Whatcha Watchin | The Wretched, The Soul Collector and The Tree House
Edited audio transcript

Edited from an automatic transcription of the original recording. Strong language is masked; selected personal asides and adult material are marked [Editorial omission.]. Transcription errors may remain, especially in names and lyrics. Timestamps come from the source; paragraphs split for readability can share a timestamp. The original recording contains adult language and themes. Announcements and offers reflect the recording date.
Source: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2187585/episodes/9468672-whatcha-watchin-the-wretched-the-soul-collector-and-the-tree-house.mp3

[0:00] You're about to listen to the first experimental season of our show, formerly called Nat One Presents the Podcast. For better audio quality and our current ongoing DD campaign, skip ahead to season two featuring the Daft Monks on this episode of Nat One Presents.

[0:17] Maybe that's possible, but I really doubt this this [expletive] spirit woman was like her ancient Celtic tree is right off the bat, it's just right there.

[0:28] Adventure, heartwarming stories, role-playing that could only be seen by the gods. Here at Nat One Presents, you get all that and more. Now join us as we adopt another epic tale of Con.

[0:45] Just kidding. This is Nat One Presents, a tabletop role-playing game podcast that takes your favorite nerdy games and pop up your icons and ruins them with improv.

[0:56] Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents the Podcast. Hey Nate. Nate, you're back. I'm back. You survived your family vacation. Oh, it was an ordeal.

[1:06] It looked fun. I saw our photos. It looked cool.

[1:08] That's the They weren't from you. No, no. And then that's the weird thing about photos, Nate, is they can uh capture just a glimpse in time. So say the sun was in my eyes at the right moment and I was squinting. It almost looks like I'm smiling. Yeah, you were it's how they get you. It's how they get you. But I did listen to uh your video game episode, and I gotta say, I am a little upset about it. Oh wow because uh you and Chris always talk about video games when I'm not around. And like I play video games too, man. I kind of hurt my feelings.

[1:41] Oh, I'm sorry, man. It's just really you only talk about Mortal Kombat.

[1:44] Well, now I'm on Guilty Gear Strides. How is that? Uh it's pretty good. I've uh logged in uh how many hours? Probably 80 some hours.

[1:55] That's a lot for you. Yes, that's a lot.

[1:57] And it turns out uh I've been putting all that time into a [expletive] character. He uh turns out after some extensive online research and looking at frame data, which is huge in fight games, he's at the very bottom of the tier list. So, like, man, he's still really fun to play as a Faust guy. He's got a paper bag on his head and [expletive], and he has a huge scalpel. He does cool [expletive], but as far as actually being competitive, because they the actual I like how they did the the multiplayer on it, where it's set up like a huge tower, and you have to work your way up the tower to get to heaven, basically. So it's like heaven or hell is like the big thing.

[1:57] And then I made it up to uh tower level six. I think there's only 10 levels, and right now Faust is really showing me why he's the bottom of the barrel. I could beat the low playing scrubs, no problem. And but once I got up to like people that are actually good, it's a big difference. So uh I changed my character a couple days ago, and now I'm working on 80 more hours. Yeah, here we go.

[2:52] And this is why I can't get you to finish Castlevania. This is why you're never on CS Thieves. Uh, I should get on C of Thieves. This is what you're passionate about.

[3:01] This is what you're passionate about. Did you do that Evo tournament, the online one? No, I didn't. I got too scared because like the whole like latency thing. Like, okay, so I sign up for a thing called uh GForce Now, which basically like Netflix for video games, but they did a new update where you can stream it to Apple devices now through Safari. Okay. And then so that basically saved me on my vacation because now I can still play a little bit of guilty gear, but just the little bit of lag in it is enough to blow your brains out.

[3:30] And it [expletive] sucks. So is that the like Apple specific lag, or it was just like in general?

[3:36] I think just in general, because like if mom doesn't have great Wi-Fi out there, so I was trying to play off cell data. That's fair, and it just wasn't that great. Yeah, okay. But then the whole thing is if I want to play on this tournament, I have to link it to my PlayStation and then kind of back play it to my computer that I like I have a working controller with. Yeah, and just that little bit of lag, I knew it wasn't gonna be worth my time. Yeah, that's sentence. We just gotta play the waiting game. We'll see.

[4:00] What are your thoughts on? I mean, I feel like you have to play as like higher tier characters when you play a fighting game or you have no chance, which sucks because I'm always like, I like to just play like who I want to play as well.

[4:11] Right, they were like the kooky fun characters and stuff. But yeah, like I think if you do want to be competitive, you either need to log in double the amount of hours. Like the main guy right now is uh his name's Soul Bad Guy, and he's [expletive] [expletive], man. He has this like invincible move where it puts up a huge shield and he ducks low and just [expletive] nails you every time. So I'm playing Faust, he puts me in a corner, and anytime I do anything, he's like same move over and over again. This guy's just [expletive] spamming it. It's gross.

[4:38] Yeah, I was pretty upset about it.

[4:40] I'm still pretty worked out.

[4:41] I I feel the same thing in Smash Bros. That's like the only fighting game I've ever really invested in. And I play that since like high school, like middle school, honestly. So I'm like middle of the line. Like I can if you like just casually play, I can probably beat you. But if you're like really into following the series, then probably not. But it there's just certain characters that it's like it's like there's no point, like there's no point in fighting them. I I love I really love like ranged, uh whatever you call, like when you like control, like what do they call that? Like population control or area control or whatever.

[4:41] Like, so I play as uh Duck Hunt, who basically he like throws out, he has like three different timed explosive projectiles, and like my favorite is like a little can. And so I put out this little [expletive] can. I'll be fighting you, and I every time I like tap beat, the can like hops and it can change directions, and you can like multi-hop to like increase its height and stuff. So like there's just a can there. It's it's almost like you know, setting like with Snake, he just like sets a mine, and it's right there, and that's boring. But with [expletive] Duck Hunt, I can like literally chase you around with this like [expletive] can. I can like change his direction by hitting it, and it's hilarious.

[4:41] Like to me, it's like the funniest [expletive] thing. But he's not great, like he's not a top tier character. So like as I've gotten pretty good with him, but at the end of the day, he like you can hit him like another play with a smash attack seven times, and there's they won't die, like they'll never get knocked off the stage. So it's a bummer. Like, that's what I hate about fighting games. I I just want to play. Like, I've also like I've tried the competitive Pokemon scene. Oh yeah, and that [expletive]'s like way more competitive than I ever thought the game could be. And it's like it's it's it's a waste of time if you're not playing with like the very clearly top-tier like Pokemon. You're fine.

[6:17] I think like, especially nowadays with games and how everybody plays it, like there's like a threshold. Like, yeah, I play a lot and I play for fun, but as soon as you want to take it to that next level, like, oh, maybe I can compete in a local tournament or something. Oh no, you're not ready for that.

[6:30] Well, and and then it it gets to the point where like you have to play this character a certain way. Right. And like there's like no wiggle room, right? Like, this is how you play that character. If you don't, you're wrong, which I don't think is fun either, like, unfortunately, but that's that's how like right.

[6:43] Because that's the point of video games, is like to express yourself and do whatever you want with your character, and now you're like, no, you can only play footsies or play neutral with this character.

[6:51] In a perfect world, all characters are the same tier, and you can play them however you want, and like they're still good or bad, whatever, but that's not realistic and will never happen. But that's that's my dream for fighting games.

[7:01] Ooh, me too.

[7:01] I like that. I would dig that, right? So you can play fast, whether he [expletive] sucks and his frames are loaded as hell or whatever. Exactly.

