Roleplay for One | The Retirement
Edited audio transcript

Edited from an automatic transcription of the original recording. Strong language is masked; selected personal asides and adult material are marked [Editorial omission.]. Transcription errors may remain, especially in names and lyrics. Timestamps come from the source; paragraphs split for readability can share a timestamp. The original recording contains adult language and themes. Announcements and offers reflect the recording date.
Source: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2187585/episodes/9468678-roleplay-for-one-the-retirement.mp3

[0:00] You're about to listen to the first experimental season of our show, formerly called Nat One Presents the Podcast. For better audio quality and our current ongoing DD campaign, skip ahead to season two featuring the Daft Monks. On this episode of Nat One Presents.

[0:17] Alright, I'll tell you, since everybody wants to know something from me. Who's everybody? What's going on?

[0:23] People always come to me for information. I'm known as we've been here a day.

[0:28] Why does everybody think?

[0:33] Adventure. Heartwarming stories. Role-playing that could only be seen by the gods. Here at Nat One Presents, you get all that and more. Now join us as we start another epic tale of Convo.

[0:49] Just kidding. This is Nat One Presents, a tabletop role-playing game podcast that takes your favorite nerdy games and pop culture icons and ruins them with improv.

[1:00] Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents the Podcast. Hey Nate. Hey Chris. How's it going? Good? What's going on? Hey Phillip. Uh you know, I've been better, Nate. I've been better. Just better? Yeah. I get that. You know, I saw Mortal Kombat. I did too with you. I know.

[1:17] She's being conversational, Nate. Oh, okay. Sorry. What did you think about it?

[1:21] For for quick, because we're gonna do a bonus episode for the Patreon members about our full review of Mortal Kombat the movie. But just for like a quick thought, what are you thinking about it?

[1:31] I was a little disappointed. There's definitely some cool stuff. Um, definitely a lot of great references, a lot of like they imitated things from the game and and reference it all the time, so it's cool. But Sonia is trash, and a lot of the dialogue, the dialogue, like the plot is a little weak, and then the dialogue is really weak. Kano's back must hurt from carrying that entire video.

[1:51–2:08] [Editorial omission.]

[2:08] Yeah, I like preferred the first Sonya Blade better. But so I don't know. That was my summer blockbuster if there was one.

[2:14] Right. You know, and that's still enjoyed it, you know.

[2:17] It was fun, yeah. We talked a lot [expletive] during the movie.

[2:19] It was great. Like the I called like uh what three different scenes before they happened.

[2:24] Nate is really solid at like right before like the the one I I recall is it starts to like sub-zero under an area like outside in like Los Angeles or something, and like ice starts to form. And then he's like, he like leans over, he's like, but it's July. And then someone's like, But it's July. And like he did it like three different times in the movie, and like so. I mean it goes to show one how bad the dialogue is, but then two, Nate's just it's it's uh a hobby of mine guessing what they're gonna say in movies.

[2:51] So um today we're gonna do a call of Cthulhu campaign. Um, but before we get to that, something that scared the bejeepers out of me happened the other day. So Roscoe is standing over by the corner of the door, and he sometimes he talks to himself when he plays or whatever, but he was having a full-blown conversation with the corner of the door, and I was like, What the hell is he doing, man? And I don't want to kill my parents. Like, no, you just like blah blah blah. I couldn't really understand, but at the very end, I understood him clear as days. Like, okay, bye, and waving to the door, and then so I asked him, like, who are you talking to? Oh, the orange slime ghost. I'm like, the orange slime ghost.

[2:51] You were talking to the orange slime ghost in the house. Yeah. Okay, that's fine. Immediately freaked out. I was like, Megan, we gotta do something about this. I think that's what I'm doing. Yeah, I got a new house. Yeah, something's going down here. So I asked him to draw it, and he's two, so it's just squiggly orange circles. Still terrifying. Still terrifying. Still terrifying. So uh I do think the house is haunted. We're gonna have to do something about this.

[4:00] Your younger one, like, seems I've I've not really interacted with him, but he's really intense. Like from the stories you tell me, he's all or nothing. Exactly. Full on crazy or really just full-on crazy, though. Seems to take after you.

[4:12] Uh a little bit. One of the games that we just started playing. Well, actually, I don't want to play it, but he wants to play it called I'm gonna smash you, where all he does is say, I wanna smash you, and then proceeds to jump on my head. And that's like a game we play. But back to the story at hand. We are gonna, I'm super excited. I dressed up for those of you who can see on camera. I'll put my hood up when I become the keeper.

[4:37] And real quick, speaking of those who can see, I'd like to thank our newest patron, Zach, who went ahead and became a subscriber and you can now watch our shenanigans in full HD.

[4:45] Thank you, Zach. You're the best. Uh we haven't done this in a while, so you're probably a number one fan right now. Number one. Kyle. Number one.

[4:51] Number two.

[4:52] Yep. Sorry, Kyle. For now. You've been bumped down. Haven't heard much from you, no comments or anything lately, right?

[4:57] Actually, he went through like all our videos and commented the other day.

[4:59] Well, son of a [expletive]! All right, you're both number one. Yeah, you're both number one, especially in my heart. But today we're gonna be doing uh Kalakthulu. It's uh gonna be carrying on with the original story. We're bringing back a couple characters that uh people seem to enjoy. Nate's character of Rusty, the old uh security guard. I will be playing Harry, and then Chris was actually gonna join in with us a little bit later with a new character that we're bringing to the story. But the name of this one is uh Geriatric Ghosts. It's it's great. You'll love it, I promise. I I worked really hard on it.

[5:36] We're we're very excited if you can't tell. We didn't get the memo to dress up, but we we we are really pumped for this story. Yeah, we really I get all the good feedback about the terror exhibit episode. I really enjoyed play Rusty. That one you cracked me up a number of times, especially in character, which I thought was funny. Um, so happy to revisit them. And yeah, uh again, thanks to all our patrons. We have a third mic now. Roleplay for one doesn't have to be for one because we have a third mic, and so happy to have Chris on board.

[6:04] That's one of the reasons I dressed up too, because now I have company, you know.

[6:07] Like we're like I wasn't enough.

[6:09] Well, you know, it's I gotta play so many characters, but now I can be like the keeper of the characters. You're still gonna play like 90% of the characters. Let's be real. Let's be real. All right, all right. Okay. Are we ready to start? Questions, comments, concerns? Okay. Um, just the top off the bat, we do change things up a little bit from the the rules is written.

[6:28] Deal with it.

[6:29] Sorry.

[6:30] Deal with it.

[6:30] We're not sorry. It's fun, okay? So if you're a rules lawyer and you love Call of Cthulhu, do that in your game. Don't bring it to our game. Just letting you know.

[6:39] Very confrontational, but yes. I will fight you about our rule set or lack of it.

[6:45] We're here to have [expletive] fun, and you're gonna watch us. Now and sit back and enjoy it. Have a good time. Now this first uh section is uh I have labeled as the old folks' home. Um the outskirts of Arkham lies an old three-story tall medical building, originally supposed to be the Arkham's newest hospital, complete with new age technology and a psychiatric ward. But due to funding, uh funding losses and word of mouth that the building uh was gonna have a bunch of psychiatric patients in Arkham, it got nixed. And so the building was kind of left to rot there for a little bit, until one day a man named Cecil Shackle, a millionaire philanthropist and adventurer, came to a revelation. Uh on one of his adventures, his grandmother became incredibly ill.

[6:45] And he thought to himself, I still need to be able to go out and adventure. And what about other people? What about people who don't have the funds like I do? So he decided to dedicate his time and effort into building up this old building into uh basically an old folks' home, or what else did I put? People who are incompetent and can't really do anything for themselves. So he built this place.

[7:57] Uh marketing pitch right there. Right. For the incompetent and people who can't do it. For the elderly.

[8:04] Um it's the very first of its kind. Um, because usually I did all the research on it. Usually there was uh some private places that would do like old folks' home stuff, or like basically you were left up to your family back around the 20s and everything like that. Also, a side note, I looked up fluorescent lighting because I really wanted fluorescent lighting in this building. It wasn't commercially available until 37. So that instantly pissed me off. Just a side note for those of you at home. I did the research. You always do the research, Nate. Well, okay. Looking at sentences and [expletive] forest and lighting history. I want to be believable enough where even if I'm making [expletive] up, people would be like, well, he's done his research. Well, he did his, yeah.

[8:04] [expletive] it checks out on that. He did his [expletive] due diligence. He said um so the place has been open for about six months already. Uh business was slow at first until word of mouth got out, and then reviews came in and things are looking great. Uh families all over the East Coast are asking Mr. Shackles to take in their loved ones. So now we're gonna enter into uh Rusty and Harry driving in a car going towards the home. Um little bit of backstory. Something happened to Rusty's wife. She passed away. Um God bless. Um I guess we can just uh pick up from there. What do you say, Rusty? Are you excited to go to this place?

[9:24] Harry, it's like a resort, but for older people. I hear the puzzles are exquisite.

[9:30] I think you're gonna do real good there. I'm really sorry about your your dame, you know, your your your broad.

[9:37] Yeah, you know. We're not all meant to be on this world forever, Harry. Just like you're not meant to stay at the retirement home with me and follow me around.

[9:45] Well, I offered you numerous times. You could stay at my place. I know it's only a one-bedroom apartment, but I I stink real bad and I don't really do dishes or anything like that, but you could stay with me all you want, you know? Like I you can give me foot rubs and stuff after a while. All right, I understand. Well, this place looked really nice from all the brochures that I got.

[10:01] Yeah, yeah, no, I it looks pretty, pretty robust for I heard that they couldn't opt for the fresh and lighting, but other than that, it was pretty solid.

[10:10] Yeah, I'm pretty disappointed too, you know. Like it seems like the new age thing, and a place like this is supposed to have new, the newest of the new, and they didn't come out commercially for another couple years now, you know, so I'm pretty upset about that. Thanks for bringing it up again, Rusty L pal. Yeah, no problem. Um, but be sure to to know, okay. If anything's wrong, you can call me, I'll answer my phone right away as long as I'm not driving, because it's quite a drive from Arkham. And I'll be here, I'll come visit you every day if you want. Yeah?

[10:36] I'm tired. I'm literally going to this place so that I can take as many naps as I want, as frequently as I want, for as long as I want. Can I nap now?

[10:46] Yeah, go ahead and close your eyes there, Rusty. We'll be there pretty soon. You close your eyes. Yeah. Okay, you take a nap. Uh the whole time you're driving while you're trying to nap. I think you're uh used to it now because in this time period that your wife passed, uh Harry's been there for you. He's just like humming the whole way, and that's as quiet as he can. He's like, hmm-mm-mm-mm, mmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the two. So uh you guys are uh leaving Arco man. The drive is a little bit uh out there uh through a bunch of woods and forests and everything. This is really remote, Harry.

[11:18] I mean my eyes are closed, but I can tell. I can just tell by the quietness and the bumpiness of the road.

[11:24] They said that was one of the best things about it. It's so far away from the city, it's super quiet and comfy out there.

[11:29] Yeah, I want to get away from everyone, everything, and just finally have my time.

[11:35] I understand that completely. People really bug me, even though I don't have a lot of friends, but I'd like to make some more friends. Actually, people don't bug me at all. I really love people. I love being in the city, you know?

[11:43] Uh yes, Harry, I know.

[11:45] Okay, cool.

[11:45] I worked with you for many years after I was going to retire, and for some reason decided to stay on and basically be your professional babysitter.

[11:54] And I really appreciate that every day you taking me on your wing like that, you know, like that was my first night there, and what are the chances that something like that was gonna happen?

[12:01] I don't I it all feels like a dream now, you know. Like sometimes I ask Harry, did that even happen? You know, did you really whatever turn into that monster and rip that woman to shreds?

[12:13] Probably not. I think we like may have been slipped some drugs or something. We were hallucinating. Like I heard I've been reading an article about peyote out west, and then they they make you see things and stuff like a vision quest, you know?

[12:24] Yeah, I don't think it's that, but thanks, Harry.

[12:27] Oh, no problem, you know? Someone could just sneak peyote into a cupcake or something. You never would have known. Except you didn't get cupcakes on the day of your retirement, which is kind of sad. You didn't even get a card or nothing like that.

[12:34] It was my second retirement, and they still did not give me a car, Harry. How much work does it take for everybody in the department in the museum to sign a card?

[12:42] Oh, look at that! The building's coming into view. And uh there's a big clearing that opens up off the road, and uh surrounded by forest, and now this big open lot. Um, there's a large stone three-story building. It seems really out of place amongst the whole nature backdrop uh with the ivy covering it up and everything like that. And you get the vibe that nature itself is like constantly trying to like reclaim this place as its own, like the way the ivy's climbing up on the walls and like the plants seem like they got cut a little bit ago, but they're already starting to grow back and onto the thing.

[13:13] Harry, does it seem to you like nature's trying to reclaim this place?

[13:17] I would say that'd be a great way to describe it, you know? I mean, look at that ivy just kind of like crawl up there and crush it. You can barely see out of some of those windows.

[13:25] Uh that's uh it represents figurative, Harry. See, the the the ivy is people I don't want to talk to. And the structure, the foundational building, keeping the ivy out is is this well, actually, literally it is the retirement hall keeping everybody out so that I'm inside of it alone with no one, not even you.

[13:44] No.

[13:45] Oh, you're good now. Okay.

[13:50] Um, so uh as Rusty and Harry pull into the driveway, they are greeted by a nurse and an orderly of some sorts. Um, and she come up comes up to meet you. Uh, just so everybody knows, I'll just uh explain it now. The nurse's name is uh Mrs. Lana Chris. She's in her late 30s, blonde, extremely attractive. The orderly is a Mr. Brutist Montgomery. He's in his early 20s, he's very bruiser-looking kind of guy. Um scar going down the left side of his face, uh, jet black hair. I'm not afraid of him. I met his tap. All bark and no bite. I like I want a picture in my head too that like his jaw kind of like sticks out a little bit. We call that underbite. Um, Lana greets you as you open up.

[13:50] Uh Brutus will take your bags. Please follow me and we'll check you in and show you to your room. Just like a hotel hari.

[14:44] I love it here.

[14:45] Oh, you're gonna be very welcome here.

[14:48] Yes, that's what the pamphlet says. Thank you.

