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Nat1 Presents: The Podcast / S1 · E26 · 45 MIN

PTSD&D | Arkham Asylum

Published · Explicit language & adult humor

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PRESS PLAYS1 · E26 · 45 MIN

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Episode notes.

In this episode of PTSD&D, Batman is called in as a subject matter expert to discuss some of the patients at Arkham Asylum, where he offers bizarrely unique insights for various patients including Bane, Poison Ivy, Penguin, Two-Face, Riddler and Joker. 

Edited audio transcript.

Edited from an automatic transcription of the original recording. Strong language is masked; selected personal asides and adult material are marked [Editorial omission.]. Transcription errors may remain, especially in names and lyrics. Timestamps come from the source; paragraphs split for readability can share a timestamp. The original recording contains adult language and themes. Announcements and offers reflect the recording date.

From 0:00

0:00

You're about to listen to the first experimental season of our show, formerly called Nat One Presents the Podcast. For better audio quality and our current ongoing DD campaign, skip ahead to season two featuring the Daft Monks.

0:14

On this episode of Nat One Presents, but then her professor kind of like charmed her and took advantage, and then naturally, you know, poisoned her. You see the ones who see no doubt.

0:26

Exactly. Adventure, heartwarming stories, role-playing that could only be seen by the gods. Here at Nat One Presents, you get all that and more. Now join us as we start another epic tale of con.

0:47

Just kidding. This is Nat One Presents, a tabletop role-playing game podcast that takes your favorite nerdy games and pop culture icons and ruins them with improv.

0:58

Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents the Podcast. Hey Nate. How's it going? It's going. Man, that horror episode was a doozy. It was a doozy. But what do we what do we want to talk about today? Not horror. Take a break.

1:15

I think we we can spread that out a little bit.

1:17

Yeah. It's depressing.

1:19

We need to move forward. We need to live our best life. What about what about anime? Ooh, I love anime. Yeah. Kind of like video games too, where I talk a lot about anime with Chris. I don't include you in the comments. I don't just assume you're too old or cool to watch this.

1:32

No, I love anime. Um top anime, scope. Top anime. Right now I'm really into My Hero Academia, but I also like Fairy Tale. Uh Sword Art Online is, I think, my favorite, even part two, and the little spin-off one Gun Gale Online. Um, what else do I really watch? Back in the day was uh Yeroni Kenshin and Yu Yu Hakasho. I love me some Yu Yu Haku Show, spear gun.

1:56

Bam. I want to go back and watch Yu Yu Hakashu because I only watched like random episodes on Adult Swim, never got to piece it. I did try watching the first episode and it was a little cringy a couple years ago, but I'm sure it's like anything else if we just give it a few more episodes.

2:08

And like right now, uh Black Clover, I like that.

2:11

Yeah, so we out of nowhere started Black Clover and David wanted to watch it. I don't tend to like his animes. He he watches some interesting ones. And uh at the beginning, I'm like, this is [expletive] stupid, and then super sold on it. Like we are almost all the way through what they have. It's kind of unfortunate because the they produced it on such a rapid schedule that them they now like have stopped making it, and it will be a long time before they make more episodes because the manga like right they caught up with the manga, and there's nothing else.

2:42

Dang it, kind of like Rick and Morty, like it takes [expletive] forever for a new season.

2:46

It's probably they were so like on point. A lot of animes get delayed pretty often, it's pretty common, and they were so on point of their like their spring and fall releases and stuff that they have nothing left. Because it's so good. Black Cover's good, it's really good. It apparently, though, where it stops at the current episodes, you don't get like total closure on the arc that it's on, and that's it.

3:04

Nah.

3:05

So yeah, but we're pretty far. Uh so yeah, super into Black Cover right now with with me and my husband. Um, I'm a big Shipputun fan. I love Samar Champloo. Oh, okay. Uh Guren Lagan.

3:17

Ooh, I don't think I've seen that one.

3:18

That's a classic. I I dig that one a lot. Um, I have a bunch, I tend to forget them all. Um, there's one I can't remember the name, but it's it's almost it's kind of like horror themed. It's basically like a guy who helps with curses. He's like a half vampire and he helps with curses. Has a really long Japanese name that I can't remember. I'll look that up and I'll send it over to you. Okay.

3:38

But uh I'll check it out because I really liked uh Vampire Hunter D. That was one of the first anime movies I bought because we're kind of old. So when we were growing up, we had to go out and buy the movies from probably not very reputable looking places, like little shanties. And the second one I ever bought was uh Samurai X, which is the beginning of Euroni Kenshin when he actually gets his uh face scar and everything like that. Oh wow. And I watched that probably a million times, and then so I was super stoked when I stumbled upon Netflix a live action version of Eurony Kenshin, and I'm like, why wasn't I told about this? What could go wrong?

4:13

There's a reason why you're a [expletive] reason.

4:18

If it was good, they would have talked about it. Just like the Full Metal Alchemist live action. Did you watch that thing? Oh no. Oh, by the way, I love Full Metal Alchemist, yeah, but that thing was a [expletive] show, Street Fighter was a [expletive] show. Yeah. Uh what else? Every single one of them that they turn live action is a [expletive] show. And this was the exact same way. The characters, man, they do not portray what the show did, you know, like it's just nasty. And I fell asleep halfway through it because we were talking before Your Roni Kenshin was kind of a hard one to follow sometimes, especially being on adult swim. And you're watching more.

4:50

I think it was just more of a mature content, and like the themes were actually more like adult sometimes and like thoughtful than just like your everyday anime. So, yeah, I think it was harder to follow. So that adaptation, especially of action, I do not trust to have gone very well. No, it wasn't good.