[7:08] Oh, that would be nice. Uh, side news, because I'm the best at transitioning, to the Patreon. We have a uh new person that signed up. He is my good friend John. Uh thank you, John. It's he's been a long time listener, and now he can actually start watching the videos. And I've been bugging him for time and time again, and I even talk [expletive] on him a little bit, but he finally did it, and he signed up. And I just want to say thank you, John. Uh, eventually, we might have to get him on the show. He's kind of funny, kinda. He's got a great story. I don't know if he'll tell anybody about it. I'll tell you when the camera's not rolling. So I'm telling Nate about your story, John. You got me.

[7:08] That's all part of it. And uh, so that's all I want to say about that. Thank you, John, for signing up for the Patreon.

[7:55] Thanks, John. And I'll also add, uh, if you have you been following our Patreon, uh, it was June was a hard month for us both recording. We had uh back-to-back family vacations. Is that what we're calling them? Other stuff going on. Yeah, I I don't know. I went to Mexico, I had a blast, so I guess sorry. Um, but yeah, June was a tough month. So we're we are uh catching up this week and July. We will be back up to date with all recordings. I think we might, once we get caught up, throw in a couple maybe even more bonus episodes once we're ahead of the game. Yep. Um, coming down the line. But thanks for your patience.

[7:55] Again, June is not the typical schedule we follow, so you should be back to your pre-scheduled uh content.

[8:31] Yep, and we appreciate all you guys that uh are paying for the Patreon and everything and supporting us. Thank you, Nightbot. Nightbot, you're the best. Number one Discord fan.

[8:41] I want somebody sign up and just like as Nightbot. That would be amazing. That'd make my day.

[8:48] Yeah.

[8:48] And not know who it is.

[8:51] So, yeah, so sorry. Sorry. Uh, today's episode. We're gonna you guys know that I'm a big fan of the horror genre.

[8:58] Yeah, can I ask you when that started? Like how how far back does that go for you? Now, let me tell you a little story here now. Alright.

[9:06] Now, I was at my aunt and uncle's house, and I believe I was four or five, maybe six years old, pushing it to the limit. And we're having a sleepover, and my aunt thought it was [expletive] hilarious. She had a hobo mask. And she a hobo mask? Is that PC? Hobo. Like homeless person? Yeah.

[9:29] Is it is it? Is that they're just like, oh, buy a mask of a homeless person. That's like a population. Like, that's not a specific person.

[9:36] That's just Well, this one's like old timey, you know, with like the handkerchief and the drunkard nose and the scrubby face. Okay.

[9:45] Questionable choices aside. Okay. And then uh she thought it was super fun that right when I'm about to fall asleep, would sneak into the room with this homeless person mask and scare the living bejeepers out of me. And then she also thought it was fun for one year for Halloween. I forgot what I wanted to be. It was something super cool, but then she ended up painting my face like Dracula. And then when she showed me in the mirror, it was not what I wanted, it was Dracula, and it scared me. So your own scared my own reflection. And I think that's what got me uh into liking being scared, I guess. Because I'm like, ooh, it's a rush, you know? So I've always liked uh scary movies and just something about them.

[9:45] But lately it seems like scary movies are [expletive]. And I'm not afraid to say it. Like a lot of them put out some good stuff in the beginning, like, ooh, yeah, I can really get behind this. And then they just [expletive] the bed, like we've said before. And I think that's what we're gonna be talking about today. I got four movies that I want to talk about.

[10:47] I'm excited. So I this episode, I didn't want to even pretend like I don't watch scary movies. I'm like the biggest, it's just like the last movie choice I would choose, right? Like, it's not my like uh action, comedy, romance, all that. And then like I guess like uh my partner wants to go see the um uh the purge, like whatever fit iteration of the purge around the forever purge. Forever purge. And I'm just like, not really, like partly because sometimes I feel like these stories are terrible, and then sometimes, like, yeah, it makes me a little uncomfortable like watching it. Like I'm the guy who like nervously laughs in the movie theater. I mean, ha ha ha ha. Has somebody been like dishelled. Exactly.

[10:47] Like during Saw, I'm just all uh I'm just like laughing uncomfortably, and I think it makes other people uncomfortable too.

[11:28] I'm pretty sure you giggled in Mortal Kombat when Kung Lu uh cut that dragon lady in that.

[11:32] Oh yeah, I do it, and it's like it's it's totally like a mechanism, it's very odd. But so yeah, I'm gonna leave it to you today. I'm I'm excited. I obviously have opinions, I've seen some horror films, so I I'm looking forward to like talking about it with you, but uh not gonna pretend this this episode. Uh, I do want to tell a little story though. I have uh a kind of couple couple like cool little anecdotes. One was that my like Freddie Kruger is like Nightmare on Elm Street.

[11:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:56] That's like my big fear uh growing up because my siblings are have a half brother and half sister, and they're eight years older. And so they thought it was cool to watch Nightmare on Elm Street when I'm like four years old.

[12:06] Ooh, that's terrible. Right?

[12:07] Like, yeah, that's terrible. I still like even like I'm talking within the month, I probably have had like a dream with Freddie Kruger in it. Like it still happens. I'm like less afraid now when he shows up and dreams and more like, really, man, like I'm like 30. Like, can you like give me a break here? Um, but so but anyway, long story short, short, I worked at a hotel in college and they did a big horror convention called Rock and Shock. And so they would actually have like horror film stars come. And so I met I forgot what do you know the name? I'm yeah, super [expletive] nice guy. That's what I've heard.

[12:07] And then like it was kind of like this weird moment to me of like I met the guy who I basically was who played the guy I was like terrified about growing up, and he was super nice, and so it was maybe that is like what helped me maybe even get over like some of my fears or something. But that was pretty cool. I used I used to meet uh like uh the guy from Machete, uh Oh, Danny Trail? Yep. He he stayed at the hotel I was because basically it was in Worcester, Massachusetts, and there's not a lot of hotels in downtown Worcester, and I worked at like the only semi-nice one, so I met a lot of these guys. I also met Gary Busey and a bunch of weird guys.

[12:07] He was bananas, by the way. Um so it was cool. I met a lot of horror folks, and actually they were all pretty chill. Oh, yeah. Um part of the only people who weren't chill during that convention was they actually had some of the like other band members from like Metallica, and like one of I forgot the guy's name, but he was a huge ass. Like he I like had me bring up dishes to him like late at night, and I'm like, it's just not what the night audit does. It was stupid. So uh anyway, not really into horror, but that convention was always like a really fun time.

[13:37] I want to go to that. Yeah, you would have to work it.

[13:39] Doug that dude, yeah, it was cool because it was like a it was between the convention center, and then they also had like uh it was a like a uh a concert hall that was purely for like metal concerts and stuff. So they would like have stuff at both venues, and like people would it was almost like a festival and it was cool. It's just kind of a [expletive], but that was like a cool convention, like one of its like small claim to fame.

[13:59] So I always liked the the nightmare on Elm Streets because there's something about being asleep, you're so vulnerable, you know. Like though that kind of stuff is really scary when you're vulnerable and like or when you're alone and by yourself, like those are the things that really make the horror genre like pop, you know. I just watched the like two-hour-long deck uh documentary on the first male Scream Queen, which was uh I think uh Nightmare on Elm Street 2, where usually in horror movies it's always a chick that's running away, but this time it was a dude. Okay, and like that was a big thing at the time, and it turned out he's gay or whatever, which was a bigger deal back then than it is now. He talked about all that, yeah.

[14:35] Yeah, I I think uh so I was reading about Wes Craven's like the story that uh inspired him, kind of like partly of that tale. And like I thought that that was pretty crazy. Basically, he was like a little kid and he like looked for some reason he felt compelled to look out the window one night. I think he heard somebody walking down the street, and when he looked out, there was this drunk guy looking directly at him, like in the window. So he got scared, like went down. I'm scared. Yeah, exactly. Scary, but like that's not even that crazy, right?

