Roleplay for Three | The Heist 2: Boozie's Revenge

Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents Daft Monks the Podcast. Tonight is a very special episode of Call of Cthulhu. Hey Nate and hey, special guest Donnie. How's it going?

Welcome to the show, Donnie. I'm so excited to be here, but I'm so nervous. Fun fact Donnie is probably our only not bot fan or listener of the show. Everybody else I have paid, and they're just little stream farms in India increasing our listens. But Donnie's real.

I could be Nightbot. Nobody knows.

As I say, jokes on you. Nightbot is me. Before we even knew Donnie.

That's how popular we are. So, like I said, um, tonight is a special Call of Cthulhu episode, but we will still do uh Nat 1 banter-esque things before we get started. Nate, is there anything you wish to bring up for the banter?

No.

Fair enough. Donnie, how long have you loved Nat 1 Presents, Deaf Monks?

Honestly, since I knew about it, so that's maybe like six months, but but I went back and re-listened to a lot of it. So, you know, plenty of content.

Fair enough. Better than that quitter, Kyle, that used to be our number one super fan. [expletive] you, Kyle.

He interacted too. Like, even though we made a whole episode about how not to build a ranger, this dude went out and built a ranger.

Absolutely. He did not listen. I know. Donnie's different though.

Yeah, he's a real super fan.

I mean, he doesn't pay us any money, and I'm paying him to be here tonight, but he's he's different.

Paying me with smiles and love.

Paying you with a free pass to Comic-Con if you want to take it.

That's true. And like I said, first time going to that, that would be frickin' amazing. You should really consider it. You should also help work the booth.

Yes, that way I don't have to be there.

So, how'd you get started? Well, it all started when I started listening, and that's as far as my story goes. But I'm here now. And they started using me like a piece of paper. And see, if if you listen to Nat 1%, you could be here right now. But no.

That's right. All listeners are also future employees of Nat 1%.

Is it employees or endangered servants?

Healthcare not included. Yeah, no, you don't get that.

Welcome to Disney.

I went to Disney on Thanksgiving last year, and I'm like, everybody's gonna be with their families. No one's gonna be at Disney on Thanksgiving. No. No one gives a [expletive], and a lot of people had to work to serve people like me who just decided I'm gonna take a vacation on a family holiday. So yikes. Uh I learned my lesson. Also, I should probably just not be that person that does that.

Did you go to Disney World or Disneyland?

Uh Disneyland, I mean, given our, you know, our geographic location. But uh growing up, I was from the East Coast, so we we did go to World. And World is a thousand times better. I'm not gonna lie.

I've never been to World.

[Editorial omission.] Disney World is way, way, way, way better. It also tends to have newer rides, like better technology.

See, and I heard that a lot of the rides in Disneyland though, like they're just generally better, but I've only been to Disneyland. Like, that's my bucket list, though, is to go to every single one of the Disney parks. But I'm a broke boy, so you know.

You got well, you gotta figure out soon because they're closing down Animal Kingdom in Disney World. So what? You yeah, I I that might have been a rumor on the internet. I did not fact check that at all, but I'm hearing they're getting rid of Animal Kingdom and then doing something else. So I would I would go before that closes. But so like two, there is five parks in Disney World, and there is two in Disneyland. And I have to be honest, California Adventure is meh. Yeah, it has a couple good rides, but like there's maybe four to five things I go do there. There's a lot of like you can drink alcohol here, and there's a lot of kids.

I was just saying, once you get plastered though, it's a whole different world. Like, that's all I'm saying. You sit there, slam like four beers, and then go on the Incredit Coaster, and your mind is blown, mostly because you can't see straight, but still, it's great. Valid.

That's why SeaWorld was so good. I remember going at 18 with mom and dad, and I was like, I'm gonna try to buy a beer, and they didn't even card me at 18 at SeaWorld. So I'm just drunk as [expletive] walking around SeaWorld, like yeah, shamu. Woo!

They'll spend 30 minutes telling you how you have what you have to do to like keep a species alive, uh like an endangered like sea species, but they'll sell you alcohol like in a heartbeat. I did not realize I went to SeaWorld last year for the first time because I got free tickets being a national guardsman. Um, and so I was like, all right, [expletive] it. I'll I'll do like on the way back from Disney. I'll hit up SeaWorld. I did not realize that it was a theme park as well. Like there were so many like rides and like carnival games. It's yeah, it's almost it reminded me of like being at like a county fair, but there's also like pumping aquatic animals, yeah. But there's also like whales and stuff.

So I was like, oh, I was thinking like a really sterile, white, smelly, giant, circular Ray.

That's uh basically how I thought of it.

Yeah, no, but it's like all outside with like different stadiums for like for the or you know, seating areas for like the fish stuff, but then there's like tons of like there's like that rye that like shoots you up in the air, and like there's like like tons of carnival games that you would find in uh I don't know, it was like if you have kids, it's actually pretty well-rounded in terms of like there's some learning stuff, there's some like thrill stuff, there's some just games and [expletive]. Like I thought it was like a well-rounded, I'll never go there again, except like zoos or aquariums.

So yeah, I would just want to go for the penguins, like kidnap a penguin, call it good. Yep, get him out of there. Exactly. Do your part.

The splash zone was great. I love how they market the splash zone, but then it splashes out of the splash zone. Like, you don't know what this whale's gonna do. You don't know how much he weighs, you don't know the kind of water displacement that he's gonna perform on said trick, and we got wet. It was great. Great time.

You are the grumpiest person I ever like. Nate seems so fun, and at the same time, he is so high maintenance and just grumpy.

Oh, let me tell you about the San Diego Zoo. Like, um, why does it have to have so many ups and downs? You know, why can't it be flat? Why does it have to be so much hiking? I didn't sign up for hiking when I went to the San Diego Zoo. I wore shorts and I chafed. It was awful. That's my take on the San Diego Zoo.

Never been same.

Well, you guys aren't [expletive] missing out. It's uh animals in cages and then a lot of hiking, so it's miserable for both parties. See, but that's the adventure. You have to try to break them out of the cages, you know? Nope, didn't want to do that. I was drunk there too.

Which zoo was Harambe at?

Ooh, I don't remember. RIP Harambe. RIP RIP. Yep. All right. Okay, so shifting topics. Um, me and Nate obviously have played Call of Cthulhu before, actually, our version. But Donnie, have you played Call of Cthulhu before?

Just started the video game, and other than that, nope. I just made my character, and holy crap, was that some work, but at the same time, it was definitely a lot more interesting than just a quick roll of the die on DD.

Well, the good news is the game's irrelevant, so you have no experience whatsoever. Um, and then yeah, the bad news is I'd rather do calculus than make a call a Cthulhu sheet.

Oh, and that's saying something. I love it. No, I I definitely had some fun with it. It was definitely like the more I look at my stats and everything, the more I'm like, oh man, I really messed up.

Like, I love how everybody took a little bit to uh drive auto, even though this is a boat one-shot adventure. That was great.

It's got a steering wheel, right? Like that that's all you need.

That potentially you have a point. You have a point. So with today's adventure, um, unlike previous iterations of us playing Call of Cthulhu, we are going to try to stick to the rules more closely tonight because obviously not one percent Staff Monks Podcast is growing in popularity because it's super awesome, fun, adventurous show. And we don't want to step on anybody's [expletive] toes. So we are going to be playing close err emphasis on the err to the rules. Mostly it's mostly how we normally play, except for the fighting is a little bit different for those of you listening at home. Normally when we fight well, if I'm gonna be [expletive] honest, Nate doesn't even fight any of these [expletive] monsters that we come across. I don't need to he doesn't even [expletive] see them.

It doesn't [expletive] matter.

I think with my mind, Nate.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. So tonight is gonna be a little bit different. I've written the story in a way that you will have to eventually fight [expletive] something, even if it's a [expletive] fish. I don't give a [expletive]. You're gonna fight something, and then we're going to follow the appropriate rules. Sure. It's out the window, it's done. We gave up on it.

I I just want to say, Nate, I mean, obviously, you're very bitter about the last session. We're not gonna recap. Go back and listen to the heist episode. This is a sequel to that episode. And yes, basically, I A did not feel like making character sheets, so I took like a janitor and used that. I had stats that made no sense, and then somehow passed every single sanity, past when I when I shouldn't have and failed when I should have. And so I basically totally steamrolled Nate's story, and he's upset about it. But I was not doing it intentionally. The the gods and the fate and the die decided, and tonight we're gonna let them decide again, Nate.

It's true. But tonight I have a secret weapon. The box that I am rolling my dice into is actually the box from It is the box!

The return of the box.

I'll send you a picture later. That's the box that I am using, is the box that I made for a previous adventure of our Call of Cthulhu escapades. So that is going to steer in my direction, I guarantee it.

I miss season one nate. Season one nate made props, was committed to the podcast, put effort in, and created a box to actually roll dice and be a pivotal point of many episodes of Call of Cthulhu. Now I can barely get him to show up to panels on our podcast at live events. It's crazy.

It's true. You move eight hours away, and it's extremely difficult to do extra curriculars.

We'll say it's moving, sure. We'll go with that. It wasn't much, it wasn't much different when you were in Tucson, but the the eight hours doesn't help. That's fair.

Damn it, Nate. You and your sense making. I blame the schools, you know. Me too. Oh, crazy thing. Uh Corvin actually had a um school shooter scare the other day. Oh, no, at a private Christian school, believe it or not. And it was not bad enough for us to be informed by the school. We just heard because Nate, uh, me and Donnie live in Promp, Nevada, and it is a small town throwdown kind of place here. So we didn't even hear about it from the school. We heard about it from a mother of another student, and then it just went to [expletive]. Mostly because my mom gets involved. And as you know, Nate, from her episode where she starred, co-starred on uh I think it was the SK Pierce House episode.

Yes, ma'am.

Um, she is a hot gossip and is involved in everything. Mom, I know you listened to the show, and don't deny it. You are a gossip, and that is where I get it from. So as soon as there's any hearsay about anything, we're the first ones to hear about it. Like if Corvin Corvin will never say a cuss word, but if he did, mom would find out, and then I would find out immediately after. So he's not safe at all.

So do you want to talk about the actual like shooter part or just how much your mom is a gossip? I'm gonna be invested in the actual story here. Oh, okay.

The actual story was that um it was hearsay that a fifth um excuse me, sixth grader, which is what Corvin is in, sixth grade, had a gun on school. And then me and Megan immediately read that and were like, we know every single one of those kids in Corbin's class. And not one of them is gonna bring a [expletive] gun to school. Like, get the [expletive] out of here. So we knew we weren't worried about it. But then the cops still did show up and then do their investigation, which thank goodness is the right thing to do. And then now, come to find out that school, the private Christian school that he goes to was not on their rounds of checks, of security checks.

Yeah, Jesus got them. They don't need to worry about shooters, right?

Apparently, that was their thoughts behind it.

Did you guys have those drills, active shooter drills? I I did when I was in um as early as I just want to say like middle school, they became like predominant, at least like where I grew up. Did you guys do those as kids?

No, no, we did a bunch of bomb drills, but that was it. Like people would always call in bomb threats like at least once a year. That way we could get out of school.

There are 200 and some shootings a year. How many school bombings are there a year? And you guys are doing it.

Hey, welcome to Peromp, the free voted freest town in the US or whatever it was.

Like it's absolutely wild wild west where you guys live. Well, okay, so let me tell you in a blue state, what we do as children is we prepare for these things. And it's it's pretty ridiculous. So, first of all, that we do drills just like a fire drill. We would do drills for active shooter, and they would say things, they would have a code name. So they'd be like, and this is literally this name I'm about to say is the name they used at my school. They'd say, Dr. Bacon, please report to the office. I don't know why they said bacon. That made it way less serious and totally kind of invalidated the whole exercise, but they would do it twice, not just once, in case there was a real Dr. Bacon.

They would they would do it twice, which is then you know, oh [expletive]. So then the teacher would lock the door, and then what they would do is you were supposed to like you know, if if you're like facing the door, you want to be like up on the wall that the door is on, like off to the side. So that they like if they're trying to like yeah, it's like which that always kind of got me if they're like the shooter's gonna come in and be like, nobody's here today. Like it must have been an a vacation day, or we must have uh had a snow day. You know, it's like suddenly nobody like all the cars are outside, but nobody's here.

[Editorial omission.] But I think they were thinking like maybe they can like shoot through that hole or some [expletive]. And then it was like if there's things like cabinets you can fit into to hide into those, they had a whole thing. And then like a fire drill, you would they have like paths and where you would go and when you would evacuate, and uh that's that's a reality, at least in democratic states.

Yeah, we didn't have anything like that out here in the the mean streets of P Town, as some people call it.

Gotta love those red states. I guess it like Nevada is like now like a purple state, but I'm sure back when you guys went to school it was a red state, I would.

And in Arizona used to be a red state too. I don't know what happened there. Okay. So I think we bantered enough. Do we all agree with that? Sure. Approved. Okay. Now we are going to dive in to Call of Cthulhu, the Heist, Part 2, the death.

No intro music, guys. Sorry.

Yeah, sorry about that. But this will be the death of Dan, the plan for million. Hopefully.

We'll see. We'll see. I just feel like everything is gonna be gunning for me now. Like if I'm gonna like have to like roll for paper cuts that I'm gonna bleed out during because you're gonna just be out to get me every chance you can.

Okay, I guess we're not done with the banter.

Side note, Donnie. The first time me and Nate actually, Nate, were you I'm pretty sure you were there. The first time ever we played Call of Cthulhu, we had a friend of ours named Don play with us, and he wanted to play it like DD, where you are an unhertable adventurer in a fantasy realm instead of a real person. And he did something with like a bottle, and that bottle cut him open, and he actually bled out before we even found the monster because he kept pushing his luck trying to use a bottle to open a barn door or some [expletive] like that. That is amazing. As soon as that happened, I'm like, man, this Kalakthulu game is my jams and jellies.

Considering you guys only have uh what a whoppin' 14 hit points, and then a glass bottle can do approximately six damage, so almost half your health. I don't think I was there for that one. Oh, you missed out. But we did do the Call of Cthulhu with Jeff, and I know you liked that one.

Yeah, I think I I DM'd that knowing nothing, or uh, I think keeper. I don't know the correct character. Yes, the keeper. Yeah, I knew nothing and I just winged it, and I thought it was a good time.

Oh, you did great, man, for not knowing anything, you know. I thought a great [expletive] time. And then our characters were awesome. My favorite part on that one was when we went into the underground realm and there was a bunch of cave people down there, and my character was a um how do you say it, Nate, sheltered young homeschooled. Yes, a homeschooled teenager kid, like let's say 18. And then the obviously native underground dwellers were nude because they don't need clothes underground.

And I specifically remember when I had the flashlight and I looked at his face and then I scrolled down to his [expletive]. And then I scrolled down to his feet and then back up to his [expletive]. And I was like, Dr. Farragamo, I don't know, man. I'm really confused.

I also what stood out to me, uh, racism's not funny, but when it's like ironic or whatever it is, and we we had this like black professor, and then you were playing Chip, who was like not realizing he would say like casually racist things. I mean, not that we're pushing that agenda. Whenever we do stuff like statements like that, it's a show how stupid that character sounds. But like I kept cracking up like as a right, as like a DM or whatever. I'm supposed to be kind of like objective, but like it was just so funny. The messed up, like I'm pretty sure Chip confused the doctor for like a cave drawing or something.

And then and then Jeff played it so well because he's like, I have a master's degree, like he's he's like, like, I have a doctorate, and like he would just like keep [expletive] on you.

And oh, it was great when we found that tunnel, and then it's like, okay, we need to go research, and everybody else went to research tunnels, and I went to research black holes.

I'm like, Dr. Farragama, what do you think about these black holes, man? Do you know anything about that?

It was so good. Anywho, all right, let's uh this game could last four more hours if we don't get started soon. So get ready. It is time for Call of Cthulhu Net One style.

