PTSD&D | Wayne Manor Menagerie

You're about to listen to the first experimental season of our show, formerly called Nat One Presents the Podcast. For better audio quality and our current ongoing D D campaign, skip ahead to season two featuring the Daft Monks. On this episode of Nat One Presents Explain yourself to me.

Well, I don't know, man. I'm just kind of here and sitting here, I like wearing the tights and I like fighting crime. I don't know what that has to do with who I like or anything. I'm kind of a young kid and I don't really like anybody at this point, you know. I don't I don't know what else you want me to say. That sounds perfectly reasonable.

I don't think you're gonna man, you shut your [expletive] mouth you're a criminal, and you don't talk to him unless I tell you first. Now, Commissioner Gordon, tell us all why we're here.

Adventure, hot woman's stories, role-playing that could only be seen by the gods. Here at Nat One Presents, you get all that and more. Now join us as we start another epic 10 of Control.

Just kidding. This is Nat One Presents, a tabletop role-playing game podcast that takes your favorite nerdy games and pop cut. Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents the Podcast. Hey fellas. Hey.

Hey. What's uh what's new? What's going on? Anything anything cool?

Oh, not too much. I was thinking about the days back when you know I was younger, like summer camps and uh Cub Scouts, things I didn't do because you know I was poor. Right. But apparently you guys were telling me that there's this like other thing out here that's like kind of cooler than Cub Scouts. Yes, um it's 4H, it's a big deal for because I'm always from Bowdunk Town, so that's all I got going on, is yeah. What's what Nevada? That is such a I'm sorry, but like the name Perump, no one like it's it means our presidents don't come from Perump. No, no, you know what comes from Perump? Meth.

What did you think about that train thing I sent you?

Terrifying. Oh, that was amazing. Um, yeah. So, and Chris, you didn't get this because we didn't share. Uh, is it was sent to me specifically. Everybody knows I love trains. Um, and I guess I didn't know this was a thing, but so right, Thomas the [expletive] Thomas the Tank Engine. Thomas Tank Engine. The Skyrim. Right, lots of memes. All right, yeah, no Skyrim memes. And then since then he's kind of just been a meme in a lot of things. Well, somebody finally just made a game, but it's not obviously for legal reasons, it can't be Thomas. So it's like a bleeding train face with like spider legs. Yeah, okay. Yeah, and Nate sent that to me, and I'm like, this would already know about it.

He would have been like, that's old hack.

He was like just flicking a lighter on his couch, like just watching the trailer.

Where have you been?

Anyway, I'm like, man, like I would actually play, like it looked terrifying, right? Like, I would actually play that game. How you gotta like armor up your own train and go out and like fix the tracks? I wouldn't get off my train. There's just not enough good train combat games. You know, there's a real niche community out there, you know. They [expletive] mean it's basically just me, but I would play the [expletive] out of that game.

Like, we sold one copy, like he's only played it for five minutes.

Um, yeah, that sounds really great. And then other game news, uh, not funny, but just serious, uh, sad day, or maybe happy day, I don't know. Um, Mr. Sakurai uh Sakura, Sakurai? I think Sakurai. Uh the guy basically who has worked on Smash Bros. the entire series um is finally done with the game. So he released the last character for Super Smash Bros. And do you want to take a guess at who it is? No. Yeah. Uh it ended up being Sora from Kingdom Hearts, which maybe sounds kind of lame. It was actually number one requested on the list they did. Um, you don't.

Yes, I do. I always had fun playing for it.

Riku.

Um with the Disney, you know, and you're gonna help Jack.

Yeah, um, no, they did a really cool job with the character and pretty crazy, but it is a kind of pivotal moment because this guy has ran this series. Smash Bros is everybody presumes Smash Bros is as good as it is because he's stayed attached to the project. Right. He has been released. He always always joked about wanting to be free of this game series, and now he is. So I'd be very curious to see like Nintendo's not gonna stop making Smash Bros., right? Unlike.

I don't know, because the Nickelodeon Brawl game just came out and it's [expletive] crushing it.