[14:35] But so he he says he like he goes like under his bed or he goes like away from the window, like and he waits a while, and then he's like, it seemed like forever. But then he goes back and checks the window. The guy did not break eye contact, still looking at the window. Then what he proceeds to do is pretend to walk in slow motion backwards into the entrance of his like it sounded like it was an apartment building or something, and went into the apartment building. He could hear it. He went to wake up his brother, got a bat, and then like that guy, he was drunk, I think he was just [expletive] with the kids, so then that guy ran away.

[14:35] But that's basically like the story that inspired it of like basically like somebody who was like aware of like someone's fear and just like taking advantage of it. It was just I thought that was pretty crazy. So cool, yeah. And then also he was inspired by like well, I don't know, like rubber man or something. Basically, the fact that like when Freddie transforms into things, you can see like the red and green stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he's inspired by some other like old guy, like some rubber guy who would like turn into something, but you'd always see like his like hat or like tie or something, and you would know it was him, it was always styled his way. So it's cool, it was fun to read about that.

[16:02] Um because I know there was a a couple too uh that he took from where it gets into the dream stuff, and that was based on real life events where there was like a whole slew of I forget, it was like young college kids or something that weren't going to sleep. So like they and they would end up dying from obviously like exhaustion or whatever. And they would like the police would go into these kids' apartments and stuff, and there'd be like six coffee pots in there, all the cat feeding pills and stuff. Like, why were these kids afraid to go to sleep?

[16:29] So then that's when he like this is why it's uh was Craven like he puts a lot of thought in it. So like his I I like and he actually like the original ending of Freddie Kruger was like more like deep, and then they just changed it to more of like the scare tactic ending. But anyway, that's that's all I'll say on that. I'm curious to see. So the premise of today, right, is that you picked so some of the horror movies have not been so great lately, or in general for a while now. You picked three or four.

[16:55] Four four there was originally three, but I watched another one what was it two nights ago, and I messaged you right away, and I'm like, this movie's [expletive] [expletive].

[17:02] Cannot wait. So you basically are gonna pick four movies with horrible endings. Yes. And then also, did you maybe say like if you would change the ending or being a good thing? I thought we can fix it.

[17:12] Okay, or if like you should have just not just given up. All right. I just cut it. I'm excited. Here we go. Here we go. All right. The first one I want to talk about is a movie called Shadow in the Cloud. It came out, I don't know, I should have written down all these dates, but [expletive] it, you can look it up. Shadow in the Cloud. It's got um the little girl from Kick Ass in it. She's an adult woman now, but uh, what's her name? Chloe Mortz or something like that. Kick ass girl. Well, yeah, kick-ass girl. And uh the movie starts off with she jumps on a plane and she says she's a pilot, and the movie does a really good job. You can tell that's kind of low budget.

[17:12] It does a great job of just uh flashing between uh it's just her in like a capsule in one of those old World War II bombers, you know, like the gunner pallets. Wow, yeah. So it's just her in there for a good majority of the movie, and all she can hear is people talking on the radio, and it does a great job of like using that as like it's uh I love the concept. Honestly, you're selling the [expletive] as a as its fear device, you know, like because you don't you can't see what's going on, you can only hear, right? And she's like, Oh man, what the [expletive]'s going on, you know? And then uh then there's a couple twists. It turns out it's a gremlin movie.

[17:12] The the main monster is a gremlin, it jumps on the plane and stuff, and like okay, the CGI is not great, but I can live with that because the so far the storytelling's been really good. But now it gets to a point where [expletive] starts to go downhill, and it turns out that this lady is running from an abusive husband. Oh, okay. And there's another guy on the plane that she had a baby with, an affair baby, if you will, and that baby is now in a bag in the plane. She's down in the pod by herself, the baby is in a bag with the dad up in the plane. Nobody else knows there's a baby on board. They find out there's a baby. And then uh [expletive] happens, the gremlin starts tearing [expletive] up.

[17:12] She's like, This is a gremlin. It turns out she's a badass because she starts like gunning and stuff, and then now the Japanese planes are coming after him all of a sudden, and the gremlin's still tearing [expletive] up. There's a big hole in the plane. All this is fine with me. This is over here. You're still on board. I'm still on board.

[19:10] You started to lose me a little bit with the baby in the bag.

[19:12] Yeah, there's a baby in a bag, but I'm still okay with it. I will still follow along. But there's one scene, if you watch it, Nate, where I'm like, nope, I'm done. I'm officially checked out. I still finished the movie, so we could have this conversation. But she's walking on the edge of the plane, falls out of the [expletive] plane, but it just so happens another plane explodes underneath of her and launches her back into the original plane. That's not a thing. No, that's not a thing. And that that was the point where I'm like, what the [expletive] is going on? And then it just went downhill from there. Great movie up until this point, and then they're like, you know what? We don't give a [expletive] anymore. We're making a movie.

[19:12] So then the the gremlin thing kills most of the crew and [expletive]. There's like uh, you know, a woman empowerment moment, and then they crash land on a beach, blam. Oh, somehow she saved the baby. The baby almost dies like 20 [expletive] times in this thing.

[20:09] I don't know how the baby survived. So was this like some kind of mechanic to like they needed the baby to have something to protect, like aside from everybody else on the plane? I think so. Like maybe you feel like the baby's superfluous. Like, I don't think it's adding anything to this story that's not.

[20:25] No, it didn't. If if anything, it's just like, man, why is there a baby involved? You know, like there's a bunch of murder and [expletive] going on. There that's why does there have to be a baby in a bag? And like, why'd you sedate your baby and then put it in a bag? Like, I feel like there's other ways you could have hid your baby to get on board or snuck a flight somewhere, like that all that stuff didn't make sense.

[20:25] But at the at the very end of it, they crash land, and then she's like, the dude, the father of the baby is like hurt or something, and then she's like, Hold my baby, and then the dad holds the baby, and then Chloe, whatever, runs along the beach and then just starts beating the [expletive] out of this gremlin with her bare hands.

[21:02] And that's when I [expletive] lost it.

[21:04] I just started laughing, and then she's destroying this gremlin thing with her bare hands on the beach and ends up like stabbing them with its own tail or claw or something like that. And then afterwards, she's like, Yeah. And then they live happily over after, I think.

[21:18] You had me so sold in the beginning.

[21:20] Like, everyone's watching.

[21:22] I was like, this sounds pretty good. Like, and again, I don't I don't really dig these types of movies, but like that element, because like even like if I think back to my National Guard train, like, you know, I I've had these like simulations, right, where you hear like on the radio, like it's not near you, but it's somewhere else, and then like, oh, like six people down, like whatever, like that's terrifying, you know. So I can imagine being like in a pod just hearing like the you know, like the the radio banter, yeah, back and forth. That that that like you sold me there, but then it got weird. Even the gremlin part, I don't even know how I felt.

[21:22] Like was it it was like you said it was oak the gremlin wasn't that big of a deal. Like I'm thinking like Gremlins one, gremlins two.

[21:57] It was like a it was like a uh What's the other movie I'm thinking of? It's called a gremlin, but it looks more like uh what was that cartoon we used to watch all the time? Uh Gargoyle. Oh, yeah, okay. So it was like that looking kind of thing, like a big gargoyle looking instead of.

[22:12] Did they explain like where anything? Is there any backstory to where or what that is? No. No, no. That's a horror movie thing, too, right? It's like they don't have to, right?

[22:20] But there were some teasers in the beginning, and they're like, oh, you gotta watch out for gremlins, which I guess was a thing in the World War II era thing. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, the gremlins are what caused the plane to go down, not people not.

[22:32] I like that concept, like more of that tied into it.