[14:50] I was actually reading off of it. So uh Oh wow, Rossi, this place is huge. I don't can you live here all on your own? You sure you don't need any company or anything? Like I can move out of my place and come stay with you if you're.

[15:05] You act like you're 12.

[15:07] I think I'm 30.

[15:08] Holy [expletive], I actually thought you were way younger. I feel I literally imagine you was like a baby. No, like giant legs follow me around screaming.

[15:18] My mom says I only went through a half of puberty and she's still waiting for the other half to kick in.

[15:22] Yeah, bless her heart.

[15:23] I got like six armpit hairs. You want to see them? Nah, uh one. Oh, okay. So uh as you guys approach, uh, there are two large wooden doors leading into this building, and they are uh engraved with uh a very intricate design. There's an hourglass in the center, and then circled all the way around it is like a life cycle thing. So there's like an infant, there's children playing, there's adults working, uh circling around, there's old people just sitting on a bench having conversation, and then finally there's like a couple, and the wife seems to be pregnant standing over a gravestone.

[15:56] Wow, that's real graphic. And then it's a wrap spectrum. It really just like illustrate basically the tragedy of getting old and dying alone.

[16:06] Yeah, I didn't think about that at all. When I see that, I'm like, wow, I wish I could really do some cool art, you know.

[16:12] You didn't like the mural exhibit a lot.

[16:14] I loved it.

[16:14] And then I after so much that you started painting on it, and then we got in quite a bit of trouble. I thought we were gonna lose both our jobs.

[16:20] Finger painting. It's the new thing, I think. No one's doing it, you know. I figured I could be the first guy.

[16:26] You like the, yeah, uh, sure. Stick with the play-doh, I got you.

[16:31] Don't stay behind too long. Follow me, follow me. Uh, as Miss Lana is walking you over to the place. Um, as you enter the building. Uh, for those of you at home, picture a uh a kind of a mix between uh American Horror Story, the asylum mixed with the mansion in Resident Evil 1. So it's very grand. There's a large circular staircase set in the center of the room, uh, a double circle staircase that goes around, and that leads to the upstairs. Uh very front center, there's a reception desk, and then off to the side there is a hallway, and then a couple offices, and then on the other side, there are another long hallway that leads to some of the rooms on the first floor.

[17:11] I'm imagining like the place from Jurassic Park where the diner, like the T Rex comes in at the end.

[17:16] Yes, yep, yep. Yeah. So like there's uh it's uh all marble floors, it's really nice. Um there's some plants and stuff, there's a couple statues. Or they're trying to take back the place. Narrator.

[17:31] I thought it was a good description and you keep bringing it up.

[17:36] Um let's see. Uh okay, so uh nurse Chris walks behind the desk and grabs a couple folders. Let me see, let me see. Um Rusty, was it? What was your last name? Grimes. Rusty Grimes. Rusty Grimes. I knew a Rick Grimes. He was pushed over a ledge by some trash people. And that's when I stopped. That's when I stopped watching that show. Oh, here it is. Here's your file. Um, okay, I have your room already set up. Uh it turns out you will be on the second floor. We saved the first floor for the more the old incompetent.

[18:12] Yes, the incompetent. I'm highly functioning. I can see. You can basically just leave me alone and I'll just do my own thing in this little castle resort thing you got going on.

[18:19] Well, it sounds like you're gonna be a lovely guest here, Rusty, and I'm excited to have you.

[18:23] I can't wait to spend my last days here.

[18:28] Um okay. Um blah, blah, blah, blah. Grabs your folders, checks you in. Um okay, uh, Rusty. I guess um I guess I'll go and I'll go now and then I'll catch up with you tomorrow. Is that sound okay?

[18:42] Oh no, you can skip the last second part. Just you can just go.

[18:45] Oh, okay.

[18:46] This is here. Come here, bring it in. Bring it in, kid.

[18:48] Oh, this is the first time I've ever been hugged.

[18:50] Oh no, that's not what's happening. He just kind of patted the shoulder.

[18:55] I almost felt loved for a second.

[18:58] I love you in my own way.

[19:00] And I appreciate that, Rusty.

[19:02] Now at arm's length.

[19:03] I'm gonna miss you for this next 16 hours. I'm not gonna be able to see you.

[19:06] That's really not necessary, please. Is there a guest list, ma'am? Like an approved list of people come in and out.

[19:13] Oh, I'm afraid he signed all your documents for you, so he is your uh sole guardian legal regret.

[19:19] She's so [expletive] lazy, that dumb [expletive]. She literally just gave Harry all the paperwork and let him sign for me. Now I have literally no control in my life, and it's just like a 33-year-old man, baby.

[19:28] Your wife loved me, and she also left me your pension. I hate that. Okay, very well. Just exit, please, young man. And Mr. Grimes, if you will follow me upstairs to your room, that would be great.

[19:41] Yes, I cannot wait for my suite, my solo individual, one-person room to spend my life with.

[19:48] Ooh, about that. With the amount of money you received from the pension that uh Mr. Harry is carrying.

[19:53] It would be a very respectable amount.

[19:55] It was very respectable, I've been told. Um you might have heard of it. You are signed up for a split room. Son of a p. It's with a man named Bruce, and he is also an ex-soldier, so I'm sure you guys, based on your charts, will get along fabulously.

[20:11] Well, I guess that's not so bad. As soldiers, we kind of get each other, you know. We've been doing the same thing, like the same battles.

[20:19] Exactly. That's why we do half-assed research here at the shacklhouse. Home for the elderly. Um the shackle house. Yes, I okay. Because his name's Cecil Shackle. I just got that, yeah. Oh, okay. And then so uh as you're actually going up the stairs, there's a huge large oil painting of Cecil Shackle himself, and he has uh an exotic fur robe on, maybe a leopard or something like that, and he's got like a big shotgun in his hand, and just like as you're walking up, the eyes seem to almost like follow you as you go. It's like one of those creepy kind of deals. Actually, yeah, I used to have [expletive] like that at the museum all the time.

[20:55] Oh, here we go. I'm gonna put my hood on since it's getting creepy now. All right, spooky. There we go. Yeah, that's spooky. All right, here we go.

[21:05] So you pass that. Now I can't really see you. How's that? How's that? Alright, no hood. We try it. Okay. Okay. Uh, as you're walking up, give me a um spot hidden check.

[21:23] Uh that may not be that's a fail. Fail? Yeah. Okay. I'm so excited to be here right now. Uh not paying attention to every little detail.

[21:32] Okay. Yeah, you just uh walk by and uh you notice like before the rooms actually start, um there is like a a broom closet over there, is what you notice. And then you just keep proceeding down. Um here we go, here we go. Um Did I skip too far ahead? Okay, so just FYI for your information. Um Yes, I know what FYI means. You are sharp witted, mister Grimes. Um the third story is still currently under construction, so it's awful though.

[22:08] Oh, am I gonna hear noise all the time?

[22:10] We have had a couple reports, but it's nothing to be alarmed about. We think it's just pigeons.

[22:15] Oh, okay.

[22:15] But no construction going on. No, nothing like that at all.

[22:18] Jackhammers or any whatever.

[22:20] We've had to put it on hold for a little bit. But why? Just here uh financial reasons, really. You know, like we open our home to even those that are less fortunate, and they pay what they can.

[22:31] And with those kind of funds, we don't really have I paid a lot more than most can. I just want to clarify.

[22:37] You did pay about the medium amount. Wow. And then also um at uh dusk, we do incorporate a lockdown procedure here so that nothing bothers the patients. We don't want visitors coming in at night.

[22:52] You listen here.

[22:54] He's gone. Oh.

[22:56] I miss him already.

[22:59] Um, so we uh the doors will not be opened back up unless, of course, there is an emergency like a fire or anything like that. So if you're outside when we lock the doors, you're stuck out there till morning, and where they will be reopened. Wow, that's pretty okay. We take sounds super secure. We take safety very seriously here at the shackle house, home of the elderly.

[23:22] And the less fortunate, and the median, and the median and the poor, and whoever else you want to throw in here.

[23:29] Um facility be locked down, blah, blah, blah, done. Emergency, dunno. Okay, now follow me to your room. Um boom boom boom boom boom. Um I jumped ahead on that part. Um, so as I told you before, you will be uh sharing a split room. I am sorry to tell you about that. You'll be in room number 14, which has a very nice overlook of the hedge maze garden below. So go ahead and unpack, make yourself comfortable, and then I am gonna continue my rounds.

[24:03] Okay, it's been very nice to meet you, Miss Lana, whatever your name is. Chris. Miss Chris, yes. It's like Kiss, but with an R. Okay, I can spell, but then I just can't remember things.

[24:15] Okay, and then uh it's only a couple more doors down. She kind of like walked you pretty much uh there. And you open up the door.

[24:23] Before that, I'm just gonna say, like, yeah, Harry. I know you're not here right now, but this is uh this is this is kind of what it's been leading up to. And I uh you know, kid, like you're the closest thing to a friend I ever had. And I'll never tell you, but yeah.

[24:39] I picture him like outside, like looking up to your window, like, I heard that, Rusty! God damn.

[24:46] I love you too.

[24:48] Just look off to your left and you say I got lost.

[24:52] Where's the bathroom?

[24:54] Okay, that didn't really happen. Okay, so um, you walk up to the door and then you are greeted by that's you, Chris. Like uh describe yourself, your name, and your character, please.

[25:06] So how I'm envisioning this happening is Russie comes and he opens up the door. He's got his own keys or whatever, and off in the corner, have my own like setup, just like one of those big high-backed chairs, just like a little fire, probably in the trash can.

[25:25] Okay.

[25:27] Just there snoring away.

[25:30] Okay.

[25:30] What do you do? Is that safe? Ms. Chris, dumpster fire isn't loud in the room. Uh uh, hello, um sir. Uh I'm not good at these kind of things. I'm a soldier, and uh okay. Well, that's not so bad. Um just cover this fire up with something. Are you? So I guess I could close you like that. Yeah. Well, it uh looks like uh we're gonna be roommates, Mr. I'm I'm rusty, you? I don't care if you're rusty or not. Okay, well, we're off to a great start. Uh listen, I'm a soldier, you know. I I'll keep to myself. I'll kind of use that corner. You have your corner. Can we just agree not to let anything on fire in the room?

[25:30] That's really I didn't think we'd have to set that rule today, but that's really the only rule we need to have.

[26:35] No.

[26:36] Okay. Alright. Well, I'm sure Miss Chris can sort that out. I'll just be over here unpacking. Uh, please don't let my stuff on fire.

[26:44] Thank you.

[26:46] So uh as you're unpacking, um you get all the way done, nothing exciting happened or anything like that. You're free to go about the manor, if you will, the shackle house, and you can explore. There are key points if you want to just walk around and look around or whatever you want you guys want to do, it's up to you.

[27:04] I'm gonna open a window uh first, because it's kinda that smoke out smoky here. Uh I'm gonna go down and check out some of the facilities. How long have you been here, Mr. Bellsworth? Mr. Bellsworth. Uh is this your first day as well? No. I've been here for I don't know how long. Space just open. Like a I think like a week or two ago. I haven't even finished the third pillow. I have a very bad memory. Are you one of those dementia babies?

[27:40] You're supposed to arrive a couple hours before Rusty did. Sorry.

[27:46] No, it's okay. I was married to a uh a liar.

[27:52] So used to it. Okay, so um let's see here.

[28:00] So the first floor has some small offices, the two long hallways uh filled with room, uh large metal doors, small windows in these rooms. Um and that's pretty much it. It leads to some of the key points. Um no no no no no no no no no no. So there is the hedge mage out b hedge maze out back, there's a large uh bathroom area, there is the library, there is a rec room, there is a dining hall. Um, with the dining hall, is it adjoined to the kitchen and access rooms? And that seems to be about all I have here for now.

[28:00] So you got the the third floor you're not supposed to go to, second floor with your rooms in it, uh the first floor, and then connected to the first floor, all those things.

[28:49] And there are some rooms with like the less stable people on the first floor.

[28:53] Yes, on the first floor, yeah.

[28:54] As well. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Uh I'm Mr. Bellsworth, I'm gonna go check out the rack room. I I have a penchant for puzzles, if uh you know what I mean. Puzzles, you say? Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I knew, I knew we found something coming.

[29:10] Two old dudes getting all worked up about puzzles. Okay.

[29:13] This one's a Victorian house with a flag on it. Love flags.

[29:19] So you guys uh work your way down to the rec room. It's pretty easy to find. There's signs everywhere because it is an old folks' home. And uh inside the rec room are uh two large fireplaces built into the walls. Um and just uh basically like a little it's also like a little reading room. Uh there's tables and stuff to write on and do things like that, and there's also uh radio in the corner of the room.

[29:43] Oh, yeah, radio. Have you uh you listened to this before? I don't listen to those things. Not anymore. Yeah, they're kind of spooky. I don't know. Where's the voice coming from? I don't know. Oh, I don't know. I'm a little deaf. A little hard to hear. Oh, that explains a lot of your answers recently.

[30:03] As you uh glance over at the radio as you're talking about, it flicks yellow a little bit and then goes back. Okay. That's it. So that's what um so you guys just hang out in the rec room for a little bit doing your puzzles?

[30:15] Yeah, we're gonna bond a little bit.

[30:17] Okay.

[30:17] I'm going to grab one of the tables and very slowly move it over towards the fire.

[30:25] Oh. See you're remodeling already.

[30:29] I like fires. Please, Mr. Bellsworth, an orderly comes in. Do not move the furniture again. You've only been here a couple hours and you're rearranging everything. We can't put the furniture so close to the fireplace. I'm sorry to tell you that again, and then they leave and go about their rest. Like they just pump their head in and they're like, son of a [expletive].

[30:54] A little pushy around here. Am I right? I mean a bunch of dickheads. Yeah. Yeah.

[31:01] Okay, is there uh anything else you guys want to do before it starts uh getting dark out or anything? It's up to you.

[31:06] Uh no, Rusty wants to go back and continue to unpack, and he's he's tired from Harry. And that's really there's like a ring in your ears like I sure do love you, Rusty!

[31:19] It's like it's still here.

[31:20] And birds are just on fire.

[31:23] And you do they're gonna do the same thing, Bruce? Yeah. Okay. So you guys go back, unpack. Let's say it's starting to get a little bit dark now, and uh get ready for bedtime.

