But what family? Oh, do you know the origins? Is it local or foreign, maybe from the Orient?

Well, I suspect it maybe dates back to uh something like 1630s. Uh, but I don't know anything beyond that.

Oh, that helps me a little bit. Sit here. I'm gonna go look in the back for a little bit. Am I?

Angel from heaven.

Oh, I can't wait till I go to heaven.

Oh, uh, a little longer.

And then she kind of mopes in the back. And uh, she's back there for a little bit. You hear rummaging and like glasses clinking for some reason. It's supposed to be a bookstore. She's probably drinking alcohol back there, who knows? And then uh a little bit later she comes out.

I think I found it there, Barty.

Oh, no way.

I think so.

You are too good. And she uh pulls out this old book. Um, are you gonna pay me for my services?

I don't do this kind of stuff for free, you know.

Of course, my dear, of course. You take check.

Of course I don't. Cash only.

What am I a sucker?

You've known me longer than that.

Oh, I thought it was worth a try.

All right. Uh she kind of holds out her palms. Oh. Right a second? Yes. Yes. Okay. Who knows how much longer I could be alive, buddy? How much? Two dollars. Holy moly. I know, I know, but I have the book and you don't, and you want this information.

So beggars can't be choosers, and you're my friend.

I'll tell you what, keep the change and I'll give her three.

Ooh, perfect. Okay. Now, what I found here is that it seems to be from an old maybe German family.

Hessian.

Yes, exactly. It could be. Yes, that's a big word. Now, it says here, based on brands and whatnot, that this was a worker who worked for Charles the Eleventh, the king of Sweden. Well, yes, I'm familiar with the history, yes. Yes. Um what was he doing here? Well, as a retirement project, I guess. It does says he created an island.

Here the island, like the Arkham Lake Island. It had an original name here. Um yes. It's a name of it.

That costs extra, I'm sure.

Yes, it would cost you about 50 cents to get that name. But as you can see here, she flips her book around and then uh there is a picture of the crest, not from the fireplace like you're you're drawing, but it is actual picture of the family crest and a uh basically like an oil portrait or whatever of the alchemist himself, uh Johan Kunkel.

And what happened to this man? Is there any like kind of history there?

No, not really. He got really into dark stuff, and that's why he kind of had to flee Europe and come here.

Dark stuff. Dark stuff. Even for an alchemist, really dark stuff.

What do you know about alchemy?

Sits rubbing her index and thumb finger together.

Oh, you pinch it. I know whatever you can afford, body, my friend. I'm gonna throw down like a five-dollar bill. I know a lot about alchemy. Now, this man, he invented some actual useful things such as I don't [expletive] know, artificial rubies and phosphorus.

Wow.

That's why he's noteworthy and in a book, I guess. But he was too young to really retire, but since he fleed, he came and lived on the island, I'm sure, and then that's where he stayed, and there's no other information about it.

All right, well, that was a pretty in-depth uh amount of information. I aim to please you. Yes, absolutely. I'm definitely please you, all right. All right, no. Well, time to go.

I'm getting lonely in this bookshop. You know, my husband does.

I'm gonna grab my sketch.

Come back anytime, body.

I will.

All right, bring money. Thank you.

Yeah.

Wait, body, before you go.

Yes, Ethel. You look good today.

Go to bed. All right. And then Ethel kind of lumpers up, and then she's like, wait a second, it's [expletive] in the afternoon. Why am I going to bed? I got a bookstore to run.

Someone checks in. Oh, hello. Um, okay, so yeah, my uh man Barty Peppen, he is uh he's fascinating. So he uh goes and sits on a bench in like the closest nearby area, and now he's like journaling away like like this couldn't be like somebody. I've been years since I've any had any real discovery of information or history, and like, oh, and little old Arkham, like here, phosphorus. Well, you know, so what a fascinating story. But but there's not much on that island, like where you know, what there should be a much lot for someone who spent the rest of his life there, there should be far more like like structures or items. Like something's not right, something's missing.