Bum bum bum. Several months after the events that took place during the bank heist to steal a book of shadows, Dan the Plan once again got the itch, the itch to steal. As if led by fate itself. He just so happened to come across a newspaper article from the Miskatonic News Press. Former Hollywood actress set to return the European artifact. Cheryl Brown, former a list actor and sole survivor of the Arkham Bank Massacre last year, is set to bring back Poseidon's Heart, the largest known sapphire, back to its home in Greece.

Cheryl commented, It's an honor to be chosen to return the heart back to Greece. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was actually a necklace. And they're letting me wear it.

It looks like low-cut tops are going to be the only thing I'm wearing, if nothing at all, darling. Cheryl Brown, survivor, role model. A great choice to represent the United States in this author's opinion. She sets to embark in eight days on the newest ocean liner, the RMS Carpathania. Now we enter. Dan the plan. What are your thoughts?

Cheryl Brown? That name sounds familiar. Hmm. Um, Percival, come here. Does this uh do you know who Cheryl Brown is?

Um, yeah, Cheryl Brown. Um, oh yeah, I remember, Dan. Um, that is actually Boozy. Do you remember Boozy? Boozy Letits.

Hmm.

She was no, no, I remember it was on one of your heists.

It was actually, according to the article, the um massacre at Arkham, the bank. Do you do you remember you stabbed her in the chest and it was actually a cheeseburger? And things were really confusing.

That's right, that's right. That toaster, the fire engine red one, that's uh yeah, that's boozy's. Oh my god. I tried to kill that woman like three times, and she's still alive. I thought she was dead.

Oh, yeah, you complained for weeks about that $2,000 toaster. I remember.

Yeah, we didn't take that money back. We just got a you know, some useless book I walked out with, and like I didn't even follow up on the business transaction. Ridiculous. Huge waste of time. I can't believe she's alive.

Oh, me either. Did you want me to top you off on this seltzer water?

Yes, please, be a good sport.

All right, I'll I'll add a lime wedge.

Thanks, kiddo.

Oh.

Sedan's like reading the newspaper and he like goes back and he's like, sure. Oh, hmm. And then he like rereads the part about uh Neptune's Poseidon. Poseidon. Yes, Poseidon's heart. That is correct.

It said it's the largest known sapphire.

I was just I'm getting confused between talking to Nate and Percival. Thanks, Percival.

You're welcome.

Hmm. Actually, come back here, Percy.

Okay. I'll give you all the information that I have, Dan.

I know we said we were done with that life, you know, with going after things that we can't have, and we have a good life here, a great life. But I think I've been feeling that itch, Percy. You know what I'm talking about?

Dan, you promised your mother you wouldn't do any more heist. You set her up in that home in Florida, you know, and things are looking good here in Massachusetts. I think we should just sit put, you know, in You don't go on any more heist, and then I'm sitting here at home alone wondering where you're at, what's going on, you know, things like that.

I know, Percy. It's just the last heist I just have this deep feeling like it didn't go at all the way it was supposed to go. And I'm not just talking about the fact that I literally didn't get fully compensated for the whole ordeal, but it also just felt like really nothing went according to plan. Even I felt unfulfilled at the end.

Did you really?

No, I'm just kidding. I had a blast. It was great. But listen, Percy, uh, you're you're my house servant and I have needs. So I think it's time to put together a crew.

All right. As far as your crew goes, you only have one message that somebody's been calling and calling, and they said they're waiting for you. I don't really know what that means, but it it's that Wyatt guy, you know, the one that has all the outfits. I I know. But he's ready and raring if you know you're ready.

Let me let me try a few more people. What about like Jackie the Jackal?

Oh, Jackie the Jackal died last year.

Greta the good?

Greta the good. Let me let me look through my Rolodex here. Greta the good, Greta the Good. Oh, died last month. A mysterious case involving some box she was trying to heist.

So you're saying all of my contacts are dead except this Wyatt guy, who I could have sworn I basically put her trading order in.

Well, there's also Mickey the Mime. He's available.

He can't talk, Percy. What am I gonna do with Mickey the Mime?

All I'm saying is he's the best safe cracker since Benny the Brit died in the massacre in Arkham.

Yeah, we're gonna need a safe cracker. Alright, all right. That's a good start, I guess. Uh Pekier thinks, Percy, we're going to Greece, my boy.

Oh, I'm coming on this adventure. Awesome. Woo!

First, though, I need to hit up some people.

All right. I left the number for Wyatt there on the table. And the mime, I don't know how we'll contact him. Oh, look at that. He's working outside of our 20-story building. I see him down there.

Keep your friends close.

And your mime's even closer.

Your mime's even closer. That's a way better phrase. Alright, alright. Let me, let me. Dan goes back to his call, like his study. And he like stands by the phone. He's like, Oh, I promise myself I would never work with this person again. But it's just one more heist, right? I'm like looking in the mirror. I'm not talking to anybody in particular. Just one more heist. Alright. I pick up the phone and I do the right. It's like the spinny. Yeah.

Or even you can call the operator and say, Patch me through to Yeah, let's do that.

Operator.

This is your operator speaking. How may I assist your call?

I need to speak to one Wyatt. Does Wyatt have a last name?

Korshlovsky. What?

Okay, we'll roll with it. Operator, please connect me to one Wyatt Korshlavsky.

Oh, you got it there, friend. Connecting you now to one Wyatt Korshlavsky. You know what? I'm connecting you. Now, here, Danny, do you want to introduce your character Wyatt Korshlovsky and say kind of what he's about for our audience?

So Wyatt Korshlovsky is one that uh Dan has been on one or two missions with before, one of which was mostly from Porto Vanyasco. And with that, he is just a man that kind of followed in Boozy's footsteps and started getting into acting, took it a little too seriously, and spent just about all of his money going into acting school and trying to prove that he's meant to be a distraction. You were just immediately this is Dan.

Yes, this this is Dan. Wyatt, is that is that you?

Oh, I've been waiting for this. I'm broke. I need the money. Please tell me you got something planned.

You know, Dan, the plan has a plan, my friend, and I have been saving you for a very special gig. How do you feel about Greece?

I feel like they got the best Euros.

That's that's true. That's true. Yeah, alright. I I'm putting together a crew where I still have a few others I need to get a hold of. But how soon could you be ready?

Uh, if you look outside, I'm actually hiding behind the bushes.

Damn it. You know I don't know what you look like, Wyatt. I have never seen you out of disguise. And that's what we need to talk about, all right? Boundaries. So it's been a while since I called, and I have reasons, okay? Reasons. I need to know who the [expletive] you are when you do disguises. You can't just like when I go eat at a restaurant and suddenly you're the waiter, and I don't even know. Like, I think you're taking my order, and then it turns out you're doing the plan. Or I go to the bank and you're the teller. Like, can you just [expletive] until we actually execute the heist, can you just be a person, just a human being, not a persona. Can you do that, Wyatt?

If you look outside, you would see like at a phone booth, there's a guy taking off a hat slowly that looks like a police cab. Uh yeah. Yeah, I I think I could do that.

All right, Wyatt. I knew I knew you'd be up for the task, and uh, I've always respected your work. Uh, there's nobody who can fade into an environment quite like yourself. So I think uh think we're gonna do some pretty great things. And uh, well, you remember Boozy, don't you? Yeah, I heard she died. Multiple times, in fact, but like Lazarus, she's risen from the pit wearing a very expensive piece of jewelry, and I think we can get her in on this last heist. I think we have an in. So hurry up and cross the road, I guess. Do you like live on the same road as me? Like, what's going on? How how long has that been going on? No, you know what? Don't explain it.

Just just just meet me, meet me at the front door.

Within like probably not even two minutes, you just hear the door going.

Top, tap, tap, tap. Knock, knock, knock. Percy, uh, can you uh he's here.

Yeah, I'll answer the door. And also, I went ahead and went downstairs and got the mime. He's been waiting in here for about ten minutes, and you haven't acknowledged him. So you know.

He's just like the mime is in the doorway, and he's just like doing like the I'm watching you. Yep. No context there. Great! The gang's all here, and it took seven minutes. That's a new record even for us. Um, if we can be that fast with the heist, then we are gonna be in excellent shape, my friends. Um, come join me in the study. Let's let's talk about what's about to go down.

And with this, the new seven-minute record. Dan, the plan vermilion, must come up with his own plan. How is he going to come to the docks to which the RMS Carpathania is currently residing? He has choices and he must decide.

Couple questions here. What was the name of that ship? Let me write that down.

RMS Carpathania.

[expletive] you guys with the names that I cannot even [expletive] remember. RMS Carpathenia? Yes. RMS Carpathenia. Okay.

The RMS Carpathian was an actual ocean liner that sailed the seas in the 1920s. There is more historical facts along with this story, so stay tuned. Then that one presents the Daft Monks Podcast.

Do I know Boozy will be traveling exactly on that liner?

Yes. According to the newspaper article that you read, she will be departing eight days from now on the RMS Carpathania, and that is going to be in Boston. You are currently residing in Arkham. So Boston is to the south of you a little bit. So potentially you have the option of taking your crew via boat, via car, or via some kind of public transport or anything else that you can think of. To Boston. Boston Harbor, correct. Okay. Where they actually did take ocean liners from in the 1920s.

Well, let's just say there's a train going from Arkham to Boston. Perfect. Esteemed guests. Percy, my houseboy. That's me. Mickey the mime. No need to say anything. He just gives he like gives me the finger. And Wyatt. Yeah, I'm here. We have exactly eight days, my friends, to get to Boston and get aboard the RMS Carpathania. Correct. Now, we don't have currently have tickets or invitations, but I think I can get that worked out in the next eight days or so, probably. However, we are going to need to make haste and get there pretty quickly. So we have eight days to collect up our things, the equipment we'll need for the heist, and get on the train.

Now, my experience on trains is that those go horribly wrong, so we should have uh maybe some some buffer time in there just in case we have to alternate route. So everybody good to drop what you're doing, everybody good to maybe betray and kill our friend Boozy. That seems to be really popular. And any questions, concerns, Wyatt. This is your time to ask questions.

I'm gonna kill that [expletive].

Okay, wow, you went from zero to 60 right away. Good. I like your attitude, but we're also we have a plan and we're gonna follow it. Now, Mickey, yeah, I know I know what you're thinking. Yes, there's gonna be a lot of people on this ship. I mean, how are we gonna steal something so valuable, something so high viz on a really highly densely populated ship? I'll have that worked out and more while we're on the trade. Now, I I didn't really have time to get funding. So, how much cash you guys got on hand?

I got you covered. Really? Yeah, and and during my acting career, I actually amassed a decent amount of money. I've been waiting for this heist. I I knew it would come in handy. You had a career? I thought you went to community college acting classes.

Boozy got me kicked off the set. [expletive] took my hot dogs.

Well, [expletive]. All right, cool. Well, all right, guys, boys, why it's got this. So we have the funding, we have a date. Anything else we need? Chip. This is your chance to. I don't know if you're coming on this heist, I doubt it, but at the same time, I like to keep my little boy toy with me at all times.

No, that's fine. I can come along no problem, man. Like, you just say it and I'll be there.

Awesome. You'll take care of logistics then once I get those planned out.

Sounds good. If you need anything at all, like if you get stuck anywhere, like I'll be there to pop in and be like, hey, maybe we should try this or something. I don't know.

Yes, Mickey, what's your question? We're gonna say he's like acting something out. Oh, Jesus, every time you have to say anything, it's a whole ordeal. Okay, three words. Uh, first word, and he's doing like a motion of like like slitting his throat, and we're like race car. Um, can you just write it down? Okay, great, great. And he has um question about oh, how are we gonna sneak our weapons on board? It's gonna be a very high-profile security event. Just say that, Mickey Jesus.

Oh, I haven't worked out. I open up like a trunk and immediately start pulling out sailors' costumes. I've been preparing. You gotta always be prepared.

So you were outside my house at a payphone, waiting for me to call with a trunk of sailor costumes.

Actually, it looks like it's full of all different kinds of disguises.

Are you homeless, Wyatt? Are you living out of this trunk? Define living out of it.

There's a half-eaten sandwich in there.

But you're also loaded with money. You, my friend, are an enigma, but that's fine. Pack up your things. I guess we don't have to do that, Wyatt. You're already done. So, Mickey, go ahead and pack up your things and uh Percy, let's make haste. We have uh a train to catch.

Sounds good to me, boss man.

And then the party assembles towards Arkham Station where they board the train. Tickets were easy to go to Boston. Uh should only be about maybe an hour or two ride via train.

I got the tickets, boss!

Excellent. Now we still have six days left, but we're gonna need some supplies. I heard there is a new safe. Mickey, are you comfortable with this new equipment? [Editorial omission.] Fine. Alright, so we're good on safe equipment. I guess he has his own kit. What are you thinking for disguises, Wyatt?

I've I've got sailors' costumes. Um, I've got this one that looks exactly like Boozy actually, too, just in case.

Ah, you old fat suit. That'll do.

Yeah, it can never be.

Why why is the one you handed me chaps? There's there's no butt.

I figured that was the only one that would fit you properly.

Fair enough, I'll wear it.

Yeah, I think that works fine, Birxine. No, don't worry about it. Alright. Alright, so being a sailor will work for getting us aboard the ship. I think we're good there. And I know how to smooth talk our way past security. However, I feel like Poseidon's heart is gonna be stored somewhere extra safe, and no average neckerchief sailor is gonna be able to get in there. Whyot. I think you're gonna have to pull off some kind of like rich person that has been exclusively invited and given access to come visit and see the Poseidon Shule in person.

You already see he's putting on like a monocle and like a fake mustache. Oh, I I'm always prepared. And if anything, it comes with this cape too. I I figured that those are still all the rage. I think that's what the kids are saying, right, Percy?

I think so.

I think a baron like yourself with that monocle, very exquisite, would definitely wear a cape in this time period.

See, he understands. Great. So you look like the [expletive] love child of Dracula and the Monopoly Man. Um, what do you got going for an accent?

Righto!

Oh Jesus, I'm having flashbacks to bang the brood already. Okay, fine, whatever, we'll work with that. I think that's good. Now, here's the thing, guys. And this shouldn't be super hard, but I'm gonna have to seduce, as you know, Boosie. Cheryl. Gosh, I don't know what she's going by these days. Now, that might be a little hard because I did try to kill her multiple times unsuccessfully somehow. That woman is loaded with stale food.

You just see me pulling out the sandwich out of the the box. I think I got you covered on that.

Alright, so basically you are we're going all in on Wyatt here. All right, you're gonna be the rich person, so you're gonna seduce Boozy.

Oh no, I'm not seducing her. That is entirely you. I just figure she'd like a sandwich, and that's that you're in.

Oh, I see, I see.

It looks like a Ruben.

That could that might just be basic enough to work. All right. Well, guys, I uh I don't I think rest up because we have a busy few days. We're gonna have to uh there is a art gala tonight, and I think that is our way to get honestly, just as a backup, I'd like to steal some tickets to the RMS Armageddon, whatever the [expletive] it's called. I'd like to get some of those on hand just in case we have some hiccups with security. You know, Dan, the plan, I'd like to have a one, two, three, A, B, C backup plan going. So we'll start at the art gallery tonight. Uh gosh, Mickey, you could just literally be an exhibit in yourself. You know, you'll you'll like stand there and do some stuff.

How's that sound, buddy?

He does like the electric slide.

I don't know what that means, but awesome. All right. Any more questions? Uh otherwise, I'm gonna leave you guys to your preparations and I'm gonna formulate the rest of this plan.

I'm all set.

Good to go, boss. Okay. Percy, will you see me in the room separately?

All right.

Now, Percy. My confidence level in these people are through the roof. No. Oh. Not quite. There's a reason these people have not been on my heist crew in a very long time. But they're all that's left because apparently we all died from some kind of box. So we need a backup plan to the backup plan, okay? Okay. You we've seen the picture films with Wyatt. They are not good.