No, it's not garbage. It is so bad. I forgot about it. It came out. Yeah. Oh, radio silence. That's not good. They pushed back the release for the Switch version, but they didn't for the Steam version, so Steam version came out and people have been playing it, and it looks real bad. It looks like a flash game. We all knew, but at the same time, Nate as Helga Bataki. I had high hopes football heads. Something, something else. Right, you know, like being able to smash people is Nigel Thornberry, like that had promise, right? Prospect. And do you think do you think it's redeemable?

Korra?

Yeah, see that like they it's I that one kind of annoys me because they should have just kept it dumb characters, that would be hilarious. But to put like real fighters, yeah, people actually real combat, like and then Ang and Korra versus [expletive] Patrick Starr. Yeah, and then Butter Toastman, like that's yeah, almost obnoxious. Come on, in my opinion. Come on. That's where I drop that.

I'd only pick two characters out of the whole [expletive] roster.

Maybe not. I might pick someone else, I don't know. You want to play Renan and Snimpy at the same time? I'd probably really play Helga Pataki. Well, can it be redeemed? Do you think they can fix it on the Nintendo version? No, I doubt they're going to.

They have rollback net code. That's all they got.

That's what you said. You were so you were like, it's promising because of this netcode. No, it's not. It looks like it.

I watched some gameplay of it and I'm like, [expletive] turn this off right now.

Like the level design, everything was like one little platform floating there in the air, and oh man, it's rough.

Like Final Destination, one little platform, or it's just like lazy, like they didn't even try to like. There's one that's like that. They had one that was Basing Sei, I think. Oh, that's right. The Earth Kingdom one where they just had like a cart come by every now and then. No, we don't talk about it. But I don't know. It it doesn't look great. It looks like very floaty. People have been going through and just like, here you go, here's like an unstoppable combo that if you hit someone, they're just gonna die. So there's like a lot of issues not only with the gameplay, but also like it's not on the same level as like smashes, which is I think why they were trying to.

Who the [expletive] thoughts that was gonna happen with Helga Bataki? Who thought she was gonna have like a down nair, like a Nair, a four, you know, like who's gonna wave dash with [expletive] Patrick Starr? It's not happening. Um, do you think though, more seriously, that the creators of Avatar lose a little bit of their soul each time another like horrible thing, like so because like you have to see now, like there's that Netflix stuff that they got excited about and detached from. There was that horrible movie with M.9 Shaman Long. Now they put their beloved characters in a stupid [expletive] game who honestly, like, if you did just an Avatar fighting game that was just semi-good, like like like [expletive] like Naruto, Ninja Storm, or something like that. Like, why can't we have it?

If you just gave us that with Avatar, it would be fine. But like, so do you think the like those guys clearly they just don't own all the rights to their stuff? And do you think they just keep watching it get further and further away from their village like vision and then they just die a little bit?

Like, no joke, they're probably all dead to this. I was I was actually hopeful of the Netflix special because like The Witcher came out good, I thought, and whatever. I don't know what that author thinks of the show. I don't know if he has an opinion. Um but who knows? But um when they they left that project and they basically like yeah, they like forcefully removed themselves, which is like not a good sign. So um and also weird, so the you know, Sokka's older, there's that whole thing. Um I just I I don't remember, but I saw something recently where they showed the ages and the people. It's not as bad as I thought, but it's just it's weird and changes the dynamic between all the characters by it's gonna be weird.

Oh, we're gonna change it up, and Sokka's gonna have a sex scene with the moon princess. It's just gonna be real wrong. Oh, I'd be down with that.

And then she like ghosts him, literally ghosts him. I used to love that meme of like that's pretty much every time like anyone's ever been ghosted, that's almost exactly what happened.

And this poor [expletive]'s gotta look at the moon every night, you know? Like it's so messed up.

And then like when he's making out with the other girl and the moon's watching, like that's creepy. That that'd be like if the [expletive] like you dated the baby from [expletive] uh what's the the the the baby show with the um the the the teletubs? It's like if you dated the baby from Teletubbies and then it was just watching you while you did then you broke up with it. Now, why would you date a baby's son? I don't know. That's really weird. That's the comparison, my minder.

Okay, let me scooch over a little bit away from you.