From 5:00

5:07

The action scenes weren't that good because you watch the anime and like the swords fighting scenes, like are [expletive] awesome. Yeah when he does his style and the wind blasts and everything. Like, man, that was so cool. But in this, it it wasn't there. I was not a fan. So don't watch it.

5:23

What uh like what was do you remember what were like the anime that was on television when you were like younger? For me, it was like I come back from school and like Sailor Moon, Hamtaro, like some of this weird [expletive]. The good ones didn't really come on until later at night I tended to find. Yeah, um, and then oh, DBZ. Yeah, uh, I totally watched it.

5:40

Uh Pokemon because I count Pokemon in that because the original was totally but I think that's an interesting debate because like I feel like Avatar is an anime, The Last Airbender, but it's not, it's not I don't think it's considered anime.

5:51

Right. Like it's almost like if American animates it, it's not.

5:54

Right. If it's American, it's a cartoon.

5:56

But if it's Japanese, it's anime. Is that just like a naming thing, or does like, or does do you think like Japanese artists don't consider like our stuff?

6:04

Probably that, and then two, like I feel like Japanese anime definitely has like a set path that it follows, and American stuff, Avatar definitely is the closest one to that path, you know. But as far as other American cartoons, they're not even close to what it is because like I really feel it, you know, like when someone, like, oh man, they're getting beat down, and then all of a sudden they power up and like, yeah, I feel like I'm right there with them, you know.

6:29

The music, I love like my hair academia. I really love the musics when like they have like the hero moments, like it's so good. Yeah, I have some of those on my phone.

6:37

Um, another old one that uh we had to wait, it was on adult swim for a little bit, but we had to wait till nighttime for the good ones was Trigun. And I was a huge, huge fan of Tri-Gun. I actually stole the box set from a friend of mine and never gave it back. That's how much I enjoyed it. Wow. Vash the Stampede, Corbin was almost named Vash until Megan's like, no, you're not doing that. Kids at school call him Vag, and I was like, Oh, you think?

7:01

Oh, you told us that story. That's great. You have to check out there's a movie I like called Red Lion that you have to check out. It's like an anime movie, and it's kind of like Death Race in anime space. Um you have to check it out. It's everything you'd like about anime, but in like a racing thing.

7:16

Okay.

7:16

Uh, so that would be my recommendation. Apparently, there's a lot of good ones too now about like food wars or swimming teams, there's all the or volleyball, like there's all these other animes that are supposed to be good. And then my husband tends to watch ones that are like, they're out of school, but they're assassins, or they're out of school, but they're yes. Yeah, he likes. Did you watch that one? I've seen a couple episodes over. I thought that one was weird. It was too weird for the smiley face guy, like who's like God basically. I don't know. Uh yeah, he tends to watch those weirder ones.

7:16

Like, he tried to watch one last night where it was like a zombie chick immediately gets hits by a bus in like the first minute, and then she's resurrected to start a pop band. And like, I'm like, I can't do it. I'm sorry. Like, I love you, babe, and I love your choices, but I can't sit there.

7:59

Because that's a slippery slope. Because once you start watching those, you start watching the Japanese and Korean real life shows, and those are [expletive] hilarious. Like, once you start getting into that, there's no going back. There's no going back. Like, there was at least three months there where even Megan was in on it, where we were sitting there watching these Japanese shows, and we're like, what the [expletive]'s going on?

8:19

It's it's like an anime, but not, you know. I've I've seen some of them on there. Like, I think I would I would give some of those a chance, but oh yeah, see.

8:27

Like the one we were watching is uh a girl got an apartment, and then it just so happened that a guy got the same apartment and nobody told him, and now they have to live together, which is taboo, and then all kinds of highlights. The only outcome, right?

8:37

Of course, is that well, I guess we'll just live together. Yeah, one of us can't go somewhere else.

8:41

Yeah, exactly. And I love that show, it was awesome. They end up falling in. What was it called? I forget the [expletive] name of it. Yeah, you know, if it's not some English name, I'll probably forget it. Yeah, I barely remember my friend's name, honestly.

8:55

Um today on the Docket, we got some PTSD.

8:59

Ooh, okay. It's been a minute a while.

9:01

It's been a minute, always some good laughs, usually. I uh I still to do our own horn. I went back and like I don't know, sometimes I randomly listen to our own episodes. I don't know, just like to I don't want to call it quality check, but just to see like, I don't know, where could we improve, you know, stuff like that. And I like to do it for the continuity.

9:16

That way we can, if there's some, oh, we could bring that back and keep it rolling.

9:19

I agree. And uh one of the scenes that really got me and I kind of forgot about was when we did uh we did the Mortal Kombat one recently, and you you were like the PR guy, and we were talking about like the employee handbook and how like there's just like soulless people like in all the photos, and I was just dying, like just listening to that scene, like because I could visually imagine like the soulless monks that you were talking about just staring off in the distance and how hard it was to like give a tour of like the building. Like with uh I don't know that when I was like geeking out like right before a meeting, anyway.

9:19

So PTSD is some of my favorite, it's it's so dumb sometimes, but it's there's some gold that comes out of PTSD.

9:59

There's a lot of uh there's a couple episodes that we actually cut out you guys haven't seen, but it's hit and miss, and sometimes it's really good. So I like PTSD.