[22:34] And that was all in the beginning. So they threw that in nicer, like, oh, okay, yeah, I can see what's going on. But as soon as that plane exploded and threw her back into the original plane, I was like, what the [expletive] am I watching?

[22:44] I'm gonna need a look, you're gonna have to send me a clip. That's gotta be on YouTube. It's gotta be that's bananas.

[22:48] But I'll try to find some.

[22:49] So she's like skydiving and then an explosion, like the force sensor back up. How does it even like the physics there? All right.

[22:56] So the gremlin pops a hole in the wing or something like that, and there's a big metal bar that flies out and hangs out. Well, it's more like an upside-down J-looking thing like that. Yeah, and then somehow the gremlin manages to steal the baby and in the bag, and then somehow she shoots the gremlin or something, and the bag ends up dangling off of this hook out in the [expletive] sky, you know. And she's like, Nope, I'm a [expletive] mama bear. I'm gonna get out there and save my baby, and she saves that baby. And like it was at that point where somehow she threw the bag back in and the plane explodes, she flies back in, and she's like the only badass in the whole movie, which is whatever, you know.

[22:56] I get it, you know, but it was too much, especially her killing the thing on a beach with her bare hands later on after it just straight dismantled like six other dudes.

[23:44] Yeah, seems like strong premise that just got tired or they just like stopped trying. Yeah, I think that could have been real cool. Honestly, like plain dramas are really good, like [expletive] like red eye and [expletive] like that. Like I love [expletive] like that.

[23:56] And the with the I think if you were to watch it, you'd really like how she just closes her eyes and tries to imagine who's talking and what. So it shows like a pure black screen with just like a white silhouette of the face that she like barely saw, and like that's like them talking, and like that's how they're doing the radio community. And I really like that the whole cinematography thing and everything.

[24:14] I like that. I I think it's harder to like create a horror film in like a confined space, and so if you can pull that off, it's like a recipe for success.

[24:22] Oh, yeah. Especially with like a lower budget, totally. That's all you need. If you have great dialogue, you can get away with it. Like the the older movies, like all the Twilight Zones or the Hitchcock ones, they didn't need all this CGI [expletive]. They didn't, they really didn't. It was just a story, and you're hooked on the story, like, man, that is scary. But in order to fix this movie, Shadow in the Cloud, how would you have uh maybe I would have uh omitted the plane explosion? And let's just say I really would have liked it if the Gremlin just got away. If somehow or another, like the uh the Japanese planes come in, and so not only are they fighting this gremlin, they're also fighting Japanese planes.

[24:22] Wait, like so what happens with the Japanese, like right, they just fly in, and then the the one pilot's like they're not supposed to be this close to us, and like, [expletive], they're right there [expletive] attacking us. You know, the zeros are like shooting it at them and shooting.

[25:08] And then the plane crashes, and you don't hear anything else about the Japanese. Right, and then they're gone. They're gone. So I don't know what happened. I think she might have shot them all. Plot device, right? And like, I who knows? Like it it flew in there and then flew out. Be like, oh [expletive], like there's like three of us on our tail, and then like they start going down because the gremlins like [expletive] taking it, and then they're like, oh [expletive], that would have been fine too if there were more gremlins jumping in and taking down those planes, but yeah, who knows?

[25:31] But I definitely would have preferred, I think, just omit the baby right off the get-go, get rid of that baby, um, and just have the gremlin attack the plane and keep doing like the confined space dialogue and try to expand on that instead of what started off as a horror movie turned into some kind of weird action movie at the tail end of it.

[25:51] And I didn't was it like daylight when they land on the island there? So like you just got like that that like strikes me as a little weird.

[25:58] Yeah, it's nighttime, and like, oh man, it's cloudy.

[26:00] That's like what I was imagining when you're describing it. I'm not imagining like [expletive] Bahama, Gremlin, fist fight. No, that was at the end, it was daylight, and they're fighting on the beach in the middle of the daylight.

[26:11] Amazing, yeah. So that was uh Shadow in the Cloud. Go ahead and uh check it out. Send us a comment. Let us know.

[26:17] And for you, that was like such a deal breaker at the end that that's like a top four. Like when you thought of like movies of bad endings, like it got that bad.

[26:24] Oh, yeah, because like you usually expect it, usually it was like one thing or another. We're like, oh man, I wouldn't have done that. Like, this movie sucks now. But this it was too much. Like, even I looked over at Megan and she's like, Really? She got blown back in the plane. I'm like, it could happen.

[26:39] So we'll give it eight out of ten baby in a bags for bad ending score.

[26:45] Absolutely. But it it really sold me though, because it made it memorable because the beginning was so good, right?

[26:52] Like, I was like, You get more mad at stuff when it has the potential to be really good. That's how I feel like as well. Yeah, so I I can see that. I can see that. Like, if you have such a strong start and like an artistic like point of view, and then it just blows that away.

[27:06] Yeah, it was man, very disappointing. Okay, so if we go to the next one, transitioning. Number movie number two. All these are ones that I've seen recently, so that's why I pretty much wrote them down. Of the I watch a lot of horror movies, but this one's called The Wretched, and this one got me because the cover art looked good. It was like an old twisted tree and like a weird tree.

[27:26] That was your first mistake. You don't pick based on the card.

[27:28] I know, I know. Huge mistake. But then the the description got me because it was like a an old tree goddess, kind of like how I described uh what's his name? Harry in our thing, how he had like the horns sprouting out and stuff, like his demon form. So like it kind of looked a little bit like that. So like old, like uh Celtic, you know, kind of deal. I get that. And so the the another one where the movie's going great. So far, it's about a kid who has to go live with his dad for the summer because he's a troublemaker and a youngster, you know.

[27:57] It's like an 80s premise right there, yeah.

[28:00] Yeah, and then uh the family next door, something happens to them where the the tree spirit comes out and basically eats a baby. Again with the baby. I don't I really don't like anything that happens to babies, but whatever. It eats the baby, and then all of a sudden everyone forgets about the baby. So, like apparently that's this monster's thing, is it'll eat someone and then make everybody else just forget that person even existed, and then it inhabits the mom's body. Oh, spoilers, everybody, if you're really gonna watch these, I'm telling you what's going on.

[28:34] Yes, but I mean you should know if you watch our show at this point. Like, we don't give a [expletive]. Sugarcoating.

[28:38] Yeah, so um the the spirit thing inhabits the mom's body, goes about its business. Only the little there's another son, only he knows like that's not my mom. So then the spirit lady's like, well, [expletive] you, I'm gonna kill you. So the kid runs next door to our main hero, who's some teenager dude, [expletive] looking guy. Um, help me, that's not my mom, blah, blah, blah, blah. Uh eats the little kid. And then everybody forgets about the little kid. He goes next door to the dad and he's like, people keep forgetting.

[29:07] That's that like an actual like enchantment type thing. Okay.

[29:10] Yeah, it was like part of her powers or something like that. Which I'll get to that later. It doesn't make any [expletive] sense. Okay. So he goes to the dad, he's like, What happened to your son? He's like, I never had any kids. Party hard, bro. Like, that was the dad. Yikes, yeah. Okay, and then like, oh man, but for some reason, this teenager kid next door remembers this [expletive]. And then he goes and breaks into their [expletive] uh basement, and turns out there's a bunch of baby clothes and stuff in there, and also a Satan shrine kind of thing made of twigs and stuff. Yeah, and then the mom's right. So then uh the mom slash demon figures out and she goes after him, and then there's some more [expletive] going on.

[29:10] Um, blah blah blah. We get to the twists, and the twists are it turns out our main teen protagonist uh had a little brother this whole time, and we never knew. And you forgot that. Yeah, that was the twist of two twists. There was two twists. That was the first one.