Yes.

Like we're talking like the actor studio level drama for a waitress. It's not gonna work. So I just need you thinking, Percy. We need a getaway plan and we need to make sure when the time comes, we cut them out of the equation, okay?

Okay.

The old double backstab, whatever.

While you were doing that, boss, I went ahead and went to the library and got the schematics for the RMS Carpathania. Now, there are two lifeboats on this boat, and one of which is easily accessible, and me and you could make the getaway no problem. Excellent.

That's perfect. And there's a second one, so if for some reason they are highly competent at their job, they can use the second getaway.

Yes. Or we could sabotage it and they could die on the boat. It's entirely up to you, Dan, the plan.

Yeah, we'll see. I'd like to leave it up to like I'd like to give them a chance before I assume they're going to absolutely disappoint me.

Sounds good to me. Excellent.

Great job in schematics, by the way. That's probably the first thing I should've done, but that's uh that's why I keep you around, don't I?

Yeah, let's just say I put a that and the other reason. Oh yeah, you know, Dan. I'm here for you no matter what.

Thanks, kiddo. And I like slap his his ass chap.

And with that, Dan had a plan. And him and his crew boarded the train to Boston. And there, it was uneventful. The train made it to Boston Harbor, no problem.

And they unload. You know what's crazy, guys? Usually when I ride a train, I have these terrible nightmares that I'm trapped on it forever, and that there's some chick from the Nile trying to gouge my eyes out. But this went pretty smoothly.

I'd say, Oh, fellas, look at that over there.

And then as the group looks over to where Percy is pointing, Sheila Brown, aka Boozy Latits, is currently boarding the RMS Carpathania, and she is surrounded by approximately five other individuals that seem to Dan's eye to be bodyguards of some sort. Uh I also need everybody to roll a power roll for me, please. Alright, and that's what. So it would be your power, and you just need to roll underneath whatever your power level is. So for you, Donnie, it would be under a 70, and for Dan the Plan, you would have to roll underneath a 60 on your percentile die.

I failed with an 83.

Oh, so Dan the plan, I need you to lose approximately two powers. I got a 61. And you pass Wyatt. Is that the equivalent of like being intimidated by you, Dan the Plan, feel like a wave, like you see boozy and you feel a wave come across you where you suddenly feel cold, and then it's almost like a life force of yourself has been drained. Jesus. And then I also need you to roll a spot hidden check for me, please. Both of you, if you want to.

I passed the spot. Oh. Yeah, I didn't. I rolled a hundred. Oh [expletive]. Yeah, it's a regular pass.

Regular pass. So you, Dan the Plan, need to roll me a sanity check, please. Jeez, uh he's not joking. You gonna die. You are going to die, Dan the Plan.

I just barely by three passed.

Son of a [expletive].

Here we go, baby. Here we go. You can't shake me.

With that spot hidden check, Dan the Plan notices that Boozy Letits seems to be in perfect working order, considering that she survived the massacre in Arkham. But there is something different about her. There is a line across the bottom of her cheek that almost resembles a mask of some sorts. But Dan the Plan, being who he is, is unfazed by said mask-ish appearance of Boozy, and he's probably throwing it out to the makeup or the distance from which he is seeing her.

Good news, gang. Boozy got some cosmetic surgery, but bad news, she still looks like a fat [expletive]. So no, no issues there. There should be nobody hitting on that fat [expletive] except for me. So we are in good shape.

Oh Dan, you hate Boozy, don't you?

It's just something very off-putting about her, you know. It's like it's not even about the 30-some hot dogs she said she ate. Twelve of those were mine. Oh, so that's where this vendetta comes from.

Was it that toilet paper that was on her heel as she was walking up to the steps of the RMS?

Something's never changed, Percy. Now, those bodyguards do look problematic. I'm not gonna lie. I was intimidated, perhaps, or I don't know, deemasculated once I saw those men. I almost feel weak just looking at them, those big buffs. Percy.

Yes?

No, I just sorry, I got distracted. I don't know quite what we're gonna do. We need to make sh I I don't know if the sailor thing is gonna work, just looking at those guys. They look very on point. I think we should pursue the plan to get the the extra tickets.

Okay, well, there's a ticket vendor right over there.

Oh, you mean we can just buy it? This isn't like an exclusive event.

It looks like it. I mean, there's a ticket vendor and there's a guy sitting in there. I mean, why not?

Jesus, guys, I'm real rusty. I haven't done this thing for a year. The whole planning thing, it's just, you know, when your name's Dan the plan, you gotta have good plans, and this is just not going as planned, but that's fine. All right. Uh Wyatt, feel free to go buy all of our tickets and your Mr. Moneybags. I think it's important that you start using your rich guy disguise. I think you really need to start from the start, establishing a presence, okay? You're now, and I don't like your your backstory. I want you to be like Baron von Björnhergen. Baron von Björnhergen. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. You're from Bavaria, and uh you uh something like that. I don't know. Make it work, but I need you to start living that character, okay? Get your monoclot.

Lose the cape. You're not [expletive] Batman.

Maybe you raise [expletive]. Like the the the chickens.

Thank you, Percy.

Right, oh, for chicken fighting. Yeah, that's the one.

Jesus God, is that gonna be your voice, Baron?

What would you like me to change it to, old chap?

Alright, you'll be the Duke. That sounds a little bit more fitting.

The Duke of Von Burenhergen.

Yeah, sure, we'll go with that. Okay, boom. You get your into character, you got your motivations, you're rich. You only person richer than you is boozy with that pendant, and you gotta put her down every chance you get. It's really important that you crush her self-esteem into the ground so that I can then pick her back up with my good looks and charm. Sounds good to me, old chap. Right out. Okay, go get us uh four tickets and be really uh pompous about it. Off you go.

First class, of course. So then, Wyatt, the master of disguise, approaches the ticket booth.

Hello there, governor. I would like to buy four of your finest tickets for this ship, the Armis Carpathania. Of course, I would like the finest establishments of the ship, and Shell Brown being on there. I have to make sure that she understands that I am of a certain royalty.

You just see Dan in the plan in the back, like covering his eyes like stress, like is it migraine? Like, here we [expletive] go.

Percy's giving you a massage. Um I'm sorry, sir, the uh the ticket booth for the RMS Compathenia is currently sold out. But for a man of me, Mr.

Von Bjornhergen, you of course would have a couple of extra tickets set to the side.

Roll in either fast talk or charm for me. Please.

Also, my new favorite phrase, but for a man of me. Stoking like a true royal.

Oh my god.

Uh fast talk. That is a 27.

Oh [expletive]. Holy [expletive]. That is a um super pass. Not an extreme, but a very hard pass. So with that. Alright. I'm not supposed to tell anybody about it, but there actually is a scalper. If you go down around this back alley right here, there's a man who says he has passes. I don't know how many. I don't know how much he's charging, but that's the word on the street, and that's the best I can do for you at this moment.

Right, old old Bean. I do appreciate it. And I slowly look over towards Dan the man and give him a wink.

Give him like a hesitant thumbs up.

So does um Mickey the Mime. And with that, Wyatt, do you slowly saunter over to the dark alley where a mystery man awaits? Oh yeah, and I make my presence, no. Okay. So you sachet your way around the corner being a baron or whatever the [expletive] you are, and you do look down the dark alley and there is a man standing there in an all-yellow trench coat and a top hat. Just kind of standing in the back of the alley.

Yep, this looks like my uh my old quarters, I guess, before I was furnished, of course. Well, at least it doesn't look haunted this time. I go to meet the man.

Okay, as you approach him, he kind of looks up at you a little bit, and then you kind of see a flash of yellow across his eyes, and I'm gonna need you to roll a sanity roll. I didn't know Dan the plan was gonna pawn this off on you, but we're sticking to what I wrote. That is a twenty-nine. Oh, a superpass? So you take it to be just the lighting, maybe in this dark alley, and you don't think anything of it, and you guys both apparently will pass every single [expletive] sanity roll that I throw at you.

[expletive] yeah, don't you?

It doesn't matter at this point. So the man in the yellow trench coat looks up at you and he says, Hello, Wyatt.

What can I do for you today?

That's Baron von Bjergenhergen to you, and I would like to buy four of your finest tickets, sir.

No problem coming from me.

Here you go.

And then he reaches out and hands you four passes.

Alright, and here is the obviously pre-done money that you were expecting from me.

No need. I'll collect payment from you later.

Well, that's rightfully kind of you, sir. And then he kind of just puts his head down and like almost like a automaton kind of way, kind of like shuts down, and then it's very awkward for you because he is just standing there still and you're holding these passes.

I bid you ado, good sir. I mean, that was very pleasant of you. I mean, who doesn't like someone with much talking going back to them?

And I start just going back. Give me one more sanity roll now that you're contemplating the event that just happened. Uh 55. Oh, is that oh, that is a pass. God That's a pass. That's a pass. Um, so you have your passes and you currently walk back to Dan the Plan.

While that's all happening, Dan's like, what the [expletive] is he doing, Percy? He went to go buy tickets and now he's in some dark alley, like he's about to get his [expletive] parents murdered and become a lifetime vigilante.

I know, and then like, do you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight, like kind of thing, and then pearls falling down? I know, Dan, you know?

Percy, don't try to be clever, okay? You're here for your looks, and even that's being generous.

Well, I've done lots of things in dark alleys, Dan, and I'm sure whatever he's doing back there, he's gonna get us them passes on that boat.

Ever the Optimist. Oh, here it comes Ferrin Bun Vergenbergen. Oh, right, right, Dan. I got us the tickets that we were hoping for. Told ya. Yes, what did you go in that alley for? Didn't you just get them from the ticket vendor?

Oh no, he actually was saying that he had sold them to that kind man down there in the alley. What kind man? But they're first class.

So you got our tickets from a guy in the alley, and I kind of just like lean over and like look down that alley. Do I see anything, Nate? No, you do not. Wyatt, I'm gonna just take your word for it. If this is gonna work, it's gonna work, alright? You sometimes sometimes you just gotta work with the hand you've been dealt. And I'm gonna trust that this is not a bunch of [expletive] that you just made up and that this will actually get us on board.

I mean, they look right to me. I'm not a professional ticket inspector or anything like that. Uh, Percy, would you like to take a look at these?

Let me see. Yep, that matches.

That looks exactly what a ticket should look like. It says ticket right on it. First class.

I I get it says ticket, guys, but it's free. If I said, hey, here's free tickets to a luxury cruise liner carrying very important, like high esteemed guests and prized artifacts. You think I would just give you that ticket for free? I mean, I'd feel like I just won the lottery. Exactly. And what are the odds of winning the lottery?

One in 1.7 million.

Percy, Jesus, [expletive]. That's not the point. You don't have to actually never mind. It was rhetorical. The point is this seems very good to be true, but whatever. If it gets us on the ship, we can worry about that later. And Mickey, stop giving me that [expletive] look.

He's doing the like arm flat, where like he's leaning on a table and like You're gonna start pulling you all the way around here, Mickey, because I am not [expletive] speaking for you every time we have these conversations. He starts rotating his fingers like he's uh rotating the dials on a safe, but it kind of just looks like he's rubbing an invisible person's nipples.

Great, great, great, I'm surrounded by idiots. Let's go, let's go.

And with that, Dan the plan and his crew have acquired tickets to the ship, which leaves now in approximately six days. They are currently boarding. So if the crew wishes to, they could board the ship, get into their quarters, and set up base, or they could wait till the very last minute. It is entirely up to Dan the plan, and of course, his crew.

I know, guys, as I mentioned the art heist and getting supplies, but I think we're actually good to go. And frankly, I think it's better to get on the ship and start scoping it out for these next six days before we take off.

I'm just saying that we could also uh you know steal the jewel before the ship even leaves.

Yes, getting get out. Listen, I'm all for setting very aggressive goals like that, Baramba. I'm sorry, Wyatt. But listen, trust me, I know how these things go. They're not even gonna let that [expletive] out of the vault until we start setting sail because they know that it is a higher risk situation. We'll see. And if we can, we'll make it happen. But let's get on the ship, let's scope it out, and let's see what's actually doable. This is why you're Dan the plan. It is why I'm Dan the Plan. Thank you, Wyatt. Mickey, do you have any reservations?

He just shrugs his shoulders and then does like a drink motion.

Oh, you told me you were off the booze, Mickey.

And then he gives you another shoulder shrug, like, oh great.

Alcoholic mimes, everybody. Percy, are you ready to go?

Oh, I was born ready. I got a couple books, I got a notepad for drawing, and I also have like this little coloring book that I found is really nice, Dan. You should check it out. It's for colored pencils, it's really nice.

It's like for adults, you know. Like the kids just don't color anymore, you know. Sometimes it's for adults too.

Wow. Riveting. God damn it, I've missed doing ice. Okay, let's go.

And with that, Dan the plan and his crew board the ship, the RMS Carpathania. All right, Dan, I'm looking at the little the little map here and the layout that I got. It seems that there are approximately one, two, three, four levels on this ocean liner here. There is the library deck, which is obviously where our room is at being first class, top deck, besides the sun deck, of course, which is, you know, for sun. And then there's also the lounge deck where there's drinking and having good times, and there's also rooms. There's rooms on every deck, Dan.

And then um there's the dining deck where there's the kitchen and the galley, and then, you know, they do the food, and then we have a good time, and then there's also like servants' quarters in there, and then there's also the bottom. I don't know where they're gonna hide this necklace, Dan, but I'm letting you know there's also a servant's deck, and at the very bottom there, that's also where the engines are and all those things.

All right, excellent. Thank you for that intel there.

I got info.

He's got the deets. Now, here's the deal. Mickey, you'll be working in the servants deck. They'll have zero questions about a mime being hired staff on the ship. So that'll work out great. Plus, I won't have to deal with you. Baron, Duke, Wyatt, you need to be visible in the dining and the lounge areas, and you need to be pompous and pretentious as [expletive]. I want you to at least say that things are pedantic once every seven sentences. [expletive] on everything, and talk about how rich you are at all times. Is that clear?

Alright. The ship does look mighty shallow and pedantic.

Yes, excellent. Very good. And then, Percy, you have to keep looking cute. And don't use that noggin so much, okay? That's what Dan the plan's for.

You got it.

Now. And I'm like, this whole time I've been putting like sunblock on my face, and I'm already in like an unbuttoned shirt. Like, I am going to work out the details on this plan, uh, sitting in the sun and getting my tan on. Um now, that is my process. It works, and I will be keeping it out for Boozy, who I will begin to establish relationships with. Percy, did you bring the dramatimine? I'm gonna need that. I am actually not seasick. I'm gonna need that to not throw up in my mouth a little bit when I am making the moves on Boozy.

Of course I brought it, Dan. It's it's new, you know, like it's a very new thing, and I brought it for you. It's in this cool little glass vial.

Excellent. I totally trust anything you give me in a glass vial, as we already know. All right, we have the plan. So, Baron, from now on, I will not call you Wyatt. I will address you at all times as the Duke or Baron, because I will probably interchange them. And then Mickey, I want to see as little of you as possible. You need to be in the working class, getting as much information about the vault and its location, its schematics, anything like that. Anything you can any intel you can get on that. And then uh Percy just keep looking cute.

You got it! And then um Mickey the Mime gives you like the FU with his like crossed hands and arms, but it's also a thumb up.

Oh, those mimes, they're so silly.

Okay, so what exactly is each person doing right now? Baron von Birgenhergen is going to be going to the like the launching area and just talking about how shallow and pedantic the food is, and saying that this food seems like something Cheryl Brown would serve. Definitely not something of his level.

Okay, so you are down in the um eating area, correct? Yes. Okay. So as you are down there and approaching, you do see um quite a few people working, obviously handing out dishes and things like that. There doesn't seem to be the amount of people on this boat that there should be. It seems kind of emptied out at the moment. We are still only five days away at this point from launch, but in your experience and like being on movies and being in the know about these kind of ocean liners, it's very emptied out. As you look around, you can see several people sitting there, most of them having conversation with themselves. But one man is sitting by himself. He is a large fellow clad overcoat with obviously the professor style elbow patches and spectacles.