[31:33] Bruce, if you don't mind, I'm gonna put on my gym jams. Uh and uh you hear that kind of crazy thing. Like if you get locked out, they keep you out all night. I mean, not like we'd go, you know, perusing through the garden or the hedge maze late in the middle of the night, but that's that's pretty make sure you don't go on one of your crazy sprees and just disappear at night.

[31:52] You might get crazy sprees.

[31:55] You know, I it's the kids are saying it is catchy, you know. Uh the kids. Yeah. Well, no, there is a kid who literally follows me everywhere. You're gonna meet him. He's probably gonna show up tomorrow, even though I asked him not to come.

[32:06] Um In fact, I'm counting on looking forward to it. Yeah.

[32:12] Okay, so um you guys talk for a little bit and then finally you kind of break off and fall asleep. Um both of you feel like you wake up a little bit, and then you're still kind of together in this room, but everything seems kind of off. So you you feel like you're there, but you're not. It's all kind of warped and dark. And um, you kind of like start doing things without really realizing that you're doing it, and you both get up together, and you kind of you can talk to each other, it seems like, if you want, like you can converse with each other, like by getting head gestures. You seem like you're both kind of together in this.

[32:12] But as soon as you open the door that leaves the room, it turns into a cave. And this cave is dark tan colored, but there's like torches lining the walls and everything like that, and it leads to like a narrow passageway. And uh both of you give me a listen check.

[33:12] Oh, that's a bad one. That's terrible.

[33:14] Yeah, mine's a fail, too.

[33:16] I got a perfect okay. Uh you guys don't hear anything, but you can kind of see the the flames from the torches on the walls flickering if you were to go further down the can we have like our own thoughts again, yes. Yep. And if you guys want to, you can talk amongst each other and everything like that. That reminds me of Nom.

[33:36] That's it.

[33:37] That's all he says. Nom, it's the 20s. Oh.

[33:44] Well, [expletive]. The Great War. The Great War. Well, that wasn't that was like super long before that?

[33:51] No, because it was the Great War before the 20s, and then the World War II happened in the 40s, but right?

[33:58] Sure. I don't know. My bad. That sounds about right. Right? I like that you research fluorescent lights, and I guess you knew more about wars than.

[34:05] I asked Corbin about that [expletive]. I was like, Corbin, does this make sense? He's like, France Ferdinand, yeah, it's World War I. I'm like, okay, cool. Okay. So yeah, you guys can uh talk to yourselves, but you're kind of like uh still being drawn to the end of the tunnel as you're walking. Um give me another listen chick real fast as you're kind of pressing into both of you, please.

[34:31] Uh fail by one point.

[34:33] Oh, oh, so for those of you at home, uh Chris is fairly new to Call of Cthulhu. So we have things called a push where you can push your luck, where you can stop and really listen. But if you push too many times, something bad can happen to you. Or you can use one of your luck points to basically get down that point. So however many luck points you use, you just take it off there, minus it, and then you can add it to your roll to make sure you pass. I'll push it.

[35:00] That's just rolling again, yeah? Yes, yeah.

[35:03] That's a pass.

[35:04] Ooh, awesome. Okay, so uh as you guys come closer, you pass two right now? No, I failed. Oh, you failed? Okay. So only Bruce can hear. I pull out my hearing horn and put it in my good ear. Come again. Um, you can hear uh whispers coming down the hall. Um it's in English, but it sounds almost gargled and muffled a little bit. And you can make out some words here and there, but that's pretty much all you get. Those kids who don't see it, you know.

[35:33] I just can't understand anything they're saying.

[35:35] It's almost like talking to someone with uh the mask on for Corona. You're like, I understand you're talking to me, but what the [expletive] did you say? Uh and then as you uh push forward, there is uh one uh cloaked figure that you can see uh from behind wearing a pitch black cloak, and then there is another cloaked figure wearing this time a brightly colored yellow cloak.

[35:58] Does the cloaks look resemble like anything from the museum incident many years ago? Um it looks Miss Winters.

[36:05] Uh give me a check on that, actually, and see. What kind of check? Uh what do you got? Is there a hist uh what do you got? You know, just give me uh a knowledge or yeah, an education check.

[36:17] And is it anything that I would notice with my occult knowledge? Go ahead and roll for that too as well. It's a pass.

[36:24] Uh just a regular pass. Okay, you uh Rusty, remember that that cloak looks exactly like the same kind of material and color that was used when uh Miss Summers, I believe her name was, was doing her ritual.

[36:39] Okay.

[36:40] And that's what you can remember from that. Mine is a tie.

[36:44] Oh, so you get it. Um from what you can tell, is like it's definitely a cult in nature, the way the cloaks are shaped and everything. Uh, but you can't really pick up what branches they are. It almost looks like they're two from two different sects, from what you know. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Uh, as you do get closer, you can finally start making out uh what they're saying. And both of them are talking amongst each other. You can't tell who's saying what, but you can hear them pretty clearly.

[37:13] And they say The humans have found a way to hurt us using an old form of magic from the demigods that came from our first sleep. Our brother believes it's time to sleep again. Let them forget again. They're so good at forgetting. I do not wish to sleep, but if he's asking, he's telling. I have so much more I need to do.

[37:36] God, I wish I could read my own handwriting.

[37:41] Oh, it's a problem.

[37:42] Oh yeah, sorry, sorry. Uh what's our deadline? Brother says that all children brothers and sisters shall be asleep by the next moon.

[37:53] Very well. I will make arrangements till we wake, brother.

[37:57] Until we wake. And then uh after that, the cave around you starts to like twist and conform and break apart. And then now you guys are standing inside of a uh small farmhouse. And then uh give me a just some kind of check that you're looking. I don't care whatever you want to use. Just it's a definitely a pass.

[38:22] Okay. Uh mine's definitely not a pass.

[38:27] So, Rusty, you notice uh by looking out the window here in this little farmhouse that the area surrounding it looks an awful lot like the area that they cleared for the shadow house.

[38:37] Yes. It's almost like the the environment's trying to take back the farmhouse.

[38:42] Maybe throw down my pencil.

[38:45] Greta would be proud of me. How dare you make fun of nature? Okay.

[38:51] Yeah.

[38:52] He was actually saying that though to uh Bruce, because Bruce wasn't there for his other fence.

[38:56] Okay. Um, and then uh you look over, and there is uh the same man in the yellow cloak uh is over a workbench of some kind, uh, and he's just muttering to himself, I have to sleep, but nothing says I can't wake earlier. Who's there? And he stands up from what he's working on, and then uh give me a spot hidden. Ooh! I'm like you the other day.

[39:25] I've got a perfect hundred and a perfect one.

[39:27] Mine's gonna be 21, which I think passes. Yep.

[39:32] Perfect. As he uh stands up and turns around to confront you, you notice that he is working on the box. It's just that it looks pretty much exactly like that. It's opened and it looks like he was carving some kind of runes into it, or maybe uh adding like different compartments or things to it, just from what you can tell from a glance. And that's such a good [expletive] role.

[39:54] I want to do another check um once again because the Miss Summers did present the box with me. I remember because I didn't get a retirement card. So I want to see if I remember perfectly. Yeah, give me just uh education knowledge. Um I'm gonna use seven points of my luck to pass that.

[40:13] Perfect. Uh you do remember it clear as day. It's pretty easy to uh remember that box that was flaunted in front of your face instead of a retirement card. And that is the exact same box that was used at the museum that Miss Summers was looking at.

[40:29] I would like to pull a gun on him. Okay. Being woken up from my sleep, thrown in a cave, and then all of a sudden I'm in a farmhouse and someone's accusing me of something.

[40:39] I got a bad feeling about this. I don't have enough time to explain the whole story, but a lot of this is reminding me of a really odd experience I had.

[40:45] Uh go ahead and uh figure I'd pull just like a handgun out from my like gown?

[40:50] Are you gonna shoot him or just uh point it at him for now? Okay. Um let me see. Uh he said who's there and then ah company. Only in your astral, huh? No matter. I've met you before, and he's looking at you, Rusty. Yeah, you stay away from my astral. But it was in another place. Hmm, very well. I must bid you adieu for now, but you two have fun. Oh, and if you wake me early, I might spare you. So have a good night. And uh Get out of here. With that, uh his cloak actually opens up and you can see his piercing yellow eyes staring back at you, and it almost seems like something's moving under his skin. Like uh pushing out and like slithering. Oh my god.

[41:39] Creepy.

[41:40] And then uh with that, the uh I always say that. Uh the cave starts, or no, the the farmhouse, excuse me, starts to like crumble down and break, and then uh both of you wake up.

[41:51] Oh, Bruce. Did you just experience what I experienced? [expletive] myself? Oh, well no. That's that's um I I dreamt and uh man, it just must have been a bad dream, but I remember these people in robes and they were the exact robes from the museum, and then there was the box, the box from the very bad night at the museum, and I have a bad feeling about this place. I don't know if we should stay here, Bruce. What's that smell? I see half a bunch of [expletive]. I were I uh I recognize those cloaks too. Oh what are they? I just I I don't know where they originate from, but people who tried to threaten me, my friend, Harry. I told you about him, he's a good friend.

[41:51] Uh people who tried to threaten both of us at the museum, like genuinely tried to kill us, they wearing those cloaks, so it can't be anything good. But where do they come from?

[42:46] Do I know where they came from? I just know that they're from like separate things, right?

[42:50] Right, and you know that they are uh connected with different occult activities that involve different gods.

[42:57] Okay.

[42:57] So actually give me a uh give me another occult role or even just a knowledge or education role. Uh it's a pass. Okay. You do know that uh they are from different gods. You were able to verify that. So based on your dream, it was probably two different gods talking amongst themselves. You you know that.

[43:19] I can't really remember who, but I know they're from two different gods they worship.

[43:26] Oh, I don't want to sound less, Bruce. I think like I came here to be left alone, not to [expletive] deal with some [expletive] higher power, you know. Higher power I want is the Grim Reaver taking me to my sweet, sweet Greta who left everything to Harry for some bizarre reason. But listen, I I think we should get out of here. I last time I saw this stuff, it was a bad night. Bruce. I don't I don't know if we can get out.

[43:51] Oh [expletive]. It's uh starting to break dawn right now, so the sun's coming up and everything. But give me a listen check, both of you. Even though you're two old deaf people. Can I borrow your little 91 made as deaf. Five. Ooh. Six. Superpass. Extreme. You hear a lot of rustling and bustling outside of your room right now. It seems like, from what you're hearing right now, it seems like everybody in the whole building is walking up and down on your floor outside of your room. Like something's going down.

[44:22] Okay, the door.

[44:24] I was gonna go open the door. You're gonna go open it? Yeah. Okay. Uh you open it up, and in fact, everybody on the second floor is out in the hallway. They seem to all be gathered about something, and they're all whispering amongst each other, and they're kind of like looking at something.

[44:39] See what they're looking at?

[44:40] Yeah, you go and inspect it. Yeah. Okay. You walk up closer and you fight your way through the crowd a little bit, and there seems to be a body uh draped over, like a sheet draped over a dead body that's just laying in the hallway there. Um looking around, yeah, that's pretty much it, unless you want to investigate any further in that. Yeah, I'm gonna pull the sheet off. Okay, it's uh Bruce No. It's actually uh what the [expletive] was his name? Uh Brutus Montgomery the Orderly. The guy with the like overbite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who brought up your bags and he's laying there like stone cold dead, and like some of the older ladies, after you pull the sheet back, are like, oh you haven't seen death before, you know.

[45:23] Some of us went to war. We brought death.

[45:26] Um uh miss uh the nurse comes up. Please, please, gentlemen, please stop right now. Um, can you cover Brutus back up, please, until the authorities get here? There's no reason to cause alarm, people. These things happen. People die every day. This is an old folks' home after all.

[45:43] Jesus Christ, Miss Christ.

[45:45] There's no reason to get up in a tizzy, please.

[45:47] I did not pay the medium income amount to be murdered in cold blood.

[45:52] No, it was probably an accident. That's why the authorities are coming to investigate. Now, please, everybody, shoo, shoo, shoe. No reason to stay here. Um the everybody else kind of like steps starts stepping away from the body since they were told to leave, but it's up to you guys, whatever you want to do. If you want to ask around or like investigate the body even further, it's up to you.

[46:14] Let's spit up, Bruce, and do a little bit of recon. I'm kind of good with the ladies, or at least I was back, and that's what Greta told me. And Harry for some weird reason.

[46:26] Okay, so uh Chris, just give me a general spot hidden on the body.

[46:31] No, uh medicine or anything like that.

[46:33] No, yeah, just a spot hidden for now. Uh it's gonna be a fail. Yeah. Okay. Uh overall the body just looks like a dead body, nothing too extreme or anything like that. There are a couple like weird-looking uh scratch marks, and if you want to investigate with medicine, you can on that. But an overall- I mean, I'll try. Okay, that's all we can ask for.

[46:53] That's a fail. That's a big fail.

[46:55] Yep, there's some scratches on a dead body, and that's all you're picking up from him. And then uh anything else you want to do to this guy, Brutus?

[47:04] I'll tuck him back in. I'll not put the thing over his head while we're tucking him as a bigger one.

[47:08] Tuck him in, make it look like he's just taking a little nappy in the hallway. Okay, perfect. And then uh Nate, you're gonna walk up to some elderly women. Okay.

[47:18] Well, hello, ladies.

[47:20] Huh?

[47:22] I I said hello. Do you do you know why this Mr. Underbite was what happened? Who was the first one here? What do you see? How did you find him?

[47:32] Oh, that would be Susie over there. She's real gossipy.

[47:38] Oh, okay. Well then she'll be the pervert one to talk to. I'm going with you. Goodbye.

[47:43] But you're so handsome, come back.

[47:45] I sound like [expletive] Harry, yeah. Supposed to be an old person. Sorry, I'm not good.

[47:51] It's like a distant cousin, like great aunt of Jim, who does great old ladies.

[47:58] Sorry, okay.

[48:00] Okay, so you go and talk to another lady, Susie. Uh, go ahead and roll for me on uh your charm or whatever you want to use on her.

[48:09] Uh it's so I hear you like to gossip like a dumb broad.

[48:15] I love to gossip. I gossip as much as I smoke cigarettes.

[48:20] Yeah, that sounds like a lot from what I can tell.

[48:23] A lot, a lot.