From 10:00

10:08

I would like to in the future revisit more Captain Planet. I feel like we only skim the surface because we ended up all about the wheeler guy. Literally, that episode was supposed to be about Captain Planet, and we spent the whole time we and now I feel like I don't even want to get to Captain Planet, I want to like all the other what uh Linka. Yeah, like where are they now? Where are they now? And then eventually work our way and like keep building on how much of a piece of [expletive] Captain Planet is. So by the time we get through all the planeteers and we get to him, he's just like the scummiest, like trashiest piece of [expletive]. Which is probably really the case. Oh, absolutely. [expletive] that guy, he's green.

10:08

Uh so this episode, I'm gonna switch it up a little bit. Um, so this whole thing, so it's gonna be like a Batman-themed episode where all the PTSD bits will be Batman themed, or it'll just be one extended bit. And this basically came, Nate, from that story I shared with you, where basically, so there's a show on HBO Max now, Harley Quinn. It's animated, kind of funny, kind of very like uh Venture Bros. And I guess in season three, they wanted to have a scene where Batman was going down on Catwoman. Um that's hot, right? Yeah, except DC did not feel like it was super hot and said, quote, heroes don't do that, end quote.

10:08

And so they had to take that scene out, and that caused quite a ruckus on the internet of like people were kind of basically saying, like, I don't even like I didn't even care like about what boring sex like Superman or Batman was having, but now I want to know like who's going out on who and what dumb like positions are they heroes only do missionary, yeah. Exactly, right? There's just been no like there, you know, it's not covered, obviously, for for reasons. And so like this was like just a small like peek into the crack, even though it was basically them being like, no, we can't talk about that. Right. It was kind of like, well, why not? What does he do? What does she do? Like they are adults, right?

10:08

You know, it's not like talking about teens or something. And why is it so fun? You know, like there's basically many times implied canonically and stuff where like Ivy and Harvey Quinn are like kind of like in different types of like levels of romantic relationships. So it's like with each other, why can't we talk about it?

12:17

Like scissoring, yeah.

12:19

I mean they don't go into that, but they have yeah, they have like romantic relationships at times or components of romance in their relationships. No, I did not know that. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So why can't we? Anyway, so this whole thing with the whole plenty of memes about Batman. There's a joke about like from one comic, he says, like, I know every like nerve in a man's body, and then Catwoman's like, and a woman's body, right? And then it's the whole Star Wars memes. I love those lately. I love those, too. Especially because it I didn't stand out to me, but like she really does just repeat the same line, but say it like uncomfortably, and that's hilarious. I I don't know why that never stood out to me because smile back at her.

12:19

Anyway, so that that whole thing stirred up like I want to just do a Batman PTSD. Also, you have uh your character who that's basically the one from College Humor. Yeah, what's that guy's name? P uh Holmes. Yeah, we're basically just gonna rip that off too. Totally. Um, so how I imagine today would go is that uh the same psychologist who's been in like all the other PTSD and D's, uh, well, basically he relocates and now he works at Arkham Asylum because he got a bunch of like stalkers at his last job. He had like this teacher who kept like showing up and like trying to kidnap his patients, and then there was this like sentient, like you know, [expletive] Kool-Aid man who just kept bursting through his office.

12:19

So he needed to change the pace. I guess he moves to Arkham, thinks he's gonna have this sweet, you know, like government job at Arkham Asylum, just working with you know vegetables. Turns out the clientele's a little more uh complicated, and he doesn't know much about this guy called Batman, but he calls in a subject matter expert, the person who kind of booked him. And maybe he can learn a little bit about their what's going on in their psyche or you know how they met. So that's that's kind of where we're going with this. This could be terrible, guys. Uh, it's not the usual PTSD format, but we're gonna give it a try. We're trying something new, so bear with us. So give us a [expletive] chance to end a dollar.

12:19

And a dollar, good lord. Nick, if you're listening, it's time, all right? We fixed it. You can actually search for us now. We're not hidden because they think we're like an adult triple X Patreon anymore. We fixed that, okay? I don't know why your card got declined. Um, but figure it out, man. Give us the dollar, all right? It's your time, Nick. Please, Nick. Come on. Everyone else is doing it. We're begging you.

14:36

John did it. Nick, John did it. Do it. If John did it, yeah. You got no excuse. No excuse. Come on. All right.

14:42

So you ready for this? I think so. Like, so I am only doing Batman, right? You're just doing Batman, yeah. And I don't even know if I'm even gonna like, I think you'll just be talking to the doctor the whole time. I don't know if I'm gonna like do voices for the kind of thing. Okay. So we're just gonna see how it goes. Okay. Um so there's no knock on the door like we normally do. Yeah, yeah. Because we're already just hanging out together. So uh Batman, thank you, thank you for coming. Uh I uh didn't think this would work, but uh, you know, I turns out shooting a giant uh beam of light shaped like your parents is a good way to get your attention. It's the only way to get my attention.

14:42

Uh yeah, so uh Commissioner Gordon, he he told me that this would be a total waste of my time, but I I thought I'd I'd give it a try anyway. Uh you haven't met me, I'm I'm doctor. And uh I understand, yeah. Who's that? French Canadian. Yes, yes, yeah. Well, see, we have uh some unique patients here, and it turns out uh you were the one who who brought them in, uh Batman. And uh I was hoping maybe uh they're very problematic here at the Arkham Asylum. Uh, and I was hoping you could help me.

14:42

I'm kind of the new guy in the job, and I really knew this to work out, and frankly, I I'm concerned some of them will literally kill me if I don't uh kind of get into their state of mind.

From 15:00

15:57

Yeah, no problem. I got uh nothing else going on, I guess. I could just stop what I'm doing and come help you out.