And he is sitting there reading a book to himself. And based on your information, it seems like he could be possibly the only person approachable that would even pay attention to you.

So I would approach him, and as I do. Right, old Bean. Can you believe they're serving hot dogs on this ship?

Oh, I've never had a hot dog in my life, sir. Uh please sit, sit, sit. I'd had no idea that they were serving what hot dogs? Wow. On this ocean liner of all things, what a what a crazy trip this is going to be.

Right, you're telling me this is just going to make all the other visitors of this fine ship itself very sick, and obviously, this is not something of our quality. What is it you're reading there, my old man?

Oh, this is just a it's a book about artifacts from, you know, of the miscatonic. It's it's the university that I work at. I am a professor there. I I didn't catch your name, sir.

What is it again?

Uh, that is the Duke Baron von Bjornhergen. Oh a Duke, I am so sorry, sir. Let me stand, and then he stands and kind of gives you a slight little bow to show you that he is trying his best to honor your title as Duke, and then he sits back down in a her frump. He's rather plump.

Ah, so sorry about that, sir. I'd I no no disrespect. I I'll put my book down right away. There's been qu quite a hubbub about here, you see. I'm not supposed to tell anybody this. But let me tell you, I am a gossip, a lot like Nate's mom. And I just can't hold in this information. We are actually here on special notice, and that is to get some certain artifacts across the sea.

Ones I have been studying, in particular, quite extensively.

Right, oh, well, as a baron, it's always good to know what's going on along along the path that I'm travelling. Now, what are these artifacts that you're speaking of? You know, just that way I could keep an eye out, so that way if anything comes up I can bring it to your attention, as you being a professor, that obviously pique your interest.

Obviously. Now, from what the news stories say, it's this heart of Poseidon that everybody seems to be in arms about.

But that is not even the most expensive treasure on this ship. We have in fact an artifact that comes straight from the Amazon. Believe it or not, Teddy Roosevelt himself brought it on his adventures. In nineteen thirteen, on his last expedition to the Amazon, the news said that he got sick, but actually I think it was this idol that did him in.

Well, I mean, if the man himself, Teddy Roosevelt, has it, then must be of great import. Do you have any ideas where we might see such a thing?

Every uh every artifact obviously cannot be seen. It's down in the very bow of the ship, in the storage quarters, I'm sure. But it's to be packed and then displayed in the uh museum of certain things in Europe. I don't know exactly where it's going, but I will follow it and then obviously lead it to its newfound home. Possibly Germany. I I don't know as of yet.

That's great to hear, I mean I start throwing up, acting like that's a hot dog's Oh god, this must be Cheryl Brown's work. This food is just v mighty pedantic. Uh I sorry, I must go back to my room immediately to make sure that I don't make this room smell as disgusting as she does.

Oh, quite right, quite right. But if there is ever something that I have figured out, it is do not make eye contact with anything. Remember that, please. I have been going over these manuscripts of this idol, and if you were ever to come in contact with it, I know it's a it's a silly superstition. I'm sure, but please, do not look at the idol.

As I'm just looking directly at his eyes.

Right.

Avoid eye contact.

Yes.

Right. I must take my leave. I'm sorry, sir. Well uh good good day to you, sir.

Good day.

And then he goes back to um reading his book. Alright. I will immediately go back to the room. Dan, Dan! I've heard excuse me, Dan. I I've heard that the uh artifacts themselves are being holed in the storage bin.

I want to say Dan's not there, just Percy, because Dan's up on like what, the lounge. Is the lounge on like that the deck?

There is a um lounge area. There's a a specific lounge deck, which is one floor above the dining deck that Wyatt was just in. But I believe you said you were hanging out on the sun deck, which is the very top most part.

Yeah, sorry, I'm on the sun deck, so maybe Percy can guide him.

Yeah, so I would go directly just to the room and just be like immediately shouting that out as I go into the room. Oh sorry, Percy. I I thought that Dan would be in here. He I thought for sure he'd be planning.

It's alright. I I know, but sometimes, you know, with a good plan, you also have to uh experience the good stuff in life, and that's what Dan's really all about. He's he's upstairs on the sun deck. But if you you have information, I'll gladly take it and pass it along. Or that way we don't bother Dan, you know. He I'm sure he's in deep thought up there.

Right, that makes sense. It's a mighty fun coloring book you have there.

Oh, thank you.

Do you mind if I watch you draw?

Oh, perfect. I uh that sounds pleasant.

I want to say why all this is going on. So Dan's up on the sun deck and he's already had like four drinks, and he's charging it to the like room, which we like just assigned to like Wyatt, um, if that's how things worked back then. And there's some like random person, like some old, I don't know, cougar next to me, rich cougar, and Dan's a little tipsy, and he's just like, you know, I just I feel like I'm really out of the game. I I came here supposed to have this old plan. You know, I'm supposed to be Dan the plan. That's like my name. But my little pool boy is over here with schematics.

He's honestly more informed than I am, and I just I feel like I feel like I'm an old random old woman. I don't know if uh I don't know if I should be doing this anymore. Am I even made for heists? I mean, um shist like this anymore.

Tell me about it, doll. I'm sure you still got the goods. You know, if I know one thing, and that is that I have a lot of money, and I'm old and a woman, and you, sir, seem like a very, very well-rounded individual.

Two of those are undeniable, in fact, but oh gosh, it's just I have to hit on someone and I'm not gonna like it. And it might, but it's gotta happen, and I'm just kinda getting my the constitution ready to, you know, you know how that is, right? You've probably had to do things back in your day. I mean, look at you. You've done some things you are not proud of, and that's that's what I'm gonna have to do, Cheryl. Or sorry. Uh huh. Sheila? Did you give us a name? I don't know.

No, I don't I don't have a name. I'm just a random character on a post.

Yeah. Uh anywho, I just uh man, I I should like in the old days, man, I'd be out there interrogating people, talking people up, planting the seeds about how I'm super into this chick, Cheryl, but I just I don't know. I don't know if I'm made for this anymore. I just want to stay up here and get my tan on and drink Roy Rogers or whatever, whatever they're called.

Dan the plan, give me a listen check, please. As people are preparing the boat to leave port, there are numerous sailors and workers on the boat and whispers among them. Uh I failed by a lot. Yes, you are so into your own conversation with the old waspy woman that you do not hear anything that the sailors are talking about as they're going about their rounds.

Do you hear that? I thought I heard something and just like can't hear over that raspy stoma you have. How long have you been smoking? Nah, I don't even smoke. Oh, like laryngitis? Your tonsils out or something?

Nah, I take a lot of loudanum.

Oh, okay. Well, thanks for listening.

It's an opiate.

Oh. I have a problem. Yeah, that's that's fine. That's fine. Do you want to talk about it? No, I don't really want to hear your problems. I was mostly here to vent about mine, but you know, you really inspired me. Like, if I just sit here and be inactive, I could look end up just like you. Fair enough. Well, this has been a pleasure. I hope to not interact with you again this trip, and I will be the man that my crew needs me to be. All right, Dan, the plan. Not a plan, not mediocre plan, but the plan.

And just as you say that, Dan, the plan, you notice that the ship blows its horn very loudly. Bram bram. And it's actually starting to leave port right now. Everybody feels a lurch forward, and now the boat is moving forward into the ocean. Approximately five days ahead of schedule.

Okay, hey, sorry, I know I said we weren't gonna talk anymore, but am I just am I crazy or are we way ahead of schedule here? I thought we weren't leaving for five more days.

Apparently, there was a meeting or something, and we're leaving early. I'm gonna take a nap now.

Who's we? Well, nope, she's out. Okay, well.

A loudnam bottle uh falls out of her hand and then rolls across the bench.

Dan just scoops that up, like uh just gonna hold on to the. Is it empty?

No, it's halfway full. Yeah.

He's just like, oh, I'm just gonna pocket that guy, and all right, let me go check on Van Björen. And Mickey, I suppose.

Alright, and then Dan the Plan commits to his plan of walking back to his room on the library suite.

Hello, yes, good day. Good day. Have you seen? I'm just like talking to random people as I walk by, like, show up Brown. Mm-mm-mm. What a treat. I hope I get to meet her one day. I wonder what what floor she's on. And just kind of talking to different people, seeing if anyone like kind of goes for the bait.

Give me a ooh, what kind of role would I want for that? Give me a psychology role. Uh failed. Man. Failed. Apparently, with the tan that you acquired and the few hours that you were on top of the sun deck, you are unapproachable at this point. And people take one look at you, Dan, and they're like, uh, we better keep walking.

Jesus Christ. In my heyday, that would have worked like a charm. I would have gotten all the information I needed by just smiling at somebody. And [expletive], did I put the wrong sun block on? I feel burnt as [expletive]. Percy. I'm here. Where was that sun block I asked you for?

Oh, I thought you wanted the stuff that made you darker.

No, gee bronzer. What the hell? Jesus. I already have beautiful olive skin. I need to be darker. I need to be protected. Oh my god, I look like the [expletive] Griff Keeper.

Uh, sorry, Dion. I I can't. Do everything right, you know?

I know, I know. That's what I'm here for. It's okay. You need a planner, and that's what I'm here for. Now, let me sit back and think about how I can get information about the artifacts on this ship.

Well, I'm already got that taken care of.

There you go.

Holy [expletive], why where are you? I I've been hiding in the back of the room looking at this coloring book of Percy's. What are you hiding as? This room's like a four feet by eight foot, like Jesus.

See me just pull out from behind a plant. Wearing like plant stuff, too. It's like a full-on ghillie suit. Why we talked about this. I've never seen what you look like. I don't know. You I you could be any passenger on the ship. And while that is a valuable skill set, it would be nice if I just knew who the [expletive] you were. Who is the real Wyatt? Who are you? Anyone like to know. Uh, whatever. Okay. What did you say, Percy? You said you had information.

No, Wyatt had the information. He talked to some guy about something.

Okay, Wyatt, what did you find out?

They hold all the artifacts down in the uh the storage bay. Oh. Theodore Roosevelt's is here too. He said that it looked like a totem or something. I don't know. I got distracted. I kept trying to talk about the hot dogs.

Okay, well, Theodore Roosevelt's dead. Uh, but thank you for that. Um, and yes, I found all that information too, talking to a very nice cougar woman at the top who was doped up, and I pull that bottle of what's it called? Loudenum. Yeah, to pull out a bottle of loudenum, and I'm like, let's save this for celebratory reasons, gentlemen. Um, but yep, I've already got that covered. I think I need to go down and try to get a hold of Mickey and pass on some of this info and see if he can get the scoop on what the security situation is like down there.

And with that, Dan the Plan manages to walk his happy ass down to the lower decks of at least the servants' quarters, behind the dining deck. And there, Mickey the Mime is not really working. He's just miming that he's working, and it's causing quite a stir amongst the other workers.

Mickey. Mickey, over here. Yes, you're it's your break time already. Can't believe you forgot. Legally we're required every so many hours. Labor laws, you know.

He was pretending to like work a walk and like fry up some fried rice and [expletive].

What are you doing? We're not oh my god. Just Mickey, let's go, let's go. Say goodbye to your friends. Break time.

He turns off his fake burner.

Alright, Mickey, I'm gonna need you to write some some take some notes down, okay? We have established, I have established, that they keep the artifacts down in the vaulted area on the lower decks or whatever he said earlier. I forgot.

Okay. He uh Mickey writes you a few notes. The actual servants' deck has been locked down due to the security measures of the artifacts on board. So every worker on the boat is restricted to the small servants' quarters that are inside the actual dining deck area. There's approximately like 20 rooms and they are kind of restricted in there.

Alright, that's very good, Mickey. But I am going to need you how to get access to the higher security areas. Okay, that is, you're the guy who has to do the vault. So I'm gonna need you to figure that out.

He goes and grabs an imaginary pull string above him and then makes like a light, and then it kind of hurts his eyes a little bit, and then he writes down another one of his ideas, and uh all it says is Captain is the only one with key. Oh, Jesus Christ.

All right. It sounds like a job for Wyatt. He's getting really into his role, by the way. Like I told him to talk [expletive] about Cheryl, and now literally, if you walk in the restroom, there can be no one in there, and he's complaining about the toilet paper quality and blaming it on Cheryl. Like, totally missing the point. But oh, also he thinks Teddy Roosevelt's alive.

He does that thing where he tucks his arms to his chest and then puts his chin on his hands. He's like, mm-hmm.

I know he's he's he's ridiculous, and you're a mime, so that's saying something. Now, one more thing, Mickey. If you could figure out why on earth are we leaving five days in advance? This boat I thought wasn't supposed to leave this early. Also, by the way, we're gonna have to work on the escape plan. Don't worry, I got you covered. I believe there are two lifeboats, so that should work. Though, dibs on Percy. I don't really want to travel back with Wyatt.

He just shrugs. Uh-huh.

All right. Well, do do some digging. Come on, we got I mean, now we got plenty of time because we're not getting off this boat anytime soon.

Hmm.

I should know. Do I remember how many days it was supposed to take, like once the boat departed, how long it would have taken to get to Greece? About three weeks. Oh, Jesus, yeah. We got three weeks, so I guess you got time, but unless you want to be pretending to fry imaginary French fries for the next two weeks, then I'm gonna need you get that information. And I'm gonna go let Wyatt know.

He's already over there flipping burgers. Oh, Jesus. All right.

You guys are way too in your craft, okay? All right. Then we go. I think we have a roll for Wyatt. And I'm surprisingly haven't seen Boozy around. Have you? Oh, you're gone. Okay. Never mind.

Give me a listen check, Nate. Yeah. Failed again. Failed. More workers walk up and down as you go, and you are just so into yourself that you fail to hear whatever it is that they are talking about.

Hey, I like I have like a thought. I'm like, hey, wait, Mickey, come back here. Oh, actually, hmm. Maybe Wyatt's a better person. I want to get like a disguise. Now I look like I've been sunburned and been working on the deck all day, and now I just want to like add a uniform and then I might pull off an even better worker disguise than Mickey. But I'll save that for Wyatt. Okay. Okay, so I'm gonna ignore that. I'm gonna go back upstairs. Once again, I'm gonna try the whole strategy of man, I do love that Cheryl Hole. She is truly delightful, and I can't wait till she makes her first appearance and then just keep saying that to different people.

Uh, give me another psychology role. Failed. Failed. And then give me one more listen role.

That is a 23, which it is.

Ooh, ooh, that is a hard pass. So, with that information, you kind of walk behind some of the workers that you hear gossiping, and they actually are gossiping about several different things, and you make out these specific items since you got such a good pass. Number one, you hear something to the effect that the ship is actually heading in the wrong direction. They are not going towards Greece for some reason. It feels as if they are going south. Um, number two, um, actually you already knew about this, but the reason for the workers being moved into the dining area instead of the actual servants' quarters were for safety reasons, not for security purposes. So it seems as if there are mixed signals being sent across multiple channels.

Um, you continue to follow these people, and with such a hard pass, they don't seem to notice you because you are listening so intently. Now that you realize that other people talk besides yourself, Dan the plan. There have been really odd smells coming from the door that leads down to the servants' quarters and the engine room. And finally, you have heard whispers from these same people that Miss Sheila Brown is uh currently on the library deck, but nobody has seen her since she boarded.

Okay.

Um, also for our listeners, I'm so sorry we've been each we're iterating on her name because I think it's Cheryl Brown, right? And then I said Cheryl Hall. You said Sheila Brown.

We're just messed up.

We anytime you get a variation of that, we're talking about uh boozy.

Boozy. Let's hits.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, how does this information do I need to do a sanity role? Like, obviously, Dan the Plan is used to like things not going to plan, but this is going bonkers fast. Am I shaken at all? Like, is there any kind of roles I need to make to like feel motivated still to complete this this heist?