[48:24] So uh how do you find this uh Mr. Bruce Underbatt?

[48:28] Once it's you, are you interrogating me? Oh, I see, but you're the new guy here. What's he matter to you? What did he do? Just bring your bags up for you?

[48:38] Yeah, that's what he did for everybody. Okay. Why are you talking like me? Are you trying to be are you intentionally trying to mimic me? No, I'm not.

[48:46] I'm bad man. Um alright, I'll tell you. Since everybody wants to know something from me. Who's everybody? What's gonna- What are you talking about?

[48:56] People always come to me for information. I'm known as we've been here a day.

[48:59] Nosy Susie.

[49:00] Why does everybody think? What do you want to know?

[49:05] I walked out of my room and there he was, just dead on the floor. So you were the first one to see him. Of course I was.

[49:11] So you're a suspect number one.

[49:13] No. Impossible. I'm too old, and my voice is too smoky. That's true.

[49:18] We hear you coming in my house.

[49:19] Yeah, have you heard my breathing? I think I got emphysema. No, I'd say you'd be lucky to have that. What is it you want to know? There was a murder last night.

[49:29] It's obviously a murder. A man in his health with that kind of underbite just doesn't keel over in the middle of the hallway. Think about it. He could crack walnuts with that now.

[49:39] Yes, that was the first thing that crossed my mind as well. I just need to know, you didn't hear anything. You didn't see anyone. You just walked out and there was a dead body on the ground. That's correct. I already want a refund. Bruce. Bruce, we're getting out of here. I am done with this.

[49:54] I have more information if you care.

[49:55] Oh.

[49:56] A lot of stuff. Nosy Susie. That's why they call me nosy susie. What else you got? Okay, let me give you the rundown of everything that's going on here since you just got here, and I'm nosy Susie. Those notes? Yes. She whips out a little notepad. This is everything that's going down in this place. I'm thinking about escaping, but I have nobody else out there to take care of me, so I'm stuck here. You are clearly insane, but I'll abuse you. Just a little bit, but I'm still here on the second floor, so that's a plus. So, note number two, besides the murder last time. Every week, someone goes missing. I don't know what it means. We've been here all day.

[50:30] I'm very confused about the timeline. I know you all have dementia, but the place has been open now for about six months.

[50:36] Okay, so me and just me and Bruce are near.

[50:39] Okay.

[50:40] Okay. Every week someone goes missing. I don't know what it means.

[50:44] It could mean that they're old people and they just die of natural causes, or it could be something more sinister. I don't know. I'm just nosy Susie. Number three. There's rumors of monsters in the woods. Hence the lockdown at night. Coincidence? I think not.

[51:04] I'm gonna like look at Bruce and I think do you like the cuckoo? Yes, exactly.

[51:09] There's cuc not one cuckoo clock in this entire place. Coincidence, I think not. She writes that down like you just brought up a good point. Number five.

[51:19] There are rumors of the staff conducting black magic. I don't know when or where.

[51:26] And they're rumors. Oh, did you hear the rumors from Okay, I just made it up.

[51:31] But still I'm letting everybody know.

[51:32] Uh noses, Susan.

[51:35] This one's a real rumor, though. Are you ready for this? It's a doozy. I've heard it from at least five people. There are screams that come from both the floor of the lobby and from the third story.

[51:48] She's like looking at you with like crazy wild eyes, like you [expletive] impressed? Like, yeah. Old lady with nothing else going on.

[51:56] I think we're good here.

[51:58] Okay. But you are very intuitive. Uh I will keep checking with you and we can compare notes. Mine sane and legible, and yours not.

[52:08] I put a star next to the toe, not super important.

[52:10] The pills that we take, they suppress dreams. I don't take them. I've had dreams of a faceless demon ripping men to pieces and yellow, endless sea of yellow fruit.

[52:21] What's that? You say yellow? Yellow. Just the color. Everything there is saturated yellow. It's it's fields, it's the sky, it's the water. Everything's yellow in my dreams.

[52:33] She's like giving you like Yeah, insane eyes. Listen, Susan, I know you don't caught nobody, and well, I can unsee why, but you might be best to get out of here if you can possibly do that.

[52:45] Uh in the middle of your conversation, Ordaly kind of like starts coming up. Susie! Are you at it again? Leave the new people alone, Susie. Nobody wants to hear anything about your antics. He's one of the occultists. Just look at him. I'll see you later.

[53:02] She puts her notepad away like a scurry somewhere.

[53:07] Um so uh the orderlies come up and they're trying to secure the area, and they're like, uh, you over here actually give me a listen check to see if you overhear him or not. I don't know how. Both of you, I don't know where you guys stand or what. It is uh fail for me. I passed. Okay. So, Bruce, you overhear that uh alright, guys, we need to like clean this up as fast as we can.

[53:30] Go ahead and get on the phone and call in some of the night crew to come in. They can work this shift and we can lessen up the night crew a little bit. Uh, we need like at least three more dudes in here. We need to get this place on lockdown until the authorities get here and we can get rid of this body.

[53:43] And they're like, huh, hop, hop, hop, hop, and they get to work and everything. Um gimme Okay, so uh you guys are still standing in the hall, kind of. Uh they're moving the body now out of the area. So give me a spot hidden from both of you again, please. Two nailed it.

[54:03] Uh seven.

[54:04] Perfect. Uh you notice that he has like a weird lightly colored tattoo on his arm. What? It's uh it's a symbol of some kind. Like uh give me an education check or an occult check from you. Uh I'll push it.

[54:21] Uh it's a good, good pass. Pass.

[54:23] Uh I failed my push. Okay. Um you're trying to like really remember, you actually get knocked down by one of the orderlies. Like push down, like, move it, geezer. Uh, and you remember that those symbols do look familiar to the ones that were used in the ritual. Yes. Because I'm sure you're gonna remember things like that.

[54:42] Like it haunts you in here. I've been trying to put it in the back of my head for a long time. So I can't hear very well, clearly, from my lassie rolls, but I do remember things, and this is all it's all looking point and bad. Point and bad. Point and bad. Point point bad. Point and bad.

[55:01] Hmm.

[55:02] Okay. Um, and with such a good spot hidden, I'm just gonna throw it out there too, that you notice that that same mark, uh, as you're kind of walking, I'm gonna say you're walking with the body like following it along after you saw the mark, you're like trying to get a more inspected. You look over and glance over at that uh cabinet from earlier, the the cleaning closet, if you will. Yeah, the and the same symbol is etched underneath the lock mechanism of the doorknob.

[55:27] Oh my god. I need to get back to my room.

[55:32] You're gonna go back to your room? Yeah. Okay. Um you go back to the room, there is a letter left on your nightstand table. Okay, Rusty.

[55:42] Okay.

[55:43] And all it says is, please, something dark is coming. Um What did I mean by oh okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. What do I mean by dark? Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Uh something dark is coming. The staff must be built by tonight. I can't say anymore, but good luck. And PS, trust in the gods. Susie.

[56:03] Does it look like Susie's handwriting? Because I saw her notebook.

[56:06] Give me a roll, Anna.

[56:10] Uh 5030. Um, what kind of role are we thinking?

[56:15] Uh oh, psychology or yeah.

[56:17] Or spy in, whatever you want to throw out there. Okay. Um it is. It's a fail either way.

[56:27] A fail? Okay. Yeah, it just looks like female handwriting though. Okay. You got that much out of it. Okay. It's definitely not neat enough or clear to be a man's handwriting. Man.

[56:36] Man, man. I want to draw the symbol and show it to Bruce and be like, does this mean anything to you? Boom.

[56:47] Does this mean anything to you? Does that mean anything to me?

[56:50] Uh rolling occult.

[56:52] Uh, it's a pass.

[56:53] Ooh, it is a pass. Um, that is a symbol for Haster. And that's all you know about it.

[57:00] And do recognize that. It's in one of my books. Haster. You surprised me. I when we first moved in, I thought you were just clinically insane, but you know quite a bit about the occult and dark things. I just remember and books and puzzles. Yeah, that's what it does. Yeah. Alright, listen. I don't know. This again, I saw that symbol. I saw that box. I saw that, you know, those two gods, the yellow god who looks like he had something in his skin or something. Yeah. And then the other god. I don't know. I just, man, I think we gotta get out of here. It's still daylight. We have time. If we leave now, we won't get we won't get locked in here a second day. But where are we gonna go?

[57:00] Anywhere but here, man. What about nature? I know. Might overtake us. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. I need to uh, man, I wish I could get a hold of Harry.

[57:56] You wish to go call him on the phone?

[57:58] Yeah.

[57:59] You can. There's a the phone down in the lobby that you can use for such occasions. Okay. Yeah, like do that. I don't need to roll for a phone. No, you can call him. I know his number.

[58:07] Yeah, yeah. You gotta memorize.

[58:09] On the speed dialogue.

[58:10] Wing wing wing wing. Um, hello?

[58:13] Harry.

[58:14] Oh, Rusty, how's it going?

[58:16] Listen, remember that night we were talking about just the other day? We're talking about the museum.

[58:19] How could I ever forget that was our biggest bonding moment ever?

[58:22] It's all happening again. I I'm I'm concerned for my safety. I'm concerned for my roommate's safety. I need you to get here, Step.

[58:28] I'll be right there. Click. Um, it's about a two-hour drive, so Rusty will be there in about an hour. Harry will be there. Oh, yeah, sorry. Harry. Okay. Sorry.

[58:37] Two-hour drive, Harry will be there now. Okay.

[58:42] Um, so as you're uh waiting for him to arrive, are you doing anything or anything like that? Either one of you?

[58:49] Uh now might be a good time to like kind of explore around a little bit, get our bearings.

[58:55] Did he see the note that was on my thing about the staff? Uh, did you show it to him? Uh yeah.

[59:00] I figured that's what you probably drew the thing on.

[59:02] Look at this. Look, sorry, I drew someone on the back, but look, we need this. I don't what does that mean?

[59:07] Do I know anything about something connecting Haster and a staff of some kind?

[59:12] Um you know what? Just give me a another occult. Ooh, a two? Yes. Dang. Um you do know that let's say you know that there are supposedly weapons that could destroy not the gods themselves, but definitely the creatures that these gods make. And just from that note, that's all pretty much you can get from it. I'll convey that.

[59:41] There's some kind of weapon to deal with this. But where would we find that? They don't just keep it in the puzzle room, you know. Maybe maybe in the janitor's closet. They got locks on that. That's a good point. That that symbol we saw, it was directly under the handle of the broom closet. You uh you look really crafty. Can you like, you know, finagle like break into things? Lock pick. No. Not at all. Okay. Well. I do have a gun though. Well, that would make I would draw a lot of attention. There's gonna you know there's gonna be extra order lease and stuff now. Nozy Suzy's like somebody say gun. Somebody say gun. And then just like footsteps the right way.

[59:41] She has like a she has like a newsletter that goes somehow she like prints and distributes this stuff like on a regular basis.

[60:30] I'm thinking her like on your door with like a glass ear up to it. What are these news guys saying after all that gossip about it?

[60:37] She's doing it like the glass the wrong way.

[60:38] It's not even like I can only hear my heartbeat. Terrible detective.

[60:44] Um, let me see. Uh back in my day, I was a little, you know, I was a janitor, I was security, yeah. So maybe I could finagle it a little bit. Um so I'd like to go over to that broom composite and maybe uh mechanical repair and try to see if I could like yeah, the uh closet right now is unlocked and you kind of open it up right away. I'll stay on guard outside while he goes in and looks. Yeah, boost, got my back. My six.

[61:08] And um give me a spot hidden. Um let's pass. A pass. You do notice that on the far back, so this is just a normal janitor closet that you're familiar with. There's supplies and everything in here, but on the far back, there are weird etches on the floor that looks like this back wall is movable somehow.

[61:32] Bruce, come in here real quick.

[61:34] I'll pop in and close the door behind us. Two old guys in the class. I really hope that didn't lock. No, it didn't. Uh look over there. Does that look like etchings and like does it look like a natural wall?

[61:48] Hmm.

[61:50] I assume I recognize it.

[61:51] Yeah, because he's pointing it right out to you. You can also see that.

[61:54] No problem. It looks like we might be able to move this. All right, help me out. My back's pretty bad, but you're disposable.

[62:01] Uh give me um a strength roll, both of you. Or if one of you wants to do it, and then you can have advantage, whatever you want. Um, I failed. I got a three. Super three. Okay. Um Rusty's no help at all, grabs his back.

[62:20] He's gonna grab a broom and just jimmy it in there and try to shove it open.

[62:24] Um, as you're pushing on it, you can tell that there is something locking this wall into place. And that you it's like you can push and push, but it's not gonna budge at all. But there's some something you have to do to like kind of unlock it, probably.

[62:38] Yeah, something's locking this to the wall. This is [expletive] banana crazy, but give me you got like a pen or a marker or something. No.

[62:47] Okay.

[62:47] I got a gun. I'm gonna look around. Is there like a yeah? I know we've got the gun.

[62:52] Yeah, there's like loose paper in here. Let's say there's a clipboard with like an inventory sheet on there you can flip over.

[62:57] Yeah, I'm gonna like draw the symbol and then just like press it against the wall.

[63:02] Nothing, nothing happens.

[63:03] Oh, that's all I got.

[63:05] I guess look around the room for like something to indicate like some mechanical means of opening.

[63:11] Uh, the only thing that uh seems to make sense is that when you open the door, the lock itself on the door knob and door handle seems to have a third uh locking system inside of it, inside the door, if that makes sense. Like on the door jam or on the the door handle itself. So like on a doorknob or whatever, you have the piece that comes in, then there's the deadbolt lock. And this one seems to have some kind of third rod that connects to do something.

[63:40] Alright, I got another near. Susie, I know you're listening. Come in here. Yeah, I'm here. What's up? Alright, listen, I need you to do some reconnaissance. All right, there's uh clearly a key that opens this this door. Uh-huh. All right. I need you to ask around. Has anyone seen any weird orderlies with special keys or anything like that? Or have put you stand post and watch and see if anyone goes in and out of this closet.

[64:03] I already know exactly what you need. Oh. It was the dead guy. He has another key that he uses. Sometimes he'll walk in there and just grab supplies, and other times he'll insert the key, even though it's always unlocked, and go in there for hours and hours and not come out. I know because I stand in this hallway for hours and hours waiting for him to come out.