16:05

Thank you, thank you. Okay, thank you. Uh so the first subject I want to speak about uh this way over here. Uh any points to like uh one of those like one-way mirrors. Oh my god, what's that? Oh no, that's sorry, that's uh that's the break room. Uh the next one. Okay. Uh so uh this gentleman, uh this is Bane here. Uh I think you you remember him. I remember Bane. Yeah. He smelled really bad. Serious B-O.

16:30

I couldn't stand wrestling with him.

16:32

He does a lot of drinking. He broke my back. Yeah.

16:34

Yeah.

16:35

Literally? Oh, yeah, literally.

16:36

Oh luckily, I'm stronger than an average man. And I pulled my [expletive] back together and survived. Wow. Yeah, [expletive] that guy.

16:45

Yeah, okay. Well, I was hoping you could help me out a little bit. So uh we're trying to obviously, right? We know he's addicted to Venom, uh, and it it is a source of some of my strength, but he's actually highly intellectual too. Like he's not just like a bodybuilder gone, like whatever. He's also like a genius. Oh me too.

17:03

Oh, yeah. That's how I was able to thwart him. I'm just as smart as I can have, not smarter.

17:09

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So here, I I was just pulling up his file right here, and it said that uh turns out he has uh uh some daddy issues.

17:17

Um I can see that. Yeah he was calling me daddy when I was beating the [expletive] out on the other day. Hey, he can you hear me? Bang! You suck.

17:29

Got him. No, no, he's he's kind of in a weird space. Oh, he he really despite knowing four languages, he just keeps kind of saying like chaos and uh he's not in He's like the darkness, he's like he's in a little bit of a withdrawal right now. But listen, yeah, so he's got some some parental issues. Uh, you know, I I you know who I can't really relate, but uh apparently that's a pretty common theme here in Gotham. Um and uh so I I guess uh his his father got a life sentence but escaped, and uh in his hometown they actually literally made him his son at like a young age of like four or five serve out his like life sentence in prison. Uh do you know anything about this?

17:29

Uh he he basically ended up owning a prison.

18:08

Yeah, I remember this. It's darker than you think. Because once he got to prison, he got addicted to a new kind of venom from a one-eyed snake. And that's when things started going downhill for him. After that, he needed more and more venom. What the [expletive] are we talking about again? Pain? Oh, pain. Yeah. He's real [expletive] up.

18:31

Right, right, okay, so he has multiple dependencies. Yeah, he loves it. He can't get enough of it. Wow, okay, we didn't have this on it. This is great stuff. Yeah. Yeah, no problem, yeah. I'll tell you why.

18:43

How did you figure this out? One time, he touched my thigh while we were fighting, and he became aroused. And I was like, hey bro, not today.

18:52

And he's like, Oh, I'm sorry.

18:54

And yeah. I told him to back off, and he felt really awkward, and he did that weird hunched walk when you're trying to hide a boner. I call it a bat boner, and he was hiding it. And I knew that this guy's really [expletive] up. And that's when I hit him with my batarang.

19:10

What's what's your batarang?

19:11

There's this thing I keep in my pocket. Don't touch it. It's sharp. It'll get you.

19:15

Oh, okay. Okay, wow. That's a lot too unpack there. So uh a couple other notes here I had. So he actually believes in some kind of dem demonic bat in his culture, and actually he connects that with you. Like he thinks you're this demonic bat, and that's why he's basically hellbent on destroying you. Do you know what that's about?

19:33

I don't know anything about that. All I know is m my glutes look really tight in this suit, and that probably drove him to insanity. Because he's obviously a closeted homosexual. He needs to just come out and accept himself, and maybe he won't have so much rage built up. This venom thing he's addicted to.

19:49

That's surprisingly insightful. Yeah, I know. I took notes. That's great.

19:52

Actually, Alfred took notes and he gave them to me. And I just did the DLDR on it.

19:57

Yeah, so alright. Well, some really great, great information here, some insight. Um, yeah, you're gonna need to drink a lot of water in this episode. He's just gonna start misting you while you're talking. You hear Nate gargling in the background. Uh that's why. So uh last last thing I wanted to cover was he uh he he has a he grew up with this stuffed animal. He called it Osito, uh Spanish for little bear. Apparently he carried a knife inside of it and carried that around with him. That was the only person he said he could trust.

From 20:00

20:27

I believe that. Because later on in life, there was one other bear that he could trust. It was a man named Bertie. He was a bear. They call it a different kind of bear, though. But for some reason it was still a bear. He was a big hairy man, and Bertie was the only one Payne could trust. I think there might be some kind of correlation between his bear and the other bear, and his rampant homosexuality.

20:59

Where's the trigger?

21:03

That's great stuff. Alright, so closet homosexual. Uh definitely. I saw it in his eyes. Bear uh boyfriend slash uh birdie, yeah. Daddy issues. Birdie, yep, got you. I'm pretty sure you called him daddy. Venom addictions question mark. Yeah, why venom? Uncut. All right, thank you. Thank you. You're welcome, yeah. That's really great. You are uh very, very knowledgeable on gay culture, that's just uh That's part of my job. Excellent. Okay, well, uh this is great if we could make the same progress on all of them. Let's get to it.

21:38

I got a lot more crime to throw later.

21:42

All right, so uh next up we have uh Mrs. Uh her name was actually retcon in the comics, but I have her old name. Uh Lillian Rose, which is incredibly cliche. She's a botanist biochemist uh who goes by the name Poison Ivy. Oh yeah, Redbush. That's what we call the red bows house connect. Okay. All right. Well, I don't think that's particularly helpful. But um I'm more concerned about so uh she's uh as you know, she's uh like a a bioterrorist. Um she's actually not a villain per se. She just thinks that uh you know the people of Gotham are guilty, including yourself, of polluting uh the world. Uh do you have any any thoughts on that?