Give me a intelligence role for the first one to see if you are in fact still able to complete this plan or if you should fail now.

19. Very intelligent.

Super, super pass. Uh, it does seem that things aren't exactly what they seem, and this isn't a normal heist that you are accustomed to. So, with that kind of role, give me the sanity roll because you know what is going on, and it is definitely out of the ordinary.

I failed the sanity roll first time ever. Oh, let me uh roll that. I notice you left luck off of my sheet, Nate, because I was very close to passing.

Oh, did I? What's saying?

Um, you lose two sanity, Nate, and for for everything else, let's just say you have 70 points of luck, not including this role.

I I like it better without the luck. Okay. Well, can we not use luck on sanity? Could we maybe establish that?

Yeah, that's fine.

Like more for like passing a skill roll if it's really close.

But yes.

Okay. I want to go up to the room and I want to say somehow too, like we had a pre-agreed upon time, like every day to meet up. So Mickey is also gonna meet up with us in at that time as well.

Okay, that's fair.

Cool. So you're all there, and I'm like, hey, hey guys, uh, you always know me, right? Every heist we've ever done together, and Percy, this is you know newer for you, but I've always been the voice of comfort, the voice of confidence, and everything can be planned through, everything can be improvised. But guys, have you noticed anything weird while we've been on the ship? I mean, Mickey, you've already passed on the information. I I don't know, are like Wyatt, are you picking up what's going on here, Percy?

I've noticed that they're serving a lot of hot dogs and the salad looks wilted.

Great, Percy. You actually I any I haven't been giving you a lot of credit, but you are actually a really smart kid. Are you not concerned about you know leaving five days early or anything else you hear going on?

Not really. I like I went and checked out the library and it's really nice.

There's a lady named Gloria in there.

She's really, really thoughtful and has a lot of information about all kinds of things. But other than that, the only thing that I thought was weird that it seemed when we first started this cruise, this ocean liner, that there was a lot more people here in the beginning, and it seems like there's less and less the more I walk the halls. Maybe they're just in their rooms, maybe they're seasick. I don't know.

All right, here's here's the thing, guys. Like, there's a lot going on. Mickey has already informed me. I mean, people are disappearing. We receive tickets for free. We they moved the workers into a new area for safety. They're not in their normal servants' quarters. We haven't seen boozy around, and that is not like boozy. I I don't know. Like, I just this isn't adding up, all right? And I know we can do anything, but it's only been one day. If we get on the escape boats tonight, we can get out of here. Maybe it's time. Sometimes part of the plan is an advance to the rare, uh retreat, okay? Sometimes part of the plan is knowing when it's not going well and and reasserting. And I I wanted this last heist to be amazing, guys.

I really did. Wyatt, I know you've been just waiting for this opportunity, but this is just I I don't know. Hear me out. Like it's it's not because I'm washed up or I don't believe in my ability. I I think we just it's not feeling right, you know.

I'm gonna go with whatever you say the plan is, boss. As we are having this discussion, the sun is slowly setting and it is becoming nightfall now. We have been on the ship for this long of a period.

Percy, you you get what I'm saying, right? Like, you know, this isn't I'm not wussing out or anything. That's not how I roll. It's just, you know, I care about you guys, most of you, anyway.

Not so much of you, Mickey, but he gives a look like, aww.

I know what you're saying, Dan, but at the same time, maybe this is that little extra that you need. Like, we need to push through adversity, you know? And then like maybe this will be the heist of all heists.

I know, but also maybe you were you were right, Percy. Maybe we said we wouldn't do this again and this was a bad idea. I don't know. I just I got a weird itch, and I don't think it's my sunburn from the bronzer. I think all right, let's just let's just agree. Let's go check out the escape plan situation, okay? Let's make sure that's still intact. There should be two escape boats. Let's just make sure we have a way out of this in case it goes bad, because I just I got a bad feeling, guys.

All right, let's check it out. Is there anything else anybody else wants to do or anything?

If that doesn't work, I could dress as the captain and just turn the boat around. If it's got a steering wheel, I should be able to drive it.

Yes, I know how good you are at drive auto, my friend.

And with that, down the plan is sent his crew into action where they both go to the sun deck, the only available place where there are two safety boats, which is not an adequate number for the number of people that should be on this boat, but for some reason that is the number of safety boats on the RMS Carpathania.

It looks like the safety boats are still here, Dan.

Okay, good. I'm surprised how much that puts me at ease, but okay. This is good. We still have a way out. I really don't have a lot of faith. I mean, it would be nice if we could just turn this boat around, but I don't think it's gonna happen without triggering quite a bit of exposure that we don't want. So Alright, here let's put it to a vote, team. Tomorrow we can take off early in the morning when the sun starts to rise and take these boats and just call this one a wash, and there'll be other heists. Or maybe it's time to retire. Or we we stick through this and we keep an eye out for just anything else fishy. And if anything else goes not according to plan, then we bail.

So uh Mickey, you go first.

Give me spot hidden's before you continue, both of you, before you continue your conversation.

Failed.

Uh that is a 16.

Ooh, super pass. So you look behind Dan the Plan, Wyatt, and you can see Boozy Latits and one of her entourage members kind of watching you guys, and then slink back into the downstairs to the library deck. And then I'm gonna need a sanity roll from you because that was very odd. Uh 36. That's a pass, you son of a [expletive].

Donnie is the new Dan the Plan.

As soon as I see her like slink back in, that [expletive] has been watching us.

What? Is there someone there?

I turn around.

Nobody's there.

I'm pretty sure that Baron von Bjorn Hergen IV has finally been making contact. She's not liking what I'm saying about her.

Yes, but it's unlike Boozy at this hour of the night to be doing anything but stuffing her face. It might have been some other top-heavy dame.

Do I recall seeing a sandwich or anything in her hand? Um, you look down and with such a high spot hidden, you actually see a couple of hot dogs down at the door where she was standing.

I'm telling you, that was her.

That is her calling card. Maybe maybe my concerns were premature. Maybe we don't need to vote. Let's give it one more day and let's just every night reassess here at this spot, okay, until we know we're in the clear. This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought, gentlemen. All right. Plan for tomorrow. Why? This is big. Mickey did some research. Only person allowed into the high security area though, or the workers were kicked out of servants' quarters, is the captain. What do you got? That gives off authority and nautical. But I swear to God, if you try to pull any pirate out of that [expletive] trunk, I will push you over the [expletive] this boat.

Slowly putting the pirate hat back.

What else you got?

Pulling out a regular captain's hat. Got this. And I pull out like the sailor's uniform and everything. And if this doesn't work, we could all dress as the workers for the ship. I just happen to have the exact working uniform. And I pull one out for everybody. Yeah.

I'll take one of those. I've not had luck. The Taurus on this ship are not very enthusiastic or sociable. Most other scenarios they've been willing to provide a lot of information, but seems like the workers are the only ones who know what's going on here. I can't believe people aren't up in arms about leaving five days in advance. It's [expletive] wild.

Or they're just excited to get to Greece. That's true. All of a sudden you hear an elderly lady wake up on the sun deck.

Where am I? I knew I had too much. Time for bed.

Scram. We'll meet back here tomorrow night. Everybody know their bulls? Percy?

You got it.

Mickey. He does like a quick salute.

No, I'm the captain. Oh. Wait. Do you just talk?

Okay, whatever. Me here tomorrow night and uh figure out tomorrow's theme. How do we get in? We need to get into the high security.

I'll check the library.

Yes, Percy. There'll just be a book on how the [expletive] to get into the high security area of the RMS Carpathania. Great. Check that book out.

Alright.

Alright.

Alright, good night, guys. Nice. Also, are we sharing a room?

Or do we have different rooms? You have four separate rooms based on the tickets that you acquired. Oh, I was hoping Percy was sharing a room.

Okay, fine.

I could share a room with you, Dan. I don't care.

Yeah, I want to imagine that it's like me and Percy, because honestly, any like cruise ship I've been on, it's like two beds. Like they purposely try to like keep multiple people in a room because of limited space. I don't know if it was like that all the time. But so can we do like me and Percy and Wyatt and Mickey?

Yeah, that's fine.

I also just want to imagine what goes on at like bedtime for Wyatt and Mickey.

See, I'm putting like my makeup on, just trying to look exactly like him. He's miming currently in his sleep. Not even actually sleeping.

He's just miming sleeping.

He never sleeps.

My bottle of what's it called? Loudnum. Loudenum. My bottle of loudnum's gone. Suspiciously.

The mime just passed the [expletive] out. It turns out that Mickey the mime actually had a drug problem. But that is for a later adventure.

Alright, Dan, I'm gonna go run to the library really fast. And then um I'll try to get some more information, then I'll meet you in bed, okay?

Alright. Don't uh don't tie yourself out. It's uh marathon, not a sprint.

All right. I just do the best I can for you.

I'll lay out your gym jams for you.

I appreciate you, Dan.

I appreciate you, Percy.

And then Percy runs his way to the library, where it is still open, and inside is a Miss Gloria Harbridge, a very librarian-looking librarian. Ah yes. It turns out she is the lead librarian at the Miskatonic, and she is an account manager for everything that has been brought on board. Miss Gloria, I need information. Oh, what is it, dear? This is the library, and I'm sure we have all kinds of information for people such as young and eager as yourself, but it is close to closing hours.

It'll be quick, I promise. There's two things. What do you know about the stuff downstairs? And how do I like let's say if I wanted to meet the captain and shake his hand, like what would how would I go about that, you know?

Oh well, Captain Zven is a remarkable man. Uh he is actually the first mate of the prior expeditions. The real captain came down with a sudden illness only a few days ago. It's quite odd. Oh, quite odd? How so? Well the captain hardly ever gets sick, you see. It's it's just very odd, and then to replace him instead of postponing the trip, it's it's very, very peculiar. Oh, I see. Maybe I should take notes. Well, I feel if you need to take notes on this kind of thing. Yeah, I'll take notes. Oh, then go ahead. All right, I'm taking notes. I'm not pushing you into taking notes. I said I'm taking notes. What more do you want from me? I'm sorry. Now what else was it that you had questions about?

The items that are on the ship, I heard that you know about them. Well yes, there are many artifacts down there and also some very peculiar items. Oh, like what? As he is taking notes rather viciously in his little notepad. Well, besides the artifact that Teddy Roosevelt found, obviously that is a big seller, and obviously the necklace should be kept down there, but that damn actress has been just flaunting it around nonstop with her bosoms.

Uh-huh, bosoms?

No, you don't have to take a note on that.

I already wrote it down, bosoms.

Alright, okay. Besides that, there are several crates just filled with rare dirt, it seems like, from some kind of geological study.

Geological, like like like the earth? Yes, you are very sharp. Aw, thanks, Gloria. I really appreciate you. Now, back to business. What else do you know, Gloria?

All I know is that it is of geological nature, and then when I questioned the captain about the stock numbers that seem to be missing from my papers and documents, he would not let me have access down there, which seems very peculiar. I should be handling these kind of things if there is a stock number misplaced or things like that. And I have just been cut short. Even though we've only been at sea a day and a half. It's very peculiar.

Very peculiar indeed. Bye, Gloria, I'll see you later.

Well o okay. You come back any time and then the door slams and he's gone. Dan, I found out some stuff. Here's my notes.

What the hell took you so long? I thought we were going to, you know, do the thing.

I'm kind of tired, Dan. I spent a lot of time at the library.

Yeah, okay. That's fine. Uh what did you find?

I found out that Gloria is actually an important lady, and considering the time period, that is like wowser, you know? Like a lady can do all this stuff. Who would have thought?

Yeah, she manages a lot of books and uses the Dewey Decimal system. I get it.

But she's also like the main person for all of the stocking and numbers and stuff for holy [expletive], she invented everything on board the ship, including the autopsy.

That's her job. Who would have thought? I thought she was just a lady of the library.

Great work. Where is he?

Any time.

Okay, so what did you find?

Uh that the captain's not really the captain.

First of all, he's just not really the captain.

Well, he wasn't supposed to be the captain. He's just a guy.

Oh Jesus. Okay. This is going even. No wonder we left five days early.

You probably incompetent. Like if I somebody told me to be a captain, I wouldn't know what the [expletive] I'm doing. Pardon my French.

Like Mickey and Wyatt. Okay. Hmm. Well, this is good. This is good. If it's a new captain, then people won't be very familiar with him and Wyatt should have an excellent shot at infiltrating the secured area tomorrow.

I would think so. I don't even know if people trust him. The the way she said it, like It seemed rather odd.

Hmm. Rather odd indeed. Let's uh write this down and slide under their door, under Wyatt's door.

Taking notes.

Yep, I know you like to take notes.

Uh-huh.

And then uh, you know, I can I can tuck you in before bed and we can call it a night.

Alright, sounds good. Why'd you push the beds together?

Oh, don't be coy.

All right. Give me what you want me to write to Wyatt.

Wyatt and Mickey. Uh-huh. I have acquired through excellent espionage and possibly through Percy that the librarian Goria is actually the archivist and inventory specialist here on the RMS. Mmm. Archipelago, I don't know.

Carpathian.

Yeah. Okay, I heard you. The captain was also a last-minute fill-in. Wyatt, I think this is perfect. Nobody will be very familiar with him, and this will give you a lot of leeway. His name is Sven, right? We said the new guy is Sven or the old guy was Sven.

Correct. The new captain is Sven Jess.

Tomorrow you will be Sven Jess, fill-in captain, and you will infiltrate the uh security area with me by your side in a worker's outfit. Now with my sunburn, they will absolutely not doubt that I am a working class.

Alright, I got it.

Mickey, you keep doing you.

I make a little drawing of some mimes.

No, he speaks English. He can read and write.

Oh, alright, I'll scribble it out. My bad.

For someone so smart, you can be so dense sometimes.

Oopsie daisies.

Now come here and be a little spoon.

Alright. Wait, let me go slip this under their door.

And then he runs outside and then just goes one door down and then slides the note underneath Wyatt's door and then runs back into his room in spoons. Cool. Wyatt, um, are you s asleep right now? Because I'm gonna say if you're kind of half asleep, I'm gonna need a spot hidden if you want to wake up and see the note now. Uh um the mime is snoring extremely loud right now. For a man who's always quiet, he sleeps extremely loud.

Yeah, I did not pass that. That was a 92. Oh, yeah. Holy [expletive].

It's almost like a sound machine, the noises coming from this mime. The mimes are supposed to be [expletive] quiet.

That's ridiculous.

He should have like disadvantage on his roles tomorrow of him getting no sleep.

Right. Sounds like a plan.

And with that faking this whole time. So, sun rises and it is a new day. Wyatt has received approximately 15 minutes of sleep when Mickey the Mime actually stopped breathing for a while. But then he woke himself up in a sudden mime thrashing motion. Dan the plan, you wake up with your cuddle buddy.

Uh how'd you sleep, kiddo?

Uh, just great, you know. You kept poking me with your flashlight, but I feel great.

Yes. Flashlight. I say as I like take my flashlight off of the like so when I get dressed. Alright, I have a good feeling. Yesterday really kind of threw me off my game, but today I am Dan the [expletive] plan. And I got a hell of a plan. Me and Wyatt are gonna kill this. That actor is gonna be so on point. They're gonna think he really is Sven the [expletive] sky captain pirate, whatever the [expletive] the ship's title is. I am ready, and there is nothing that can kill my positivity today. What do you say to that, Percy?

Aw man, have you seen Wyatt? And then he opens up the door, and then Wyatt comes out and his eyes are completely bloodshot. And he looks like he got zero sleep all night.

Ugh! Get out of my way, peasant! Wyatt, where are you? There's some peasant trying to enter my room.

What kind of [expletive] disguise is this? You look like you [expletive] taped your eyes open and stared at the ceiling for eight hours.

No, it was just sometimes, you know, when people do a lot of cocaine, I was trying to look like an old drug addict.