[30:10] Uh, he had a brother the whole time, which doesn't make any [expletive] sense because Roddy remembered the other ones, but couldn't remember yes, and they don't explain that at all.

[30:17] No, they don't explain [expletive].

[30:19] It's a twist for twists, that's it for the sake of it.

[30:22] I could I could understand it if it was like a different point of view. Like if we were only looking through this teenage dude's eyes the whole time, okay, maybe that would make sense. But they're showing a lot of scenes where it's just the possessed family dealing with [expletive], and there's a family beforehand. So we're seeing it from our point of view, you know, as the viewer, not the teenage kid. Yeah. And then some more [expletive] happens, and they found out they tracked down where the tree lady lives, and she stole his crushes. There's some teen [expletive] drama in this thing. It does, it muddles up the movie, whatever. Yeah.

[30:22] But the biggest thing that killed it for me, I can get past all this, but then all of a sudden, they're in the middle of the woods tracking down this tree, and the demon pops out of its little hole to grab them. And the dad of our teen hero somehow got a car to drive all the way through the [expletive] woods and crush this demon right into the tree. Now, I've only been to some woods, never like a lot of woods. That's not a thing, but I don't really imagine a car being able to just drive through the [expletive] woods like that. That's not because it was kind of deep in there.

[31:29] Yeah.

[31:30] Right? Are you familiar with trees, right?

[31:32] Yeah, I grew up in the northeast, so lots of wooded areas. Uh, no, like, right, like that not only like at the edges would that not work, but especially not deep, but that's impossible.

[31:41] Right.

[31:41] That is not a thing. Unless they were in like a national park, and so you're like, you think right they're like in the deep in the woods, but they're off like there's a road right next to it. Maybe that's possible, but I really doubt this this [expletive] spirit woman was like her ancient Celtic tree is right off the path.

[31:57] It's just right there. For convenience, you know. But that that was the [expletive] killer for me.

[32:09] Somehow, this dad, who had just been stabbed, mind you, is able to accurately drive through a forest.

[32:17] Horror has like the best ducex maninas, like ever.

[32:20] I have no idea where this [expletive] tree was.

[32:22] He can't even remember his children half the time, but he forgot about one of them. And did the tree look any different? Did it look like was there anything notable about this tree? Like, or how would he even know he's never seen the tree before he's never been out there?

[32:33] It doesn't make any sense.

[32:34] But somehow he managed to get out there and crush it with the car. Maybe if he had like an ATV, you know, like there's if they really wanted to go that route, which they shouldn't have, but if they really wanted to, like, you could probably have done something a little bit better. Yeah. Maybe like a [expletive] tractor, you know. Yeah, like that would have been something like that. No, it's like a full-size SUV as far as we could drive there.

[32:57] Oh, and then uh, so they defeat the demon, uh Celtic Witch Lady, and then there's one more twist at the end. It turns out the girl he's been trying to bang this whole time was possessed by the Celtic Witch Lady. And I'm just like, what the [expletive]? Like, when did this happen? Yeah, you can't just throw that in there. I hate that. I hate that. Between the little brother, him having a little brother the whole [expletive] time, and then now the girl he wanted to bang is possessed, and then he just leaves because she gives him a flower at the end. And her thing was for some reason being uh a nature witch goddess thing, anytime she came across plants or anything, they would die.

[32:57] So she gave him a flower at the end, and then he's in the car on the way back home. It's plastic. And he's like, Why'd you give me a plastic flower? And then it flashes back to her in a boat full of a bunch of kids, and she's like, it's [expletive] stupid.

[33:49] Uh that this to me, uh so this gets uh nine out of ten babies in bags. Yep. Uh, because at least the first one, like they made artistic choices that were bad, but yeah, I mean, like, physics-wise aside, like uh whatever, like I can see where they tried and nothing too crazy. The whole like randomly adding uh sister or friend possessions and then like other brothers you've forgotten without explaining it, that's a huge deal breaker for me in a movie. Like, it's one thing if you have a reason and you explain it and the reason sucks, okay. If it's another thing if you don't have a reason and you just throw it in there, not okay.

[34:24] Especially just when it doesn't add up. Like, why are you able to remember the other two kids but not your own [expletive] brother? That doesn't make sense. And then the girl he's trying to bang, that uh her sister gets abducted and he can remember her. So why can't you?

[34:37] Yeah, right, there's no continuity. Right. What's going on? It didn't make sense. Yeah, I don't understand because I feel like you have to be pretty creative to come up with horror stories. Like I find the premises are all very actually most horror stories when I read the premise, I'm like, this looks really good. But then like execution. Execution seems to be a thing, you know. Like if they think that if they put this much thought into like a cool premise, why wouldn't they want to wrap it up? You know, like I don't know.

[35:01] It's like I've said before, like they're trying really hard, and then they get like halfway through it and they're like, you know, I'm I'm over it.

[35:07] You know, this isn't like Saw 16, you know, where like, yeah, I'm not looking at it.

[35:11] Sorry, Chris Rock.

[35:14] That maybe would have been cool, like Saw two, three, maybe even four, but like by Saw nine or ten, no new actor like is going to like make me care about that series. It it didn't, I hear I heard it bombed naturally.

[35:28] I mean, like I didn't want to see it.

[35:30] Like in the middle of the tail end of a pandemic, Saw was not the movie we were really looking for.

[35:36] Um, they want happy, cheerful stuff, or the conjuring devil made me do it, which I did watch that, and that one was [expletive] good.

[35:42] Which one?

[35:43] Conjuring the Devil Made Me Do It. Oh, okay. Part of the Conjuring Universe. All right. And then so after we watched that, we're like, we need to watch all these [expletive]. So we rewatched them all in the order that it says to online or whatever. And the yeah, the Conjuring Devil Made Me Do It, I really like that one. It had a good ending. Okay.

[35:58] And how about the series as a whole? Because you say you went back and watched everyone's serious.

[36:02] As a whole, I think it's solid. It's the it's like different kind of scare. Like, as we're going back and watching it, you can really appreciate the stuff they do. But it's things that like still scare me to this day. It's like, uh, what was that noise kind of deal? Or all these places have a long [expletive] hallway. Like they live in an apartment, but all of a sudden they have the longest [expletive] hallway I've ever seen in my life. But the way they do the shadows on it where like it's pitch black in one corner of the room, you know.

[36:26] The devil's in the details, like literally, right? That's what's I agree. Like, it's that kind of stuff, like not like horrible prosthetics. Like, I mean, it worked in the 80s and 90s, but like we don't really need that anymore. It's really the like subtle, scary [expletive] that that sticks with you.

[36:41] And the the yeah, the little details and just stop with like the jump scares and stuff, because sometimes that works, but like I think slow burn horror is the superior horror where it's like, man, this is like spooky, you know, and then it just keeps building and building and building.

[36:59] And when you can't figure it out, like it's not like it's not exactly what you said, the jump scare. Like, there's nothing to figure out about jump scare, but like when you're just like, what the [expletive] is going on? And it's just building, and you know it's going to like climax, but you like you don't know when or why. That that's that's what that's what gets me. There was back in the day the person who makes Metal Gear Solid, uh, Kojima, he worked on this like demo of like a horror game where you basically just go around a hallway that's almost like square, and like details keep changing, like the door becomes ajar, and like stuff. Yeah, and uh that was terrifying.

[36:59] People were saying like that was some of like some of the scariest horror. Like it didn't, unfortunately, because Kojima like has bounced around the lawn and has like a really weird history.

[37:39] Like a weirdo, right?