22:48

Oh no, she's a terrorist, alright. Her biggest crime is blue boss. She's always trying to kiss people, and then they pass out before they can get to the sweet spot, if you know what I'm saying. Red Bush is a true killer in Gotham.

23:04

So, okay, well that's I guess that's good to know. Um toxic relationship.

23:09

It's a federal crime here in Gotham to give a guy blue boss.

23:12

Is it?

23:12

I don't ask Rachel. Rachel! Please Rachel. Oh, I miss her so much. Joker killed Rachel. He tricked me. Maybe save that son of a [expletive], Harvey Den.

23:24

Okay, yeah. Well, Harvey Den's coming up later. So we're here to talk about Red Bush. We're here to Okay, yeah. So uh Ivy. Let's go with Ivy. That's the tip of that name. Um I don't think that's Ivy Bush. So apparently, uh so she she's socially distanced from humans. Uh she grew up with wealthy parents, uh, you know, that kind of thing, you know. Yeah, wealthy parents, not very close, and then they died. No idea what you're talking about. No, yeah, I mean we wouldn't know. I'm sure you're just some kind of street rat type deal. Yeah, I grew up on the streets.

23:58

Yeah.

23:59

Uh but listen, so uh she prefers plants, and to be honest, I'm getting these strong, you know, you mentioned blue balls and whatnot, but I I'm getting these strong, maybe homosexual, like perhaps lesbian vibes. Um, she's actually specifically bonded with some of our other patients, Harley Quinn, you might be familiar with that. Yeah, I'm no nickname for her.

24:18

No, no. Quinster, I like her. She's cool. She's cool, Mama.

24:22

Great, great.

24:23

But you gotta stop Redbush right now before this turns into a total clam bake. She's gonna start shucking clams left and right, and you can't stop her. It'll be like a damn [expletive] sea otter. She'll be breaking apart so many clams.

24:34

Well, I think I think it has to do with her the notes we have on our profile is that basically uh she uh dated her her professor. She was this kind of like, you know, nerdy type in school intellectual academia focus, but then her professor kind of like charmed her and took advantage and then naturally you know poisoned her with a bunch of like lethal experimental You see the ones you've seen in a thousand.

24:56

Exactly.

24:59

So yeah, so I I don't know. I I mean I think there's a distrust of men, there is a distrust of of society, and I I don't I just I don't I don't know. Like at one point she literally escaped from Arkham and she actually tried to cause no crime whatsoever. She she created like a second Eve on this desert island where it totally isolated, wasn't causing any issues, and then well, some corporation, I think the Wayne Industries, they were testing some new weapons, blew it up, and then she was pissed. And now she's come back to basically make sure everybody in Gotham is punished.

From 25:00

25:28

Well, you can't be mad at Wayne Enterprise, they're a pillar of the community. They do so much good.

25:34

I'm not so sure about oil drilling in the Middle East. I think there's actually direct correlations with the prison that Bain ran and the Wayne Corporation. You know, I'm not into like conspiracy theories, but the the family basically runs this town into the ground.

25:47

We're gonna talk about Red Bush. There's a I'll tell you how I stopped her. There's a secret weapon that Alfred gave to me. It was coming closer. It was what? She smells so bad.

26:02

Well, she's yeah, she's like an all-natural. Yes, disgust. She's a hippie.

26:06

There's only one way to stop hippies. Deodorant. Then threaten them with a job. I told her if she doesn't clean up her act, she's gonna have to go get a real job.

26:15

But you know, she I mean, she's he literally has a PhD in in biochemistry and and botany. Yeah, sounds like some hippie.

26:24

Okay. Redbush is true threat. Keep her locked up at all times. Okay, I'll make that note. Uh look at her. She's got her two fingers spread across her lips and she's sticking her tongue through it. It's disgusting.

26:36

Yeah, I'm surprised she even knows. Like, they can't see through the window. I don't know how she knows you're here.

26:39

I have no idea, but heroes don't do that kind of [expletive].

26:43

Excellent, excellent. Thank you so much. Okay, well, uh, I got a couple more patients here. Uh, you're familiar. This guy's pretty odd. Uh it goes by the penguin. Oh yeah, I know that guy.

26:52

He got weird-looking figures.

26:56

Okay, next, two faces. No, uh, the penguin. Uh couple, couple pot, pot. Chester. Jesser Gaba. With those words. Do you have something in your throat? I'm sorry, I just uh hit in the throat on my way over here.

27:17

I thought a lady needed to be saved. And she didn't. She said I was a mugger. I'm just a guy in a batsuit.

27:23

Yeah, what's that about? I mean, because we could sit down and talk about you a little bit. I don't have any problems. Let's talk about these weirdos anyway. Okay.

27:31

Now penguin.

27:32

Penguin, yeah.

27:33

Yeah, he smells like fish. He's disgusting looking. Look at him. His teeth are all shy. It looks like it belongs in a circus. I didn't even know what crime he was committing. I had to stop one look at him.

27:48

We don't have much on him either. It just says freak. Yeah, he's just so weird looking.

27:52

I had to stop him.

27:53

Yeah. We were wondering, maybe like, is was there a crime, perhaps?

27:58

I remember writing down jaywalking. That's all I wrote. I had to stop him. Nobody should be walking around on the streets looking like that.

28:06

So he's an ark of asylum for jaywalking. Exactly. That explains why he's actually been very incredibly like uh just friendly and and following directions from the Yeah, but look at him, he's menacing looking.