I'm gonna say uh she gave you the book, and then as you're going over it and you're looking at your sketch, kind of mulling these things over, as opposed to the actual family crest, you do notice that the arms themselves are reversed, kind of like the sket in your sketch on the actual fireplace, the scales are up and the little alchemist beaker is down, but on the actual family crest, they are flip-flopped.

Okay. I'm going to uh you tell me the closest convenient place to find a mirror.

Um, like uh, I'm gonna say there's a any glass business that's nearby, like you're around a bunch of businesses. So if you want to see like a glass of a reflection or something, yeah.

I'll go into like some kind of glass business. Maybe it's like uh or maybe can we say like it's like an antique shop, a 1920 shop, and uh it's got some like old mirror in it. I kind of like go into the corner and I like flash the the like button like in the mirror and uh mainly haven't uh all that really happened is the it's just a reverse. It's a reverse, okay. All right, hmm, but the arms are still unequivocal. Um okay. Um think think party, think.

Uh use a uh what's an idea intelligence check. Yeah. For the DM to give you an idea, which you can actually use at home if you want. That's not good. I'm gonna push it. Okay, he's gonna push it. How does a 50 on the dot? On the dot. Yeah, you nailed it. So um you noticed that everything looked clean when you were doing your sketching on it, but you were trying to pry at the really the base of it to see if the item could pop out, but you never tried moving any of the intricate parts of the family crest.

Got it, got it. Okay. Uh yeah, so I'm like, all right, um maybe maybe it's time to go back to the island. Um, so yeah, I'll grab all my stuff, pack it up, leave the antique shop awkwardly without buying anything. Hey there, where are you going?

Good to have you. It's a thief, get him. I didn't steal anything. Oh, okay. You have a good day then.

Uh and I'm going to kind of hurry, hurry down that that boardwalk. Um, I'm excited. Uh Barty Pepin is excited about a like knowledge adventure. It's been he's been like in pursuit of this his whole life, and he's he's retiring now and he's looking for something stable, but he still misses the the chase. And uh so this is this is very hasn't had this much uh blood pumping in a long time. Okay. Um give me a dexterity check. I thought you were gonna do it when I was journaling. Um that's a fail. Ooh.

By like a lot. Oh, okay. So as you're running towards the bridge to take you back to the island, you uh trip over a loose cobblestone and uh take one point of damage. Okay, thank you for that. And you kind of do like the the Peter Griffin, like hold your spin, like you're still pretty excited, so you hop back up and now you're kind of like hobbling a little bit. Yep. That didn't keep me down. Nope. Not another dex roll. You get to the the bridge and it's now uh barricaded off, and there's a police officer. What? Officer. Officer. Yes. What's going on? Oh, nothing to see here.

I was no, something to see here. I saw it earlier, actually.

What's stand aside, citizen? There hasn't been any kind of animal attack here lately. There's nothing to see here.

Let me guess. Do you look like this? And I show the drawing from my that I ripped out from the cottage.

How do you know? What do you know? Are you the creature? Are you behind these attacks? No, absolutely.

Do I need to call for backup? I saw this this this monster the other day. I'm the uh well, I'm the special uh investigative uh person they brought on the case. Roll to fast talker charm me. Uh that was a five out of a hundred, dude.

Yep. Whoa, whoa, I'm sorry I got in your way then, sir. Special investigative person, come right this way. Uh he moves the barricade out of your way. Uh just be safe in there, alright? Sounds like there's been another attack here recently. Yeah, my first exploration. Oh, I believe you. I'm sorry for ever doubting you, sir.

I said that to myself, but thank you.

No, no problem. Do you mean to follow you in there or anything like that?

No, no, no.

What are you actually doing in there? You need any help or anything?

Yeah, no, just uh official business.

Oh no, the journal you got there?

Good work there.

Oh, alright, okay. I'll stand by. Take care.

Okay.

Bye.

Yeah.

He's lonely. I'm gonna leave him. Okay, he's gone. He's we're knowing. Uh you make your way uh uh back to the the cottage, no problem. Uh roll another spot hidden for me. Uh yeah. Yeah. Oh, you nail it. It looks like a fresh trail of blood almost is leading back into the cottage.