[37:40] He's a well, he loves storytelling, but he he builds games on storytelling, so it like actually would make sense he'd be in a horror, but that was it. Nothing really came of that. Uh because and shortly after he left um what's that publishing company who did Mill Gear Solid? Uh Konami. Yes. They kind of like split ways, and so I think that's probably why that never took off. But that was like, yeah, he's an artist and they just want to probably pump [expletive] out. So like most publishers do. So uh I think uh but that was hailed as like one of the scariest game demos ever. And it's kind of too bad. It would have been a great thing to like try out sometime on the stream or something. So yeah.

[37:40] God, I love being scared. All right, all right. So so that was The Wretched. That one's not [expletive]. I would not I would actually give the first one a chance. Yes. Um, I would I would not be there with The Wretched.

[38:26] I already started it. Once I start one, I usually have to finish. Wait till we get to my last one because I want to turn that off like 30 minutes into it. So the the the third one here I have is a movie called The Soul Collector. Now it's a uh South African film, so they made it in South Africa or whatever. And I've always been a big fan of other people's cultures and like uh their mythology or mythos, if you will. So this one is covering the African culture and like a little bit of voodoo, little bit of like witch doctor stuff, like shaman, yes, yep, and that kind of stuff like really piques my interest, you know. Like I want to follow that. There's not a lot of that, right?

[39:03] Like to really like in our culture to really like pop culture-wise to like look into it.

[39:07] Because we're just getting smothered with the whole Norse stuff lately, and Marvel. Thanks, Marvel. Oh, but it's nice and refreshing to have something that's a little bit different. Yeah. And this was another one of those where the whole movie was great. It's uh about a guy whose daughter ends up dying in a fire, and he ends up like basically making a deal with a demon to like bring her back. But the only problem is she's like a demon daughter now. It's still like her, but not really her. Yep.

[39:07] So he has to keep this girl in a bag and basically feed her humans, human souls every so often to like keep her alive, and like that feel he feels like that's his curse now, is like he's stuck with her and doesn't really know what to do with her. So he's meandering around. And this uh family takes over this family farm that they have, they come back, move back out, and they're trying to get established, and then all of a sudden he just shows up as like a drifter kind of deal. And the mom character, I want to say she's slightly racist, which I don't know in South Africa. I'm sure it's a big deal.

[39:07] I'm sure there's there's racists everywhere you go, but in South Africa for sure, like I think that's like colonized, like a lot of South Africa's colonized, so yeah, yeah, and they're having problems and stuff, but uh so that like that was her thing. Like the dad is just like, no, he just wants to help out on the on a ranch and stuff, and we could use the help. And she's like, I don't know, he's just some drifter, you know, [expletive] weirdo. But it turns out she was right, he is a drifter, he does kill people, he is bad, and then everything's going great, following the story along the whole time.

[39:07] Uh at the end of it, the farm family has a daughter, and he basically needs to work up and steal that daughter's soul to feed his demon daughter kind of deal. And it was all going great until we get to the part where he actually tries to kill this the daughter. And he is miserable right now. He hates his own demon daughter, yeah, but he feels like he just has to keep her along, and he doesn't, it seems like he doesn't even want to kill this little white girl, but he's gonna do it anyways. So like reluctantly doing what he doesn't have to, yeah. And the and the way the they did the daughter in the bag, the demon daughter, that [expletive]'s terrifying.

[39:07] It's like this big brown burlap sack looking thing, and she just like crawls out of it.

[41:25] Like that was pretty cool, like ring-esque. And and what would happen if you were to not feed her? Is that covered?

[41:30] Like no, they didn't really say, like, like would she just die? Maybe, yeah.

[41:34] Or she might try to eat him or because like if if I made the mistake of resurrecting a loved one and then was like, all right, I have to feed them souls, and then after doing that a few times, I'm like, wow, this is really inconvenient. Like, also, these people don't really deserve to die. Right, like, all right, I got rid of my enemies. Now it's just good people I'm like feeding to like a boring, you know, demon in a bag.

[41:53] I think like a typical demon, it plays at his heart strings a little bit at some point. I think she reverts back to her normal little girl appearance when it was his daughter. She's like, but I'm so hungry. Oh, does she do that? Okay, that would that would get it. Yeah, and then so all this happens, and he's on the verge of killing a little white farm girl, and then they go to limbo. And for some, yeah, they both go to limbo. That's a hard, right, Terry? Yeah, because there's another little tribe. How does one go to limbo?

[41:53] I have no idea because at some point there's another tribe like count trying to counteract what he's doing with the demon daughter and [expletive], and they wanted nothing to do with them until the farm people came and asked for help. And so, for one reason or another, we end up in [expletive] limbo, and now they're stuck there. And he's like, Well, you have to make a choice, a little white girl. It's just the ending which just blew my mind, man, because like it just went from like zero to what the [expletive] in like two seconds. So now they're in limbo, like you have to make a choice. You can either stay here in limbo with me forever, and we can hang out and be BFFs, or you can go back yes, the farm girl.

[41:53] Not his his daughter's nowhere to be seen in the limbo. Yes, I know. This is very hard to follow. Yes, I know, and I usually love weird, hard to follow movies, but this was like like I left for one second, and like there's no way I missed what happened in this. I even rewound it, and it's just like I'm still missing it. Yeah. So she ends up deciding to go back with her mom and is reincarnated as a new baby. What? From her same mom. Yes, I know. So the little girl, white farm girl, dies. Yeah. Goes the limbo with the shaman guy. How did he get there? I have I have no idea. I forget, or I wasn't paying attention to it. It doesn't matter.

[43:43] If you don't remember, it didn't like have a good research.

[43:46] And then I remember limbo was kind of cool looking. It was just like a desert kind of with like a red filter on it. I'm like, okay, I can see that being limbo, you know? No, it's basically Tucson. But then, yeah, she goes back and takes over, is reincarnated as a new baby. From her mom. And like that didn't make sense to me. And then is the demon still around? I have no idea.

[44:06] Is that even addressed?

[44:08] No.

[44:10] The soul collector, go watch it. I don't understand. So I hate Wretched because it sounds stupid, but this is just confusing. Right.

[44:18] Like what I think that was one of the reasons I hated it. Where it was I was following along and going great up until that point where he ends up killing the little girl and they go to limbo together. I'm like, man, what the [expletive] is happening right now? And no explanation. Yeah.

[44:34] Yikes. I don't have anything to say because it's it's like I don't even know. Like, I was gonna ask you how you would fix that, but it's just like the movie ended and they just gave it a random ending. Like, you don't even know how to end that movie. You don't even know where they were going with that. You know, like maybe with the other movies, you could be like, oh, all right, we got this one part, and then because of like budget reasons, we didn't know how to like have an end scene, so he drove a car. Like, I can almost see the mistake of like driving a car in the woods where it was like, oh, we just ran out of money in time or whatever, but [expletive] it.

[44:34] We'll drive the SUV into the yeah, sure. Like I can see that, but like [expletive] it, we'll go to limbo and she'll be reincarnated as our her other mother's baby. Right. That's a little weird. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's I mean, that's like pretty out there, right?

[45:13] Um, yeah, I just didn't appreciate it because the whole rest of it was fine. The the whole uh African shaman type stuff, like uh he uses nature. There's a lot of like uh symbolism with moths and different things like that, different animals and like reincarnation cycles they talked about a little bit, but then just to throw it all on the end, like I probably would have gone a different route.

[45:34] You know, similar to the the first movie where maybe cool premise, right? Bad execution. Uh I give it I I would also give that nine what the [expletive] out of out of ten. Yep. Babies in a bag. Babies in babies in a bag. Um, real quick, we're because these are I thought you were probably gonna hit us with more like mainstream ones. Uh, where do you get your like where do you watch these? Is there like a Netflix for horror basically?

[45:56] There is, it's called Shudder.

[45:58] Shudder, okay.