28:17

You don't want that guy on the streets. He makes babies cry and stuff. We don't want that. He upset Alfred.

28:25

Tell me who is Alfred. Actually, I don't uh Alfred's just this guy hang out with.

28:30

Mutual relations with somebody else, but he's just a guy hanging out with his name's Alfred. He's an old gent. He's English, I think. He actually doesn't tell me too much about his backstory. I don't ask. He takes care of me.

28:41

Alright, yeah. I think I think Cobblebot's actually English too. They might you know. Oh, is he along? Oh, weirdos. Yeah, alright. Well, moving on, uh, Two Face. Uh Harvey Dead.

28:51

Here's the reason Rachel's gone. Rachel! Uh, she's not there. No. No. You keep you keep bringing her up. I miss her. The smell of her hair. I was kind of a creep about it. Oh, Rachel. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. How did how did you lose Rachel? I honestly can't remember. I think it was a joker or something. I blame Harvey Dead. Oh wait, maybe it's Too Faced. It's either one of those guys. Well, they're the same guy. Impossible. I've seen them both. One's two-face, one's Harvey Dead. It's impossible. You can't get a both.

29:24

Well, it's just it's like depending on which side you're standing on, you see one of them, but not the other. No, no, no.

29:29

They're two separate people. Look at it. If you look at it from this side, that's Harvey Dead.

29:33

No, no, look. And he hits like a button like Harvey, could you uh could you turn around for me? And like Harvey turns around. Like, and then who who uh can you turn in the other side? Oh my god, who's that? That's that's two-face. Also Harvey Dead. Same person. Same room. Same room, same person. We don't put two prisoners in the same uh cell together. I knew that. You see, you see what's happening here, right?

29:54

Yeah, Two Face obviously ate Harvey Dent and somehow molded his face into his face, thus creating three face.

From 30:00

30:05

Uh quadborg. Tryboard. It's not science.

30:10

Harvey Dent's dead, and quad face ate him.

30:14

Yeah, okay, I see. Well, the thing was, so Harvey Dent is alive. Uh he was a politician, right? And uh unfortunately he I think he got roped into one of Joker's schemes. Uh and or now he's a gangster. Uh I don't know how that's got his face blown up. Yeah, it's it's pretty seems to have like a very big role in Gotham, though, uh history here.

30:34

Uh this brings me to a fact that apparently in Gotham, if you just want to, you can go be a gangster. It's that easy.

30:40

That's it.

30:41

It's it's pretty popular.

30:42

You just show up to some butcher shop and hey, I'm in. And they're like, all right, you son of a [expletive]. I'm in. You son of a [expletive].

30:50

Yeah, it's alright. We'll we'll stop for a second because your voice I feel like is giving out. Um I feel like we have to do one of these with Alfred's in it.

31:04

Oh, alright.

31:07

Alright, I'm back.

31:08

Okay, uh, next up uh we have uh a gentleman who goes by the name Riddler.

31:14

Do I know what I got?

31:16

Uh Green Spandex, uh walks around with a cane. That's what Riddle Marks. Did you get it?

31:22

I'm just as good as him.

31:24

Yes, yes, that genius mastermind you're referring to with Bane. If not better, yeah. Yeah. Well, alright, so our concern with the Riddler is that actually he maybe has hidden uh explosives around the facility. Uh we're not even sure if he's here uh by our will or his. Uh he's kind of uh an elusive figure.

31:41

Oh yeah, I can see that. I wouldn't worry about it.

31:44

How do you when was the last time you encountered the Riddler? Last time I I saw the Riddler. I called uh what was it, 411 for help? Uh the the like directory on the on the phone. It wasn't the directory, it was Riddler.

32:01

I swear it was that. Because they're like, what do you want? I'm like, movie theater times. And they wouldn't tell me when Batman Begins starts. I was like, Batman Begins. And they're like, sir, that movie's not out. And I was like, Riddler, is that you? And they're like, what are you talking about? And I was like, I know it's you, Riddler. You're in my phone. You're in my Riddler.

32:21

I don't think that was the Riddler.

32:23

No, it was totally Riddler. And then I didn't know how to stop him. That's pretty much my story.

32:35

Excellent. Okay, so uh let me just recap a little bit what we got here. Pain, flaming homosexual. Totally, yeah. Uh red but I mean Ivy, yeah. Uh uh guilty of blue balls.

32:48

Yep, and shuck and clam.

32:49

Shuck and clam.

32:50

What does that mean again? Uh you imagine it like if you see a sea otter like cracking open a clam and sucking out the meat of it. It doesn't take too much to put it together. She does that, but with the ladies. We call it shuck and clam, you and I've recalled that.

33:05

Okay, great. And then we had um cobble bot, uh the penguin known as the penguin. Yeah, filthy jaywalker. I'm gonna actually look into a sentence. It doesn't actually seem like this is an appropriate. No, he's disgusting.

33:20

Yeah, you should really put a bag over his head if he's gonna be staying in here.

33:23

Okay, which led us to Two Face uh Quad Face. He killed Harley Detonator. Now he's got four faces. Excellent. Okay. Followed by Riddler, who you think is the phone operator for 411.

33:38

Menace to society.

33:40

Couldn't give me a straight answer. And then your good friends, so Harley Quinn recently was released. Uh do you know anything about her? I'm pretty sure I'm told she's a frequent uh flyer here at the Arkham Assembly. No, she's totally cool. Yeah, well, uh, you know, she did still friends with some. Apparently, she was a doctor here um previously before, you know.