[64:21] Susie, you've been very helpful.

[64:23] Thank you. No problem, it's why I'm here. I'll be in the shadows.

[64:31] Anyway, I like that which is just gonna be the like the like [expletive] tutorial. I would like to ask like when we're stuck.

[64:37] It looks like you need a key. I would check downstairs.

[64:41] In his office, maybe just like the paperclip thing for [expletive] word, but if she was [expletive] insane. Looks like you need to spell like that word.

[64:51] So what do you guys want to do?

[64:53] Um so what we we saw them carry off that body, and presumably did they uh uh Bruce, did you hear what they were talking about earlier? I heard some muttering, but I couldn't make out what the orderlies were discussing. They were talking about trying to get more guys in the world. Yeah, that makes sense. Did they say where they were gonna store it, the body? No. Maybe. All right. Well, my guess is they're not gonna just get I mean, we're in the middle of nowhere. They probably don't have a [expletive] ambulance outside. Like, maybe I go snooping around and we find the body, we we take that key back.

[65:31] Hmm. Good idea.

[65:32] Let's split up.

[65:34] Terrible idea.

[65:38] Uh so you guys uh work your way downstairs, and you can see uh two orderlies are kind of standing post at one of the offices. It's kind of uh out of the ordinary for them just to be standing guard outside of an office.

[65:50] Oh, orderly, I seem to have pulled something in my back while relaxing in this wonderful shackled state. Could you could you take a look?

[66:00] That's not really my job. I think you should get Nurse Chris to get involved with that. Oh, she's a nurse, too. Yeah, she's a nurse. Wears a lot of hats. Yeah, she's a receptionist, last nurse. We gotta pay for all these orderlies around here, you know? Not a lot of money rolling in with all these medium wages coming in.

[66:17] All right, all right. Okay, fine. Uh I guess I'll go find nurse Chris.

[66:24] Okay. Uh, you find her? Yes, what seems to be the problem, dear?

[66:28] My back is barring me. I need some firm, strong hands. Someone come and reset uh my my lower lumbar.

[66:35] Oh, perfect. Orderly and then one of the orderlies that was standing guard comes over and like, could you rub this man down, please? It's his only second day here, and there's already been an accident of some sort, and I'm sure he's stressed out. If you would do me a kind favor and just give him a gentle massage to kind of ease his tension. How big is the guy that comes in? Uh, pretty big.

[66:54] I'd say like my build, kinda. It's like, okay, okay. Uh yes, yes, that would be great. Uh if you don't mind, nurse. Uh it'd be great if maybe you could step out of your own office.

[67:05] Oh, yes, no problem. I'm more than happy to, you know.

[67:07] Only thing more fragile than my back is my pride.

[67:10] I understand. Very well, very well. I have to go make my rounds anyways and go check on the baths and whatnot.

[67:14] That's right, you do a lot of things here.

[67:16] I do [expletive] everything around here. I didn't want to, you know, have more people around here. Just one female NPC is all I really wanted. So we got nurse Chris slash reception. And Susie. And nosy Susie. Uh yeah, she leaves the office and the orderly is in there with you right now.

[67:34] Okay. Um is Bruce with you? Yeah, where's the Bruce?

[67:38] I figured that I'm not gonna be in there with you.

[67:41] Oh, okay. I have an idea of what I want to do. Okay. You go along with your thing. All right. Oh, I'm gonna, it's uh you have to reset the the lower, you know, the lumbar and the discs. It's gonna just, yeah, really just snap it in there.

[67:55] Alright, I'll I'll rub you down, old man, but then I need to get back to standing guard, alright? Yeah, let's get to it. All right. And he starts rubbing.

[68:03] Ah!

[68:03] I'm like obnoxiously, I'm not actually in pain, but I'm like obnoxiously yelling, trying to get Bruce's attention. Like, oh, this really hurts. Orderly man. Roll a listen.

[68:15] Because I'm gonna say her office is right next to the office that they're keeping the dead body in just for giggles. Oh, nice. Right, it's just right next to her. Uh, it's a pass. Yeah, you heard it perfectly fine. His his code to you.

[68:28] I'll try to kick in the door.

[68:30] There's still one more orderly right there. Uh-huh. I'm still gonna try to kick in the door. Okay. Sir, what are you doing? I'm trying to kick in the door. Is that allowed around here? I'm kind of new.

[68:41] Yes! Okay. And then you go ahead and roll strength to kick in the door.

[68:49] Uh it's a pass. Ooh, alright. You kick open the door and it flies wide open, and the dead body is laying on top of his desk. This is his office or whatever, he's the head orderly. And he's laying on top of his desk. The sheet's still covered over him. Are you sure you're allowed to do this? Yes! They told me to stand guard for some reason. Do you who are you?

[69:08] Uh, I might need another orderly over here.

[69:11] Ah, just then. Uh nurse Chris walks by. Orderly. Um Bruce, right there, we'll we'll we'll stand guard, I'm sure of it. He's a good gentleman. He's an ex-war hero. He's not gonna be getting in any trouble. Can you go in there and help with Rusty, please? That would be great. And then she like keeps walking down the hallway with her clipboard like she's [expletive] busy. She's got a lot of [expletive] to do.

[69:30] I want to like enforce that by like pulling out my gun and standing in front of the door like I'm on guard.

[69:37] Alright, I can I can see you have this under control. Uh I appreciate it. I'm going there and help with your your roommate, I guess. Okay. And then he leaves and goes into the [expletive] door for some [expletive] reason. Who knows why?

[69:49] Alright, I'm gonna go search the body room.

[69:51] Oh, give me a spot hidden.

[69:52] You put the gun in your hand. Yeah. I've used the gun to like poke around and stuff. He doesn't like set it up.

[69:58] Oh yeah, give me a handling too. Okay, you can't.

[70:05] Is it handling its own stud, or is it just the gun one?

[70:08] It's just the gun number.

[70:09] Okay. Yeah, I pass.

[70:11] Okay, perfect. Uh nothing even happens. Uh with the spot hidden, though, you do notice that there are to the right of you on the rack inside this office. He does have his keys hanging up, and there are a whole ring of keys on there, but one of them is an all-black onyx key, and it does have the same symbol as the one that was notched in the doorknob upstairs.

[70:32] Oh, perfect. I'm gonna take all the keys.

[70:34] Okay, every single one. Okay, perfect. You now have keys to every place in the building.

[70:39] Cool. I'm gonna go stand in front of the door again and pretend like I'm guarding it. Okay.

[70:44] I'm sure. In my head, Rusty's like, I'm sure he's gonna give me a sign when he's all done. Uh, but in the meantime, I'll just keep having these men, these male orderlies.

[70:53] So now you I think you're almost there. Now you have uh two male orderlies uh just rubbing you down, trying to basically uh comfort you because they care.

[71:02] You're so close, that's almost the spot.

[71:04] Wait, what are we really doing here? We're so close. What do you mean by that?

[71:07] I'm just a crazy old man. I'm gonna go now.

[71:09] All right, you you take care, all right. If you have any more problems, please talk to Nurse Chris and don't bother us anymore. We're busy. Yeah, you do good work, boys. Uh uh, you hit the spot, it's great. I'll see you later. And then uh you walk out, and then uh obviously the orderlies look over at Bruce and they're like, All right, we can take it from here. What happened to this door? And then he starts arguing with the other order.

[71:30] I was just gonna salute and walk off. That was a modifying salute. Were you a soldier? Yes. Oh, so was I the Great War? Yeah.

[71:41] Hey Rusty, what's going on?

[71:43] Thank God you're here.

[71:45] What's happening? You told me to come and I got here as soon as I can.

[71:48] Isn't it a two-hour drive from here?

[71:50] I got here really fast. I floored it the whole way, and then at one point I ran out of gas, so then I ran the whole way, and then I had a hitchhike for a little bit, but I made it.

[71:56] Wow.

[71:56] See, this is uh this is this kid. There is nothing that gets between him and stops him from his goals. All right, so we're on to something here, and I'm gonna like fill Harry in on like everything. Okay.

[72:06] Wow, another mystery. I can't believe it. We're so good at finding mysteries like this. It's like we're some kind of investigator. And I love your new friend here. He seems kind of dark and mysterious a little bit when he keeps brandishing that gun, but I don't mind one bit. I used to have a gun until Rusty took it away from me.

[72:19] Yeah, I wouldn't try to take away his gun. I can picture you like okay.

[72:27] So, what are we gonna do from here now? We're gonna use that key or anything?

[72:30] Yeah, that's it. But let's not say it so loud in front of everybody.

[72:34] Nothing but quiet from me, Rusty, sir.

[72:36] Hands in pockets like angry scribbling from like the shadows.

[72:40] Who's this young kid? Did he even check in for visiting hours? Um you guys uh work your way up and then uh you insert the key into the closet, and it makes a large ka-chunk, ka chunk, ka chunk, like three times, and then uh you open up the door, and now the whole back panel of that closet is now opened up and it leads back, and there's candles lit back there. I don't know why the [expletive]. They would leave candles still lit in a wood room, but that's how it always works in the movie, so that's how it's working in my imagination. And it was part of the locking mechanism.

[73:11] Yeah, it automatically lights the candles.

[73:13] Yeah, I love it. Okay.

[73:16] Wow, that's amazing. They can't even get fluorescent light bulbs in here, but they can have [expletive] like that. Can you believe that, Rusty?

[73:22] Yeah, it's kind of hard to believe.

[73:23] Right. It must be some kind of black magic again or something.

[73:26] Yeah, that is exactly it. I think we we're seeing the symbols, we're seeing the book or the box, we're seeing the robes. All right, it's like deja folk and vuo, Harry. But this time, we're not gonna be surprised. I'm not gonna lock you in a box. This time we're gonna get ahead of this.

[73:40] Okay, I'm ready. More than ready. Like, our well, you know how to spell ready, Rusty. I'm I'm I'm at a loss for words right now, but you know, I'm ready.

[73:49] Yeah, I got you. I got you, Harry.

[73:51] I'm ready with you too, Bruce. Like, I if you need me to do anything, I'll do it. I'm here for you. He will. You're like my second grandpa now.

[73:57] He'll just do it. Just gonna pull the gun out, just like hold it.

[74:02] Rusty, I don't think I should talk to Bruce anymore.

[74:04] No, actually, he does that to people relax.

[74:06] Oh, okay, excellent. I feel so included. Uh the room opens up and it's got the candles and stuff. There's also an altar up there, and it has a book that's opened up. Uh, and then also hanging on the hook is also like this kind of like dream catcher-looking talisman thing hanging up there.

[74:24] Hmm. Nah, I don't know [expletive]. Nothing? No, it's a fail. Okay.

[74:30] Harry, does this look like anything from the museum? Are we remember anything related to any of the exhibits? We saw a lot of things in our day.

[74:37] Right. If there's one thing I remember, it's squiggly lines, and these squiggly lines look a lot like the squiggly lines that Miss Summers used.

[74:44] Mm-hmm. Uh, Harry, with your young uh virtue or not virtue Whatever, with your hands, why don't you grab that dream catcher thing?

[74:53] Oh, very well.

[74:54] And then uh I'm gonna stand over here from a safe distance.

[74:57] Yeah, he takes the dream catcher off. Um Oh, it's kinda tingly, but I feel good about it. Maybe one of you guys should have it.

[75:05] I'll go grab it.

[75:06] Okay.

[75:09] I go grab it and try to inspect it closer because I couldn't see what it was before. Okay, perfect. And nosy Susie is outside.

[75:16] So I can transcribe anything. What's going on in there? Go ahead and yeah, give me another roll for it.

[75:22] Uh to pass.

[75:23] That's way better. Uh, you know that this is a uh talisman that you wear, and uh for the sake of gameplay, when you put it on, it bumps your magic points up by ten.

[75:34] Okay.

[75:36] And then uh you take another look at the book too with a roll like that, and then uh you can see that there is like English notes next to it, and inside the ones that have been translated, there's only about three spells that have been translated, and you now have those from the book. Okay, cool.

[75:52] So just like that, you're gonna wear a dream catcher and walk around with some magic giggity words. My kind of guy. My man.

[76:03] And then uh either one of you give me a spy. Six crushed it. Okay, you find uh like a small journal entry and stuff, and it basically lists like something's coming. Uh it's very like worse than nosy Susie's notes. Uh there's things that need to be locked away upstairs, and then there's like small hand-drawn notes of uh the different statues in the main lobby and things like that.

[76:35] Harriet, do you remember what they said about the third floor when we came here?

[76:38] They were not supposed to go up there because it's under construction. I think that's exactly where we need to go. I agree with you all the way. I will follow you to the ends of the earth, Rusty. You're like a grandpa to me.

[76:50] I don't even know why I came to this place. I should have lived in your [expletive] apartment.

[76:53] You should have, and then we wouldn't have had to deal with this, Shenanigans.

[76:56] You know, with my pension, you could have afforded probably a better apartment.

[76:58] I have a gambling problem.

[77:02] Learn something new every day.

[77:04] I owe a guy named Big John a lot of money. Most of it came from your pension, Rusty. God damn it, uh. Uh so you guys uh work up to uh the third story? Yeah. Okay, uh nosy Susie's following you from the shadows. Um there are some of those foldable iron gates up there blocking it off, but you have a whole ring of keys. Yeah. So Bruce unlocks it, no problem, and you guys uh work your way up in there. Hells yeah. And then uh it's dark, it's unfinished. There are even some patches of the ceiling that are still opened up. There are plants crawling into the thing. It's almost like nature's trying to retake it.

[77:04] Um but as you uh further uh go further down, uh you notice like nothing's really complete, but there is a large black saracophagus looking thing made of like onyx material, almost like the same material the key was made out of that you used. And it has sigils on it and it's wrapped in chains, and it's kind of just hanging there, like suspended up in the air, this thing. And yeah, give me a spot hidden on it, or if you want to do an occult on it, whatever you guys want to do looking at this thing.

[78:18] I'll do occult. Okay, I'll do spot hidden. Okay.

[78:24] Uh I'll use a point of luck. Okay.

[78:28] And I pass, just a regular pass. Okay. So uh you notice, Bruce, with your occult check, that the symbols written on this are meant for housing a creature of some kind. It doesn't tell you exactly what, but there is something sinister inside this onyx sarcophagus, and like these symbols are keeping it inside at bay. And then you notice, Rusty, that it looks like a bottom corner of it has been cracked open and there's a small hole that kind of leads inside. It's hard to see, but with your pass, you can definitely tell that it's been broken off. And it might have been the piece they even used to make that key out of.