[45:58] Yeah, Shudder, and I subscribe to that, and it is basically a Netflix for horror, but there's not a lot of good horror on the so far.

[46:05] Were all three of these on Shudder?

[46:06] No. Um I think Shadow in the Cloud might have been on HBO Max, The Wretched was on Hulu, Soul Collector's on Shudder, and The Treehouse was a Hulu original, which is going to be the next one.

[46:17] Okay.

[46:18] Wow. All right. Yeah.

[46:19] Well, that's all. But I do watch Shudder. But yeah, so I mean, clearly you put effort into this end because if you track horror movies across multiple streaming platforms, like you're a you're a connoisseur of scares.

[46:30] I like them all, and I like to hate them all, apparently, too.

[46:33] So I think for the point is to for you to have these like four, if these are four standout, yes, horrible endings, they must be atrocious.

[46:41] Where like at least these first three I talked about showed some kind of promise, and then they just like you.

[46:47] I'm afraid, I'm afraid for number four. I I'm like excited, but I'm terrified.

[46:52] Okay, hold on. Let me get I need a drink before we get started on the tree house.

[46:57] I don't know, there'll be a system to rate this. I don't think babies in a bag will be enough.

[47:01] No, this is gonna be a real [expletive] show. For those of you who have seen the tree house, you know exactly what I'm talking about, but let's get prepared for this. Also, uh, just want to say thanks again to John for uh becoming a subscriber on a Patreon. Okay. Now the tree house. Let's get down to nitty-gritty right here. So I message you right away after I watched this. Yeah, it was that big of a deal. So, uh a chef, a uh TV promising chef, is stressed out and he needs to go on a vacation. We learn a couple little details about him. He's divorced, he does have a daughter, he talks with her in the restaurant, he has a twin sister, and he comes from a super rich family.

[47:01] And that's the the gist of the basic information. We meet uh a new character. Um Lonnie was his name. He runs the bait shop. He looks a little slow, but he looks like he has a heart of gold, but also creepy. And they go to the big mansion that he grew up in. We meet Agnes, who is some old blind caretaker lady who I actually liked her character in the beginning because she like gave him [expletive] and stuff. She's like, that old crotchety woman. I'm like, ooh, yeah, I like that. Now, for some reason or another, the the sister has to leave because she's a DA and she's gotta work on this case, even though they're supposed to be spending a twin vacation together. He's like, whatever.

[47:01] And there's some bachelorette party going on, and they run out of power across the property. It never explains how the property line works in this movie. You think with a big mansion it would be like this huge [expletive] property? Because she said across the canyon, but it only took her like five minutes to walk next door to get flashlights and [expletive]. But that's besides the point. He's a chef, he's like, Let me make dinner for you and all your friends. Okay, fine, that sounds great. And then this is when stuff starts to get a little weird because like there is some like self-righteous monologuing going on with the dialogue.

[47:01] It's all just like women empowerment stuff, which is fine, but it seems so off-putting because it's like straight copy and pasted into the script, it seems like like things you would see on social media or things like that, or like just writing the script. Like, man, this is a little off-putting, but I'm gonna keep following it. What if it gets crazy, you know? Yeah, like they talk about the wage gap and [expletive], like whatever.

[49:24] And just like this is like the bachelorette party, and they're tagged by these like social justice. Okay, I can see it.

[49:29] Maybe they also talk about like pregnancy and stuff like that, and the guy's been drinking, so he's kind of a D-bag, which is whatever. He ends up passing out, waking up, one of the chicks is in his bed, but he's like cool about it. He's like, Oh, hey, why don't you wake up and get out of here? You know, she's not waking up. He's like, Alright, I'm gonna go find everybody else. And then that's when like this weird witch thing shows up at his door and basically tracks him down, they tie him down, chain him to a bed. The bachelorette party or just the witch? It's the bachelorette party.

[49:29] Okay, because now they're all circled around the bed and they all show their sweet matching tattoos and they're like, We're witches, [expletive], and then they shoot fire from their hands, and like, okay, they're witches. Megan was done at this point. Yeah, she's like, No, this is [expletive] lame.

[50:14] You're you're a huge optimist, though. Like that's what I've learned from you. It's like there could be like seven red flags, and you're like, I'm still gonna give it a chance, Nate.

[50:22–51:16] [Editorial omission.]

[51:16] And at one point, which sounds like the genres are really mixed here.

[51:21] Like you promised me a horror movie, and this is not a horror movie. Okay, like this is just like what is going on?

[51:27] So his twin sister sorority wedding party, right, uh uh bachelorette party turns on him because of his past as like a rapist and whatever. And then where does it go from here?

[51:40] So he manages to uh escape from there.

[51:43] He's not gonna live, clearly. You've already given a backstory where like he's a piece of [expletive] and he needs to live.

[51:49–52:59] [Editorial omission.]

[52:59] And like, what the [expletive]?

[53:01] Like, was that even necessary to bring that up? Yeah, this sounds terrible. I mean, not like the women in powerment thing, but like, well, first off, bad guys, right? Like, if he was a bad person, probably he should have died. That's usually too like uh horror movies usually deliver on. Like, when you find out a good person is a bad person in a horror movie, they get what they deserve. That's like it's almost a satisfying thing you get out of it.

[53:21] We keep watching, like, okay, this guy's a piece of [expletive]. Let's just kill him. Like, well, I'll help you.

[53:25] Talk about a 180 of like going from women empowerment to it's okay. Like, right, well, you're just your rich family will pull a very expensive, confusing prank on you. Yep.

[53:35] And that will teach them a lesson. And that was basically the end of it is we taught this guy a lesson.

[53:41] Yeah, that's that is no horror movie. Should be like, I can't think of a single other movie where it's like, did you learn your lesson? Yeah, like okay, there was no actual danger here, everything's okay.

[53:52] Like, well, he doesn't know, he still thinks they're witches. And because at the end, after he leaves his daughter, there's some like UPS girl there, and she's like, Oh, hey, whatever your name is, do I know you? No, but I know you, and then she shows like the witch tattoo on her hand, and she's like, We'll be watching you. And he's like, Oh, and what the [expletive], man? And then just the dialogue was so cringy because at one point they're like, We need to drain the swamp, and like we gotta get rid of this bad ombre, you know, which is awesome.

[54:23] Like, this is a bunch of political, like they're just quoting like the Trump campaign.

[54:28] Like, very weird. I'm like, this has nothing to do with it. Like, when I when I dive into one of these movies, I want to be taken away from what's going on in the world right now, and for you to just force feed me this [expletive], drain the swamp in one bad ombre. Like, come on, man.

[54:45] I mean, I'd be down with it if you do it well, but like that doesn't sound well. You just said it just at all. That just, yeah, exactly. Right. It's uh it's crap. Oh that is 11 babies in a bags out of 10. Yes. That's crap.

[54:59–55:15] [Editorial omission.]

[55:15] I it just uh it feels like there was no stakes if really the like threat was just to make him a good person at the end. Like, I don't know, that's just again, not like a horror, maybe more of like a suspense movie that wasn't very good. Right. I don't know. I feel like if you gave me enough time, I can't off the top of my head, but I can think of better movies where like women villains like are better or are just better done and like and maybe do like I don't know.

[55:40] Like, look at the craft, you know? The craft is good. That was what I was thinking, right?

[55:44] Like, not maybe a horror movie, but like that's kind of more like what I'm thinking, or like I don't know, I was even thinking like Thinner, where he gets like cursed by a gypsy, like I don't know.

[55:53] And he deserved it, you know, and then his daughter dies at the end for the twist. That was a good [expletive] movie.