Dropping like hot cakes. Hmm. Well, it's already barricaded. I'm sure there's no harm in uh me coming back in. Yeah, I'm gonna like I'm gonna stealth. Okay. Uh holy [expletive].

Yes. Nate is rolling on fire today. That's crazy. I'm competent. I'm competent.

Compared to the last game, compared to the last game. Except at sports. I was like a super great athlete, but not a great investigative journalist. Barty's good. Yes. Barty Peppin. I didn't even have to pass the battery. Remember the name. Remember the name.

So yeah, you are stealthed, and uh you make your away stealthily into the cottage. And how do you stealth foot into a cottage? That's like I don't know, but you did it successfully. Yeah.

Like a shadow. Dr. Peppin. Shadow. They might as well call me Dr. Dr. Peppin. Kill me.

And um, as you get closer, you do notice that it looks like something has almost been drug like finger marks into the mouth of the fireplace.

Okay. Um I'm going to take back out uh the book and look at the family crest. And then I'm gonna look up at the other crest and I'm going to ever so slightly adjust one of the arms.

Okay. And uh as you do, uh, which one are you moving? The scales or the beaker?

The scales.

The scales? Okay. So as you adjust the scales, they start sliding down, and then you kind of hear a lock in the place.

I get a grin. I'm like, I'm literally excited. And I'm like, I wonder if I should go get that officer before proceeding onward. Nope.

Did you need something, fam? He's not there.

Okay.

Okay, and you move the other arm and it slides upward, locks into place, and then you can see like a shift in the back wall of the fireplace itself. It kind of sucks in and then down a little bit. It's still kind of stuck right in there, but it definitely made a move and kind of unlocked.

Okay. So I wanna crouch down and uh can I like push it the rest of the way?

Yeah, strength.

Oh, buty Peppin'. Uh not a nice fit to shape as you used to be.

Uh, you can push on it and you know that it does have some kind of give, but it's just not going right now. Uh oh yeah. That's a 28. Okay, perfect. Uh, you push down and successfully push all the way down to the ground, and it opens up into like a crawl space that goes straight down to a staircase. And that's all you can see.

Yeah.

Um, do you have anything on your person for light or anything like that?

Oh, good question. Um, I mean I'm an explorer, but I've been living in a city, in a metropolitan. You've grown soft in your own. Yeah, just a cigarette. Like a light up. Yeah. [expletive] yeah. Yeah.

That's what Barty Pippin would do. All right. You light up your cigarette and uh you kind of leave your lighter out a little bit too, uh, guiding you. And it is a spiral staircase that's leading straight down what looks like some kind of subterranean layer or something going down here, from what you can tell.

Wow. I'm uh going very carefully. Um I know the dangers in all my years of exploring. I know that this any of this could just topple. So I'm like almost like holding on to the wall as I go down. Um, but can I like analyze any markings on the wall? Any anything?

Um, you're not seeing anything on the staircase itself, but as you are working your way down, and I'm gonna say with that stealth rule, you're still rolling, you're still going pretty stealthy. Um, you are seeing some light now coming down from the base level of the bottom of the spiral staircase.

Like man-made light, like some kind of like holy light. Am I like bright white light or like candle light kind of deal? Yes. Yes. Ooh, this is just giving me shivers. Like, I know I'm not saying this out loud. I'm he's thinking this, but he's like, uh I know something dangerous is down there, but dangerous my middle name. Give me a dex roll. You can have me cheer down this whole spiral stairs. You bees of [expletive].

It's yeah, you're gonna have to shoot down the spirit. Um, you lose your footing for one step. But I'm gonna say you're able to catch yourself.

Does it make a noise though?

Yeah, I'm gonna say you do kick off some like loose debris that's been on these stairs and it kind of falls. So basically you've lost your stealth. Okay.

Wow. Alright, keep it together, buddy. Keep it together. I don't know why I was rolling. Yeah, I'm just gonna keep going. Okay.

Keep going down the stairs.

Steady space, yeah.

And then um you make your way to the very bottom of the stairs, and as you're looking around, this is a laboratory of some kind. Now, a lot of the alchemist stuff looks familiar from the book that um Ethel gave you. And there's also some other stuff. Roll, if you would know anything about a cult or anything like that, would you know? Would you character know?