Hmm. That might explain why my loud numb is missing. That explains the mime. Ugh [expletive]. Okay. Are you are you in good shape? Are you gonna be able to do what I brought you on this [expletive] heist for? I'm always in good shape. Look at you. Good shape. I like pinch your belly fat. I'm like, Jesus, you don't even know what a crunch is.

That's that's the candy bar, right? Oh [expletive] eh.

Okay, let's go. Mickey, wake the [expletive] up.

As you guys are out in the hallway now of the library deck, give me just spot hidden from both of you just to to see what's going on.

I can't roll anything under like a 65.

So with this advantage, that is an 83.

Ooh, none of you pass. You just seem to be going about your business, nothing out of the norm.

Get your [expletive] together, Wyatt, okay? And bring you on to [expletive] have narcolepsy.

I think that would mean I would sleep more.

No [expletive]. Don't talk back to me.

The mime, uh Mickey the Mime yawns really loudly. And stretches. Oh yeah. You [expletive] sleep good.

Yeah, you slept great because you [expletive] ruined Wyatt's sleep. I don't know how the [expletive] he's gonna put us off as Sven. He looks like [expletive] oh my god, I don't it looks like he needs some dry eye [expletive] medication or something. He gives you a thumbs up. Yeah, cool, great. This is awesome. This is going swell. I came in with a good attitude, and uh, as it's saying, I want to say like someone cuts me off, like bumps into me. I'm like, hey, watch where you're going.

Give me a a psychology again, if you will.

Please let me roll something. 65. Nope.

Yep. Uh you look at the person passing by you and they don't say a word to you. They just look at you, and it's a little off-putting, but you can't put your finger on it. You're just thinking because you're having a bad day.

Yeah, why don't you watch where the [expletive] you're going? This is the Captain Sven that you just crashed into. Jesus, you know, rich people are [expletive] snotty, but this ship is filled with the rudest tourists and attendees I have ever, ever been on a ship with. Unbelievable.

Captain. Give me a disguise roll. Oh no. So with disadvantage, that's the 62. And that is a pass. So you currently were able to pull your [expletive] together enough that you resemble the captain of this ship.

That is right. I am your captain, and I am here to make sure that everyone gets to the port safely.

And then just as you're saying that, one of the other sailors comes walking by. Ca captain, um, I swear I just saw you down in the galley. I I'm I'm sorry. Um all men are stationed in the correct and corresponding positions. Shouldn't you be upstairs in your room planning the route? I know we've had a change of plans and whatnot, and it seems as if the ship is lightening its load somehow, but it's it's just very odd to see you here when I swear I just saw you a couple stories down.

Oh, is this uh is this complain to the captain day? Is that you're just gonna write your uh list of 99 grievances for the captain? Okay, listen. Captain can do whatever [expletive] he wants, alright? Maybe he's pre-established the route. Maybe the captain gets to take a break from [expletive] guiding the ship that left five days early, okay, buddy? Why don't you stay in your lane and we'll stay in ours, okay?

Uh uh, give me a fast talk.

49?

Luck it. Or push.

Push. Oh, I forgot push is a feature.

Yeah, so for those of you at home, there is a feature on here where you can push, which is just a re-roll, but the possibility of something extremely bad happening to you if you were to fail, your re-roll is high.

I pushed and thankfully I got a 17.

Ooh, is that an extreme? Oh no, it's just a hard pass. Um, the sailor looks at you. Oh, I'm I'm I'm sorry. I'm I'm I'm I meant I meant no harm of um um um um uh um um um he's sorry, dybody that he's sorry.

Well, if you're so sorry, why don't you go take the captain down to the restricted area because he has to do his weekly check, and I'm a little busy right now. So are you gonna take him down to the vault or what? Well, you're sorry about that too.

Yeah, yeah. If that's what the captain requires of me, yes. I'll uh I'll gladly take him down to the deck below.

Uh while that's happening, I also want to try to uh like pickpocket. Um do I have sleight of hand?

Uh let me see what you do have. You have to have something like that. You do have sleight of hand, so give me a sleight of hand check.

43, it's a pass.

Ooh, you are able to lift certain keys from this sailor.

Okay, it looks like you're in good hands, Cap. I uh I know either though spoke out of place, but he seems like a good guy. I think he's all set. I pat him on the back like right after I do like the swipe, so he doesn't like think I like touched him or whatever. And uh I'll uh meet up with you later, okay, Cap. And I give him a wink.

Oh, okay. Uh uh Captain, I guess I'll I'll meet you down down there whenever you're ready.

Oh, he's ready.

I am always ready. All right, yes. You sound like a Sven. Okay, okay. I'll I'll I'll just meet you down there. I'm I'm sorry for causing any kind of inconvenience.

Oh no, no worries. I will actually follow you and just make sure that you're leading me along the right way.

Oh, okay. Follow follow me this way.

Dan the plan wants to try to take those keys and see if that will get him into the captain's quarters, because we're gonna need to lock down the real captain.

Perfect. So you, Dan the Plan, and I assume you are taking Percy with you. And are you taking Mickey the mime?

No, I feel like Mickey should be doing something else.

Okay, he went back to work then in imaginary grill pissing everybody up. And uh we will split the group for just now. Wyatt, you are currently being led downstairs, and Dan the plan and Percy are going down to the captain's quarters. And you approach the door. Nobody seems to have given you any grievance or anything like that. And one of the keys is actually the key for the captain's quarters, and it unlocks and you walk inside.

Before I do that, I knock uh husky bing!

Huskipping, anyone there?

No sound coming from inside the captain's quarters.

Alright, yeah, unlock it and I go inside.

You you walk inside, and in it obviously is a regular captain's quarters. There's maps on a large desk in the center with a large chair, some globes and random [expletive]. You do notice above like a fireplace of some sort, there is a picture, a large oil painting of what must be the previous captain. And it's an elderly fellow and looks nothing like what you've seen before, as far as captains. And then there are also several cabinets and a makeshift bed here inside the captain's quarters.

Alright, Preston. Here's the deal. You are going to stand behind the door when it opens. If the captain comes in, you're going to close the door once he walks in, and you're going to lock it. I'm going to knock him out and tie him up. But in the meantime, until if he never shows his face, we are going to raid this place.

You got it, Dan.

I'm going to do some uh spot hidden and kind of look around.

Yep, just give me one spot hidden right now.

Thirty-five, which is a regular pass.

Regular pass.

Starting to pass some of my roles now. It's feeling a little better.

Alright, alright. Uh, with that spot hidden, you notice that the several maps that are laid out ahead of you, none of which are pointing to Greece. Everything seems to indicate from what you can tell that it is going to the South America region.

Bruce, I think we took a wrong tongue out at Albuquerque, if you know what I'm saying.

New Mexico?

Yeah, so never mind. Anyway, I don't think we're going to Greece. Which this is just getting weirder and weirder by the day. I I think there's something going on here. And I don't just mean like not according to plan, but maybe like an operation, like a m- maybe this is like a military, like interrogation day. I don't know. So something's weird.

Now that you are really investigating down the plan, and it seems like you are catching your groove, give me a spot hidden, but this time with advantage.

Okay. First one's a 21. Second one is a nine.

Oh [expletive], extreme. As you are mulling about with that extreme pass, you have come across a journal that is written not by a captain, but in a different kind of handwriting. It seems almost fast. And it basically sums up the fact that cults are among us, especially the of the South American kind, and it deals with a certain kind of idol that is said to bring about dancers of life and death.

[expletive] Norwegians, am I right, Percy? Oh my god.

You're not wrong.

Here's what we're gonna do. See this book? This isn't written in human language. I'm I'm guessing. Have you seen this before?

It looks like squigglies.

Yeah, squigglies. Well, you go hit up that old bird, Gloria. I bet she. If anyone's gonna know something, she will. And I'm gonna wait here for the captain because I need to make sure once he gets in here that we tie him up and doesn't interfere with Wyatt's plan.

Sounds good to me.

And then also with that extreme pass, Percy leaves and goes about your business. He's going to back to the library, and you started mulling about in his cabinets. And as you open one of the cabinets up, a body falls out of the cabinets. It seems to be a younger individual, but his face has been completely ripped off, it seems. And I need you to roll me a sanity roll.

Holy [expletive]. Superfail.

Superfail. I am going to need you to lose just one point of sanity. So far, you have lost three points of sanity. You are still okay. You're a little shaken up.

I've uh damn, it's been a while since I've seen Dead Body. I'm glad the kid wasn't here for this. Oh [expletive]. This guy cut off this guy's face. Like oh. Oh, I'm glad I took some dramamine. Okay. Um oh Jesus. This guy.

Did you need me, Dan? No, don't come in. Everything's good. Everything's good, Percy. Don't don't come in. Get over.

Oh. Oh, yeah. This uh oh [expletive], Percy. We're in over our heads. We need to get the [expletive] out of here.

Alright, I threw up my breakfast. It was hot dogs. It seems to be the only thing they're serving on this ocean liner.

Jesus Christ. All right.

They were cold.

Listen, I'm I'm calling it a kid. I'm gonna head back down in the room. It's up to you if you want to go talk to Gloria, but this is [expletive]. Now we're dealing with a serial killer, an off schedule, departure to a different location. I'm calling it. With or without the other two, this is no. There's no way. We need to get downstairs. We need to get out of here.

Alright, let's get the crew together and get the [expletive] out of here.

Agreed. Wait, help me cram this body back in real quick before.

Alright. Ew, it's all yucky. I know, I know.

Close your eyes.

Why is his face gone?

I don't know.

He's smiling at me, Dan.

Just get it done. Let's get it done and get out of here.

Alright.

And then now we will fast forward to Wyatt being walked to the actual servants' quarters on the ship. Oh right, we're we're here, sir. It this is where you wanted me to take you. This is the entrance to the server's quarters. You should be the only person with a key.

Right.

I definitely have a key here. Well, I'm not qu questioning you or anything. I'll I'll leave I'll leave you to your business. I I'm sorry, sir. And then he just looks down and then goes about his business. So you are just standing there now in front of this door that leads down. I have a key.

I want to look around. Is there like any like like what kind of knob is it? Like just a round knob that Yep, with one keyhole in it.

And then looking around, there is also um one potted plant next to the door. And that would make a great discussion. How's not the time?

How big is that potted plant? Like something I could pick up? Oh, it definitely something you could pick up. So I would try to wiggle the knob first. Yep, and it is locked. So I'm gonna take that potted plant and try to smash the knob down.

Okay, you pick up the potted plant and then you smash the knob. Uh give me a strength roll. Just straight strength. Right. 59 just makes a so you break the doorknob on the door. And at first it kind of creaks open and then a smell wafts inside your nostrils and it makes you sick almost. It smells like rotten plant material. And it's definitely something that I don't think your character has smelt before.

Oh god.

Uzi might might be down here. The door creaks open and there is a long stairway corridor that takes you down to the lower level. There is one light in this stairwell, but it is flickering on and off, and the smell give me a constitution roll. A 64. Oh, so that is a fail. So I am going to need you to lose just one point from your strength and decks. Because that smell is just atrocious and it's affecting the things that you're doing. Alright, Wyatt. Now, do you want to continue down the stairwell or what is your plan? I will continue down. Okay, you continue down the stairwell. Um you make it all the way down.

The smell has kind of leveled out to a way that you're accustomed to, but as long as you are currently down in this lower level, you will have that deduction in both your strength and decks. You come across what seems to be just stacks and stacks of large crates with multiple numbers, and then there's lighting that goes down the way, but it is pretty much filled to the brim. There's no way that you could see the complete end from one side to the other in this cabin of the maze of crates that are before you.

God, I really hope that Percy kid figured out what crate number that the uh artifacts are supposed to be in. Roll me a spot hit. Uh so with disadvantaged thirty-five, which is a regular pass.

Regular pass. You see something moving up ahead. You don't know if it's a worker or just maybe a trick of the light, but there was definitely some kind of movement, probably five or six crates deep in this labyrinth of crates.

Hello, it is me, your captain? Uh Captain Sven. Please make yourself known.

Oh, Captain, it's me, Boozy. What are you doing down here?

You just see me like twitch. Uh Miss Boozy was it.

Uh That's my name, Captain. Don't you forget it.

So great to see you again. What what are you doing down here? I thought that you were going to be entertaining the guests.

I've heard multiple people saying that they haven't seen you yet.

Uh It seems that after this long trip I forgot to put on my face. And then the voice comes walking from behind the crates, and I need you to roll me a sanity check, please. Seven and a fifty-three. Uh still a pass. Still a pass. You look across and you see Boosie Latits looking at you right now, and her face has aged incredibly. It looks as if her skin is decaying, as if she is some kind of zombie husk, but only on her face as if she is wearing some kind of mask. The rest of her body seems decently intact. Oh, Captain, just get over here and kiss me. I know you want to.

Uh sorry, as much as I would love to, you know, just err. I don't believe now is the time. I must actually be going. Make sure that the deck itself is in good condition.

Uh is she wearing the Yes, she is currently wearing the necklace as well as a very low-cut, rusty top.

Sorry, sorry, I wasn't staring. Uh definitely not staring at those. Actually, why don't you come follow me and uh we can go together.

Alright, Captain. I don't mind if I do.

And then I'm gonna need you to make a dodge roll. Right? 58. Ooh, that is a fail. All of a sudden you turn as Boozy Latits is walking with you, and your lights go out. You take two points of damage, and you are currently unconscious. We flash back to Dan the Plan.

Where the [expletive] are these people? Percy, Wyatt. Mickey, I'm not so worried about, but we need to get the [expletive] out of here. I just Oh god, we just keep thinking about the guy without the face.

Just then Mickey the Mime comes running up to you, and he has a friend. It looks like the head chef of the RMS Carpathiana.

Oh hey, Mickey and uh Other worker of the ship.

Good work, you two. So good to see you thriving in your employment situation.

So these are the friends you are talking about, Mickey the Mime. My name is Jockey the Lip. Some might call me Jockey the Lipper, but that is just the name that I have. I am currently cooking on this ship. How how how do you do?

Not so [expletive] great. Uh sorry, I it's been a really stressful day. Uh everything's great. Love what you're doing. Love the hot dogs, really. Know how to serve the same thing over and over again.

Alright, Mickey, you were right. These guys seem on the up and up. My name isn't really Jackie the Lipper. I'm just Jack. I'm an FBI agent. And I have been following a trail of cultists that have led me onto this ship. It started with an idol that was found by Teddy Roosevelt in 1913. Check it up. These are actual facts. Historical. He was in the Amazon in this time frame and actually got sick. It's historically accurate. You can believe me. But I followed the idol, and it was led here on this very ship. But behind it is a trail of murder, intrigue, and death. Wait, that's like murder. I'm a terrible FBI agent.

Question for you, Jack. Those murders, did they include victims with their face cut off?

Every so often, yes. And that was the most puzzling thing of. Along with several blood-drawn sigils. I have no idea what they are.

I don't know, but I have a book with my comrade who might have some of those similar sigils, and there's a dead body with its face cut off in the captain's quarters. I think the captain is one of your cultists.

That wouldn't surprise me one bit with this lot. Do you have your full crew here? I heard you were here to to thwart these individuals, mostly the female cohort, is what I got from the mime. I don't speak mime that great.

I just Yeah, we had a bone to pick with our old comrade Boozy. She double crossed us and left us for dead, but we survived and we were gonna settle the score. Legally, of course. Just you know, to embarrassment or whatnot, but we think we're in our head. We noticed we left early. Do you know this cruise ship's not heading to Greece? Bucky? Bubby? Buck? Bubby? Jackie. How? Jack. Jack.

Do boys? Kind of.

Yes, I had a feeling. But there's only so much I could do. I've been stuck in the kitchen and I don't know how to cook, so I've just been giving everyone hot dogs. And at one point I don't I don't even know how to make the oven work, you know? So I just started giving out cold hot dogs. That makes a lot of sense. We're on a cruise ship, you know, so these people are just eating whatever the [expletive] I give 'em. It's the craziest thing.