Uh uh where were we going with this? What are we gonna talk about today? Yeah, what episode? Uh this is PTSD and D. Oh wow. I think the trend, right? We were talking about your son putting him in a social program, yeah. Obviously causing some kind of trauma, trauma, PTSD, um, and D. D. Because I don't know. Sometimes we pretend like we We haven't played D D in a long [expletive] we would love to. Honestly, we have a tier for a hundred dollars, but if you don't want to do that, we'd probably just do it for free at this point. If you leave a [expletive] comment and a review, we will put you in a game.

We'll do something, we'll work something out.

Nightbot.

Yeah.

Are you out there? Play with us. Use a voice modulator if you have to, but play a game with us.

How awesome would that be?

It would be horrible, probably. Oh, this is Nightbot. What if Nightbot's like really amazing? What if Nightbot's your neighbor? Oh my god. You think would that like I don't know, would the dollar Nightbot pays a month make up for him like assaulting my friend? Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's good.

Like, I'm paying for good content and you can't even park in the spot correctly, you son of a [expletive]. I don't know, Nate. Who's Nate? Where am I? I have Alzheimer's.

It that's like when you recounted the story like before the show, before you even exaggerated even more, it really did sound like that guy just asked you rhetorical questions, which is so frustrating. Like that's so so annoying.

Like, let me get out of the [expletive] car and fight you right now, because I will. Like, I don't want to, but I will.

I just who picks a fight like that? You're old. What is he gonna do? You know? Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, uh, you know who can afford to pay for our Patreon subscription? Who? Bruce Wayne. The Wainster. Yeah, the fictional uh character who would never ever be interested in. Do cuddling show. Oh, I mean be interested in our show. Got it. Um, yeah, we're gonna do more PTSD, and we're gonna go back to the Batman character that you did um based off of Pete Holmes. Pete Holmes is Batman character based off Christian Bale's Batman character. So Nate's take of Christian Bale's take of Batman. Pete Holmes' take of Christian Bale's take of Batman. Right, Red Bush, Red Bush. So, what are we thinking for premise tonight?

Now, in the last episode, we talked about how Bain is a homosexual and how Dick Grayson could possibly maybe have those kind of feelings. So Bruce was thinking maybe not an intervention, but like the opposite kind of deal, like an introduction into hey, here's a lifestyle choice for you if you're interested. This is obviously a gay guy that I know, so maybe he can help you through like a mentor kind of deal. I don't know. I've never actually done anything like this before.

So I'm assuming Bruce Wayne would do something like this. I think it's I think it's a very interesting concept. You know, ever since we talked about the Batman going down on Catwoman fiasco, right? You know, it makes me ask these questions.

Like, you know, side note, Nate, would you honestly be interested in something like that when you were a kid and you like you knew like what your sexual preference was? Like, would you be interested in like having this guy, like or maybe a lady or something, who whatever, like kind of introduce you to the world and be like, no, it's okay, like a mentor kind of deal. Like, would that have even interested you at that? I don't know why.

That's a weird question. Um uh like a gay mentor. Um, that's kind of weird. That is weird, right? Sounds real creepy. Yeah, it's pretty creepy. I think what would be better is just like seeing. Gay people more in like TV shows and stuff. That's not the like stereotypical. No, we don't. No, we don't. No. We get the like funny gay best friend who's well dressed. Like, I'm not well dressed, Nate. Have you ever noticed? Sometimes I don't even put clothes on. No, I've seen Queer Eye, and every gay dude is that bearded guy with the long hair who does the like the front flip splits or whatever. All that guy. I don't even have much hair like on my head. I thought you were hiding it. No, the Merkin is another story. But no.

It's just flowing and free. Going back to your question, like I think it's like the whole right Batman and Robin relationship always been kind of interesting, right? It's supposed to be more like an adopted father figure, right? Probably leave it at that. But when you introduce tights, when you do you know other stuff, when you bring him into your basement and dress him up for your fancy. Questions are flying. Questions are flying. Um Chris, uh, you're kind of a Batman expert, honestly. Uh we didn't you weren't here for the other episode, but has ever like has it ever come up kind of where like they go more into like Batman and either any of the Robins relationships beyond just like I think like Nightwing, he has like the which which one is that?