33:58

Yeah, that's when she was lame, but now she's cool. She once killed a guy for an egg sandwich. I saw her. And then I had that egg sandwich, and I'd totally kill the guy for that.

34:10

Fascinating. Yeah, you're welcome. Alright. I I hesitate to bring you up to the next one. I know that there's a lot of uh a lot of trauma here, but um Is it Robin? No, he's not here. Okay, good. Isn't he who's Robin? [expletive].

34:26

He's my [expletive], my little [expletive]. I loved him. Yeah, I took care of him.

34:31

Oh my god. Are you referring to the sidekick right now? Or yeah, totally. What do you think I'm sorry about?

34:36

You think I'm like Bane? You think I'm a closeted gay? No, not this bad.

34:41

Okay, anyway, no, Robin is not here. This is a place for people who institutionalize and need help, um, which leads to the Joker. Oh yeah. We have nothing on his file. Literally nothing. There's there's no information. I know. Two things about the Joker.

34:58

Okay. One, that's a custom mid suit. It's very nice. It costs a lot of money. Number two. Like, what's up with his face tattoo? Like, which joker are we talking about? We're talking to Jared Leto Joker? Because that guy totally sucked. But we're talking Heath Ledger Joker, there is cool.

From 35:00

35:15

Yeah.

35:16

Oh Jared Leto Joker. Suck balls, like big time. And not in the good way, like Bane likes it. Like in the just a bad way. Just a bad way. Not good. Lame. Well, lots to unpack. [expletive] you, Jared Leto.

35:31

A lot to unpack. Um no, uh I don't even I don't know. He used to be a Mafia boss. We we we can it's clear by his patterns of his his connections in the city, his his following, that he was a former mobster. But that's I thought he was a comedian. Well, I watched I watched his origin story with the walking phoenix.

35:52

It is pretty good. I thought that was his origin story. I don't know much about him. I just thwward him.

35:59

I just thought I've got him. Yeah. Uh we got one more thing in this last room. Can you can you just follow me? Wait, can Joker hear me? Joker. Uh you have to push the button.

36:07

Oh, I'm gonna push the button.

36:09

Joker. [expletive] you. Let's go. You can just hear wild laughter in the background. Um we're gonna call it. I think. Thank god. I don't think your voice can hear that anymore. Um I probably won't be able to talk when I get home. It was all downhill from Red Bush, honestly. That was pretty good. It was pretty two things about that zoo. One, that's a tailored suit. Oh my god. You're a master, man. You're a master.

36:38

That was tough.

36:39

Have you ever done like where do you like get your like improv? Like, is it just purely I think you said once like your family are all like pretty quick at like making fun of each other, and that's it? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Uh I didn't because I didn't give Nate any like any like heads up about it. Like you're into Batman voice. That's literally all I told him.

36:56

The the Harvey Dent one, I was really struggling to not exactly copy the Pete Holmes one because that [expletive] was [expletive] funny. Oh, what happens in the Pete Holmes one? In the Pete Holmes one, I haven't seen it. It was like the same thing almost. I was trying really hard not to copy, but I couldn't help it.

37:10

Where he's like, Harvey De, where'd Two Face go?

37:14

Two face, what'd you do with Harvida?

37:16

And then he turns his face again, he's like, Scary face. Be cautious. Two Face and Harvey Den are somewhere, scary face. Oh my god, Two Face! What did you do with Scary Face and Harvey Den? They look really nice.

37:29

That's all the episode is him just shifting face, like, oh scary face. Two face was just here.

37:36

That's amazing. Who uh who's like your superhero of choice?

37:41

Like of all of them right now?

37:44

Yeah, it can be Marvel, it can be DC, could be not any of them. It could even be like, you know, we're watching um Invincible. I'm still need to finish.

37:52

Oh, yeah, Omni Man. Yeah, Omni Man.

37:54

That first episode was [expletive] bananas. I haven't finished it. I haven't watched it past the first episode. That one blew my mind so much, I've yet to go back to it.

38:02

I can't know if I can invest in this.

38:05

You haven't finished it either, have you? Just the first episode, and then I was the same way. I'm like, well you need to push through. I'm told it's like still pretty good.

38:12

Right. And then of course the kids come in, they're like, oh, a cartoon. They sit down, like, no, yeah, you do not watch this cartoon. No. But as far as superhero, I've always liked uh Colossus, like in Marvel's X-Men. For some reason, I've always liked that one. The whole idea that I could like turn my body in the metal and I'm super strong and I could survive a nuclear blast. That's pretty cool.

38:32

Pretty basic, I would say. I mean, I don't know. That's the problem I think with superheroes right now is like it has to be super original, man. Like, you know, like he has to have like hands come out of his ass that like can like wield shadow swords to like be unique now at this point, if it's no sense. You know, um I'm definitely, I think we talked about it over the Marvel stuff. Oh yeah, for sure. I will say I am watching just because I really love Loki. Loki. Yeah, I'm watching Loki.

38:56

Is it four episodes now? I watched the first three, and so far, so good.

38:59

You know, fourth one's pretty good. I would say the fourth one's better. The third one obviously ends pretty abruptly, right? Um yeah, I don't know. It's it's pretty good. Um, but in general, I'm tired out, tuckered out. People are like, You're supposed to watch the Falcon No Winter Soldier. I'm gonna care. I watched that.

39:13

I'm tired, and I didn't watch WandaVision. [expletive] that. I didn't watch it.

39:17

Yeah, I we know we know. Wandavision I was pretty disappointed in, to be totally honest. Um the ending wasn't good. Have you have you seen Westworld?

39:27

No, okay.