A cult? Um, I've seen weird things, but it's not like aliens, no, but like some kind of like like voodoo, yes. Like stuff like that. Um dang, yeah.

That's fine. Okay. Um, you do know enough that this isn't just science that is being mixed down here, it is also something like dark magic kind of deal around here based on symbols that you're seeing. Where is that light in in comparison to this? So now you're you're down at the very base right now, and you kind of be came or are into the entrance of the laboratory. And the laboratory actually stretches back quite some distance, and there are candles now lit all along the sides.

I'm gonna say of like this just big box room, and then that just extends further down, and then as you're going in, you can see the symbols and stuff on the wall wall, and it looks like full metal alchemist writing and [expletive] with a circle and triangles and [expletive] symbols and [expletive] going on. And you do give me a just give me a listen.

Listen.

No, no, you don't, you're old. Yeah, you don't hear anything. Got it. Okay. Um, I'm going to look our especially the weird dark stuff you mentioned. I want to try to like grab uh a couple small books or pages out and like tear them out and like put them in my books in my journal um or my backpack.

I'm gonna say you successfully do that.

Okay. No problem. So I'm a little distracted right now. I'm trying to grab some of the rare items that I think are in this collection. Okay.

And with that, you hear, you do hear this time a kind of noise coming from a table kind of a little ways down from you, not all the way down at the end, but maybe almost a quarter of the way down the full length of this room.

Are like the books on like it can on the bookcase, can I like get on either side of it? Like if I put one book and then the book behind it, can I like look through like the bookcase? Like something try to do something like that. You want me to roll stealth for that to do that?

No, I'm just gonna say you can do that right now.

So I'm gonna try to do that. Try to like clear the books, like a space where I can kind of glance down a little bit.

And peer like at an angle at it. Yeah, perfect. Uh, you notice that there is something on what looks like a stone slab table of some kind, but it has something draped over the top of it, maybe some oriental silk or something. Let it go, Nanny. Good lord. Oh, it has something draped over the top of it and it's kind of like moving around and like muffled a little bit.

In pain? Does it look like like twitchy or give me a nature check for that if you want to see? Yeah, it has a 14.

Golly ge, man. Yeah, it looks like an animal hurting underneath a sheet.

My god.

All right. I have seen it a thousand. I have what I need. I'm gonna try to quickly um make my way out.

Oh, make your way back out? Yeah. Okay. Um roll now, roll stealth for me.

Why? Um because of 58. Um, it does not.

Okay. So after seeing this, you're kind of in a little bit of a hustle, and you do knock over some of the books on the bookshelf on your way out. And then like a domino effect.

Like who goes there? I just stay dead. I don't move, but I don't speak. Okay. And now you hear kind of like so it sounds like heavy.

Yeah, yeah, it's real heavy, but it sounded at first like it was walking on two, and then it almost had a gallop to it. Uh-huh. Like it'll move to all fours after that.

Uh, I'm gonna turn around and look behind me.

Uh what do you see? You see the creature itself. So probably around it's looks like the height of a man. So he's like six foot tall-ish, but he's now crawling on all fours, and he has pieces of red glass that look like they've replaced body parts on him, and his eyes are completely glassed red, but everything else looks like it's kind of falling apart and decaying.

What um what was the name of that gentleman? Uh, that would the Hessian uh gentleman.

Uh his name was Johan Kunkel.

Okay.

Uh Johan. Yes. Like the creature just stops dead in his tracks and is like peering at you now. I'm gonna say he's like kind of almost to the distance where the thing on the table was, like trying to look at you. Like that's how quick he is.

Johan, how long have you been down here? Centuries, it seems. Who are you? What do you know? What do you know about my work?

Oh, much about your work. You are uh a celebrity above. Fast talk. You gotta do a fast talk. Uh no. Nothing? No. Push? Luck? Um, not with a 62. Um oh my goodness. Uh no. Uh I'm just gonna say it's not very believable, but I'm gonna mention uh what was that King's name? Um Alexander. You said Charles the 11th. Charles the 11th. Yeah, he says uh ever since you're walking Charles the 11th, and then here in Occam. Um what is Archham? Never mind. Okay. This is amazing what you built down here. Yeah, the world must know.