Is that Dick Grayson? Yes. That's probably like the most time they've spent, maybe, on like a relationship between the two. I feel like they don't focus on it, do they? You mean between Batman and Yeah, like and more than just like the the professional relationship, but like where the [expletive] does that kid go? Like the rest of the Who's raising this kid? Yeah. What's and who's like do people notice? Is it is it Alfred? Like, what's going on? I need to know some actual [expletive] history here. I think it's mostly Alfred that takes care of them, and I think for the most part it's boarding schools and stuff like that that they do. So they get like a normal education, but they're pretty much home all the time.

So he funds them like to go to boarding school, but also but I think they're also home all the time. And then right. See, a lot of this isn't making sense. You can't tell me boarding school, but you're home and still train fraud. Yeah, they they don't get into it too much. Exactly. If you're over, so I like this concept that Bruce is actually like cares about his well-being and noticing his tendency to wear the tights that he sized up for him specifically. Went back to the small ones. Went back to the small one. He just wants to he just wants the best for her young [expletive]. And he doesn't know how to go about it. He doesn't know how to go about it.

So he calls in the only two friends he really has, which is Commissioner Gordon, played by Chris, the posse, and uh and then I'm going to do Bane because I'm gay, and I guess that's the only role I can actually do, uh, according to Nate.

I never said that. You can do women voices if you really tried. Tap into it. I've seen queer eye, tap into it.

Okay, so I've actually tried to sign you up for queer, just so you know. Oh my god. Just because I think it'd be hilarious. Do you think I need a makeover? No, I think it would just be really funny because like I think you'd both be like really offended and resistant, but also like very like engaged at the same time. Like, I think I think you would have like your own [expletive] like uh awakening. Right. They've never dealt with something like that. And it's not like what we would want. It would just be like something more weird and and bizarre. I'd come back on the show and be more hype maintenance. Like, you see me in a [expletive] three-piece suit and [expletive]. Yeah, and like my hair would always be done.

But you're like worse to me too, for some reason, because you're like, you think you understand gays and then I'm not gay enough. Yeah, you're not even that gay. Uh like I've met gay, like six dudes. You're not even close to them. Isn't it five? Anyway, listen, so the premise tonight. The premise tonight is a reverse intervention at Bruce Wayne's house. Yep. He is not Batman, but he's Bruce Wayne. He's Bruce Wayne, and he invites Gordon and uh Bain. Yes. And does Gordon know he's Batman? Does does are we in this in this scenario? I don't know. What are we deciding? Is Gordon in on it or not in on it? I'd say no. Doesn't know. Just there because Bruce is a benefactor for the police. And I'm gonna say the same thing.

I'm gonna say that like Bruce paid for like Bane's treatment, like conversion treatment, whatever. Trying to get him. Or like rehabilitation to get him off of yeah, of the Venom. The Venom, yeah. Which the Venom is is men. Jeez. Basically, that's what we got. It got a little weird last time. This is why you need to be here, guys. Uh all right.

So uh with that, we'll uh oh and then also uh in the theater of our mind, I'm picturing us at that super long, like 20-person table, and like Batman's way at the head of it, and everybody else is kind of at the back.

So I might have to yell a little bit. Well, everybody else is down there.

Okay. Um, so are we and we just are we just starting at the dinner table? Um, or like Udo you want to do like intros where like they walk in like dang. Yeah, we'll say like Alfred just walked us in the room. He's not with us, but he just like like pointed us down the hall and we we arrived. Okay. So um and I I guess Bane will be the outgoing person for something like uh hello, Mr. Wayne. Yes, Bane, is that you? Yes, yes. Uh is I Bane and also uh Commissioner Coden.

Oh, I'm glad both of you can make it at dinner. Please have a seat, but down there, away from me. I don't want to catch what you got.

I mean, over what what I what I got, what do you what do you mean?

Well I'll get into that in due time. Please have a seat. There's lobster thermidor coming out on the on the placard there. It's very fancy for you.

There's just one chair and there's two of us.

If you want to participate, I just don't know what exactly the the the format.

Oh, sorry, I thought you guys were just gonna sit on each other's laps. Uh, I don't know how all this stuff works.

Wait, do you think we're together?

Yeah, that's not how it goes.