Alright, quick question for you. What's your exit plan, Jack?

There's a lifeboat, but I plan on just shooting my way out. And he pulls out a 1911 and just holds it up in the air.

Alright. You seem real cool, so I'm gonna be totally level with you, my friend. We're taking off tonight. You can come with us. We'll go with you, however you want to call it. There's two lifeboats, three of you on one, me and the other two member, my my other crew on the other. Let's get the [expletive] out of here. I think you need reinforcements, and I think you're gonna need more than than just your gun.

I agree with you a hundred percent. And as a side note, in the 1920s, Dan the Plan, as well as Wyatt and everybody else, would know that the FBI was frowned upon. They weren't even looked about as real police officers. They were kind of a government institution that was trying to bring them down, and nobody gave them respect or anything like that. And for them to actually carry a gun, they had to be deputized by the local police department.

You hear that voice?

I don't know what you're talking about, man. I was just listening to this audio tape.

Oh hey, Burcy, you're here too. Awesome.

Yeah, on Spotify. Leave a poll or a comment and like and subscribe. Maybe give them some money.

Alright, Jack. So knowing very well, this is in my head, knowing very well that our plan was to meet up at 9 p.m. by the lifeboats every night to decide. I'm like, Jack, we're all meeting here at 10 p.m. tonight. Okay?

You can count on me.

Stay safe, my friend.

You got it. And then he goes back to the kitchen.

So who's in the room with me? Percy, apparently. Does the Mickey stay?

Yes, Mickey is still there.

Okay. And we're waiting on Wyatt.

Yes. And then you look about you and you notice that there is hardly anybody on the ship anymore.

All right, guys. I don't know what the [expletive]'s going on, but we're leaving tonight. No argument. I don't want to hear a word out of you, Mickey. We're leaving. Not happening. Okay. Percy, I don't know what you found. I don't even give a [expletive] at this point. We're leaving. Oh, Mickey. There's a murderer who's cutting off people's faces. If that wasn't totally [expletive] clear. And I don't know where Wyatt is, but as soon as he gets back tonight at nine, we're leaving. Not with that guy. He can go guns ablazing. We're getting the [expletive] out of here. I'm not bringing anyone else on board. If Wyatt, I don't even see Wyatt in the next few hours, we're leaving without him too. [expletive] it. I don't care. The [expletive]'s getting dark.

If you care about Wyatt, go find him. If not, I'm gonna see you on the deck at 9 p.m. and we're getting the [expletive] out. I don't care if we paddle our way back to civilization. We're not staying on this [expletive] boat. You hear?

You look over at Percy and he has like a tear in his eye.

Don't give me that, kiddo. Don't give me that. From somebody who didn't want me to go on another heist, all of a sudden you're trying to live your best life here. And hell, you're doing a great job, kid. You're doing a really wonderful job. You are the new Dan the Plan, even though your name is Percy. Percy the planner. That even has better alliteracy, honestly. So, or alliteration. Alliteracy is something totally different. But listen, kid, you're doing great. There'll be other heists. This is not the heist, okay? This is not the plan.

It's not just that, Dan. It's just I went back to the library to gather more information. And Gloria, she was hanging from the ceiling.

Holy [expletive].

Just swaying there like a pinata.

What did we get ourselves into?

She wasn't filled with candy, Dan.

Yeah, no kidding. Holy [expletive]. Okay. All right, listen. We're not we're not waiting till nine. We don't have time. Uh, Percy, we're gonna go up. Mickey, go see if Wyatt is anywhere near the worker court. You don't even have to go in the top security. Just see if he's down there. Go get Wyatt, and we're leaving an hour. That's it. End of story.

What do I do if I don't see him or if it's dark and scary?

I mean, we're leaving in an hour. Be upstairs by the lifeboats. If you're not there, we're leaving without you.

All right. Sounds good.

And then Percy starts running down to the very bottom deck.

Don't give me that face, Mickey.

He gives you a stern look like, come on. Come on.

I'm doing what's right for my crew. All right. Captain goes down with his ship, but we can get the [expletive] out of here and not worry about casualties.

He raises his eyebrows and then kind of makes a worm symbol with them. He's very good at facial emotions. Yes. And then goes back to the come on, look.

I'll have none of that. Yeah, you want to stay here? You solve the mystery of the [expletive] faceless murder, but I'm not doing that [expletive].

He stomps his foot down and then immediately goes chasing after Percy.

Am I [expletive] crazy? Is everybody on this boat lunatic? Holy [expletive]. Why would you want us to I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

Let's go. Um Let me tell you something.

I passed out out here, and the sun has just been baring down on me all day. I've I read out a lot in them, but then you know I found some other stuff.

Great. Wonderful. I gotta go. Good jatting with you. Keep your face tight.

I thought we were gonna make out. Dan. Yeah. Yeah. That ship's departed. Come back, Dan. Dan. I leave that.

So Percy and Mickey the Mime both run downstairs. And unbeknownst to you, Dan the plan, they are also captured. And Wyatt, you are now currently waking up and you see Percy and Mickey the Mime tied to you around a center pillar. You look around, and from what you can see, there are several dark-robed figures wearing these yellow fluorescent robes with a weird sigil that you haven't seen before. It almost looks like a question mark with kind of like some extra stuff coming off the bottom of it. Almost like a tentacle and a hook kind of deal that is red color and emblazed on the back of their robes.

And they are currently surrounded by every other living soul that was on the ship, except for the old lady on the sun deck and Dan the Plan. They are all dead and piled up in this kind of circular fashion. You are almost in a hut made from dead people, and in the center they have the idol. And you can see on one of the individuals, they do have the blue necklace that you guys were looking for originally, but you cannot see the face exactly. And I'm gonna need one more sanity roll because if I saw this, I would [expletive] my pants and start crying. And a 74 fail. Fail. So uh Wyatt, you will lose three points of sanity. You have not lost enough yet, Wyatt, for any crazy harm yet.

It just seems like a bunch of weird [expletive], but you are definitely nervous. Man, I knew I should have bought one of those robes.

Sold him at the gift store right outside.

Captain, what are you talking about?

I'm not the robe. Captain Percy. It's it's me.

No [expletive].

I know I get really into my roles.

I swear you look just like him. You saw the captain before? Well, kind of. Like l if I like saw the captain and like he didn't have a face, like that would be what I saw.

That's not good.

What's Dan doing? We can't let him get caught.

He was talking to some elderly broad when I left, and he told me to come down here and find you.

Did a good job, Hersey.

I try my best, you know. It it they're moving over there. The the hooded figures.

Just act like you're asleep.

Okay. They're not falling for it.

And then as you guys glance over, um, some chanting starts to happen from inside. There's some movement, and then you can see that Boozy, apparently, you're guessing because she is wearing the necklace, starts approaching the idol. And in chanting in some weird language, takes off the necklace and breaks it in her hand very fiercely, revealing only the sapphire left in her palm. And then she places it inside the idol, and it starts to glow a bright yellow from the eyes of this large skeletal creature, and then the chanting continues. Like homosana, homosana, homosana. And then everybody is chanting, and then she backs back to the circle and then continues to chant with the rest of them. And that is all that is happening right now.

I'm gonna start chanting too, trying to copy them, and then if it gets any of their attention, give me a fast talk.

43 That does pass.

Ooh, that does pass. So you do notice that one of them kind of looks back at you and starts walking towards you. And then hey, are are you actually supposed to be a part of this?

Yeah, I don't know why she knocked me out and tied me here with these two.

Oh man, uh did you did you forget your robes?

Yeah, I left them in the gift shop before we It's alright, I I got an extra set.

Here I'll untie you, but not these other two. And come join the circle. Alright, thank you.

I immediately put the robe on and just keep going with them and then like looking around, trying to see if there's any way for me to like cut the ropes quickly.

Okay. Uh give me a spot hidden on that, and then Dan, what are you doing while this is happening?

I'm just pacing back and forth at the lifeboats. Are the lifeboats still there?

Yes, the lifeboats are there and they are still intact, and the old lady is still on the sun deck looking for you.

Oh Jesus, where the [expletive] are they? We said we're supposed to meet 15 minutes ago.

Oh my god, oh my god. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

What are you looking at? Look at like the old lady.

I don't know. I'd go help your friends.

Yeah, that'd be nice, wouldn't it? I mean, they're probably [expletive], oh god, this boat surrounded by cultists and murderers. Uh I've always been a loner, you know. They call me Dan the plan because the first thing I do is create an exit strategy for myself when things go bad. And but man, you know that kid, he's a good kid. Percy's a good kid. Why hit whatever. Mickey, uh, my conscience is really pulling. What do I do? Do I do I get out of here and live to tell another tale, or do I go down and try to help my friends? What do you think, Random Broad? Oh, God, I don't want to end up like you. Is this what it's like to just go a rogue and have nobody with you to travel the world?

[expletive] it. I'll go get Percy. And why didn't God here we go?

And as you start running down, you are instantly met with Jack, the FBI agent. Are we doing this? Are we going down to Gunsablazin? Oh, you're early.

I thought I told you to meet up in 45 minutes.

I got antsy, and I noticed that the entire ship is actually missing. So, like, where am I supposed to go, you know?

Yeah, yeah. All right, great. Listen, my friends, I they're not here, which means they're with the cultists. Time to lock and load, buddy.

You got it, Dan.

All right, here's the deal. I'm gonna go grab the other two. They call me Dan the Plan, by the way. I come up with a good plan, so let's follow this. You're gonna go in. Guns a blazing. Bam, bam, bam, bam. I'm gonna get the kid, Percy. He's a friend of mine. Also, got a cute ass. And then also, we got this guy called Wyatt. You're not gonna know which one he is because he's always in disguise. Literally, do not know what this guy looks like. But whoever looks like the least competent what they're doing, that's gonna be Wyatt. Mickey, you know Mickey. He's a good guy. I'm sure he'll find his way up to the in time, okay? 45 minutes. I'm giving us 45 minutes, and then we're sticking to that time.

We're gonna go get our friends, get out. You got that? Got all that? Write that down. I'm on it. Let's go, Jackie.

And you start running downstairs into the subterranean level of the ship, and you are met with this vision of chanters and this glowing idol skeletal in nature with the Haster logo glowing on its chest very brightly now. There is no sign of Wyatt, from what you can see, but uh Mickey the Mime and Percy are uh currently tied up on like a center structure pillar that's kind of facing towards the cultist group.

Oh [expletive]. All right, Jackie, you ready? I'm my cue.

Locked and loaded. Wait, I I did that earlier. I'm sorry. Let me put that bullet back in the gun. It's very embarrassing. I just got this gun. Alright, here we go.

Here we go. And I start like approaching the center to try to untie my friends.

Was that from Jackie Chan Adventures?

No, I don't know what the [expletive] you're talking about.

That doesn't exist. He wasn't even born yet.

I'm pretty sure it's from Jackie Chan Adventures.

Uh, pretty sure you're wrong. Keep up, yeah. Yeah, what?

Okay, okay, yeah.

Fighty now, you might fight it.

Uh roll a uh sanity check there, Nate.

31.

That passes. Okay, perfect. You've seen crazier [expletive]. Or actually, you've not seen crazier [expletive]. It doesn't [expletive] matter to you no matter what. And then just as you and Jack are approaching Guns Ablazing, the idol itself has become so enveloped in this yellow arcane energy that it is cracking and then it bursts open. And Donnie, I am going to need a dodge roll from you. Alright.

So with disadvantage, that is a 31 fail.

You can use one point of luck if you would like, or you can try to push since you're so close. Uh I'll go ahead and use the luck. Okay, so minus one point of luck off your board there. And just in the right time that the idol explodes, you just so happen to be looking down at, let's say, a [expletive] nickel on the floor, and you're like, oh, I could use that nickel, and then boom, it explodes, and you are pushed back from the rest of the group, and you are kind of slid right inside in between Mickey the Mime and Percy.

And the rest of the group of cultists, now minus the one that was wearing the necklace, are still circled around this now destroyed idol, and then yellow sand begins pouring out of it, and it is taking the shape of two very dexterous-looking figures. They are wrapped in yellow cloth that seems to be almost as if they are underwater and flowing with them. Boozy Letits has backed up completely, and her back is against the wall. And as you look upon this now, you see the two dancers dancing. Are any of you guys making direct eye contact with the dancers? As soon as I go flying back, would I see Jack and Dan in there?

So the way I'm picturing it in my head is that you were just pushed back from the explosion, and you are currently facing in the direction of the cultists, and you still have no idea that Dan and Jack are behind you.

I throw in too that that old guy told you like not to make eye contact when you first met on the deck or whatever, or in the in the dining area. Whereas uh I know my character never got that advice, so my guy is definitely looking.

Okay. I rolled to see if I was looking, and I rolled a 94, so I got the feeling I'm looking.

Okay, so you are both currently staring at these dancers. So I am going to need constitution rolls from both of you. Um, Donnie, for this one, you do not have to roll at disadvantage.

Uh I pass 32.

That is a seven. Oh, you super pass. Okay, so you both are looking and kind of get this feeling that you want to keep staring at these dancers, but you shrug it off instantly. And as you shrug it off, you notice that these two dancers, the way they are flailing and moving about very methodically and as if there is some kind of sub-music playing, they you notice that it is slicing into the flesh. These yellow ribbons that are coming off of their body are slicing into the flesh of these cultists, and they are just sitting there taking damage, blood bleeding out into their yellow robes, and then eventually they dance enough that all the cultists fall down flat.

Are Percy and Mickey okay though? Like are they slashed or no?

No, you are not close enough yet. And now we will enter battle. So, the way battle works in Call of Cthulhu, I have your dexterity scores, and that actually gives me your placement in where you're going to move in the order. So, up first are the yellow dancing monsters, because they actually have an inhumane amount of dexterity that you can notice from their movements. No human beings should be moving like this. And they go up to Boozy, and they are going to try and slice her, and that is going to be a pass. And ooh, Boozy Letits is taking some damage. Good, good. And Boozy Letits has taken enough damage from both of their attackers that she has now fallen face down on the floor.

You can tell that her decayed, fleshy face is now peeling away from itself, and she is currently unconscious.

Did I see that? Yes. That's my first time seeing Boozy's face like decayed. I'd probably need a sanity check.

Yes, give me a roll for that.

Thank you for that name. This time I'm trying to give you what you want. Uh 98.

Ooh, a super fail. Yeah. After seeing Boozy Latits, you realize that that is probably not her. Or if it is, she's some kind of weird walking zombie creature that just can't die, and you are going to lose four more points of sanity. And that has put you at a point to where you have lost enough throughout this duration that you need to have some kind of phobia or mania. So help me out with your character, Nate. What would be something that after seeing the decaying face of the woman that you never loved, but she loved you, obviously, what would be something that would bother you enough?

It could be like anything or logical phobia?

Anything at all.

I'm gonna have like, I'm gonna say it, and we're gonna get dark here. Uh, we're gonna say that Dan the Plan was like sexually assaulted as a child, and he's seeing like predators now um in everybody.

Ooh, perfect. So I am going to roll. And for the next two turns, you are so shaken in fear from these predator versus predator. What's going on here? Um, you cannot move, you cannot do anything. You are just standing there. For once in your life, Dan does not have a plan.

Okay.

And that is the turn on them. And next up, it would have been actually your turn, Dan. So now it is Jack, the FBI agent. He's going to fire a shot at the two dancers. Oh my goodness, he got an extreme pass, and they failed. So he is going to do great Google Moogle. Okay, he blasts one of the dancers directly in the face with his 1911, and it has hurt it incredibly badly. And then that is his turn. So up next, it is your turn, Donnie. What is it that you would like to do? For a majority of the options, you can do whatever you want. This is Call of Cthulhu, so your imagination is your action, but you can fight, you can dodge, you can run. How far away are they?

They're well within um if you wanted to do melee, they are definitely in melee distance.