It's been so long since I've seen another alchemist like myself, please.

And then he like kind of unfolds and unhinges, and you hear like glass cracking as his forearms are moving, and he's like waving you to him, but still like on all fours, like very disturbing. You know, give me a sanity roll.

Yeah, just seeing that.

Yeah.

Uh okay.

What uh your sanity is at a 40 right now.

Can you grab that for me? In the meantime, it is a 50. I can tell you it passes, honestly. Well, sorry, folks. Sorry. Okay. Got a little scared with the dice here. 53, which is oh wait, that's a fail. Ooh. Because I have 40. And I use yeah. Yep. Um, so you lose just one.

Just one, yeah.

Alright, a little disturbing. Um, but I am gonna I am gonna push forward.

You're gonna try to leave or you're pushing.

No, I'm gonna I'm gonna go. Ooh, and follow him? Follow him, yes. Okay, perfect.

Uh, as you're following him down.

Yeah, it's been some time that I've been asleep.

Vinny, is that you? I'm sorry. Okay, focus. Now, here we go. God damn it, Nate, you [expletive] me up.

I tried not to even make eye contact with you because I knew you get all sensitive.

Now, okay. Focus, Nate. Focus. Okay. It's been a long time since anybody else has seen my work.

Please come.

And then, like, as you're walking along, there are dead bodies hanging from the walls of these things. That's a sanity roll.

Just so you would see that. Okay, that one I put.

Oh, that's a super pass. You've seen worse things on your adventures. And then also uh animal parts, and everything is dead and decaying. But it seems though this red glass that he has managed to manifest is kind of like keeping it together kind of deal.

Almost like what Barty's not doing right now, keeping it together.

You like almost like uh on Zoolander, you know, the guy who got his hand in the glass case. Yeah, yeah, it's like that. Okay, sure. Okay, and then uh he's venturing you down, and he basically explains to you that he was awoken by some homeless vagabonds, and basically he's wearing one of them as a suit right now because I'm not gonna voice him anymore. Yeah, that's fine. And then the work that he's doing, it seems like he's been down here for a long time working this [expletive] out, but he can preserve life with this red [expletive] that he's got going on.

Uh, I'm going to give a super, I mean, like, it's definitely I I'm gonna say not convincing, but I'm gonna give like a like a slow clap, and then be like, this is this is beyond amazing. You could you could change the world with this Johan. You really mean it? Why does Johan remind me of like Wheeler with like with his tongue cut out? Um yes, this is I I've seen many things in travels in the world, Johan, in my age, my time, maybe some things you've never seen, but this this takes the cake. I need I need more though. I need more. What can I get you? Yes, anything you need for your studies. Just a body. I can get you one. There's a security guard upstairs. Let me go.

I turn and like start like now you start running and he's gonna give chase.

So go ahead and give me like a dodge roll. Okay. Or a dex to try to, yeah. Or a track and field if you want.

To try to get the [expletive] out of there. What's the best one? Still kind of Dex. Uh oh, yeah, I'll take one point of luck to make that Dex pass.

Okay, perfect. He goes and like tries to swipe at you. And now you notice that like the red glass kind of like extends out, and now everything he has is like elongated. So like his arms are now. It's like a go-go gadget, like [expletive]. But now it kind of locks into place. Yeah. So now his arms are double their length and his legs are double their length, but the the length of his torso is still the same. So it's almost like a weird spider-looking thing coming at you.

He's coming at me, huh?

Yeah, he did miss with that one.

Alright, I want you quickly wrap like left or right around like a bookcase and try to push it down.

Ooh, give me just a strength.

Come on, buddy. I'm gonna push it because I was a 96 out of 100. That is four points off of the orse roll if possible. Yep. Um, then a 92. Okay, I'm not pushing. I tried to push. I was rolling so good. Wouldn't that have been bomb though? If I [expletive] like, because I'm he's made a glass. I'm guessing that that [expletive]'s not super durable. Right.