I have a wife and kids. Oh. Barbara, she's very nice.

I read an article about cover-ups. How closeted men.

Oh my god, he's not my beard.

Oh, what is you invited him? You have a beard? Where's a beard?

No one else. Never mind.

Alfred brings him, bring in more chairs, Alfred. Alpha, bring in chairs. I know, I'm gonna write this down. What's a beard?

Okay.

I I'm confused, Mr. Wayne. Why did you bring us here? I'm I mean, I'm very grateful for the rehabilitation. Uh it's been nice being off Venom. Um for uh He looks at his little like badge and it's like 36 days off. Yeah, it's like the Alcoholics Anonymous, like 36 days off of Venom.

Commissioner Gordon, you're a detective. You uh tell Bainwise here. Uh I don't know why I'm here. Ah, you're getting warmer.

Uh okay. Yeah, work though. I imagine Gordon's in the middle of the table. Like so he's on the side in the middle, facing no one, and then it's Bane all the way. And then Batman and Bruce on the other side.

There you go. Work your way through it. Okay. Um You have no friends. Oh, you that is? Wait, that's no, that's not true.

No, it's true. Recently, the Gotham magazine rated you number one in the least likable, least friendly, least outgoing rich people. That's terrible. That's not me. I read a lot of magazines in prison, it's very nice.

They must be talking about Bruce Payne. Not Bruce Wayne.

Who's Bruce Payne?

He's an alter ego, I mean. So so it's you. Well, that's not me.

You just said it was you.

I can't. Am I not hearing correctly?

You're already. It sounds like he's saying his name, but with a different it's very far. I was wondering maybe we could sit closer.

Where's where's my [expletive]? [expletive]? Where's my [expletive]? [expletive], get in here.

No, I I'm off the venom.

No, that's fine. [expletive], go sit down next to gay bane.

It's just bane. I just I just go by pain now.

Did you say vein? That's disgusting. We're not talking like this on my dinner table.

I'm very con- Why are we here? I'm getting very frustrated.

I'm still waiting on Commissioner Gordon to answer that question.

Buckle up, Chris. This is gonna be 30 more minutes. It does not get better. But it's really okay.

I'm gonna say uh [expletive] comes sauntering into the room. Saunter. It's like skipping. Sashaying. Sashaying into the room. Listening to whatever [expletive] Vogue song. Whatever.

Yeah, you're gonna be [expletive], by the way.

Uh I'm [expletive] [expletive] now, too. Okay.

Is that too much for your voice? No. For your delicate uh vocal. It's gonna be [expletive] uh what's his name?

Well, how's it going, Mr. Bane? What's going on here? What's going on?

Oh, good young Grayson. Uh good to see you ever since that time you kicked my ass and sent me to prison.

Yeah, I was really fun, right? Well, Batman told me about the time that you broke his back in that weird prison thing and stuff. I was like, I need to help in there and get in there, you know, and try to help out as much as I can.

That's why I put on my tight tights.

Yes, I think maybe that's Chris and Gordon. Is that why we're here? I don't I still don't really, really understand. It seems that way. That's exactly the way you're here. What was that?

Sounds like you're mumbling. Uh no. Sorry, I was eating. Does he always talk like this, [expletive]? Hold on, let me give my megaphone. [expletive]! Do I always talk like this?

Well, I think so, man. I I sure do hate talking to myself, but you talk to yourself a lot, you know. Sometimes you have conversations with multiple people going back and forth, and now, Bane, tell [expletive] about [expletive].

He's interested. Look at him. He's got that glint in his eye, you know, that gay sparkle.

Is this are are you trying to make young Grayson come out?

Yeah, that's the point. I just want him to accept himself.

And you invited me as uh some kind of gay mentor. Yes. Even though I'm off the venom now.

No, but you love it, and you always loved it. And also, Commissioner Gordon's here. Because I was afraid to do this on my own. Alfred, get out of here. Cramping my style.

Okay, well, uh gosh, I don't even really I feel obligated to do this very bizarre thing because you paid for my treatment.

Yeah, um it's a lot of money.