[79:04] Yeah.

[79:05] Uh I communicate all that with my and I'm going to look to Harry, point the gun at him, point the gun at the sarcophagus, and say, Don't touch.

[79:15] All right, I promise I won't touch it with your gun.

[79:19] Well, but what if what if maybe we insert the key into the sarcophagus? Like the I don't know. I don't know. I wish Harry, I wish you had not. Your car hadn't broken down, so we could have driven away from this place.

[79:31] I know. What are the chances of that, right?

[79:34] Very, very inconvenient.

[79:36] Uh I should have put gas in it. Who would have thought these things need gas?

[79:39] God damn.

[79:41] Leaded gasoline, 1920s. Everything's got lead. What um what else is around this room? Anything else? No, there's really nothing else. Uh the anchor points from the it's actually connected directly to the stone, and I don't know how anybody could have got this thing suspended in there. It looks heavy as [expletive]. I don't want to [expletive] with this.

[80:02] Susie, come here.

[80:03] Yes. What followed you the whole way? What do you make of this? This is my first time ever seeing it.

[80:10] It's pretty spooky, huh? I've seen spooky. You don't know what kind of dreams I dream, man, not taking those pills with the fields of yellow. Actually, what kind of dreams?

[80:20] Tell me more.

[80:20] And what do you see in your dreams? In a battle. Specific battles. Which ones? Humans versus gods and fields of yellow and blood. You're [expletive] loony. Forget it. They had a spear of some kind, and they were stabbing the gods themselves. Just yellow icker just pouring from their mouths and eyes. Ears.

[80:48] Sorry, I'll go back to the shadows. Uh uh, Harry, I didn't chose to you, but someone left me a note. I don't know who looks maybe like feminine of sorts or something, and it mentioned something about assembling a staff.

[81:01] Uh-huh. What could that mean? Like a staff, like a group of people? Like a group of people that work here, like that kind of staff, you think?

[81:08] No, I don't think so. I think it's like I don't know. Maybe one of those, like, remember the uh the arcane weapon relic exhibit?

[81:15] Oh, yeah, I do remember that. They had a bunch of staffs in there. Yeah. And I was thinking, like, how are that how's that that stick? A bunch of people, you know?

[81:22] Yeah, I don't beat the hell out of me.

[81:25] Sure, you could beat someone with a staff.

[81:28] Okay, that was just an idea.

[81:30] Oh, okay. But I uh I looking over your note here, it says something about gods or something like that. And did you notice there's a lot of like weird statues around this building? I like I I went around like touching a lot of stuff before I left the other day, and they have a lot of different statues around here and things like that. That all resemble like different gods or like stories of gods and things like that, mythology kind of stuff.

[81:47] Maybe maybe we can recognize the two gods that we had from our dream, Bruce. I don't know what you just said.

[81:58] I think he's having a stroke.

[81:59] I think so too. I'm gonna take that as a yes, and we're gonna go check. Like, Bruce is both a highly competent and highly incompetent at the same time. Like, I don't know what I'm gonna get. He's either gonna like have the forethought to grab a whole set of keys or like [expletive] his pants and mumble things at me. Like, I just don't know. It's a mixed bag.

[82:25] Okay, so where are we going from here?

[82:26] Uh, take me to the statue. Did you see any that look like uh and I described the ones from our dreams?

[82:32] No, nothing like that, but I'll take you to the statue I was looking at. And uh Harry takes you downstairs, and there's uh two statues actually. There's a bust of Adonis, as it's labeled, on the little pillar there, and then next to him is a large statue of Venus. I want to do like a spot hidden and see if there's anything around. Yeah, go ahead and give me a spot hidden.

[82:52] That's sorry, let me re-roll ones. Uh I'm gonna use more luck and pass. Okay.

[83:00] Uh with that, you notice that there are some kind of tracks that lead, they're they're hidden within the marble itself. It's almost like some kind of scuff marks kind of tracks that look like the Venus statue pushing towards the Adonis statue. Uh both of you give me a just an education, yeah, a knowledge check. Or an idea check to make things easy. It's a no for me. No?

[83:25] I think that's a pass for me.

[83:26] Ooh, pass. Okay, perfect. You know the story of uh Adonis and Venus, and you know that uh she warned him that he was going to die on the next hunt, and he didn't listen. He's like, You're just a dumb brat. He went out and hunted anyway, and then he gets stabbed by a boar, and then she comes in to him immediately after he gets stabbed, and she's like, I told you so. Typical woman, you know.

[83:50] So I'm just this is kind of crazy, but let's push the statue as if she was whispering some kind of I told you so kind of [expletive] in the other statues they hear.

[83:58] And you both get on the the or I guess all three of us. I'm not even gonna have a role for that because three people will be able to push and Susie if she decides to get it. No, she's still in the shadows writing.

[84:09] She's like, I'm gonna make a graphic novel out of this.

[84:12] She's like an Agatha Christie of [expletive] this is good [expletive].

[84:16] Hope nothing bad happens to me at a point where everybody knows what's going on in the story, and I could die finally. So uh all three of you uh get and push on it, and it does. It slides towards the uh Donna statue, and um it actually reveals a stairway going downstairs into some kind of basement.

[84:36] I'm on, I'm on to something. Bruce, you go first.

[84:40] Okay, gun out, gun out, gun out, book out.

[84:43] Okay. Harry, you go in the middle.

[84:46] You got it. I got a lantern too. I brought it from the car. I've carried it five miles the whole time I was running here.

[84:51] It's impressive. Is it lit?

[84:53] No. Okay, and it's out of gas.

[84:56] Actually, our friend has a pension for fire.

[84:58] Oh, you have any way to light this?

[85:02] No.

[85:03] Very well. Okay. I'm gonna go ask an orderly real fast. I'll be right back. No, okay, you want to just try to wing it? We'll just wing it. Okay. So uh you guys uh traverse down the stairways there, and it does end up into a kind of uh basement area. And from the looks of it, it looks like there's several dead bodies of old people down here in there. There's a smell in there. It's actually not bad because it's nice and cool being in the basement. So it's it's so so. It looks like uh there's been some kind of experiments going on with these bodies. And then uh give me an occult roll and a spot hidden roll, since that's apparently you guys' jobs. Yeah. Uh I'll use two points of luck to pass.

[85:03] Both pass. Uh, you notice with the occult role that's a good one for me, too. Oh, okay. Uh, you notice with the occult roll that uh these bodies have etchings carved into their skin of all the different sigils and everything like that. And then uh was it a regular pass? Uh, just a regular pass. Okay. Uh there's numerous symbols of the gods and things like that onto these bodies, but that's pretty much all you're getting from it. And with your super extreme spot hidden, uh, you notice that one of the bodies looks really fresh. So maybe nosy Susie was onto something and a body is missing from about a week ago. And as you get closer to inspect, you can kind of see something moving underneath the sheet. Bruce.

[86:28] I like nod my head over at him. Shoot it.

[86:32] You shoot it? Yeah, okay, go for it. That's a fail. It's wide. You shoot it. Wait, how bad was the fail?

[86:42] Um do you have a misfire? This is a 98, and this my thing is a 70.

[86:48] Uh, what's the uh the misfire on it? It should be on the far right of the gun down at the bottom.

[86:54] I didn't put the gun in.

[86:55] Okay. Uh most of them are nine. What kind of gun is it?

[86:58] Uh I think it's just a handgun.

[86:59] Okay. So I'm gonna say it's a misfire then. So you go to shoot it and the casing doesn't even do anything. It's just like a little smoke comes out the barrel on the side. Wow, that was very anticlimactic.

[87:11] Yeah, I don't even think. Is that from that looks like it's from the war?

[87:14] How old's that ammo in there? Ammo? I'm gonna go over there and investigate it. Hey, you body, are you moving under there?

[87:26] Just pull the cover off.

[87:27] Okay, you got it. Wait, I saw a magic trick like this one time at my birthday party, and they pulled the sheet and then all the stuff stayed on top. Do you have anything I can put on top of this guy and try to do the magic trick sheet trick?

[87:37] Throw my gun on top of the sheet.

[87:39] Here we go.

[87:42] Does it like go like go off?

[87:43] It's a 45. I'm gonna say like uh the sheet comes out and the gun just plops right onto this dead guy's body.

[87:49] Uh after that, uh give me a listen check, both of you. Mine's a pass. Pass. You start uh hearing whispers. And then uh just just you failed, right? Yeah. Okay. Just you, Bruce, start hearing whispers. They killed me.

[88:08] They killed me. They killed me. They killed me.

[88:12] Seriously, dude, they kill me. Alright, you hear that? Bruce. Anyone?

[88:17] I didn't hear nothing except that suspicious breeze rolling in here. Very suspicious breeze. Cool island breeze, considering we're in the woods. It's very weird. It's almost like nature. It's almost like nature's trying to crawl back and take over this place, you know?

[88:33] Um we see what I want to spot hidden out of the sheets off of like what could have been crawling under the sheet? Yeah, go for it. I'll use five more points of like.

[88:46] Okay. Um, so as you inspect, there's no markings or lesions anywhere on this guy, but as you get closer to look with that pass, you can see something underneath his skin fold and unfold and then kind of like tuck itself back into the cavity of his body.

[89:05] Oh, oh god. Uh I think we need to get the hell out of here.

[89:09] You want to leave?

[89:10] Uh yeah, quickly. Is there anything down here of value aside from these dead bodies?

[89:14] Absolutely not, I don't think.

[89:15] Okay. Let's get out of here.

[89:17] Very well. Uh, you guys bum bum bum bump, leave. And back upstairs. Nosy Susie's up there taking notes. The orderlies are like probably on drugs or something. They don't give a [expletive]. This is what the [expletive]'s going on.

[89:31] They don't think any of us are threats. Like, we're all [expletive] he's insane and Susan's insane. Yeah. I most usually not doing puzzles. And Harry, they don't even know he's here. Right. Just like I think he's like a min child. Yeah.

[89:43] Okay. Um, let's see. Um, as I was mulling around, I did notice something in some of the other rooms. I can't remember what.

[89:55] How long did you go around this place before coming home?

[89:58] I got lost, Rusty, and I was stuck in here for at least, let me think, six hours. I was late for work.

[90:04] Statistically speaking, you should anyway. Um, yeah, let's go check some of those rooms. We gotta what time is it? Is it getting like dark or later?

[90:12] No, I'm gonna say it's like uh noonish and it might be starting to get dark here a little bit.

[90:16] Maybe we should just hitchhack out of here.

[90:18] You wanna just leave?

[90:19] Maybe, maybe that's the safest thing.

[90:22] Okay, we can do that. What do you think, Bruce? I forgot my gun downstairs. You want me to run back down there and get it? He runs back down there, and then uh out of the corner of your eye you see nosy Susie like scribbling and looking at you guys. Yeah.

[90:42] Susie, what do you think of all this? I think this [expletive]'s [expletive] crazy, man. But you guys keep doing it. Oh, okay. You guys uh keep doing what you're doing, though. This is this is great stuff. I can't wait till the new people get here. I might have a [expletive] ton of stuff to tell them. All right, thanks, Susie.

[91:01] Go back to lurking in the shadows. All right, you got it. Yeah.

[91:05] Creeping back in there. All right, uh, is Harry back? Uh yeah, Harry's back. He's got your gun. Um I got a strong suspicion we should check out the library, guys. Yes. You look you look really tired, Rusty. But you're not feeling too good.

[91:21] We should probably hurry this thing along.

[91:24] It was a long night, didn't sleep very well.

[91:28] You've heard others, but nothing could prepare you for the shameful stupidity that is the Jockey Nerd Podcast here in run.

[91:38] So if you offend everyone at once, it's all it's a watch. I've covered everybody.

[91:42] Anthony. Sorry, I was texting. Say that again. And rug boy. Yeah, whenever there's a snowstorm, my slack all tightens up. As they talk over one another. Just exactly the same. We're talking over each other. It's swear. The Jockey Nerd Podcast. Can't be silly, goofy, fun.

[92:04] Uh nerd! Uh, where do you guys want to go next? You know, I've been all over this place. Just what whatever place you always want to go.

[92:12] Uh well, uh you had a good point. I think the library, uh, you know, I like everything we've been looking at has to do with gods, it has to do with the occult. Like maybe this this retirement home library might have some information.

[92:25] It's not the biggest library I've ever seen, but then again, I worked in a museum for a little bit. Well, you know that, Rusty, because we worked at the same place and I took your job and everything. Yep, but I know. But okay, follow me in the library then. And you guys go to the library. Uh, inside the library, it's only like uh four bookshelves surrounding the whole wraparound of the entire place. And then uh in the center, there is a large cutout kind of underneath the fireplace, and it is a uh large oil painting of Prometheus.

[92:52] Prometheus. He's the one with a boulder, right? No, no, the sun? No, you brought fire to man and gets his liver pecked out. Oh, no. You like fire.

[93:03] Hmm. Okay. Well, what do you think we should do? I think we should burn it.

[93:10] I'm with that plan. I'm down for burning anything.

[93:13] [expletive] this place.

[93:15] So you guys uh walk up to it. I'm not gonna even have you roll or anything because there's a fire going right underneath it. I'm gonna say you just find something. Grab one of the pokers and just flick some of it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then uh the oil painting itself actually ignites in a weird pattern where the bottom just starts to burn up and then it stops, revealing a uh secret compartment inside there, and there is a jewel uh inside there. Like a um what did I call this one? I think it's a ruby, like a fire, fire red ruby.

[93:45] Highly inefficient to have to burn your way into a secret compartment. But grab this thing and uh yeah.

[93:52] It's almost like some kind of complex design for treasures, you know? Like I love treasures.

[93:57] Yeah, but why is there treasure in this retirement?

[94:00] Beats the [expletive] out of me.

[94:04] Okay, so after uh what do you guys think next? Maybe the dining room or the kitchen? Mostly because I'm hungry. I'm gonna be honest. I'm starving. We did skip breakfast.