So you actually go and push on the bookcase, and some of the books fall out, but then as you look up, you see that he's staring at you with just his arm holding back the bookcase. Terrifying. Yeah.

Um where do you think you're going?

I need you. His voice is starting to crack now and everything. I still have is my cigarette still lit? I'm gonna say yes this whole time. I'm gonna take it out, like open one of his books, cram it in there, and then Barty, can we talk about this? Uh not Barty. Uh your Barty. Johan. Johan, listen. You need an assistant. Look at you, look at you. You can you can get you can get away with this down here, but up there, you need somebody to do your work. I can get you more bodies, Johan. And I'm hoping like that, like book is gonna like ignite or something.

I'm gonna say, yeah, you can see it smoldering and starting to like get hot now in your hand.

Johan, like you can't go. I know you've you've made great progress, but now you stand out even more. Like you need uh somebody on the inside and I can do that for you, Johan.

He's just staring at you and then he like kind of like head turks, turks, twerks, and then no, I want you. And then he like starts reaching with the other hand now, like through the bookcase, trying to catch you.

Um dude, uh so is part of it kind of been covered in that glass, like how much.

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna say just his hands, which are now like rotting zombie flesh hands, and then behind that, the wrist back, everything else is pretty much glass all the way up.

I want to take one of the like thicker books, like just grab it from the shelf, like one that I can still hold with like one hand easily, and just try to like smash the like glass part of his arm.

Okay, perfect. Give me a strength. Um, or if you want to make an unarmed strike with the well, it wouldn't be unarmed, but if you want to make an attack roll with the ball. The strength roll is actually pretty good. So let's start with that. Okay, so yeah, you are able to smash basically into the red glass of his arm, and it actually shot off sparks a little bit, like a chemical reaction of the glass breaking shot off sparks, and now like some of the bottom layer of books are almost catching a blaze now from this uh all chemical fire that is now created. And then he's like, you know.

Yeah, um, well, that's not all I got my sleeve. So I'm gonna take out my 36 bolt actually. It'd be a 30-0-6. Thank you. You're welcome. Weapons. Yes. Uh, I'm gonna take that out now, and I'm gonna shoot like keep going for that arm. Okay.

Just kind of so uh the 30-6 is a large uh caliber rifle. And because you're an adventurer, I'm gonna say you always keep it on you, especially in this situation. Yeah, I'm gonna say why not. Uh or you have a pistol. Let's use the root pistol.

I have a 44 mag revolver. Okay.

Um, so you uh let's go with that, sorry. Okay, so you have like a nice little holster or whatever from the 20s, and you pull that out, and it's a large caliber again for a handgun and aim to shoot.

Yeah. I saw I'd only use this on the beasts, but well, today's the day. And uh yeah, I'm gonna what is aim to shoot?

It would be your your firearm, so you're gonna need handgun 60 would be what you're looking for. Yeah. Uh I'm gonna take four luck. Perfect. Um, you aim at the same point that broke, and then you fire. How much damage do you do for that?

Uh it's gonna be uh 1D ten, which is an eight plus one D4.

That's gonna be ten plus two.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that's perfect. I'm gonna say that it actually breaks through and his arm completely falls off behind the bookcase, the one he's trying to grab you at. You shot it right in the weak spot. And now it created a large chain reaction from this glass breaking. And now the entire bookcase itself is like instantly almost like a napalm grenade went off, and he is just screaming, drowning.

I'm gonna try one more time. Even though my strength checks didn't go well, I'm maybe hoping that the bookcase is destabilized a little bit from some of the burning. I'm gonna try to kick it, like kind of like push myself up against maybe like a wall and then like kick. Okay, kick the bookcase down. 92, not happening still.

Okay, um, he's still flailing about, and then now he is going to uh roll to attack you. Uh 67. So I'm gonna need you just to roll to dodge and see if it beats my regular pass. Uh oh, close. I'll take three more luck. Oh, so okay. So I use luck on a dodge? Yes. Yep. So you succeed uh by beating my regular pass. So I go to swing at you wildly with my other hand and you dodge completely out of the way unharmed. But now the bookcase itself is on fire, and uh flames have fanned over, and it seems like anything made of the red glass is kind of igniting right now.