So, well, young Grayson, uh, you know, whoever you are, whatever you are, you know, it's you know it can be it's more of a spectrum, you know. You just you don't have to be one or the other, it can be somewhere in between. But listen, um, this is really awkward. I'd I'd really rather be taking leaf of doses of venom than really trying to explain to a child about sexuality.

I don't really know what's going on or why we're doing [expletive], [expletive], shut up.

Shoot, Commissioner Gordon, should we watch Glee?

What?

Should we watch Glee? Like, would that break the ice if we all sat around and watched Glee? Do we Glee?

Are you Oh my god, are you staring? It it is 2021, Bruce.

Glee's been off the air for over a decade. I haven't done TV. How many of the kids from Glee have died? One kills himself in prison for being a diddler.

I have the box set.

One drowned.

Okay, I've I've we all know I'm really out of touch on this. Now, [expletive], please explain yourself to Bane.

Well, I don't know, man. I'm just kind of here and sitting here out like wearing the tights and I like fighting crime. I don't know what that has to do with with who I like or anything. I'm kind of a young kid and I don't really like anybody at this point, you know. I don't I don't know what else you want me to say. That sounds perfectly reasonable.

I think you go to Ben, you shut your [expletive] mouth, you're a criminal. And you don't talk to him unless I tell you first. Now, Commissioner Gordon, tell us all why we're here.

Is this how these normally go?

Commissioner Gordon, did I start? I want to say the doorbell rings, and then like I I really enjoyed no one voicing Alfred, but basically somebody would just be like, uh, Master Alfred [expletive]'s girlfriend is here. The cover.

The beard. I don't know this the lingo yet. Who's this [expletive]? What's she doing in my house?

What appears to be the the girl that uh young Grayson's dating? Is this your girlfriend? Are you going on a date?

Oh yeah, golly gee, mister.

I'm we said we were gonna go watch the movies together, and I think she's just swell, you know? And by swell, do you mean like you want to dress up and do her makeup, or you would like to uh No, he says swell.

Like what should be happening in his pants, but it's not. Because he's not sexually attracted to women. There's no swelling going on down there. I'm a detective, I know. Hey, Commissioner Gordon, can you back me up?

What do you mean you're a detective? You're a billionaire playboy.

Oh, I mean, sorry, Commissioner Gordon, can you check [expletive]'s pants and see if there's any swelling? We're gonna be making this weird dog. No, you're making this weird.

I just feel like I'm putting a pressure on the boy that doesn't need to be there. He doesn't need to be there. There's no pressure!

There's no pressure You shut the [expletive] up. Rachel, Rachel's your [expletive] now.

So can I just leave? No.

No. You sit down, you and your laps are thermidor, and you tell [expletive] about [expletive]. Now Commissioner, why are we all here? I'm lonely. I'm so lonely.

I think that's why we're here. I'm so lonely.

Why? I tried owning a cat and he [expletive] ran away.

Wow, this is a lot more than I can really handle.

I'm so sorry about this, Jenny. I should have met you at the door.

We should have never taken shut up. No, Payne. Tell Jenny she looks fat in that dress.

And I think we're gonna stop that segment of BTS D. Um You know what? It's a [expletive] short episode, [expletive] deal with this, [expletive] deal with it. Um this is what happens when we have just like a very basic premise and then nothing. Literally nothing. Yeah, nothing comes up.

Like, oh, that's a fun idea, let's [expletive] it up.

Yeah. It's you know, we're full of ideas here. Follow through. Not so much. I'm crying, but I mean just imagine. I mean, if it was that whatever that was, you know, without prep, it could be even more whatever that was with prep. Imagine if that was real. Yeah, if anything, that was really true to life, because if you were ever in that situation, yeah, it'd be real awkward. Yeah, you know, it's awful. And you know what's crazy? I'm sure there have been situations like that. Oh, yeah, for sure. Like, so you know the one that like many gay people like my age probably deal with is I would go to my grandparents and that I love my grandmother. Um, but she used to always be like dating any girls, like and classic.

I was just really focused on my schoolwork, grandma. Like, because you know, obviously I wasn't gonna be like flaming homosexual grandma, not really interested in the lady, uh like I don't know, like check out these ass shapes.