[94:14] Uh we can totally go check out the dining hall. There, there was uh, I believe more gods in there in my six-hour excursion. And the only reason you didn't see me, Rusty, is because I was hiding from you because I was too embarrassed to let you know that I was lost and couldn't find my way out. I knew you were there. Kind of proud. I'm proud of you, kid. Oh, thanks, man. Uh uh, you guys work your way to the dining hall. Uh, it is a double-stack table, nice chairs going along. There are some paintings along, but uh another painting sticks out more than anything. It actually has uh two, oh [expletive]. Sorry. Talk with my hands. It's got two uh wooden staffs crisscrossed, but they're like kind of short.

[94:14] And then uh above that is a picture of Aries. I know that one.

[94:58] Do you? God whoa.

[95:02] Well, do you think that's something we need to take for whatever we're doing?

[95:05] Yeah, well, they said crazy. Susan said spears, and we saw staffs. Like, maybe these are the is there like any kind of spot hidden to see if there's like a gem thing you can like insert or anything like that.

[95:14] Yeah, you can uh give me a spot hidden on the on the stabs. Okay, or I guess uh what would you call them when they're shorter? Ooh, I think that's like a amazing. Ooh, okay. Uh yeah, you notice that the the stabs by looking at them uh looks like they do connect to each other, and it looks like there's about three slots for jewels on this staff.

[95:34] You're picking up what I'm putting down, Bruce. Time for food. I'm hungry, I won't deny that. But we can also put these staffs together and insert the jewels. This might be the thing that well, I don't know what it does, honestly, but I think it's really important. This is everything's leading to this. Not the food car if we just get food. Yeah, I think Bruce is already getting in line.

[95:58] Like a buffet lined up. You're like, yeah, sure, man.

[96:02] Just in the background, just hairy and uh rusty just reaching up onto the wall to pull these things off. Mmm, scallop potatoes today, huh? My face.

[96:15] We're gonna down my notes. They actually reused the mashed potatoes and freeze-dry them to make the scallop potatoes. It's why they come out this way.

[96:23] More rumors in the rumor mill.

[96:27] Oh, yeah. So uh Rusty and Harry get the stabs down, uh connecting up together. And then uh upon further inspection of the three slots inside this staff, they are etched with different things. There is a uh symbol for water, there is a symbol for fire, and then there is a bow symbol at the very bottom. Oh all three jewels.

[96:51] Well, let's put the red in the fire.

[96:53] If I haven't learned anything about color schemes, uh as you place the jewel into it, uh you notice that a red crackling energy starts to circle. Are you in line for food? Yeah, okay. So you're not seeing this. Okay. So you notice a red energy kind of crackling through the wood of the staff, and I'm gonna need you to make a sanity roll just to go. Oh, yeah. Okay.

[97:11] Because the [expletive]'s crazy. [expletive]'s crazy. It was a 77. Uh no.

[97:20] Fail? Fail. Okay. So you're gonna lose a whopping one point of sanity. That's nice. Wow, did you see that thing? It was like a firework in my hand.

[97:30] Yeah, it might be a little dangerous. Maybe we should wait till we get all the jewels.

[97:33] Okay. What happened to Bruce?

[97:35] Okay, what happened to Bruce? I figure I'm gonna come back with just like a big bowl of taffioca pudding. We ready? Well, that's all you get. You're gonna get more than that, Bruce. Yeah, it's not good for you. Don't tell me how to live my life. Uh, you don't have to my life.

[97:48] Calcium deficient or anything, especially your AIDS. If you take a bad fall and you break your hip, I don't know if it'll ever pick itself back together, you know what I mean?

[97:54] Yeah, kick him in the shin.

[97:56] Ow!

[97:57] I think how he shows his affectionary.

[98:00] Let's move on.

[98:01] I do it with hurtful words. He just literally hurts me.

[98:04] Super rude. I'd rather take the hurtful words because I can only understand so many things, you know, anyways.

[98:08] Yeah.

[98:09] My [expletive] hurts.

[98:12] Alright, what's next? Uh, what else is on this floor?

[98:15] Well, the the staff on here says like uh there's a little symbol of water, so I don't know if it'd be too much of a stretch to assume that we need to go to like the bathroom area, maybe.

[98:24] Who the [expletive] would keep a jewel, a rare treasure jewel in the bathroom?

[98:27] I have to pay. Okay. I guess to the bathroom then. All right. Uh, as you guys go into the bathroom area, uh, it's pretty nice in here. There's uh several shower stations, big nice metal bathtubs and stuff with the heated water that comes in and everything. Um, but on the one side of the wall, there's a huge um what do you what do we call it? It's a relief. So uh so a large like mural type thing, but it's like 3D almost. So, and it's of uh Poseidon [expletive] like storm in the ocean to go with the whole bathroom thing. I don't know what to do here.

[99:02] I'm gonna unzip my pants and take a piss on the wall.

[99:06] Uh nothing happens. An orderly some out just right now comes in. Sir, do you need assistance?

[99:13] I'd also like to imagine I'm just holding a staff, taking one hand in my [expletive], and like, no, I'm good here.

[99:18] Well, you look like a man with a plan, so I'll leave you back to it. I'll get somebody in here to clean that up right away. You have a good day, sir.

[99:26] Yeah.

[99:27] Uh nothing happens. Oh, you got any ideas for me, spot hidden checks. Sorry. You're fine.

[99:39] Uh as a pass for me.

[99:40] Okay. Uh as you're uh you failed? Yeah, exactly. Okay, as you're pissing all over the Poseidon uh [expletive] relief here, you notice some splash because going into some seashells, and you're like, look down around where your piss is splashing up and there's a little shiny blue jewel inside one of these like cup seashell things tucked away in the wall here.

[100:00] I was overthinking it as I thought. I was like a wall. We had to light something on fire, but here they just have a jewel in the urn. I can't believe this is ridiculous. Here we go.

[100:10] Yeah, the craziest thing, it's like we're trying to wrap this up or something, you know.

[100:14] It's like it was an intricate puzzle at some point, but now it's just giving up on it.

[100:18] Alright, go ahead and reach in there and grab.

[100:19] You just peed all over it, Rusty.

[100:22] You know that I care about you.

[100:24] Who am I kidding? I'll touch your pee any day of the week. Here we go. And he reaches in and grabs the blue jewel out of the one of the seashell recesses. Yeah, you're gonna wanna wash it right after that. Do I have to?

[100:34] Yeah, I'm very dehydrated.

[100:36] Okay, it's pretty dark. I was gonna say maybe I should talk to the nurse, you know, maybe get some more foods.

[100:41] No, do not talk to her.

[100:42] Okay, I won't I won't talk to her then.

[100:44] She's everywhere. All right, just like Susie. Susie, are you in here? Like a stall opens up. Yeah. You guys are doing great.

[100:51] I'm gonna keep writing this down for the book. I appreciate it. Alright. Keep up the good work. Next place I would check would probably be the hedge maze. I'll bet. Yeah.

[101:01] This is I'm most concerned about the hedge maze because I don't know if you've noticed, but well, you know.

[101:08] Um, it's still not quite dark yet, but you guys are uh making good time. Uh you head out to the hedge maze. Uh give me a navigate. Yeah, 20. Yeah, I failed. You both failed with 20 somethings?

[101:25] I have a 63.

[101:26] Sorry, I did these. Oh, okay. Yeah, I failed. I I have a 10 for navigate.

[101:32] Well, okay. I'm gonna say that's pass. Uh I was stuck in that maze. After the six hours I was stuck in the building, I was stuck in that maze for an additional four hours. So I think I got it figured out pretty good, Rusty sir. And Bruce, sir. I want to imagine we still get lost. Yeah, so uh it's really starting to get dark now. Uh almost on the verge where they're gonna lock up. You've probably spent about an hour and a half, two hours inside this maze. Rusty, I thought you said you gotta figure it out. I thought I did. I left a bunch of breadcrumbs here when I was here the other day, and a bird must have came and got it.

[102:05] Why did you have breadcrumbs?

[102:07] I stole a bunch of bread out of the buffet line because somebody stole all the tapioca pudding.

[102:12] Okay.

[102:12] I don't know what kind of monster would take all the tapioca pudding. Yeah, we digress. Wait, here it is. And you end up in the center of the maze finally, and there is a uh large statue of Artemis there uh with her bow drawn, and she's like kind of barely covered, like she was in the middle of taking a bath. And also, I don't know what to do here. There is a statue of a deer staring at her. Her bow drawn at the deer.

[102:43] I'm gonna try shooting the deer with my gun.

[102:46] Uh roll to shoot it. That's a pass. Alright, you shoot the deer, it falls down.

[102:54] Um excellent work.

[102:56] Realistically, with the mythology story, is that somebody caught Artemis bathing, she turned them into a deer and then hunted them down. So, my idea for this puzzle was that you just rip off a piece of cloth and cover the deer's eyes. But either way, you shot the deer.

[103:13] I am sorry. I was overthinking this [expletive] story, and I'm sorry.

[103:17] Um so you shoot the deer, the deer falls over dead, job done and done. All of a sudden, the statue of Artemis starts easing up tension on her bow and like turning back to like she's gonna take a bath, all of it, like moving and frictionless. Uh, it's obviously some kind of spell or something that the statue is under, and then another compartment on the base of the statue slides down, and there's a green jewel inside there.

[103:41] We've done it. I think we have all the jewels. Now, how the [expletive] do we do? What do we do with this [expletive]? Last time I put a jewel in there, it did not go so high.

[103:49] Well, maybe um maybe we should try putting it back together.

[103:53] Yeah, I think putting it back together would be great. Susan, is that you? Yeah, you guys don't really know the way through this maze.

[103:58] I could have taken you there in like five seconds.

[104:01] But you want you you you want me to stay in this chat. I want no Susan like I recamp.

[104:10] If you need any help, I'll be here.

[104:12] I'll go help with the jewels back in.

[104:13] Okay. So uh you guys pop in the jewels, uh, energy crack, crack, crack, crack, crack. And then uh actually a large Onyx uh blade shings out, and uh the staff turns into a spear now.

[104:26] Wow.

[104:27] I know that's the craziest thing. Like a big black thing just swinging at my face like that.

[104:33] That's a lot of information.

[104:35] Well, it happened. You saw it, Rusty. You saw Bruce, the big black thing just swung right by my mouth.

[104:39] Alright, alright. Well, let's cut our way out at this mace. Alright, yeah, yeah. Uh, Susan, could you uh uh please escort us out of here? Yeah, follow me. It's like a straight line.

[104:54] And then uh as you escape, be like, hold on, I think they might have locked the door. There's a secret tap you gotta get in, and they'll let you in for the emergency tap. I paid off some of the guards because it turns out I'm very well off. You are more fascinating about a minute. I know I should be a real character instead. I'm just in the shadows. But I'm writing this book and everybody will love me someday.

[105:17] Yeah. She runs up to the door and uh and knocks, and the door kind of just pushes open. Oh, it doesn't seem like they locked it.

[105:24] Oh [expletive].

[105:24] And she walks inside, and then all of a sudden you guys hear, Dah Rusty, what's wrong?

[105:32] Susie, you gotta have a stroke.

[105:34] I think something bad happened to her. No.

[105:38] She she knows everything.

[105:39] Wait, what have we been normally doing? Um, I need an answer to this problem. Nope, she's gone. She must be dead or something.

[105:49] You bring up a vow point. Alright, let's go. Quickly. Let's go.

[105:52] You walk inside and uh there's a large blood trail leading off, and then uh you hear noises coming from you're assuming the the third story, like the thing upstairs finally broke out or whatever, blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah. This is just like that other time. It's almost exactly like it. It's almost like the person creating these stories only has the same seven ideas that they use over and over and over again.

[106:16] Yeah, well, all right. I don't have a magical scroll with writing this time that's gonna enhance you into a demon warrior, but we do got this cool S spear.

[106:25] It does look. Can I hold it? No. Okay. I have a well, let me look around. Oh, okay.

[106:32] I I found the shoe on the floor. It's a nosy Susan's shoe fell off.

[106:36] I'll just whack someone in the face with this.

[106:38] Yeah, that's more your speed. Hey, Bruce, I actually want you to have this because you're you've proven to be a deadly adversary. I don't have enough hands for this.

[106:48] He's got the book and his gun.

[106:49] Oh, okay. Well, it's all on me then. Let's do this, [expletive].

[106:53] Okay, so uh you hear the noises coming up, blah, blah, blah, blah, the monster thing. Um, what I originally planned was that it is a so kind of flapping its wings up along the ceiling there. You can see uh nosy Susan, uh, she's dead. She's cut in half. He's got a piece in this side, a piece in this side of his bottom talon claw things, and completely smooth face on this demon thing, flapping its ways. No eye sockets or your mouth or anything, just flat. But it still makes a jawline, large horns coming out and stuff, and it's just flapping and looking at you.

[107:33] How high up is it?

[107:34] I'm gonna say uh about the the ceiling height, so maybe like we'll say it's a big building, so like 10-15 feet up.

[107:40] Okay. I don't think I can throw the spear at that boost. Uh I'll cast cloak of flame or cloak of fire.

[107:48] You don't know magic. You crazy son of a [expletive]. Go for it.

[107:52] Uh, do I just roll this for sanity points? Uh just magic points and sanity points.

[107:56] Yep, so deduct your magic points, and then uh yep. Four points of sanity you're gonna deduct. And then also you roll a sanity check too. What's going on? What are you doing, Bruce? Um, you're fine. But uh you see that Bruce, uh what's the description say for the cloak of fire there? First time using magic in Calicathelium. Wow.

[108:23] Uh reads the caster and weaving glittering points of light, each spark dragging a luminous trail and flickering white hot, sealed within the cloak, the caster raises several inches off the ground.

[108:36] So you're floating in the air right now with a fiery cloak behind you. It all makes sense. It all makes sense. Perfect. Um Rusty, remember why it turned into a demon thing? Like, this thing's kind of cool too. Like, did you know he could do that?

[108:52] No, but there were a lot of clues. He was really into fire.

[108:56] Oh, I could see that. Huh. You think he can like battle the demon thing on his own and we can just leave?

[109:03] Yeah, I'm not gonna do [expletive], so let's hope so.

[109:05] Uh as you get uh as you're still standing there, the thing kind of flapping and like can tell you're there. He gets closer. Now you can really see him in the light. So both of you give me another uh sanity check. Just a sanity check and see what happens. Pass or fail. I passed. Passed. Failed. Failed. Uh you're gonna take a d4. You're gonna lose one more whopping point of sanity. Wow. You're doing all right. You've been through the [expletive]. Ah, no, the museum. Du bois. Good thing I'm like part scary monster, I think. Otherwise, I'd be scared of that thing too.