I imagine the reason why I'm so slow is because I always have that shotgun and the rifle in my pant leg. Perfect. So I'm gonna go ahead and pull out the uh the shotgun and just shoot directly towards the same one that he shot at. Ooh, okay.

For your shoddy, it would be your firearm skill down at the bottom. It would be a 50 to pass, 25 for a hard, and 10 for an extreme. And is that one with disadvantage or regular? No, you no longer have disadvantage. I'm gonna say the adrenaline of what is occurring now. You are all of a sudden doesn't matter that you're sleepy. That is a 19. Ooh, a 19. Ooh, so that gives me a hard. So then the way Kalakathula works, I will roll to dodge against it. And that is only a normal pass for me. So you will be doing damage. So give me your one D10 plus oh my god, plus seven. Uh five plus seven, so twelve damage. And that son of a [expletive], he's dead.

So you do have two attacks on your turn. So obviously it's a double barrel shotgun. So you get your other round if you wish to make an attack against the other dancer.

I imagine that both of those shots just went into the same one, just quick pop. Okay.

Okay, perfect. So then that will end your turn. So that brings up um the one dancer left. He is going to run at you now, Donnie. And that will be a 55 to strike you, which is a normal pass. So you can either choose to fight back with your shotgun or you can choose to dodge. Now, if you choose to fight, you will need to get a hard or extreme pass in order for me to not do damage and you do damage back. But if you do a dodge, then all you need is a regular pass. Okay. If that makes sense. If I explain that correctly.

I'm going to go ahead and try to dodge. That is a fail.

A fail. That was 72. Oh, jeepers. So he is going to be doing four points of damage to you. And how much do you have total? Fourteen? You're fine. Uh, I was at twelve, so. Oh, okay. You're still okay. But you are definitely bleeding now from your arm and leg. It seemed that when he was doing his dance move and came slashing down with his arm, that ribbon all of a sudden became very rigid and razor like and slashed you down. Um, up next, Dan, the plan. It would be your turn, but you are Still out this round, but what are you doing?

I'm kind of like hallucinating, and I'm imagining that like uh Percy's like being like assaulted, and I'm like, Don't touch him, and I'm just kind of like itching and like scratching myself and just like hallucinating a little bit.

Perfect. Up next is Jack, and Jack is going to try to take another pop shot at the other dancer. Are you [expletive] serious? He rolled a nine, so that is another extreme pass, and then that would be a pass as well, but it doesn't matter because that was a [expletive] extreme, and that will be doing six damage to the dancer guy. He is also pretty low now, and that comes back up around to you, Donnie.

Would it look like Dan is like literally just like looking around, or is he just staring directly towards Percy?

Uh, as you look back behind you, you see Dan is in this weird catatonic state where he is mumbling to himself and scratching himself and just staring at a point on the wall, but you hear mumblings of Percy and Sicko and something about predator versus predator.

I want to try to snap Dan out of that.

Ooh, okay. So go ahead and give me an action and then try to give me a let's say. Do you want to try to just slap him awake or just talk to him kind of deal?

Uh, I would be kind of shouting towards him, Dan, Dan, Percy is not a predator. And just trying to like slap him across the face.

Okay, so for this, I'm actually gonna say, give me a first aid roll. You know, you've studied theater and you've seen people shell shocked. I was in a doctor's show once. Uh, that is a 43. That is a pass. With that, you shake Dan awake and he snaps two out of his slumber. And Dan, the plan, your turn is now up because it happened on this round.

Uh like uh Ezreath Metrichnosos. Uh uh what's going on? What's going on? Where am I?

Uh the Percy's not a predator, and that thing's dancing.

Right oh, and I like shakily like take a knife out of my pocket and uh here we go. And I try to like throw it at the dancer.

Give me an attack roll against the dancer. It is a fail. 81. 81? Okay. Okay. Uh he went to attack back, but he also super failed. So you throw the knife and he dodges it, but then as he came slashing down with an attack of his own, you were also able to dodge that.

Okay. Do I get a second uh knife throw?

Yeah, I'll give you one more. Take it.

I I threw two at Boozy, that's what I'm basing it off of in the last episode.

Oh, okay, okay, yeah, perfect.

Um, 95.

And then he got a 90 [expletive] one. So again, a standstill. This dancer is very dexterous, but not enough to catch you, Dan.

Uh, it's uh it's on you guys, Jack. And uh Wyatt, I'm uh on my game today.

So, the dancer's turn now, and he looks over at Jack, no longer interested in Wyatt, because Wyatt is helping you, and Jack is dealing out an incredible amount of damage. He is going to attack, and that is a critical success. So that is going to be a whopping 12 points of damage to Jack, and Jack now bleeding from his throat with a major wound, is grabbing at his throat and falling down. His 1911 sliding towards you guys. And that brings us back up to you now, Dan. It is your turn again.

Um I'm gonna be like, snap out of it, Dan. You've been [expletive] this whole [expletive] ship, but now is the time. And uh anyway, I like reach down and shakily grab uh his weapon, uh Jux gun. Perfect. And I'm gonna hold it up and be like, uh, not today, [expletive].

And you're gonna fire his gun?

Yeah, I'm gonna try, which do I have to check if I have like um what is it?

Firearms handgun. You have a 20% in that Dan.

It's worth a shot. And 96.

Okay, and then the uh dancer is going to attack back at you, but that is also going to be a fail. Apparently, you guys are in some kind of weird standstill. Now that brings us up to you, Wyatt. Your turn.

Does it take an action to reload, or how does that work?

No, I'm gonna say you are reloading in between.

Right, so I'm gonna go ahead and try to shoot again. Perfect. And uh that is a 55 on the first shot, which is a miss.

Okay.

Second shot is a 34.

That will hit because he rolled a 74 on his dodge, so that is a fail on the dancer's part. Oh, seven, that is a ten. Holy guacamole. Uh you blast the dancer point blake in the chest, and he explodes, and then you see yellow ribbon and yellow smoke swirling down and then just settling at the bottom. Pretty much that's it for combat. You see Boozy Latits unconscious, and Jack, the FBI agent, is bleeding furiously from his throat at this point. Uh, meanwhile, uh the mime and Percy are currently still tied up on the pillar unconscious after the blast.

Dan immediately runs over and tries to untie Percy. Percy! Percy, are you okay?

Uh I'm I'm alright, Dan. I I can't see that well.

It's okay. It's okay. I'm gonna get you free. Uh you and uh Mickey too. Mickey, here. I untie Mickey first and then try to get him to help.

Okay. Uh Mickey does not come to. You untie him and he kind of just slumps down.

Uh I untie Percy next and then I start like slapping, trying to slap uh Mickey on the face. Like, come on, wake up, you piece of [expletive], mime. If there's ever time to skedaddle is now.

Give me a first aid roll, Dan the plan.

92.

As far as you can tell, this mime is playing possum.

I don't got time for this. Oh man, I don't got time with this. Boozy, what the [expletive] did you get us into? I like turn and like scream at her.

Uh let me roll. Ooh, she wakes up from your voice.

Dan, is that you, Dan?

What happened to you, Boozy?

Well, let me tell you, Dan.

I'm not Boozy. And then Boozy Letits' body stands up. The face that was once attached to Boozy falls off, and you can see a very prominent male figure behind the flesh of what was once Boozy Letits' face.

Do I recognize that face?

Give me a uh knowledge roll.

Fifty. Fifty. Uh yeah, that's a pass.

Yep. So with that pass, you have seen this individual before in Arkham. He circles the same kind of occult artifact circles that you have frequented before. And he has been known as like a witch doctor or voodoo man that you have seen before. His name is Jet Black.

Really?

That's his name. It's not his real name, but that is his um witch doctor voodoo name. It's awful, I know.

Jesus. Natives are really running wild out here. Well, I actually take solace in knowing Boozy is in a better place and that she's not here anymore. Uh Percy, time to go, buddy. Uh we have to leave Mickey behind. He's taking a nap, and uh we don't have time. Wyatt, let's get out of here.

Where do you think you're going, Dan the plan? You've ruined my plans. Why shouldn't I have to ruin your plans? And then I need you to make a power roll real fast, Dan the Plan.

Sixty three. Which fifty-eight is so fail.

Fail. So I need you to lose a whopping. Oh, it's dark in here. Two magic points, actually, you are losing.

I'm gonna look down at Percy and be like, hey, kiddo, it's time for you to go. I'm gonna be right behind you. Uh take this gun, and you're gonna shoot at anything except Wyatt that comes near you, okay? Wyatt, you're gonna go. It's time to go.

That [expletive] ate my hot dogs. And I immediately let go of a blast towards the thing that was using Boozy's body.

Perfect. Roll to attack. Oh, that is a 16. Holy [expletive]. I rolled a 98 on my dodge. So uh you go ahead and you roll that damage.

The five plus seven, twelve damage.

And that is enough. Um, as you see Jet Black, the Voodoo Witch Man, draw in magical power from Dan the Plan, and it seems like he's trying to summon something else from inside his chest. You see the magical energy starting to converge, and you don't give a [expletive], Wyatt, and you unleash a blast of your shotgun, and it hits him dead center, and he goes down with a thud. Very anti-climactic, but that is real life.

No one takes my hot dogs on set.

Wyatt, I have never been more impressed in you in my life. Now, can we please get the [expletive] out of here?

Yeah, are we just supposed to leave them?

Yes. Yes, that's exactly what we're supposed to do. Let's go. And I uh I like push Percy ahead and I'm like, let's go. Not before making a grab at that idol. Did the idol crack?

The idol did crack, but the sapphire is still intact.

Yeah, I want to grab that real quick and then make a run for it.

Perfect. You have the sapphire in hand. And then um also anything else. Uh all the crates are still sealed, so I didn't know if you wanted to have enough time to go through them or if you were just getting off the ship. We're gonna go, I'm good. [expletive] going. Okay, so you guys make a run for off the ship. Give me a track roll, both of you guys, for running off the ship.

Oh, yeah, I failed. That was an 82. Yeah, I failed.

You are both extremely winded and make it up the stairs out of the bottom deck, and if there was exhaustion, you'd get one point of exhaustion, but there's not. So now you're extremely tired and you are going to be briskly walking the rest of the way to the lifeboats.

Well, I just want to say as we slowly climb multiple flights of this ship. I'm sorry, I talk so much [expletive] about you. You are the only reason I'm alive right now, me and Percy, and you're you're a good guy, whoever the [expletive] you are.

Oh, you were talking [expletive].

I can see the lifeboats, Dan. They're right up ahead.

Get in, get in. I'll I'll let you guys down.

Um, as you are slowly lowering down the lifeboats, the old lady that was up on the top deck is still sitting up there.

Like nonchalantly.

She looks like she could be sleeping or she could be dead. You don't know.

Leave her. There's nothing we're left worth to save from this [expletive].

Okay, so you, Dan, are lowering down the lifeboat with Wyatt, the mime, and Percy inside.

Oh, did we carry? I thought we left the mime.

Oh no, definitely did not carry the mime. Oh, okay. So the mime is left behind. So it is you, Percy, and Wyatt uh lowering yourselves down. Are you inside the lifeboat or are you lowering the lifeboat down from the top deck?

I imagine I'm lowering Percy, and if Wyatt wants to get in with him, and then I was gonna lower myself down.

Are you able to lower yourself down or the way this is rigged up is that one person needs to lower the entire boat down, and then you can try to lower yourself down via the rope and ship.

Dan, since Dan like spent time up there waiting for you guys and you never showed, he was like already getting ready to like manipulate this stuff. So he's like, get in, get in, know how to work this. Yeah, so I jump in with Percy.

Okay, and then no problem. I'm not even gonna have you roll for it, Dan, because you have been spending a lot of time on that sun deck and probably looking at the escape boats more than anything else on this adventure. So without a hitch, they lower down to the water level, and now it is just you there.

Hey, give one more look at the catatonic woman. She farts. All right, boyage.

And then as you are making your approach, um, there is a kind of captain's phone or crewman's phone next to you, and it starts ringing.

Oh man, I don't think it's a good idea. I'm gonna ignore that.

All right, and then you ignore that call and then hop on the rope and lower yourself. Give me just a let's say a climb roll. I want fail. Fail. And then uh Wyatt, I'm gonna need you to give me just um, let's say a strength roll to see if you can try to help and catch Dan as he's falling on this rope. That is a 24. Whoa, that is a super pass. Um, Dan, the plan, you slip on the rope a little bit, but then as you are falling through the air, um, you are caught in the arms of your good friend Wyatt, the disguise expert. Why, you son of a [expletive].

Guess this is a good time to finally show my face. And you see, like he starts wiping his face and where his nose is, there's just one giant nostril. There's a reason I always wear a disguise.

Oh, yeah, that's off-putting. But I'm not making fun of you anymore. I've learned my lesson. You're a good, good guy, and you you'll always have a place in my crew. Why?

Just gotta wait for the next call. I promise I won't wait out front this time.

Yeah, that sounds good. Let's get the [expletive] out of here.

And with that, Dan the Plan and his now very slim group of adventurers and investigators make their escape from the RMS Carpathania. What lurks ahead? We do not know. Did we know Dan was gonna survive? That son of a [expletive] did it. Tune in for next time on a special adventure of Nat One Presents, the Daft Monks Podcast Intermission.

Can we also like credits roll and at the end it cuts to like Mickey waking up?

He sees that nobody's alive. So uh Mickey the Mime wakes up and I'm gonna make a roll for it. Yep. He sees that nobody is alive and he wanders around and then he answers the phone. He just picks it up and puts it up to his ear. Hello, this is the operator. Mickey the mime makes no sound. Hello, this is the operator. Mickey the mime again makes no sound. Listen here, you son of a [expletive]. I know you can talk to me, Mickey. [expletive] talk. Your vocal cords work. Nothing. Mickey the mime is playing it safe. You know what? [expletive] this and [expletive] Dan and [expletive] you. It's over. All of a sudden you hear nothing on the other end, and then the RMS Carpathania slowly starts drifting into the sea.

Amazing. Wow, what a session.

Um that was a full-length [expletive] session there. I didn't know it was gonna go so long.

Yes. I will uh yes, we will be editing this as best as possible for our listeners just to get a concise story. Thank you so much, Donnie, for being on the show. I hope you enjoyed it. You get to see the sloppy side after editing when we cut out all the dead air and the uncertainty and me dropping my dice. It actually usually turns into like a coherent thing.

No, that was awesome, especially for being a first Call of Cthulhu game. Like that was I was not expecting that. That was awesome.

Thanks for having me. I didn't think we were gonna live. I thought there was no scenario where we survived. That's what I thought. And there probably wasn't, except for you and Jack both shooting amazing.

Yeah, who would have [expletive] thought?

I guarantee if I had [expletive] disadvantage still, that would have been so bad.

[expletive] Jack, I didn't know it's gonna do so much [expletive] damage to those two.

You made that character, you didn't even have to give him a weapon.

He was an FBI agent. He needed some kind of weapon, and a defunct one at that. That's true. And I got to roll some dice, right? Been a while since any of us rolled some dice.

Don't you guys play DD on Saturdays?

With digital dice, Nate.

Oh, that's right. That's right.

This is the real stuff. You could hear the clickety clacks.

Clickety clack and me dropping it constantly because I have [expletive] ADHD. Thank you so much, guys. We're this has been already been a long episode, so we will just cut it. Thanks for listening. If you want to share an episode on social media, look forward to more episodes like this in the future. We are wrapping up uh the season of D Hunters pretty soon, and so there'll probably be some intermission episodes more like this. Um, I might air this episode immediately. We might air this together with other episodes, but stay tuned, and pretty soon we'll have some exciting announcements about our next season and our theme.

Thank you. And be sure to check out the polls on Spotify, leave us a comment, uh DM us on our socials. We will greatly appreciate anybody that is willing to talk to us and tell us how awesome we are. And once again, big thank you to Donnie for joining us on our Nat One adventure.

Huge thank you. Thank you, and good night.

Bye. Bye bye.