Yeah, like I know like grandpa's about to pray in 30 minutes, it's probably not a great time to like man, like I loved her, and you know, to this day, she finally she's passed now, and we had this interesting moment where right before, like maybe within a year or two before she passed, she I she knew she knew, and we went to cook dinner, or we I was cleaning up after dinner, and she was like cleaning up, and she's just we were just talking and just out of nowhere, she just I think she just had to say it. She was just kind of like, just want you know I know. And I was just like honestly, I wasn't totally I was zoned out a little bit, so it's like okay, grandma.

And I was like, Oh, um, and then we just kept talking, and that was kind of it, and I never really got to like talk about it all. But anyway, I think she knew the whole time and was like just [expletive] with you because that's what grandma's that's kind of where I'm going with it. Of I I think it was a pressure, and maybe it was good, right? I'm not necessarily saying it's negative, right? Maybe she was just trying to get me to be open about it, you know, like say it. Um, but like, you know, it was it was definitely so that that's like as funny as that situation was.

I bet there's awkward situations, like, not exactly like that, but I totally bet where the dad's like, no, no, he's totally gonna go out with a girl this weekend. Like, yeah, I definitely am, but like, oh, but you always hang out with your buds. Like, and then the mom's like, I'm pretty sure you're just gonna hang out with Kevin. Like, no, he's definitely like, I'm sure that happens. He's gonna pound that chick. Yeah, exactly.

Back in my day, I pounded 20 chicks in one night.

I I bet you, Nate, that that conversation has happened at many dinner games. Many. I promise you. So this whole situation, as ridiculous as it was, probably not really happened somewhere out there. Not happening.

Not Bruce Wayne or Bain.

What was it you said to me the other day? I I made a joke because that we think there's someone in our family, like when it's really young, we're like, oh, maybe there's like signs or whatever. And you're like, honestly, that's so boring now. Like, what was it? Like, can you quote like what you said that I thought was actually funny, but also like no, no, you're like, unless you're like a non-binary, like cyber, like like robojock pirate, you like it's really just not even that interesting anymore. And like, great, that's where we need to get it to be, where like you don't have to come out, it doesn't really matter, you don't have to announce whether you're gay, whether you're straight, it just doesn't matter.

You just kind of you date somebody, you bring someone home that day, cool. If it's a guy, if it's a girl, whatever. Like, right. Hopefully that's where we're getting. Because now I'm at the point where if somebody's like, I'm gay, like I'll wait and be like, okay, is there's gotta be more because otherwise, what's the [expletive] point of the stuff? Oh, yeah, I'm this conversation. Like, and that will and that's something I I I've found to get kind of serious. Like, my generation now is in like a people my age are a little bit more like normalized now because it's more common, but just like a couple years older than us, and they're like they were a bit more closeted, and so they're a bit overly open now.

Not that you ever have to be ashamed of who you are, but it's almost like it comes up far more like I'm not like Nate, I have blue eyes, and I want you to know that I have blue eyes and I'm proud of my blue eyes, you know. Like, it doesn't make sense, right? And that's kind of sometimes what we're seeing now with like the older generations of like the very stereotypical, flamboyant gay people, right? And I I mean some of them like got married because that's what you did back then, and then they live these lives, so I think they're just making up for it in overtime now. But uh, I think hopefully we're just getting to a point where it doesn't [expletive] matter.

You don't need to come out, you don't need uh an intervention, you don't need to come out. Your grandmother doesn't have to blindside you after dinner one day with it, and it can just be it is what it is. So hopefully we're getting to that.

Label this our Nat One Pro Gay episode.

Ooh, yeah, a little political.

Maybe we'll get a bump in [expletive] ratings. Who [expletive] knows? You know, the people who are watching this right now obviously don't give two [expletive] about it.

I I'm not blowing. I'm not below it. All right. Like we're going to Comic Con and I'm gonna wear at least one of those days a slutty [expletive] cosplay, and I'm gonna work it. So if it gets us listeners, great, and if it doesn't, also great. You want me to pay it to the gay community?

I'll be like, maybe.

You'll just you'll just be no Swaratsu. You're gonna be making mint and Julia upside of the booth.

Let me just cross up this mint in here. It's called muddling the room.