So all the bodies that are on tables or lined up on the walls that he's done doing experiments on and everything like that, everything is becoming ablaze right now.

Does he seem like kind of incapacitated? Like is he? He is freaking the [expletive] out. Yeah, um, I'm gonna try to run back and unleash the dog.

Yeah. Okay. Uh what do you want to roll for that? Um, Dex track and field for the running, or I'll do track and field.

Yeah, I am booking it. Okay.

No. You're old. I'm old. Okay. It's not a fast run. You're able to get there, but he does see you kind of making a beeline for the dog that's been moving around.

Yep. And uh maybe I don't know what mechanical engineering was trying to like undo the like tarp.

Yeah, it's just a leather strap kind of chained over his stomach. Yeah. And go for it. Yep, go for it. Uh that's fine. Uh roll for I'm gonna say just give me a dex versus his uh swipe at you again. Personality kind of sees you. 36. Yeah, you're fine. Okay, you're able to free the dog, and now the dog is up and this glass dog, it does have pieces of- Oh, he's glass. Yes, he does have pieces of glass body that you notice on inspection on releasing him and getting the sheet off of him and everything. And it is a poodle. It's poopsie. Go, poopsie, go. And poopsie makes a jump right at um whatever his name is, Kunkel. And now they're kind of fighting and going at it.

And anytime a piece of glass breaks, like a shot of fire comes out now because of the reaction. It's almost like a flamethrower, being like, no, no, poopsie, run, run, poopsie. I set you free. Um, what do we have? Give me a survival check because it is getting super smoky in this laboratory now.

Um, well, that was horrible, but I'm gonna push it because I am a survival uh explorer, and I've dealt with weird situations. Yeah, I pushed it.

Oh, yeah, you're fine. Uh, you do notice that it is getting smoky, and before I like rip something off and cover up my face or that kind of thing. And you're ducking low now beneath the smoke. But this whole place is catching on fire. Yeah, okay.

So I'm gonna try to haul us out of here. I tried to free the dog, I did what I could. Yep. Poopsy makes it, it's on him.

Okay. I'm gonna say you made it to the stairs successfully because poopsie and the Dr. Kunkel are fighting it out right now, currently, and there are screams of monster, fires going everywhere, and just give me one more Dex roll to make it up that spiral staircase. Yeah, I don't, I can't do that much luck. Uh let me push it though. Yeah, you can push it. God, you pushed it hard, folks. It is a that's a 20?

23. Oh, which does pass.

Yep, that's a perfect pass. So you are you do uh lose your footing a little bit, but you are able to push through. Oh my god, with your adventure uh ability, and you manage to make it outside. You crawl out, smoke all over you, you're covered in soot from all the flames, and you kind of like glance behind you, and it just looks like the fireplace has a nice little smoke coming out of it. Like, oh, very comforting.

Officer, officer.

Oh, yes, they're friend, you acquire my assistance now.

There's a fire. It's just a fireplace.

No. I'm gonna like just be limping towards him.

Okay. Oh, I'll get you assistance. You sit tight.

No, let's keep walking.

Alright, and then he kind of like does that thing where you throw your arm over his shoulder and he's carrying you out in the distance. Yeah. Could I uh beg of you to limp faster?

Alright, I'll go, I'll give him my best shot.

He's like really working at it. Like looking back over my like self at the island.

So what are you doing in there besides starting fires? You have a permit for that fire? I know you're a special investigator and everything.

Uh listen, I'm I'm sorry. Obviously, maybe there were some uh uh misconceptions and some deception of hoot, but well there's uh basically two 300-year-old archaeologists or uh sorry, uh Alchemic. Alchemist, yeah, alchemist. There's a 300-year-old alchemist from Sweden who uh basically glass, red gems, phosphorus, uh sucking in the dead and using their body as like um like a like a glove.

Alright, fair enough, fair enough.

Yeah.

Um he looks over, he kind of drug you out to the street already, and he looks over to another officer that's now pulled up because of the fire coming up.