39:28

It kind of set me up like they were there was so much to read into in the first episodes, but then it was a very classic Disney Marvel like cookie cutter ending, and it was like you really like set us up to like really read into a lot of different things, and it just gave us like a real basic plot twist, and it was just like uh and not every I know not every show has to have a plot twist, but like you created the show where we anal we analyzed like basically every episode, right?

39:28

You know, the premise, every episode followed like these old like sitcoms from the 60s, 70s, 80s, but there was these moments where like they would break the fourth window and she'd want to make become scenting for a sec that like things aren't and like so there was all these clues and it was really fun to just like have theories about, and it was total [expletive] after like after a few episodes in they kind of start to release the shroud, and it was like, Oh, put the shroud back. Like the shroud was more interesting than what you actually have, right? Just like every single horror movie I watch. So you haven't watched Westworld? No, I haven't. I heard it's really good. You got it.

39:28

Uh so only watch season one, and then there's two other seasons, don't bother. Oh, like heroes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, don't I I would literally recommend two wasn't awful, but it like season one captures it so perfectly, and they just like tried to do it again with the same shock value. And you might, I don't know, maybe try two, but let's see. But you'll love for I think you'll love season one. Um, and there's like so much like it's like gotta pay attention.

From 40:00

40:50

Ooh, okay.

40:52

It's one of those shows.

40:53

It seems like it's really hard to for shows lately to keep it going. Like, once like they reach a peak at some point, like, man, how's it gonna get better than that? Yep, and lately they don't. Yeah, lately, yeah. I can't think of a lot of examples. Like Walking Dead, like I lost it at the trash people. As soon as the trash people were brought in, I'm like, nope, I'm [expletive] over it. Like, I'm not watching the show anymore.

41:12

I just uh I never really watched Watching uh Walking Dead until like my husband just like I randomly started watching probably around that time because I remember the trash people, right? Um, I started watching around like the Negan arc, yeah. And I was like, this is interesting, but I can't imagine like 12 seasons of this, you know, like it's just like what is there to like like survival is only so interesting, I think, and like zombies like there's only so much to offer in like three, four seasons sure, but oh yeah. I that's I kind of like even though it's sad, I kind of like Netflix's recent model of like you get three or four seasons and you're done.

41:45

Right. Um like Stranger Things, like I love Stranger Things. I thought that show was [expletive] awesome. I love that.

41:50

I didn't watch that one.

41:51

Oh, I [expletive] love it, but I like the whole 80s nostalgia combined with horror thing.

41:56

I think I haven't watched Strangers Things because I don't know what it is. People keep every time someone describes it to me, it's like different. Like I don't know what that show is supposed to be.

42:03

So uh in my take on it, it would be like a uh Goonies-esque because of the group of friends, but also they're dealing with Cthulhu style horror set in an 80s time period.

42:16

So is it horror? Is it Goonies is more like action, adventure?

42:20

No, I label it as horror because of what they're fighting, because um, you know, like the the shadow realm or whatever that like sometimes is in the Cthulhu verse. That's basically what they're fighting, is like things that are coming from this shadow verse. That there's a lot, a lot of other things like government stuff that are thrown on top of it, but the basic core of it is them versus this shadow verse. And I've loved it. It's fascinating. I'll check it out. And they use DD to help solve a solve a part of it.

42:47

Oh, next episode I'll have to share a funny story about for the drop DD. It got dark. Like I got called out awkwardly, and then it was a weird moment. But anyway, uh I think circling back to the whole theme here is that like I really enjoy superhero stuff and I would like more of it, but we have to drop, like, I'm just kind of tired of just cut and dry hero art type same stuff again. Like, I yeah, I cool. I want to see Batman, like I don't want to see him go down on a woman, but like I wanna like what you know, obviously, like sex changes a relationship, right? So I would like to see how that affects relationships instead of just implied, you know, because like stuff like that.

42:47

Like I want to see adult, I want to see superheroes dealing with adult, right actual issues.

43:30

And now that we've been growing up with these our whole time, like the original Michael Keaton Batman's came out when we were kids, you know, and like we've been growing up with these things. I think it's time to evolve these characters as with the audience that's watching it.

43:43

And I think like some of the comic stories it it's it's implied. Like right, they cover these maybe mature things, but they won't verbatim talk about if Catwoman him are [expletive] like let's go, let's just let's move on. Like, right? It's gonna make it more interesting. And that's at this point, like at my point in my life, like Batman either needs to buy a house. Um, you know, like settle down, have a kid, get an ST. I don't know, like you know, something you know, I need him to be more anchored in reality and the existential dread that we're all right experiencing.

44:11

Taxes like Bruce Wayne doing his taxes. Like, let's get down to that. Do we want to see that?

44:18

I would at this point I would take it over.

44:20

That's when it turns into American psycho, basically.

44:24

All right. Well, thank you again for joining us, uh, our listeners. Uh if you liked what you you heard, if if you if you were laughing, then you owe us a dollar. That's how it works. If you thought this was funny and you want to hear it again, we're gonna keep making it, but help support us. This this doesn't this we have to make time in our busy schedules, like time away from our families, and help us uh just support our hobby by joining the Patreon. We have a dollar, a five dollar, ten dollar tier. It doesn't matter, just just give us whatever you want. There's even a name your own price tier. Where's the dollar? Where's the dollar?

44:53

Give me the dollar, rather, rather, I need a dollar.

44:57

So check us out or natwinepresents.com or patreon.com slash natwinepresents, uh, or find us on social media, same handle, site in RDMs, whatever you want. And we will talk to you next week.