One last note though, I will say now you have a new secret weapon, though. Uh, if anyone like over the age of like 50 harasses you, just tell them you're here to see gay neighbor your gay neighbors. Right. And they'll just put both their hands up in the whoa, whoa, whoa.

Um swear, he just stood there, like I said, freeze [expletive]. Whoa!

That's like such a weird reaction to have, you know. Like words could hurt him, and those words hurt him. But what does that mean? Do you like do you think he's pondering right now, like over a puzzle, just like wondering? Do you think he's got like a map of the neighborhood and he's like crossing like houses? Yeah, he's like, Where could the gays be? Yeah, he'll never find us because our plants are dying. We like haven't done any yard work, like our house doesn't look welcoming at all. Like these the we're the last house that I expect. He's like even though there's just two guys living here.

He's like, Where the [expletive]'s that rainbow flag? Yeah, they always flaunt themselves about where are they?

We we had we had another this is gonna be the gay episode, whatever. Yeah, [expletive] it. It's the gay episode. We we had an appraisal or an appraiser come because we're refinancing our house and they appraised our house, and the woman uh very boldly uh basically was just like, You guys are so cute. She's like, My son and his fiance, they didn't get married, and me and me and David both like pause for a sec. I think both the thought like crossed our mind of being like, Oh, we're not gay. Like we're roommates, we're just brothers, like or just like you know, like with like pictures of us like kissing in the background, like or something funny. Um from Kentucky, we're brothers. We're from the south, yeah. Deep South.

We're you know, we're in a red state, so you never know what we're gonna get here. You know, we've got the neighbor put his hands up in the air, like whoa, whoa, whoa. Or you can have the appraiser who just starts telling me about her son's vacation and when they're gonna get married. I really don't I think that's Tucson, right? Where we we want to just get away with it, but yeah, that's fine. I think it's nobody listen to the show. Nobody listens to the show, anyway.

But it's a weird melting pot, like depending where you're at.

So it goes, yeah. I I really don't know where I work in a lot of weird areas. Like that one time I told you about the two gay dudes, they were apparently nudists as well. And you know your [expletive] power's out, and I'm coming by, you don't need to flop that thing around at me. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's that's just really like rude and gross.

Yeah, I was really bummed out that day when I told you about it.

Yeah. You encounter some weird stuff. We did a whole like episode where I just talked about my job, but I think we need to do that for you because yours would actually be entertaining, right? Mine was just maybe kind of helpful, right?

I don't know how much of that I could really get into.

I don't want to say the company where I work or it's true. Because somebody's listening out. Nightbot. Nightbot. What if Nightbot is the CEO? I don't know. I don't think he is.

That's why I'm whispering right now because he's definitely wait, he is on the Patreon. He could be watching me. I don't know why I'm whispering. My name's Chris.

Well, thanks for listening. Uh, whatever this was. Gay Pride episode. Gay Pride episode. Socket out of nowhere. Yeah, we'll just we'll just play that every what what I don't need. I'm such a bad guy. I don't even know what gay pride month is. It was changed. Call dog or something like that. It's different. It is different like per [expletive] city. So that's why, yeah. Weird. And I think, yeah, so who knows?

You guys need like a national thing, like group together, make it like a national holiday. Yeah, gay thing.

Because I know on Hulu it was like gay for a long time on Hulu. For roughly used to it. It's the agenda. Like, you know, like we're getting a category in every streaming channel. Well, it doesn't bother me. Yeah. All right. Why are you calling me up? It's just well, because you say it doesn't bother you, and like you didn't have to say that, but then when you say it doesn't bother you, kind of like that. Where are we going with this? I don't know. Listen, you enjoyed the show. Commissioner Gordon. Commissioner Gordon. Where are we going with? Go with this. If you enjoyed the show, it's shocking. But go ahead, uh, follow us on social media, send us a comment, Nat One Presents, Nat Onepresents.com, Instagram.com slash Nat One Presents, whatever. Become a patron.

Uh for one dollar. You can just support the show, get us money so that maybe one day we might plan a [expletive] episode and it goes somewhere.

On the next episode, I will show you how to make a mint julep.

Oh my god, I would pay for that. Uh thanks for listening, and we will talk to you next week. Bye. Thank you.

Just a dog.