He's like, Oh, we got a live one over here, we got a code yellow.

What's code yellow?

Oh, don't you worry about that, friend. Just sit back and relax. No, look, look, look, look here in the book. Look, darkness.

Take out one of those like dark books or one of those like dark alchemy books.

As you like pull out, he like grabs your wrist and like handcuffs it and then he puts it back behind your hand. No, no, you have to believe me. You have to believe me. Hundreds of years old, hundreds of them sweden. Sure, I believe you. Yes, code yellow, yep. And then uh they're on the horn with it, and then an ambulance comes up to get you. Yes, poopsy, yes, yes, red glass. There you go. Yep, you're gonna be okay.

It is red glass, little limp. Yeah, you're gonna be just fine. He's like doing the noises.

You're gonna be just fine. Roll another sanity just for right now.

Uh no, it's fail.

Fail? Yeah. Okay, you lose two more points of sanity now. Uh, you're not quite understanding why they're not believing you and they're lifting you up and throwing you in the back of the ambulance, and that is taking you to the asylum.

The Arkham Asylum? Yes. Not to be confused with Batman. The Arkham Asylum.

And then now you're gonna meet Batman.

Where's Popsie? Where'd you do with poopsie? The poodle.

Where is he? That was dark. I like that. I thought I was dead numerous times.

I thought so too.

Is that the picture?

Uh yes.

That's cool. That's really cool looking. I wish we could show. If you have, I'll put a picture on our Patreon if you're a patron. Uh pretty cool illustration from this book of what I was actually fighting. Really terrifying.

And that again comes out of the Berlin book from the Case Chaossium people for Call of Cthulhu. If you're interested, the actual main story is a great story if you want to do Call of Cthulhu with your friends. Obviously, you need a bigger party and friends. Yep, and friends. But what we're doing here are actually just the side quests out of this main book.

So that's delightful. Um, yeah, it was another great adventure. Um, probably the most linear of anything we've ever done. Not bad. Right. I'll take it. Some great roles, some bad roles, but mostly great roles, I would say.

It's tough to uh to because the side quest gives you so much. So I'm like, what are situations that I can put Nate in where there's gonna be an NPC or something? And a lot of this game is you just trying to go and investigate, and that's like the ups and downs versus like a DD where you can just throw NPC anywhere.

And let's be real, Nate. Like you and I don't have four hours to just go all the different routes, and then I edit it down to something coherent. Like, we don't got that kind of time, so this is what you get.

Um it's still fun though. I still had fun.

I had a boss. Let's talk about the fact that I need a little tray to roll my dice in.

Yes, you got a little excited.

Uh sorry for all listeners. I multiple times repeatedly drop my dice. Um, these things happen. These things happen. Yeah, these things happen. I'm just uh that's how excited I was, to be totally honest. That's how excited I was about rolling the dice. There was some a lot of fun there going on. I believe it. So thank you so much for listening. And we uh I guess I'm gonna have to like promote ourselves and all that.

Check out all the socials.

Yeah, leave us a review if you're on Apple Podcasts, Podme, all that other fun stuff. Uh also, if you could do one thing for us, it's share just your favorite episode, especially if you're brand new. Share an episode so somebody else can discover and listen to the show. Um, we're really excited. We keep talking about season two. It's coming. It's coming. Patrons in the month of November. There'll be a special episode, uh, the sneak peek look into what's coming season two, and we'll share some of that. And I think that's about it for next week, Nate. What do you got?

Yeah. That's about it. Sign up for the Patreon. It's only difficult for one person.

Oh, yes. That's right. I have to thank our newest patron, uh, Nick. Um, though, ironically, I think we'll have to actually create an OnlyFans because Nick is apparently cursed and cannot anytime he tries to do anything like basic functionality of that website, it like rejects his cards. It basically uh Machines are taking over. He becomes a patron, and then yeah, he gets basically garble texts and smiley emotes when he tries to like use any of our content. So uh so we'll create an OnlyFans that has no sexual content, just exactly the same stuff as our Patreon, but for for Nick. And feet picks. That's how much here's for you, Nick. Thanks so much, and we'll talk to you next week. Thank you.