[55:58] Exactly. Like what he like basically he finds well, because in thinner, like his wife is cheating on him or something. Yeah, and so he basically like can't get rid of the curse, but you can pass it on. Like, I don't know, like that's more what I just would find in line with this movie.

[56:12] Yeah, um the whole thing is that the dialogue was bad, everything was forced.

[56:18] Yeah, and I mean literally words like draining the swamp battle onbreak, like now, like that's really too specific and bad writing. Yeah, and they're just talking about the chef guy.

[56:28] Like, what come on, just stop it. And I I was just so disappointed. I really thought Agnes was gonna turn around because Lonnie comes back, he ends up calling Lonnie, and Lonnie comes back at one point with a gun, and then that's when Agnes comes out. I'm like, oh [expletive], it's about to go down. And then Agnes is like, nope, you need to leave. Because it turns out Lonnie's [expletive] Agnes's kid. Yeah. And then so Lonnie leaves, and then there was one spot when Agnes, there's a bunch of like this weird monologuing stuff that happens in the movie where Agnes is like serving out dishes because that's her job to serve out these dishes, and she's like, Well, at least you women have a voice. In my day, we weren't even given that much.

[57:09] Right? That would have been awesome to go back. She's like, she's been around 300 years, yeah, and like on the right, that would have been. I think that could have been great. And then I think it would have been even better to be like, You want to pull a prank? Like, you think this is women empowerment? And then she strings all of them up, the guy, the women. That would have been even better, movie, you know. Yeah, I don't know. Like, yeah, I'm not into it based on the wife is like, Could you fix that? How could you well? I mean, we talked about Agnes being a witch, I guess. That would be the only way to fix it.

[57:38] That would have been everybody dies except for the twin sister, because honestly, those ladies kidnapped somebody, uh, tied them up, tortured him. Really, you're not that good of a person either. Like, I'm sorry. So Agnes turns out to be super evil witch, kills everybody there except for maybe the twin sister, and I would have been happy with that. Absolutely.

[57:59] I dig it.

[57:59] Yeah. Um everybody gets their just desserts.

[58:02] Yeah, 11 out of 10 babies in a bag.

[58:04] Oh man. But that was uh four horror movies that I actually spent time sit down to watch, and every single time I get disappointed. It's like I I love to abuse myself at this point.

[58:17] I feel like honorable mention would be uh M. Night Shaman, our good friend, right? And pretty much anything he's ever done. Even though they're not exactly horror movies and maybe more suspended.

[58:27] Sixth Sense was good.

[58:28] Yes, right? It that's the problem. Is I watched as a kid, and that was that was kind of scary as a as a kid. And then everything after that, absolutely like I because I thought Sixth Sense was scary, everything else I assumed, and when he had to misstep, I'm like, oh, the next one's gonna be fine. Nope. I mean the village.

[58:42] Yeah, what the because like that apparently was his thing now at this point was the twist.

[58:48] That's it.

[58:48] Yeah, and now he's like forcing it too hard.

[58:51] So I mean, because we had that, we had the happening, which maybe me at least like I was on board with uh the village until the I just hated the ending, right? But it actually was pretty good. This this idea of like somebody with like because what she was uh hearing impaired or vision impaired.

[59:08] Yeah, I think so. And then like I liked the whole idea. I didn't mind the idea of them like living in the woods, you know, outside of society. Yeah, like the way they just did the ending, like me.

[59:19] Well, because it was clearly just there to be like, ah, gotcha. It wasn't like uh and like they have the secret that they don't want to be found by society, right? Could have just maybe been some more expanding, but I I like didn't totally hate the village, it was just like a ledge out at the end. But the happening, oh yeah, I was pissed at the end. It's the the plants killing people, and then they just stop at the end, like the plants just stop. So he has a new thing out right now, and I don't know if you know it's uh old, no but older, or it's like he has a thing out in theaters right now.

[59:19] It's it's in theaters, and basically it's that like this film that goes a vacation on the island, and they are aging super fast. Um, and they find a body or someone dies, and then the body starts aging or something, and it like sounds great, but it's like looking at his last few movies, right? I don't know. Aka Avatar. Yeah, what was that? Oh wow, yeah. I forgot that was I tried I try to forget that all the time. What about um I I didn't see it? Wasn't like Lady in the Water, was that one better? Did you see that one? Um let's see.

[60:20] Was it Lady in the Water? I did watch it, and then it turns out like I like ones that have like a little whimsical like fantasy horror-esque. Like uh my favorite was Pan's Labyrinth, a Laboratino Delfano, uh, because the whole thing's subtitled. But that I love that [expletive] movie. So that idea I heard Panz Lava is an amazing. Oh, yeah. So that idea of like whimsy horror, like I really like that. And there was a little bit of that in Lady in the Water, but then it was like eh, it didn't hit it on the mark, you know.

[60:51] Yeah, um, he's uh he's a close runner up. Like he's almost like we just expect him to be bad and we still play those movies at this point.

[60:57] I could have made a whole list on just his movies.

[60:59] Yeah, pretty much. Um, well, thank you so much. That was uh I think that was a really great episode about just disappointment. Yes. Um that's my life. It's sad. Some of those I think had good premises. I think two two out of the the uh what was the first one called? The Shadow in the Cloud. Shadow and the Cloud, I thought had a really great premise. And then I also think the uh Shaman one was pretty good. Oh, yeah, the Soul Collector. If they just maybe wrapped up the endings better, I think those could have been good. I'm not so sure about the last one or the Treehouse or Never had a chance. Yeah. Was it The Wretched? Yeah, that was stupid.

[61:31] Yeah, I never had a chance.

[61:32] Never had a chance. Um, let us know if you've watched these videos or watched these movies uh and you felt different. If you liked this, we definitely want to hear from you. Yeah, because I can talk about horror movies all day long. You want to hear good ones?

[61:44] I got at least two that are good.

[61:48] What?

[61:48] Name drop them right now. Um just give me your like top what's like because uh the last one I I watched that I really liked, I forget the [expletive] name of it, but it was a uh Cthulhu inspired one.

[62:00] Oh, there's not enough of that. Yes, surprisingly, and a very saturated, like I feel like a lot Cthulhu is like very popular now, but not I'll look up the the name and uh send it to you.

[62:09] We can post it in the description or whatever. But uh this one was really good because these two kids managed to escape a cult, and then for one reason or another, how cults work, they're like, we need to go back, you know, and like finish our business. I need to settle things. Yeah, so they go back, and it turns out that the cult is actually trapped in these time bubbles that are all across this land, and like Cthulhu is at the center of it, or Cthulhu-esque monster. Yeah, and some of the time bubbles are really [expletive] up. So what happens is like every so the time bubble they're in is like every 10 years, Cthulhu wipes them out, kills them, and then brings them right back to square one.

[62:09] So it's like on a 10-year loop. But then one of the loops is super [expletive] up because it's like a five-second loop. So there's one guy in there who kills himself and then five seconds later it rewinds, and then he kills himself again. Five seconds later it rewinds, kills himself again.

[62:56] Oh yeah. That's see, that sounds cool.

[62:58] Oh, yeah, that one was a good one. And the the ending was good, they ended up like somehow escaping it because they had to leave the bubble within a certain time, otherwise they're trapped, and they ended up getting away. And that ending was really good. I'll have to look up the the name of it.

[63:11] We'll throw it out there. If we get one new patron in the month of July, and Nate will throw up a list of top movies, top five, ten horror movies, whatever that he recognized. And stuff you probably won't know of or expect. It'll probably be five. Probably just five for good ones. All right. Well, thanks so much. If uh again, if you enjoy the show, as always, nat1presents.com or go to patreon.com slash nat1presents and support us whichever way you'd like, and hit us up on social media, slide in our DMs, and we will talk to you next week. Thanks for coming by. Bye.