[109:35] Yeah, you're literally not phased.

[109:36] I just don't know how it works or anything, you know. Like I have bad dreams all the time, you know. But I think we should like just battle this guy and get it over with.

[109:43] All right, listen. You're gonna get on my shoulders, you're gonna hold the spear, and then he's gonna fire up. Phoenix man is gonna fight, and we're gonna take care of this [expletive].

[109:50] Sounds good to me. I I got the shoe.

[109:53] No, use the spear.

[109:54] Oh, the spear? I thought I wasn't allowed to touch the spear.

[109:56] No, you're gonna get on my shoulders, and now you're gonna have extra reach. You want me to get out of your shoulders rosy or Harry?

[110:02] I think so because I think my legs are a little bit stronger.

[110:05] Oh, you'd be [expletive]. Alright.

[110:07] I'm actually gonna roll for his strength here. Oh I got an 11. He can hold you [expletive] perfectly fine. It's like he's been waiting his whole life to hold you like this.

[110:15] Just wrapped around his neck.

[110:16] This represents our relationship and how much we hold each other up. Your thighs are so much more comfortable than I thought they would be, Rusty.

[110:24] Just don't talk about big black things.

[110:26] Alright, you got it, man. Wow, this is so comfortable. Let's kill this monster. Um, so let's start the fighting thing. We'll fight this monster. So you got your cloak going on. Does it do anything else cool?

[110:39] Uh it's off there.

[110:42] Purely aesthetics.

[110:43] It's aesthetics. Doubles my movement. Again, it's bonus die to decks. Uh anything attack me with an unarmed thing takes a d6 of damage. Ooh, okay. And I also take damage when something attacks me half the amount of damage that they take.

[110:59] Okay, okay. Uh what is uh your guys' decks?

[111:04] Uh 40. 40? Mine is 45.

[111:08] Okay, I'm gonna say because that's the one stat that I didn't write down on this [expletive]. He's gonna have a 30. So you guys go first because humans always go first in my stories. And the way it's gonna work is that you just get to go. If you want to do um uh a damage roll, like with a spear or a gun, you roll the dice, and then I get to roll chance to dodge. And then we go from there.

[111:32] You wanna go first? Sorry, Phoenix? Yeah, I'll go first. Uh so from inside the thing, I'm gonna shoot out.

[111:38] See if I can hit it. Uh 10. Oh, that was an extreme pass? Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. 60 points below my thing. Oh yeah, so you did it. So uh what's your damage on that? I don't know.

[111:51] Uh again, I didn't write down. Oh, for your gun? Yeah. So let's just say it's uh a 1d6 and then okay. Uh 1d6, but because you got an extreme pass on it, you get to do uh piercing damage, so it's gonna be uh there's no damage. Is there damage bonus?

[112:09] No.

[112:09] No? Or is there a plus or anything? Just one d6? Just one d6. Okay, so it's gonna be uh 1d6 plus 6. Okay. So 10 total points of damage. Holy [expletive]. Okay, things don't have a lot of hit points here at Call of Catholic. Okay, with that, the the shot goes off, and then you hear like he's making some kind of noise, but he doesn't have a mouth, you don't know where this [expletive] noise is coming from.

[112:36] Holy [expletive], is there you?

[112:40] I'm cut in half. Somebody tell my life story. Oh my god, I've been experimenting on the people. Somehow I'm still alive after being cut in half. Is that what my ass looks like?

[112:54] I'm gonna put you out of your misery.

[112:56] Please put me out. Stab her with the spear. Oh, yeah, perfect. I'm gonna just say you did that.

[113:03] Is that all you got? I'm still alive, yeah. Let me write this down.

[113:12] And then uh the monster, uh, you actually get to a I'm gonna say you get a real attack this time, and you can attack the monster if you want.

[113:20] Uh what is my spear damage? Because I didn't include that on my sheet. I have unarmed, I have a canesor.

[113:26] So it would just be your your fighting. So what's your fighting brawl?

[113:31] 25.

[113:32] 25? That's a library, isn't it? Oh no, library is great. So five balls, twenty-five. So 25 would be. Let's fail. Oh, it's fail. Okay. Well, I don't even have to dodge because you failed. Try two, anyways. Yeah. Oh, I failed too, so it don't [expletive] matter, whatever. Alright, monster's turn. He's gonna try to swipe at you because you are not a fiery wizard. It's fair. Uh 55. What's my uh uh nope, that's a fail. He swings and misses. He's uh a complete waste of time. Uh that brings us back up to Chris Bruce. Chris Bruce. Bruce Chris.

[114:07] Shoot him again. Uh 37, so that's a pass. Regular pass? Uh I think so.

[114:12] What is like uh it has it broken down on the thing, so um it should say, what's your firearm score? And the two little numbers next to it.

[114:21] 70. Uh 20%. That was the only other. Oh, 35-14.

[114:27] And you got 37?

[114:29] Yeah. Okay. So regular pass.

[114:30] Okay. So yeah, you just get to do the 1d6 on him then. Four. Holy [expletive], okay. That's it. Not a lot of health on this guy. And he's down. And then uh Susan's body parts plop on the floor, and the monster.

[114:52] I'm gonna like think back to my memory in the Great War. Remember, there was like like we were like winning the battle, my like unit was like taking like over this village, and then some like fire monster like [expletive] came out, and I'm just like, huh.

[115:07] It's all coming back to me.

[115:10] But that's it, I won't even say anything to anybody. It just like I uh I have maybe suspicions. Okay, uh, both of you give me a listen check. No.

[115:22] Uh super cow.

[115:29] Pass. Pass. You hear uh Rusty doesn't hear [expletive], uh Harry doesn't hear [expletive] because he's too busy humming again, because he does that when he gets nervous. But Bruce hears what sounds like a lot, a lot of like wings flapping coming from all the rooms on the bottom floor. Oh [expletive]. And then as you look over, you can kind of see dark masses. So where this one creature was, there is now hundreds of them pouring in from out of these rooms and basically trying to brum bum rush towards you in the center hallway here. Um how far are we away from like the sort of coffee guessing room? Uh that'll be on the third story, so you just gotta run up the stairs.

[116:08] I want to run up the stairs and just try to get out of here.

[116:11] Okay, so give me a track just to see how it goes. Uh I'm gonna say you're uh this and the oh no, wait, that's uh that's up to Rusty because he's actually still carrying you right now with the spear thing, right? You're still on shoulders? Your hair, yeah.

[116:30] Okay.

[116:31] Oh, we got a 17. Perfect. He is so strong and loves you so much.

[116:35] Yeah, he is running with you on his shoulders up the stairs. I'm like, I'm like using the spear to like whip his ass. Like, uh go where.

[116:41] And then I'm gonna say because you have your cloak of fire on right now, you're [expletive] super fast anyway, so you probably just you don't even his feet don't even touch the stairs, he just zips up. That's a human torch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just zipping right up the stairs.

[116:53] With my thing that makes my move rate eight.

[116:57] Yeah, that's [expletive] flying fast.

[116:59] Right?

[117:00] Because what's your move rate is six?

[117:01] Yeah, you're way ahead of everybody. Um you guys uh get up to the sarcophagus room, and it seems like the the flying stopped. It seems like they're kind of just hovering down in that first floor for some reason. Like they're almost too scared to venture further up. Um the chains seem to have broken on this box, and uh smoke, like black, dark smoke, is starting to pour out of it. Um just to zip through it, I guess. You see uh a hand starting to crawl and wrap around the lid of the sarcophagus and it pops and breaks the chains. Oh my god, Rusty, can you see this thing? It's another monster of some kind, it's crazy. Who would just keep this in an old folks' home? It's terrifying.

[117:50] I don't know, but we need to finish what we started back in the museum.

[117:56] By killing Miss Summers? I thought we killed her already.

[118:00] Never mind, never mind. All right.

[118:01] Does she have a daughter of some kind? Maybe that's a twist ending.

[118:04] Put me down.

[118:04] Okay, here you go.

[118:06] I'm gonna uh slowly approach the uh sarcophagus and like a spot hidden to see if there's like any holes I could.

[118:13] Uh as he popped open the lid, the chains are still binding him a little bit, but you see like there is enough room if you wanted to, you could just shove that. Yeah, I just want to ram that. Okay, give me a roll on it. Just give me a strength roll, [expletive] it. Yeah, it's good. Superpass. Superpass? Oh yeah, easily you take the spear and shove it in there, and then uh white light starts to just pour from around the edges of the sarcophagus. Yeah. Uh I think we should get out of here.

[118:41] No, I ain't done with the [expletive]. I just a couple more jabs. Okay.

[118:45] The box is really like rumbling now.

[118:49] Does the sphere like snap or anything?

[118:51] Uh it's like lodged in there now. Like you shoved it into something that was like hard and now it's stuck in there. And plus, it's whipping so hard. You uh give me another strength roll to see if you can pull it back out. [expletive] it. And you get to keep it forever. No. No.

[119:04] No.

[119:04] Okay, it breaks free of your old man grip, and now it's just shaking wildly. Uh, the chains are starting to snap off now, and this white light is glowing and glowing and glowing, glowing and brighter, brighter. It almost looks like the whole sarcophagus now is glowing red hot, like it's ready to explode. Yeah, I think you're right, Harry. You get the [expletive] out of here. All right, Bruce. I don't want to touch you because you're made of fire right now, but let's get out of here. I was gonna hold your hand or something nice or something because you're like a grandpa to me, too, you know? And like, what am I doing? Talking, let's go. And then uh all the monsters seem to have uh vacated the premises.

[119:04] And then uh you make flying off of the distance. Yeah, like they're out of the building now. Like, actually, yeah, [expletive] it. That's the story. They're [expletive] you see them flying off and back into the woods and [expletive]. And uh you walk outside and then uh the explosion happens, boom, big explosion, [expletive] flash of light from the unfinished ceiling of the the place and everything. And um, yeah.

[120:02] That happened. Well, Harry, there goes my retirement plan.

[120:09] I think you can still stay here. I mean, what are the chances that there's another monster in this place? We already killed the one, you know.

[120:14] Yeah, I think I'm good. I think we need to accept our destiny of Harry and the Harry and Rusty.

[120:21] Well, I think we should bring Bruce with us. He's still got his gun and escape made of fire.

[120:29] Bruce can get it like an adjoining apartment or something.

[120:32] Oh, that sounds nice. What do you think, Bruce?

[120:35] I want dinner.

[120:37] Let's go get dinner.

[120:39] Is it like the kitchen stove fine? Like, if I can go in there, yeah.

[120:42] If I can go in there, if I can eat, who gives a [expletive]? Um, yeah, that's pretty much all I got. That's pretty much the the rushed version of Kalakathulu. Uh, what'd you guys think? Any questions, comments, concerns?

[120:56] So was that like Hasner coming out of the box, or what was maybe coming out of the box?

[121:00] Uh no, that was uh so the idea uh I was thinking of going into this was that it was gonna be one of the protectors because the spear can't really kill Hasner.

[121:07] Okay.

[121:08] Uh, but definitely can kill the protector. And I have Is that the other guy we saw? Like there was a yellow and the black. Okay. Yep. And um, I have actually the stats for that. So if once he came out of the sarcophagus, he was gonna grow in size and basically if you didn't stab him right away, is gonna grow and break through the ceiling, and he was gonna be about as tall as the building itself. And then so with his stats here, he was gonna have a strength of 225, which the highest a human could possibly be is only 99. Uh his size was gonna be 285, which also the tallest man in the world would only be a 99.

[121:08] Uh, intelligence and all that don't matter, but uh in one hit, he would have been able to do 46 plus 5d6. And how many hit points do you both you guys have? 16. 16. So that would have been an insta-kill right there, big scary monster. But you stopped it before he could get to that point.

[122:00] Thank you, Susan. Rest in peace. Tell my story. What uh so there was like some kind of fight between the gods, uh humans, right? The humans and the gods.

[122:10] Yep. And then uh they found uh from the backstory, they found the humans found a way uh to kind of fend for themselves against these gods, but not the gods themselves, but more like their monsters. And then with that, uh the big boss said, we should just go back to sleep and wait. The humans will forget about this magic eventually because humans always forget, and then we'll wake back up at that point. But Hasser's not cool with that. He still wants to wreak havoc.

[122:10] So the idea with the box is that he created this thing that still has a portion of himself in it, along with several of the monsters they see he's made, the like the people we're killing at this point in time, uh, to basically like just run through the box and wreak havoc because the only thing he wants in life is to wreak havoc. That's his job, is chaos. And uh if certain stipulations are met, it will wake him up sooner. And then that's not really his fault, right? That somebody else woke him up, and that's uh his mentality behind the story.

[123:05] And that's why the box keeps reappearing. We're trying, he's trying to trigger conditions to be woken up. Yes, exactly. Got it, got it. Very exciting. So that is our fourth edition of or fifth, fifth edition of Roy for One.

[123:18] Yeah, it's getting pretty getting pretty elaborate, right? It's like digging deep. I can't wait till I have a climatic ending, you know?

[123:25] Yeah, and maybe four more hours to play the game, right? I thought it was great. I don't I we didn't even need to rush. I think it was uh it was a blast I enjoyed playing. It was fun having Chris. My favorite line is Hassafer.

[123:40] I can't remember Hasser's name, so that's why I came up with you know the guy with the yellow.

[123:48] Uh you know. Uh thank you guys so much. So if you enjoyed the show, go ahead and you know share an episode on Facebook, or you can go ahead and share directly from Spotify into various you know social media platforms, whatever you'd like. Uh become uh patron if you want to support us. We just bought a uh new uh camera just uh with like just more space, honestly, so we can just start recording full episodes and not having things get cut off or anything.

[124:14] Or the autofocus thing messes up with the floor.

[124:17] Yeah, so uh we just keep yeah, the patrons keep supporting us and the content just keeps getting better. Nate didn't buy this robe, but you can see like the more you guys put in, the more we put in as well. So uh thanks for listening and we'll see you next week. Bye.

[124:30] Bye.

[124:31] Oh god.

[124:32] Was it two hours long?

[124:34] Yeah, two hours and six.